Skin Horse

By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
Color by Pancha Diaz
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2020-03-09
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2020-03-09

by shaenon on March 9, 2020 at 12:01 am
Chapter: The Dreadful Future
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Discussion (38) ¬

  1. Robert Nowall
    March 9, 2020, 12:04 am | # | Reply

    New storyline, right? Suspected as much. “Always seems to be…Ira always gets the final word…”

    • greenknight32
      March 9, 2020, 3:54 am | # | Reply

      Yep – new chapter title, “The Dreadful Future”. Sounds like everything’s going to turn out fine, eh?

      • BMunro
        March 9, 2020, 4:43 am | # | Reply

        Might be irony: SF reviewer James Nicoll uses the tag “Grim Meathook Future” for positive technological or social developments.

        • Robert Nowall
          March 9, 2020, 7:59 am | # | Reply

          I have a theory (which I probably lifted from someone else), that all these rotten ugly dismal unhappy futures you see in the movies and the books come about because it’s easy and fun for the creators. I liked the then-future part in “Back to the Future II” because it wasn’t like that.

          • khn0
            March 9, 2020, 4:30 pm | #

            I’m quite sure that several of Spinrads r.u.d.u. futures (your acronym, your pronounciation) were rather dreadful to write given the amount of writing contraints.

            Also the positive future is possibly maybe a very pre-end-of-the-60’s thing for both authors and settings, hence the symetrical future of the golden past from the back to the future series

            imo

            which is right because I have stolen all the curb-iron-around-my-certainty from the 50’s sci-fi novels.

          • Robert Nowall
            March 9, 2020, 6:28 pm | #

            If I’d realized I was creating an acronym I would’a rearranged the words or thrown in a couple more. I think these dystopias perhaps also provide more room for adventure (think “Blade Runner”) than a story set in a utopia.

      • Daibhid C
        March 9, 2020, 2:29 pm | # | Reply

        As with all the chapter titles, it’s a reference to children’s/YA literature, namely The Dreadful Future of Blossom Culp by Richard Peck.

        Note that Blossom is from the 1910s and the book was written in 2001, so the “dreadful future” was the present then, and is the past now.

  2. Pygar
    March 9, 2020, 12:30 am | # | Reply

    I hope they meet Florida Man!- that guy *stays* in the news! Next to Captain Klutz, he’s my favorite superhero!

    • Thenardyr
      March 9, 2020, 2:24 am | # | Reply

      That brings up an interesting question…would “Florida Man” stay in the news after reality blindness sets in? How absurd can humans behave before their fellows stop being able to perceive them?

      • D. Walker
        March 9, 2020, 8:40 am | # | Reply

        I mean, plenty of other unbelieveably weird and dumb things stay in the news – for example, our national politics and elections leap to mind.

        Things that are too weird get filtered out or treated as normal, but I think stuff that only starts to straddle the line maybe just hits the news cycle, people cluck their tongues at it or share it on social media, and then it gets forgotten about – which, in a sense, accomplishes the same thing?

        • D. Walker
          March 9, 2020, 9:16 am | # | Reply

          …actually, scratch that. I bet “Florida Man” actually IS the product of reality blindness.

          When a radioactive giant squid washes up on shore and goes on a rampage in downtown Miami, eatting the taco trucks off every corner, the reality blind simply see it as yet Florida Man who got messed up on bath salts and codeine cough syrup.

          When a sex-crazed mad scientist unleashes their horde of ultra-sonic flying vibrators upon the world, the news warns people about the dangers of a swarm of Africanized killer bees which escaped from Florida Man’s unlicensed discount pet shop, until their AA batteries all run down and people forget all about it.

          When a half dozen juvenile alligators in a trenchcoat and a fake moustache get caught trying to get into a R-rated movie without ID, it’s just yet another case of Florida Man trying to smuggle exotic reptiles.

          • sasha honeypalm
            March 9, 2020, 11:08 am | #

            Headcanon accepted.

          • awgiedawgie
            March 9, 2020, 12:57 pm | #

            I love it. How many bizarre things can we attribute to Florida Man?

          • Thenardyr
            March 12, 2020, 12:50 am | #

            I bow to your genius.

      • jdreyfuss
        March 9, 2020, 8:57 am | # | Reply

        Remember that the Tyson Zone exists. The place where a person becomes so well known for causing or being around weirdness that no story about them is unbelievable, no matter how implausible it may seem.

  3. Altarboy
    March 9, 2020, 2:52 am | # | Reply

    Interesting question, I almost can’t believe Florida Man now.

  4. BMunro
    March 9, 2020, 4:44 am | # | Reply

    If the building-mecha is essentially Hitty’s body now, will Tip be designing her a swimsuit?

    • awgiedawgie
      March 9, 2020, 6:32 am | # | Reply

      It’s not Hitty’s body. It’s more like her car. A giant, walking car (maybe soon to be a submarine), but just a vehicle, nonetheless. Yes, she’s providing 1/3 of the building’s power, and she’s driving, so she refers to everything the building is doing in the first person (just like you would when you’re driving your own car), but she’s still her own person. She can function just fine without the building.

    • OneUniverse
      March 9, 2020, 2:01 pm | # | Reply

      I’m surprised if Tip doesn’t have input about the doilies.

      Still, I’m sure Captain Wilkin can come up with some sort of car-bra or interior decorating for Hitty.

      • awgiedawgie
        March 9, 2020, 5:51 pm | # | Reply

        Frankly, I’m kind of surprised that Tip hasn’t given Hitty a makeover at some point. (Maybe he did, and I’ve just forgotten it.) He’s madeover every other female – and a good many of the males – at Annex One, with the exception of Gavotte.

