Skin Horse

By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
Color by Pancha Diaz
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2020-09-23
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2020-09-23

by shaenon on September 23, 2020 at 12:01 am
Chapter: The Lee of the Stone
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Discussion (52) ¬

  1. thenardyr
    September 23, 2020, 12:11 am | # | Reply

    Apropos of nothing, Sergio is making me think of Prince, if Prince had glasses and favored green in the 80s. Granted, no ruffles or sequins, but still.

    Also, Shaenon, is there a vegan jazz cafe in San Jose you were specifically referring to? Just curious

  2. BMunro
    September 23, 2020, 12:49 am | # | Reply

    Cats hear “vegan” and put brain on “ignore.”

    • D. Walker
      September 23, 2020, 1:43 am | # | Reply

      To be fair, cats are obligate carnivores – it is effectively impossible for them to survive without animal protein. They evolved to require meat, and can’t not eat it.

      • StClair
        September 23, 2020, 3:59 am | # | Reply

        Which doesn’t stop some more-dogma-than-sense vegan cat abusers owners from trying.

        • D. Walker
          September 23, 2020, 4:16 am | # | Reply

          Yet another reason I’m eagerly awaiting the clonal / vat-grown meat revolution.

          Meat is delicious and nutritious, and unless you’re a particularly extreme form of Jainist or something, it’s pretty hard to fault the morality of eating tissues that were never part of a sentient organism.

          • maarvarq
            September 23, 2020, 5:41 am | #

            I would settle for milk out of a vat that behaved like actual milk rather than the various parodies marketed as plant ‘milks’ (if one can’t make brie out of it, then it isn’t milk), although I must admit that coconut yoghurt is not a bad imitation of the real thing.

          • matt w
            September 23, 2020, 8:05 am | #

            I do feel differently in principle about cow’s milk as opposed to dead cow parts (as long as I don’t think much about the cows’ living conditions). Though part of that is that cheese is most of my diet.

            Which makes me think–should I ask my food ethics colleagues about the ethics of black pudding if, hypothetically, the blood was obtained by having the pigs do blood drives? Is the problem there that that makes you think about what black pudding is?

          • David B Huber
            September 23, 2020, 5:24 pm | #

            Personally, I must confess I’m looking forward to my first porkuswine sandwich!

        • Steverino
          September 23, 2020, 8:35 am | # | Reply

          Dogma? How about catma.

      • Daphne Eftychia Arthur
        September 23, 2020, 5:16 am | # | Reply

        Note that “can’t not eat meat” does not equal “can’t eat/enjoy vegetables” — I’ve known cats who love avocado, nectarine, jalapeño, bread, olives, corn, … (okay, fine, I’ve listed fruits and grain, not vegetables — but non-meat foodstuffs anyhow). As long as they _mostly_ eat meat (and stay away from alliums and certain spices (cloves, I think)), they’re fine.

        Guillaume is mostly a very polite cat[*] … until he can smell ripe olives or oregano. Then he gets rather insistent on being given his share. He never eats _much_ olive before he decides he’s had enough, but he will pester me and pester me if I don’t give him any. He also wants a strip of carrot peel whenever I scrape a carrot, but he doesn’t ear the carrot, just rolls around on it and cuddles it.

        [*] Alleged-cat. Quite possibly an alien in a cat costume. But the other foods I listed have been favoured by cats I’m sure were actually cats.

        • jdreyfuss
          September 23, 2020, 9:19 am | # | Reply

          Obligate carnivore means they have to eat meat and a strong majority of their diet must be meat. They do still need vegetable food sources, just not as much as, say humans or dogs.

        • mickeyjf
          September 23, 2020, 11:41 am | # | Reply

          Maybe carrot peels are in the same family as cap nip?

        • waynezombie
          September 23, 2020, 12:13 pm | # | Reply

          Our standard poodles practically demand trimmings when I am cutting up bell peppers and cucumbers for gazpacho. But then if you give some to our hound, he’s outrageously offended. “You eat this stuff?!!!”

          • D. Walker
            September 23, 2020, 5:30 pm | #

            Dogs are true omnivores, though – your hound sounds like he’s just a picky eater.

