Skin Horse

By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
Color by Pancha Diaz
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2017-04-19
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2017-04-19

by shaenon on April 19, 2017 at 12:01 am
Chapter: Fun for Some
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Discussion (86) ¬

  1. Chris Barts
    April 19, 2017, 12:11 am | # | Reply

    Ah, the XKCD approach: Have a guard to stab anyone who asks tricky questions in the face.

    • OneUniverse
      April 19, 2017, 12:58 am | # | Reply

      Then some days *everyone* will get stabbed in the face: That guard will get awfully tired, and ask if he can quit, then stab herself.

      • OneUniverse
        April 19, 2017, 12:58 am | # | Reply

        My weak “s” finger is showing.

      • Saberbeam
        April 19, 2017, 2:02 pm | # | Reply

        Those responsible for stabbing the people who have been stabbed, have been stabbed.

    • void
      April 19, 2017, 5:27 am | # | Reply

      How easy that one is depends on whether asking the question “would that guard stab me if I asked a tricky question?” counts as a tricky question.

      • WarpZone
        April 19, 2017, 1:37 pm | # | Reply

        “What is the least tricky question that would defeat all three of you?”

        The one who always says the opposite of what he means will ask a tricky question that wouldn’t defeat them and get stabbed in the face. While that’s happening, the one who always tells the truth will defeat the other two.

        Or, you know, layer defensive buffs on the guy with the highest dex bonus and have him ask the tricky questions.

  2. casimir
    April 19, 2017, 12:16 am | # | Reply

    Ha! Called it.

  3. Dave
    April 19, 2017, 12:20 am | # | Reply

    hat-er?

    • woozy
      April 19, 2017, 1:22 am | # | Reply

      I’m thinking “hat” is simply wring and doesn’t work in any way.

    • Paul
      April 19, 2017, 2:40 am | # | Reply

      Hatters gotta hat.

      • bitflipper
        September 12, 2017, 10:25 pm | # | Reply

        That way lies madness.

    • Seph
      April 19, 2017, 5:30 am | # | Reply

      The two extra letters are -ch, resulting in ‘hatch’, a misspelling of ‘haitch’, an alternate name of the letter H.

      • mythriver11
        April 19, 2017, 6:51 am | # | Reply

        …or just “hatch”, a noun meaning ‘an opening of restricted size’ or a verb meaning ‘to emerge from an egg’.

        • mythriver11
          April 19, 2017, 6:51 am | # | Reply

          Never mind, I see it now.

      • coladrink
        April 19, 2017, 11:17 pm | # | Reply

        I’m going with “hatch” because for sure when that hatch opens in the floor there are going to be fewer people.

    • colomon
      April 19, 2017, 7:41 am | # | Reply

      I’m fairly certain there are fewer haters than hats in this world; there are a LOT of hats.

      • WarpZone
        April 19, 2017, 2:33 pm | # | Reply

        http://www.statisticbrain.com/hat-industry-statistics/
        https://www.splcenter.org/hatewatch/2013/03/26/doj-study-more-250000-hate-crimes-year-most-unreported

        Depends how you define hater. If it’s a person who committed a hate crime this year, sure. If it’s a person who made a negative comment on the internet, oh LORD no. Haters born per year outnumber hats by a huge margin, in that case.

        • BrokenEye, the True False Prophet
          April 22, 2017, 12:19 am | # | Reply

          It disturbs me that people nowadays are so shallow that they’d try to demonize anyone offering criticism by comparing them to the perpetrators of hate crimes, just to save themselves the mild discomfort of considering their complaints to see if they have merit.

          Just because constructive criticism isn’t phrased politely doesn’t mean you can’t learn from it.

          • bitflipper
            September 12, 2017, 10:29 pm | #

            One must first wish to learn, though; most ersatz “haters”, in my experience, simply wish to vent. Quite often, they don’t even seem to care if they are consistent with other statements they have made in the same forums on previous days.

          • bitflipper
            September 12, 2017, 10:32 pm | #

            *”ersatz victims of ‘haters’ ”
            I thought I had typed that out completely; apparently my brain skipped ahead of my fingers.

  4. Jay
    April 19, 2017, 12:56 am | # | Reply

    Well, that makes “how is a raven like a writing-desk” a bit easier…

    • woozy
      April 19, 2017, 1:05 am | # | Reply

      We did mention the answer didn’t have to be correct. But it didn’t occur to me it could simply be … wrong. That makes it… difficult.

    • joycemelton
      April 19, 2017, 3:33 am | # | Reply

      Because they both have inky quills.

