Skin Horse

By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
Color by Pancha Diaz
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2013-07-16
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2013-07-16

by shaenon on July 16, 2013 at 12:00 am
Chapter: My House Is Me
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Discussion (45) ¬

  1. Huxley
    July 16, 2013, 12:07 am | # | Reply

    I’m thinking they might have to bring Nick in to handle the “purity” part of the job.

    • John
      July 16, 2013, 12:58 am | # | Reply

      I’m thinking those robots are going to blow a gasket about halfway through the test.

      • Anderson
        July 16, 2013, 1:14 am | # | Reply

        I’m thinking this is going to be HILARIOUS.

        • maarvarq
          July 16, 2013, 9:10 am | # | Reply

          No, this is already hilarious 🙂

    • Dave
      July 16, 2013, 1:21 am | # | Reply

      Oh, poor Nick.

      • Quin
        July 16, 2013, 1:45 pm | # | Reply

        Well the curse no befall them now. Lets see how well they react or how fast they mob!

    • Shadowmehr
      July 16, 2013, 7:00 pm | # | Reply

      I’m thinking this interview is going to take three times as long as the Whimsies think it will.

      I’m also thinking any-bot that hasn’t fainted dead away halfway through will be frantically taking notes on Tip’s answers.

  2. Tetra Valent
    July 16, 2013, 1:18 am | # | Reply

    “Erg?” Looks like Princess Boot Camp wasn’t as comprehensive as it needed to be.

  3. Bartimaeus
    July 16, 2013, 1:19 am | # | Reply

    Oh snap.

  4. Manifesta
    July 16, 2013, 1:20 am | # | Reply

    Looks like it has to be Nick after all, since he has the luck to be tongueless. Although I’m not sure the Violet Bee part of him could pass the “kissing with tongues” test. I don’t think Unity could, either, and of course that’s the only way Sweetheart can kiss.
    And it does seem that Tip is wearing a helmet. He looks so gorgeous in his princess hazmat outfit: I don’t think Nick could pull that off.

    • soft
      July 16, 2013, 9:57 am | # | Reply

      Wait… if he is wearing a helmet… how is he drinking tea?

      • eddurd
        July 16, 2013, 11:42 am | # | Reply

        That appears to be some sort of high collar behind his head. I know, I had to look twice at that myself.

        • CrazyDreamer
          July 16, 2013, 5:11 pm | # | Reply

          If so, it’s a semitransparent one. (You can see the chair through it, but Cute Animal On Left appears distorted when we get a close-up.)

    • Chris
      July 17, 2013, 8:06 pm | # | Reply

      “He looks so gorgeous in his princess hazmat outfit: I don’t think Nick could pull that off.”

      Well, Nick’s wouldn’t need to be a hazmat outfit.

  5. woozy
    July 16, 2013, 1:20 am | # | Reply

    Well, tip isn’t much *less* pure in deed than he is in spirit. Kind of a neither/nor win for him.

  6. Grantwhy
    July 16, 2013, 1:34 am | # | Reply

    Just because Tip may have had … intimate … moments in the past doesn’t mean he will fail this ‘purity test’.

    I mean, how badly can the creatures take Tip’s answers?

    http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20050520
    http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20050523

  7. Nebulous
    July 16, 2013, 2:27 am | # | Reply

    Tip is totally pure.
    “Pure WHAT?” is the question.

    • EmuSam
      July 16, 2013, 4:24 am | # | Reply

      Or purely total.

  8. Towering Barbarian
    July 16, 2013, 2:36 am | # | Reply

    Or,…It may simply be that sentient robots occasionally get bored and don’t mind hazing the newbie a little by pulling his leg with what they make him think they expect. Somehow I just would not be surprised. >_>

  9. =Tamar
    July 16, 2013, 4:41 am | # | Reply

    Possibly sentient robots have a different definition of purity, too.

    • eddi
      July 16, 2013, 5:05 am | # | Reply

      Judging by that first question, not only do they have an old-fashion definition, but I suspect some of Unca’ Walt’s princesses might not make the cut due to short shirts and low necklines.

  10. llearch n'n'daCorna
    July 16, 2013, 6:31 am | # | Reply

    I’m thinking of some of the later questions. Like, “have you ever used the contents of a purity test as a source of ideas?”

    I’m also wondering if Tip can answer no to _any_ of the questions… ;-]

    • carakaze
      July 16, 2013, 9:08 pm | # | Reply

      He’s pure… But of the opposite polarity…

  11. Eddurd
    July 16, 2013, 6:36 am | # | Reply

    (TUNE: “Young Girl”, Gary Puckett & The Union Gap)

    [CHORUS:]
     Tongue kiss! We’ve got to be sure
     That you are truly pure and demure!
     As a young miss,
     Did you once tongue kiss?

    To be a true Whimsy Princess,
    There are some things that just aren’t done!
    Now we must certify that you’re, indeed,
    So pure in deed!
    Let us being with Question One …
     Oh, [repeat CHORUS]

    While swapping spit with your partner,
    Was contact made below the face?
    Did you allow them to caress your hair,
    Or shoulders bare?
    Did someone get to second base?
     Oh, [repeat CHORUS]

    It seems Tip won’t be accepted,
    Once his past his-to-ry they’ve heard …
    They’ll say that he is too depraved and sick!
    So call for Nick!
    It’s time to fetch the virgin nerd!
     Oh, [repeat CHORUS]

    • eddurd
      July 16, 2013, 11:55 am | # | Reply

      Drat it … “BEGIN with Question One”, not “being”. Why don’t I see these things even when I double-check before posting, and why can we not edit these mulder-filing comments?