        Annex One herself is just another female in need of a makeover, but such a task may be Tip’s biggest challenge yet.

        • Pygar
          March 9, 2020, 9:56 pm | # | Reply

          Awright, who *else* just pictured Hitty being buffed in the “Merry Old Land of Oz” scene?

  5. Mike Conner
    March 9, 2020, 6:43 am | # | Reply

    Doily collection? What about the popcorn tins? The popcorn gets soggy and the tins will rust! Doilies will dry in the sun.

    • awgiedawgie
      March 9, 2020, 8:43 am | # | Reply

      Yes, they’ll dry in the sun, but sea water would ruin them. Even well water, if the salt content is too high, will ruin doilies. We hand wash ours using distilled water.

    • D. Walker
      March 9, 2020, 9:33 am | # | Reply

      His popcorn tins might be made of ‘tinplate’, which is steel with a thin layer of tin on the surface.

      Tin and steel both oxidize, but tin leaves a protective layer of tin oxide that protects the material beneath it, whereas steel (and iron) alone will rust through.

      They could also be galvanized, a different process that uses zinc instead of tin, but that has much the same effect.

      In fact, I’m sure there’s a whole bevy of processes to choose from which accomplish the same basic effect of making the ‘tins’ corrosion proof (or at least resistant). As long as they have a watertight seal, it shouldn’t be a real concern.

      • sasha honeypalm
        March 9, 2020, 11:10 am | # | Reply

        All seals are watertight, otherwise they would just sink.

        • OneUniverse
          March 9, 2020, 2:03 pm | # | Reply

          Are the seals watertight because of all the fish they eat?

        • Ogden Wernstrom
          March 9, 2020, 2:44 pm | # | Reply

          Sinks are watertight too, otherwise they would be called sieves. A non-watertight seal would sieve, like a jellyfish or baleen whale.

      • awgiedawgie
        March 9, 2020, 12:54 pm | # | Reply

        Galvanizing is technically any metal-on-metal reaction that produces an electric current. It generally leaves a coating (often corrosion-resistant) behind. Tinplate is a type of galvanizing, but it’s more expensive than zinc. Aluminum is classic for creating a galvanic reaction with steel, but it’s very rarely a desirable reaction.

        All this talk of galvanizing is interesting, but completely irrelevant, since popcorn tins are just made out of plain old steel. They’re painted on the outside, but they’re not at all designed for exposure to water. Even high humidity in the air will make them rust.

      • Sheik
        March 9, 2020, 1:06 pm | # | Reply

        He’d be ahead by just building a sealed cabinet, preferably filled with a gas like argon. This would prevent both water entry (given good enough seals) and oxidation.
        I was surprised to learn that many commercial foodstuffs are now packed in argon rather than nitrogen or under vacuum. My first encounter was with a coffee tin. I thought it had somehow gone bad because the sealed lid had puffed out.

    • sasha honeypalm
      March 9, 2020, 11:09 am | # | Reply

      Oh oh OH. I thought it said “daily collection”, and I was wondering if I was supposed to remember what he was collecting daily.

    • jdreyfuss
      March 9, 2020, 6:24 pm | # | Reply

      I can almost guarantee they’re some kind of painted rolled aluminum. Tin plating is expensive and zinc galvanized steel would leech off and risk giving the popcorn a weird flavor.

      • mickeyjf
        March 9, 2020, 7:17 pm | # | Reply

        I can guarantee they’re not. Try putting a magnet against one. Aluminum is fabulously expensive compared to steel and is only used when economically justified.

        • jdreyfuss
          March 10, 2020, 8:31 am | # | Reply

          Oops, meant to say rolled aluminum or mild steel. Sorry for the mixup.

  6. Robert Nowall
    March 9, 2020, 4:08 pm | # | Reply

    Oh, we’re putting on caulk
    To go swimming today.
    ‘Cause we’re taking a walk
    Down Florida way.
    We would like it better if we never more roam,
    And make the Kansas rebel station our home.

    We’d ignore the past, yes, yes.
    We would know that it suits.
    We would settle fast,
    And we’d put down roots.
    But with our Skin-Horse duty stops us making such a fuss.
    Should be this Kansas rebel station for us.

    It can’t be mere overstating
    Danger is waiting
    When our Floridating trip is through.
    But Sweetheart, our ringleader,
    We won’t impede her.
    She might make the one of us two.

    So we’re heading on out.
    Go with the flow.
    You can put it about
    We’d rather not go.
    We would like it better if we never more roam.
    And make this Kansas rebel station our home.

    —from “San Fernando Valley,” Gordon Jenkins, sung by Bing Crosby.

  7. Robert Nowall
    March 9, 2020, 6:08 pm | # | Reply

    By the way, who’s this polite little robot? I think I’ve seen him scuttling around in the background, but can’t remember if we’ve been properly introduced.

    • jdreyfuss
      March 9, 2020, 6:27 pm | # | Reply

      He’s one of the robots from the basement civilizations. They’ve got surfer dude accents and like to go stunt driving.

  8. Shadowmehr
    March 9, 2020, 9:15 pm | # | Reply

    Putting down roots would be a good idea if it wasn’t for the target they have metaphorically (mostly) on their back. As it is, any roots might be literal (if Cypress joins up after sprouting again).

  9. Efogoto
    March 10, 2020, 1:55 am | # | Reply

    I’m merely surprised to see Hitty use the word “is”.

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