    • Merle
      April 19, 2017, 10:30 am | # | Reply

      Why is a raven like a writing-desk?

      Because this’d be a pretty poor riddle if it weren’t.

    • belboz
      April 19, 2017, 12:01 pm | # | Reply

      One of them is both the same

    • WarpZone
      April 19, 2017, 1:40 pm | # | Reply

      “They’re both words that appear in the riddle you just asked.”

  5. WuseMajor
    April 19, 2017, 12:57 am | # | Reply

    Nick, I think this will work better if you explain how it all worked in that movie, especially how they got past it.

  6. Bruce A Munro
    April 19, 2017, 1:07 am | # | Reply

    …how is it possible to win? After all, “screw your riddle, and screw you” is an answer to _any_ proposed riddle.

    • Smurfton
      April 19, 2017, 2:29 am | # | Reply

      Propose a riddle that doesn’t end, and others may pass, as an unending riddle cannot be answered. Also if you can prevent it from making sound.

    • Max
      April 19, 2017, 4:10 am | # | Reply

      Hmmm, I wonder if a paradox would work… or a nice, properly recursive question to hose the stack… you can’t answer when you’ve crashed, after all…

      • belboz
        April 19, 2017, 12:10 pm | # | Reply

        Nah. “Yes” is an answer to the riddle “Is the answer to this question ‘no’?” It’s not a correct answer, but it’s still an answer.

      • luciferlordofpride
        April 19, 2017, 2:12 pm | # | Reply

        Possibly, but we’d need to assume that the Antisphinx actually processes the questions fully before answering, and that it is not programmed to drop questions which generate infinite loops.

    • luciferlordofpride
      April 19, 2017, 2:11 pm | # | Reply

      You can’t win by playing the Antisphinx at its own game.

      Possible solutions:
      -Stuff sand in the Antisphinx’ eyes and keep walking
      -endlessly duplicate items until the server crashes
      -abuse console commands
      -feed it Godel’s variation on the liar paradox or some other statement meant to trigger an infinite loop (assuming the Antisphinx is coded to evaluate the question at all)

  7. Jon
    April 19, 2017, 1:14 am | # | Reply

    How about: “What is the Whimsy CEO’s master password?” If it doesn’t have access to that information, you win. If it *does* answer, you call HR and get it fired for breach of its confidentiality agreement.

    • woozy
      April 19, 2017, 1:21 am | # | Reply

      “Lobster” is an answer. And I don’t think HR would fire someone for it.

      • Jon
        April 20, 2017, 1:08 am | # | Reply

        Depends. How much does the CEO like lobster?

    • s854
      April 19, 2017, 3:34 am | # | Reply

      How would you fire landscape? I wonder how it would answer a question posed in a version of sign language (possibly a made up one).

      Really, though, I’d just move on. Challenging the sphinx didn’t work out so well for Oedipus, after all.

      • Towering Barbarian
        April 19, 2017, 9:46 pm | # | Reply

        Worked out fine for him. It was the sphinx who took it in the shorts. His problem came from being willing to marry older women. ^_^

        • Rick
          April 20, 2017, 12:46 am | # | Reply

          That and killing strangers that are mean to him that turn out to be his father in the end

  8. casimir
    April 19, 2017, 1:19 am | # | Reply

    The Baron had it right. It can’t answer when riddled with bullets… or some other substance.

  9. BrokenEye, the True False Prophet
    April 19, 2017, 1:31 am | # | Reply

    Now try mumbling. It can’t answer the riddle if it can’t understand it.

    • woozy
      April 19, 2017, 2:15 am | # | Reply

      Why not?

      • BrokenEye, the True False Prophet
        October 4, 2017, 3:43 am | # | Reply

        Hmmbrmnm mm phmnb

  10. codebracker
    April 19, 2017, 1:49 am | # | Reply

    The only solution I can hear is either gagging the sphinx or telling it a joke so twrrible it just groans

    • Shadowmehr
      April 19, 2017, 7:33 pm | # | Reply

      Fortunately, this is the right forum for the latter option.

      • s854
        April 20, 2017, 3:27 am | # | Reply

        Probably not the right forum for a joke so terrible that the sphinx keels over and dies, though. http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/06/21/episode-298-a-natural-response/

  11. Persona
    April 19, 2017, 1:53 am | # | Reply

    “three” is a reasonable solution to the riddle as well. It’s a word of letters (not terribly specific, there), and adding two gives “five” — fewer letters.