  12. TFC
    July 16, 2013, 7:20 am | # | Reply

    Oooh, this should be fun.
    I’m remebering what Momoko says in Shangri-la when the militars question them:
    “I’m not “part” anything. I’m completely… (beat) transexual!”

  13. Danny in Canada
    July 16, 2013, 7:39 am | # | Reply

    Given how important this is, why doesn’t Captain Doctor Princess Wilkin just, y’know… [i]lie[/i]?

    • Towering Barbarian
      July 16, 2013, 7:57 am | # | Reply

      3 potential problems with that:

      1. As +Tamar noted it’s possible that they have a different standard of purity than humans have (The fact that they have no problem with a guy being a princess certainly points to some offbeat standards already!) in which case Tip has no way of knowing what the right answer is. Anticipating what another human might mean by that would have been tricky enough even without that complication.

      2. I’m pretty sure that being caught in a lie qualifies as a failure of the purity test and Tip has no way of being sure just what sort of lie detection equipment they may have had set up or even built in.

      3. This is a training situation meant to prepare him for The Real Thing. BSing his way past this might put him into a life or death situation he wouldn’t be prepared for and might get him killed when admitting his weakness so that he can be drilled out of it might help him carry the day.

      • soft
        July 16, 2013, 9:13 am | # | Reply

        1. While entirely possible, with the setup we’ve been given thus far, not likely.

        3. Actually, he’s out of the training now. Convincing these robotic animals that he is a princess is the practical application of the training he received. ie, this is “The Real Thing”.

        More so the the lying… while it probably would be best for him to at least try, he probably won’t. I don’t think we’ve seen any real examples of his lying yet, have we? It may just be against his character.

        Or, you know, seems we’re getting the sense of a setup to getting Nick to become the Princess, Tip may just end up failing the test in some manor (he did make the “start a fresh pot of tea” comment which indicates being there for a while and I’d think that’d only be if he was going to be truthful). He could either outright fail, or his own conscious could get in the way make him think he couldn’t ever be a “true” Princess.

    • davidbreslin101
      July 16, 2013, 8:04 am | # | Reply

      Particularly as Princess Tip, being both aristocratic and biologically male, is therefore a gentleman. The one thing a gentleman never does is kiss and tell, whether with tongues or not.

      • davidbreslin101
        July 16, 2013, 1:17 pm | # | Reply

        ….several hours later, it occurs to me that come across a bit trans-phobic. Being both aristocratic and biologically male, Tip may, at his discretion, choose to self-identify as a gentleman for certain purposes, and be able to back it up with the appropriate genitalia. Which a gentleman would never do.

  14. Moe Lane
    July 16, 2013, 7:57 am | # | Reply

    Yeah, I was wondering when the other glass slipper would drop.

  15. jdreyfuss
    July 16, 2013, 1:08 pm | # | Reply

    Rice used to use a school-produced purity test that was rather, uh, stranger than the most common ones. My sophomore year they switched to one of the online tests and everyone’s score dropped ten points. Except the guy that got an 8 on the original test; somehow his score stayed the same.

    • commodorejohn
      July 16, 2013, 2:05 pm | # | Reply

      Wait, wait, your school administered these? Do tell…

      • jdreyfuss
        July 17, 2013, 12:01 am | # | Reply

        Rice uses a residential college system, where each dorm is a separate entity governed by its own students, essentially a fraternity. The students running the dorms administer the test to the incoming freshmen during orientation.

        • Moe Lane
          July 17, 2013, 7:04 am | # | Reply

          …What happened if you didn’t want to take the test?

          • Moe Lane
            July 17, 2013, 7:17 am | #

            …Never mind, I looked it up. Voluntary. No worries, then.

    • Tetra Valent
      July 16, 2013, 2:08 pm | # | Reply

      It’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to help fully calibrate these things.

  16. Toper
    July 16, 2013, 3:36 pm | # | Reply

    “Nothing but lip on lip action will suffice with a true princess.” -The Enchiridion

  17. Ogden Wernstrom
    July 16, 2013, 5:10 pm | # | Reply

    This would be Tip’s most ironic opportunity to try to exploit his superpower. Whether Tip passes or not, that rabbit does not hope to hear the word “no” repeated 100 times.

  18. Robert The Addled
    July 16, 2013, 6:30 pm | # | Reply

    I still think there is a chance that they are looking for a Rampling style “sleeping beauty”.

    If so – Tip probably has it covered.

  19. Axel
    July 16, 2013, 7:21 pm | # | Reply

    Tip’s most awkward game of “Never have I ever” to date.

    Well, I guess, I hope it is.

  20. kajisora
    July 17, 2013, 7:31 pm | # | Reply

    welllp
    This should be fun

  21. Darkstarr
    May 4, 2016, 12:55 am | # | Reply

    I so want to see Tip’s answers to the Purity Test!

  22. WJS
    July 9, 2019, 10:42 am | # | Reply

    And he was doing so well until this point.

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