        • awgiedawgie
          September 23, 2020, 12:29 pm | # | Reply

          Our previous cat loved lasagna. I doubt he would have devoured as much as Garfield does, but I would leave what would have been one or two more bites for me, and I’d just hand him the whole plate, and in just a couple minutes, he would have the entire plate licked clean.

          Our current cat wants nothing to do with it.

  3. wykstrad
    September 23, 2020, 1:45 am | # | Reply

    Artie is so put together and seemingly above everyone else’s struggles most of the time, which I think makes it all the funnier when he’s hit with a freight train of hormones.

    • D. Walker
      September 23, 2020, 1:50 am | # | Reply

      Except it’s been established that his gerbil hormones don’t work that way – when Artie first was turned into a human, he complained about having to cope with his different hormones, specifically bemoaning that apes are always in heat.

      It doesn’t make much sense, then, to attribute this behavior to hormones, when he’s normally cool and collected even when in human form. This is something else.

      • awgiedawgie
        September 23, 2020, 3:19 am | # | Reply

        Quite. That “something else” is called infatuation. And while there might be some hormone involved that causes your mouth to disengage from your brain when you see the object of your affection, it’s all in the mind, and completely different from being “in heat”.

        • Shadowmehr
          September 23, 2020, 8:56 pm | # | Reply

          In short, don’t blame chemistry for problems from psychology.

      • wykstrad
        September 24, 2020, 12:16 am | # | Reply

        Eh, I was using “hormones” figuratively. I don’t get this weird obsession with pinpointing the exact bio-psychologic mechanism that is working on Artie at the moment. He’s fallen in love with the guy–surely us always-in-heat apes can understand how that makes you behave differently, regardless of your specific physiology.

  4. Altarboy
    September 23, 2020, 2:48 am | # | Reply

    I know a few vegan places in San Jose, but none of them qualify as a “jazz cafe”

    • casimir
      September 23, 2020, 10:25 am | # | Reply

      … only because the musicians don’t have the chops.

      • Seph
        September 23, 2020, 10:35 am | # | Reply

        Groan.

    • 5-tons-of-flax
      September 23, 2020, 12:51 pm | # | Reply

      Do you know the way to the San Jose jazz cafe?

      • Shadowmehr
        September 23, 2020, 1:27 pm | # | Reply

        Woah-woah-woah-wuh-woah

      • Ogden Wernstrom
        September 23, 2020, 11:51 pm | # | Reply

        Practice, practice, practice.

  5. Dave from Indy
    September 23, 2020, 3:52 am | # | Reply

    But do you know the way?

    • D. Walker
      September 23, 2020, 4:20 am | # | Reply

      Unfortunately, these days that phrase is less recognizable as a reference to a song from 1968, and much more likely to be associated with a problematic meme…

      • maarvarq
        September 23, 2020, 5:44 am | # | Reply

        I am old enough that the song was what I thought of, and having looked up the meme, I shall now try to forget about what I read.

        • awgiedawgie
          September 23, 2020, 12:31 pm | # | Reply

          Thank you. Now I’m glad that I didn’t look it up.

        • maarvarq
          September 2, 2021, 9:38 am | # | Reply

          Which, in less than a year, I have.

    • Jess
      September 23, 2020, 5:12 am | # | Reply

      to San Jose?

    • Robert Nowall
      September 23, 2020, 6:06 am | # | Reply

      Does he have lots of friends there?

  6. Robert Nowall
    September 23, 2020, 6:09 am | # | Reply

    If you’re running away from Anasigma, Sergio, you might want to ditch the uniform. I’m sure Artie will appreciate it.

    • Foradain
      September 23, 2020, 9:23 am | # | Reply

      Actually, I’m thinking Artie would appreciate Sergio ditching whatever he’s wearing, and more so if they’re not busy running from A-Sig.

  7. matt w
    September 23, 2020, 8:08 am | # | Reply

    Man, it’s safer to go to the vegan jazz cafe in a zombie riot than in our actual timeline.