    • Matt
      April 19, 2017, 2:10 am | # | Reply

      Wow! I’ve not seen that variation to the answer before. It makes the riddle better, IMO, to have two possible answers

  12. woozy
    April 19, 2017, 2:20 am | # | Reply

    Ask it what one wears on one’s head? It always answers “hat” and it always answers wrong? I base that on a case study of one.

  13. Seph
    April 19, 2017, 5:27 am | # | Reply

    On the plus side, the Antisphinx’s laser eyes don’t appear to be deadly.

    • Danny in Canada
      April 19, 2017, 8:23 am | # | Reply

      it’s an antisphinx
      so its attack is antideadly

      • drachefly
        April 20, 2017, 6:06 pm | # | Reply

        Today we learned that ‘deadly’ is not a majorana particle.

  14. Kanta
    April 19, 2017, 5:34 am | # | Reply

    So you need somebody to dress up like a lady sphinx to distract it while you ask.

    • Chrisn
      April 19, 2017, 3:16 pm | # | Reply

      Where’s Bugs Bunny when you need him?

  15. Jim McGrath
    April 19, 2017, 6:26 am | # | Reply

    I’m pretty sure this storyline will have been plotted well in advance, but in an interesting twist of synchronicity* Gems of War has a new kingdom this week, and one of the quests in that is to discover a question that cannot be answered. Now I’l all impatient to see if Shaenon and Jeff’s answer (question?) is the same as the Gems of War one…

    *and as we know, synchronicity was the key to a puzzle in Narbonic, so…

  16. Robert Nowall
    April 19, 2017, 9:25 am | # | Reply

    “I weep for you,” the Walrus said:
    “I deeply sympathize.”
    With sobs and tears he sorted out
    Those of the largest size,
    Holding his pocket-handkerchief
    Before his streaming eyes.

    “O Oysters,” said the Carpenter,
    “You’ve had a pleasant run!
    Shall we be trotting home again?’
    But answer came there none–
    And this was scarcely odd, because
    They’d eaten every one.

    ******

    (By the way, looks like none of GoComics updated this morning. Odd, especially since I got today’s e-mail subscription.)

    • casimir
      April 19, 2017, 12:38 pm | # | Reply

      Are you implying that they should digitally eat the antisphinx?

      • Robert Nowall
        April 19, 2017, 1:48 pm | # | Reply

        Well, she’s not gonna let them stump her with a question, looks like…

  17. Dr. Steve
    April 19, 2017, 10:11 am | # | Reply

    To hat, or not to hat, that is the ZAP! Reminds me of a fussy DM from many decades ago.

  18. Shane
    April 19, 2017, 11:47 am | # | Reply

    As a being made of pure code and logic, I am sure the sheer stupidity of the rules of “any answer is technically an answer” hurts Lovelace more than the actual beam to the face.

  19. tuiteyfruity
    April 19, 2017, 11:53 am | # | Reply

    Oh they have to ask it a riddle/question the answer to which is a swear word

    • belboz
      April 19, 2017, 12:07 pm | # | Reply

      Even that wouldn’t work. It’d just answer “hello.” That would be the wrong answer, but it would still be an answer.

  20. Smithnik
    April 19, 2017, 12:53 pm | # | Reply

    But if the answer doesn’t have to be correct, then any riddle to which it is possible to make a verbal response lets the sphinx win. This puzzle is the verbal equivalent of the previous challenge, which means that they have to cheat.
    Even the Star Trek-ish solution of confusing the computer might not work, because if you asked it how many digits there are in Pi, it could answer “three,” because accuracy is not required.
    The only non-cheat riddle that works is one which requires the recipient not to answer at all.

  21. WarpZone
    April 19, 2017, 1:05 pm | # | Reply

    Sooooo…. Baron already won, right?

    He asked a question. We didn’t see an answer. He doesn’t look zapped.

    Your move, Writer.

    • Jeffrey C. Wells
      April 19, 2017, 2:29 pm | # | Reply

      Three words: McCloudian. Magic. Gutters.

    • DarkStarling
      April 19, 2017, 3:12 pm | # | Reply

      You said it: it was a question, not a riddle :p

  22. WarpZone
    April 19, 2017, 1:08 pm | # | Reply

    Alternatively: “What question would overflow your stack buffer and inject executable code deleting you from the game if you even considered answering it, correctly or incorrectly?”

  23. WarpZone
    April 19, 2017, 1:12 pm | # | Reply

    “This statement is false. Is my previous statement true?”

