Skin Horse

By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
Color by Pancha Diaz
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2014-05-29
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2014-05-29

by shaenon on May 29, 2014 at 12:01 am
Chapter: The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
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Discussion (31) ¬

  1. kicking_k
    May 29, 2014, 12:12 am | # | Reply

    Come on, filkers, we want to hear the anthem!
    (I wish I could write filks.)

    • DavidMcG
      May 29, 2014, 2:06 am | # | Reply

      Her anthem goes:

      Bark bark woof yip ruff ruff bark!
      Ruff ruff ruff ruff woof bark bark!
      Bark bark woof woof ruff bark woof!
      Yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip!
      *Short howl.*
      *Long howl.*

      • Jeff K!
        May 29, 2014, 9:44 pm | # | Reply

        Like button, like button… where’s the friggin’ like button?!

        Anyway, I like it!

      • Frank Hightower
        May 29, 2014, 10:13 pm | # | Reply

        l..I read that to the tune of “Twinkle twinkle little star”

    • JET73L
      March 14, 2015, 7:39 am | # | Reply

      To the tune of about 5000 different songs, but the most widely recognized may be “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” (or in this group, “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Bat”):

      Sweetheart and her citizen
      Want to get the files again.
      From the basement they will climb,
      Get them back in record time.
      Sweetheart and her citizen
      (Also goes by Tip Wilkin.)

      Sweetheart’s alliance is great,
      Something something something “ate”.
      O-blig-‘tor-y second verse.
      With the messed-up lyrics curse.
      Something something little star.
      Now I know my ABCs.

  2. Dungeonmaster Jim
    May 29, 2014, 12:48 am | # | Reply

    Sounds like one of ‘Yes Minister’s’ irregular verbs.
    “I have an independent mind; you are an eccentric; he is round the twist.”
    “I give confidential press briefings; you leak; he’s being charged under section 2A of the Official Secrets Act.”

  3. Eddurd
    May 29, 2014, 6:41 am | # | Reply

    “From the West to the East,
    From the greatest to the least …”

    No, wait, that’s been taken already. How ’bout this one?

    (TUNE: “God Save The Queen”)

    Front Desk Resistance rules!
    We will show all those fools!
    Front Desk we hail!

    Bubbles and Chris I bossed,
    Then I got double-crossed!
    Now base-ment files are lost …
    Let’s kick some tail!

    • Andrew
      May 29, 2014, 8:39 am | # | Reply

      Disappointed you didn’t filk the Canadian anthem, one of the best anthems out there. Still, pretty good choice as anthems go.

      • Daibhid C
        May 29, 2014, 12:08 pm | # | Reply

        If you insist…

        O, basement files,
        That are so close at hand,
        I’ll get them soon, if Tip follows commands!

        The front desk team betrayed my trust,
        But soon they’re going to see,
        Through Annex One,
        O, basement files, you have to go to me!

        Gavotte knows my task,
        Is top priority,
        O, basement files, you have to go to me!
        O, basement files, you have to go to me!

      • Frank Hightower
        May 29, 2014, 10:29 pm | # | Reply

        wasn’t “God save the queen” the official anthem until, like, 1980? (Not that it stopped people from singing “O Canada” anyway)

  4. Rob Clark (@theelusivefish)
    May 29, 2014, 9:37 am | # | Reply

    Did somebody say Anthem?

    KILL! DESTROY! And kill SOME MORE!
    KILL SOME MORE!
    DOGS OF WAR!
    DOGS OF WAR!

    • Rex Vivat
      May 29, 2014, 10:23 am | # | Reply

      And now thanks to Ed and you I’ll have that stuck in my head all day. Not that I’m complaining.

  5. Robert Nowall
    May 29, 2014, 9:38 am | # | Reply

    Let Sweetheart sing her anthem. Find out whether her bark is worse than her bite.

  6. Rex Vivat
    May 29, 2014, 10:17 am | # | Reply

    Looks to me like Sweetheart is going mad, and not the genius kind…

  7. coy
    May 29, 2014, 11:35 am | # | Reply

    Sweetheart’s channeling Hobbes! <3

  8. Smithnik
    May 29, 2014, 12:32 pm | # | Reply

    But wait! Sweetheart using the files first actually made sense, since then everyone would have access to them at the same time. That part’s not Mad. Expecting Tip to sing an anthem, though, is a sure sign that her mind is going.

    • dornbeast
      May 29, 2014, 1:38 pm | # | Reply

      If you want it to make sense, they should get three or four more scanners, and have everybody scanning a portion of the files.

      However, this is a government agency. Things don’t always make sense…

    • Rex Vivat
      May 29, 2014, 1:41 pm | # | Reply

      That would make sense if that was her rationale. It doesn’t look like she’s thinking about anything except getting that raise ASAP, though. In any case, the reason why I said it looks like she’s going mad is today’s (and maybe yesterday’s) strip.