    • Smithnik
      September 23, 2020, 3:32 pm | # | Reply

      That depends on whether there are still any vegan zombies coming out of Colma. Given the location, you know there had to be some…

  8. Sleepy John
    September 23, 2020, 9:05 am | # | Reply

    Super intelligence means screwing up better and faster than anyone.

    • Candace
      September 24, 2020, 12:49 am | # | Reply

      Indeed. Overthinking things happens.

  9. jdreyfuss
    September 23, 2020, 9:21 am | # | Reply

    A super genius disguised as a super soldier, a cat, and a polymorphing gerbil walk into a vegan jazz cafe . . .

    • Barbara K
      September 23, 2020, 9:29 am | # | Reply

      …and a termite asks, “is-the-bar-ten-der-here?”

      • David B Huber
        September 23, 2020, 10:35 am | # | Reply

        – Deep Bow –

  10. Sybracus
    September 23, 2020, 12:08 pm | # | Reply

    I’ve finally figured out the love at first sight angle. Artie can extrapolate the future. Obvious yes. Well what does he see when he looks at Sergio? A reliable romantic partnership.

    For the rest of us it’s lust at first sight. For Artie, he truly sees love at first sight.

    • Robert Nowall
      September 23, 2020, 5:09 pm | # | Reply

      “Do you believe in a love at first sight? Yes, I’m certain that it happens all the time.”

      • Candace
        September 24, 2020, 12:51 am | # | Reply

        “What do you see when you turn out the light?”

  11. Robert Nowall
    September 23, 2020, 5:09 pm | # | Reply

    “Do you believe in a love at first sight? Yes, I’m certain that it happens all the time.”

    • Robert Nowall
      September 23, 2020, 5:09 pm | # | Reply

      Somewhere in cyberspace my comments doubled.

  12. Andy4Hire
    September 23, 2020, 8:41 pm | # | Reply

    Apologies if someone else beat me to this point, but:

    In Dirk Tiede’s contribution to the penultimate Narbonic strip, Artie is seated next to a dark-haired, chisel-jawed, bespectacled man, who is animatedly discussing something with Mell. The dark-haired man is seated across from the blond-haired man seated next to Mell, and both men are in the seats farthest from the head of the table, indicating the most distant connection of anyone present to Helen and Dave.

    Neither of these men is unambiguously identified, either within the panel or with a clear point of reference to anything in an earlier strip. We cannot be certain of their names or of their relationships to anyone else at the table; we can only speculate. But the blond-haired man might well be Caliban, although we cannot hear whether he has the requisite snippy British accent; and the dark-haired man could easily be Latino, and Artie’s predilection for “slim, bronzed Latin men” has been canonically established. From their physical characteristics and from their placement at the table, it is reasonable to assume that the blond-haired man is Mell’s significant other and the dark-haired man is Artie’s.

    Thus it is entirely plausible that that dark-haired man who is depicted celebrating Thanksgiving with Artie and his family (such as it is) in his capacity as Artie’s significant other–and, as a bonus, also as Mell’s childhood friend–is none other than our Sergio Mendoza.

    • awgiedawgie
      September 24, 2020, 4:28 pm | # | Reply

      That is disturbingly plausible.

      Shaenon’s comments on that strip confirm that the blond guy is indeed Caliban, but she makes no mention of who the olive-skinned man is. However, elsewhere in her comments, she mentions that one of the artists she had contacted about contributing to that strip (but who couldn’t do it for some reason) was supposed to have drawn Artie’s wedding, so that makes it even more likely that they guy in Dirk’s strip is Artie’s significant other. Whether he’s really Sergio remains to be seen.

  13. Altarboy
    September 23, 2020, 9:47 pm | # | Reply

    You might want Cafe Stritch, but it’s not vegan

    • Andrew Wetmore
      September 24, 2020, 4:17 am | # | Reply

      … in this timeline. Who knows whether that’s the same as their timeline?

  14. Knuckles
    February 15, 2022, 1:52 pm | # | Reply

    Taking a box containing an unknown entity on a date to a vegan jazz cafe?

    I’ve heard of worse first dates.

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