    He can’t answer the question if he never reaches the end of it.

  24. WarpZone
    April 19, 2017, 1:20 pm | # | Reply

    “Do you maybe wanna blow off this whole ‘guard the endgame’ thing and hang out with us for a while?”

    It’s Skin Horse. If the Sphynx is an AI, the correct answer is treating it with respect.

    If it’s just a dumb bit of video game code, then yeah. Endless loop. Sure hope it has its own thread in memory, or this could get bumpy!

  25. The One Guy
    April 19, 2017, 1:20 pm | # | Reply

    Someone tape its mouth shut!

  26. WarpZone
    April 19, 2017, 1:22 pm | # | Reply

    “Sudo let us pass.”

    Okay, I think I’m out of ideas.

  27. WarpZone
    April 19, 2017, 1:23 pm | # | Reply

    Oh! Shit. Okay. It’s classed as terrain. Plant a tree in its mouth!

  28. WarpZone
    April 19, 2017, 1:29 pm | # | Reply

    Or, um. Go… like… go around it. It’s landscape. It’s not gonna follow you. Just go around it.

  29. WarpZone
    April 19, 2017, 1:44 pm | # | Reply

    Unlock the house-customization feature. Complete the gardening mini-game. Acquire the ability to modify terrain. Replace the Antisphynx with a row of hedges.

    • Rick
      April 20, 2017, 12:56 am | # | Reply

      Or a shrubbery

  30. Forrest Davis
    April 19, 2017, 1:52 pm | # | Reply

    Oddly, I’m less focused on the technical complexities of the contest and more focused on how utterly cute Lovelace is in the second panel…

    • Towering Barbarian
      April 19, 2017, 3:14 pm | # | Reply

      That seems like a reasonable focus to me. ^_^

    • Jon
      April 20, 2017, 4:59 pm | # | Reply

      She’s just so pleased with herself!

  31. WarpZone
    April 19, 2017, 2:06 pm | # | Reply

    Convince a moderator that you were totally already past the Antisphynx, but then another player got you killed so you had to come all the way back through here and it’s just not faaaaaair can’t you TP me back to where I was and punish the other player?

    As usual, technological hacking is doing it the hard way. Use social hacking.

    That’s what I would say if the game had any moderators or other players at this phase of development.

  32. jennibrock
    April 19, 2017, 9:07 pm | # | Reply

    “What is NOT an answer to this riddle?”

    • Joal Heagney
      April 20, 2017, 2:52 am | # | Reply

      As others have pointed out, the true/falseness of the answer doesn’t matter. While it can give an incorrect answer, there’s also nothing stopping it from giving a correct answer either, just as long as it can answer. I’m fascinated about how they’re gonna get past this.

      • jennibrock
        April 20, 2017, 10:01 am | # | Reply

        That’s the thing – my question isn’t asking for a correct answer; it’s asking for something that isn’t an answer to it. There’s no way to reply to it that can be interpreted as answering it; whatever you say just goes into the set of things that are not answers to the riddle.

        • Joal Heagney
          October 4, 2017, 7:41 am | # | Reply

          Ah, I realised you were trying a Godel attack. I reply “Avocado”.
          Is this an answer to this riddle, or an answer to a different potential riddle? If it’s an answer to a different riddle, then it’s NOT an answer to this riddle and thus Statement = True.
          Which of course means that it’s an answer to this riddle and thus Statement = False.
          While this does mean that this loops back to Statement = True without explicit reference to other potential riddles, there’s nothing stopping the ass-phinx adding that reference back in. “It’s not an answer to this riddle, but it is an answer to another riddle.”)
          The true/falseness is thus indeterminant, but in both cases the “answer” property has been preserved.
          I’ve learnt that paradoxes don’t actually exist in the real world.
          Either there is a way to synthesise two apparently opposing systems of thought (e.g. quantum particle-wave duality) or an apparently paradoxical system was built up on another bootstrap system that has been removed and/or ignored. (“Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” The egg. Because the chicken’s ancestors all laid eggs before there were chickens.)

  33. Towering Barbarian
    April 19, 2017, 9:38 pm | # | Reply

    Oh sure, Nick! NOW you tell her! You need to work a bit harder then that if you want to be a useful maiden to your hero. 😛

  34. rylen
    April 19, 2017, 11:18 pm | # | Reply

    It was in a movie. I wonder what the canonical riddle was.

  35. Knuckles
    February 3, 2022, 11:38 am | # | Reply

    Aaah, so a sphinx that actually hates riddles. *Very* antisphinx.

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