  9. freddiefreelance
    May 29, 2014, 1:46 pm | # | Reply

    Oh say can you see, front desk backstabbed me!
    Files so proudly expropr’ated from Kip they’ve kept for themselves?
    Whose stacks of sheets and cover pages thru the perilous fight,
    O’er Mustachio’s sound weapon they soundly knocked us out.
    And who’s reports should they be? Whose else’s but me?
    From far and wide,
    O basement files, we stand on guard for thee.
    Kip help keep our files glorious and free!
    O paperwork, we stand on guard for thee.
    O paperwork, we stand on guard for thee.

  10. davidbreslin101
    May 29, 2014, 2:06 pm | # | Reply

    So what is this now, the Back Office Revolutionary Front, fighting a war of national liberation? Hmmm.
    “Oh, say can you see, by the florescent light
    What so proudly we hailed in our tiny back office?
    Whose insectile small print and check boxes so tight
    Shine forth through the rings of a million spilled coffees?
    And the musak’s brown noise, all the front desk’s crude toys
    Could barely distract us from paperwork’s joys.
    Oh, say does that triplicate tax form still wave
    O’er the desk of the free and the team of the brave?”

  11. Tetra Valent
    May 29, 2014, 3:35 pm | # | Reply

    Actually, Ed, a filk of a Channing song in a Channing strip seems most appropriate:

    (TUNE: “The Official Madblood Battle Anthem”, Jeffrey Channing Wells)

    From the West to the East
    From the greatest to the least
    Ev’ry creature, ‘bot and beast,
    Bow before her!
    All departments, all floors
    From the windows to the doors
    You must crawl upon all fours
    And implore her:

    “O my liege! Here you go!
    Take my files! Sieze control!
    We are beaten – BY YOUR FAITHFUL SCANNER CORPS!”

    (chorus)
    Hail to the Captain of Industry!
    Loudly our voices in harmony
    Sing out the verse that she wrote, with glee –
    The mighty Lead Dog Sweetheart!

    From the West to the East
    Basement’s depth to rooftop’s crest
    You’ll be sorry that you ever messed
    With Sweetheart!
    Agent horde at her hest
    Steely heart within her breast
    There are medals on the furry rest
    Of Sweetheart!

    We, who heed her demands
    Live to follow her commands;
    Three are three:

    SCAN! REFILE! And scan SOME MORE!

    SCAN SOME MORE!

    SCANNER CORPS!

    SCANNER CORPS!

    (chorus)
    Hail to the leader in copying!
    Loudly our underpaid voices ring!
    Great is the triumph that we will bring
    To mighty Lead Dog Sweetheart!

    • Tetra Valent
      May 29, 2014, 3:37 pm | # | Reply

      “THERE are three”… hmmph

    • Andy4Hire
      May 29, 2014, 10:11 pm | # | Reply

      Wow, Tetra. I … I think I have to just go to bed now. Nothing else that can possibly happen today is going to top that filk.

  12. Guesticus
    May 29, 2014, 4:40 pm | # | Reply

    Is Sweetie really letting her jealousy get to her? Bad puppy! Bad mad puppy! No kibbles for you!

  13. jdreyfuss
    May 29, 2014, 7:39 pm | # | Reply

    So does Sweetheart consider them to be the Judean People’s Front, the Popular Front of Judea, the People’s Front of Judea, or the Judean Popular Front?

    • Frank Hightower
      May 29, 2014, 10:26 pm | # | Reply

      Can’t be the People’s Front of Judea, they don’t know their latin tenses.

  14. Shadowmehr
    May 29, 2014, 8:19 pm | # | Reply

    Would it be cynical of me to say that Tip and Sweetheart have encapsulated the essence of human mindset in panel 3?

  15. Saberbeam
    May 29, 2014, 8:33 pm | # | Reply

    Hrm, Sweetheart seems to be branching into politics. Add that to her bureaucratic skills, mix in some lying and she’ll be able to run against H.T. in whatever political endeavor he’s pursuing.

    • Frank Hightower
      May 29, 2014, 10:27 pm | # | Reply

      Fancy for president! The only president guaranteed to be a Sweatheart!

  16. TheLivingNick
    July 17, 2015, 12:54 pm | # | Reply

    “A rebellion is always legal in the first person, such as ‘our rebellion.’ It is only in the third person – ‘their rebellion’ – that it becomes illegal. ”

    Ben Franklin, 1776 (the play, not the year)

  17. Knuckles
    January 26, 2022, 9:36 am | # | Reply

    Sweetheart, your Canadian Invasion Conditioning is showing.

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