Skin Horse

By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
Color by Pancha Diaz
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2013-04-02
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2013-04-02

by shaenon on April 2, 2013 at 12:00 am
Chapter: My House Is Me
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Discussion (37) ¬

  1. Norman
    April 2, 2013, 12:21 am | # | Reply

    Nah, that just means he realizes that mentioning Violet’s boobs will folk up the whole deal.

  2. Dave Van Domelen
    April 2, 2013, 12:35 am | # | Reply

    Nah, he’s already seen ’em. No foraging nipples.

    • abb3w
      April 2, 2013, 12:39 am | # | Reply

      The lack of nipples is likely to reduce the titillation value.

      • Kirt Dankmyer
        April 2, 2013, 12:22 pm | # | Reply

        I was about to say: “Joke’s on you, Unity. He’s already ‘seen’ them and he knows they’re not that interesting.”

  3. Tuiteyfruity
    April 2, 2013, 12:42 am | # | Reply

    I think he really wants to be able to go around in a human form, he now has friends and he wants to be able to hang out with them, go to the movies, maybe a convention or two! Even if he identifies as a helicopter, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to go to a comic/game/fan convention.

    Of course, either he has other plans as well or things goes wrong. most likely both!

  4. Saberbeam
    April 2, 2013, 1:01 am | # | Reply

    So I meant to post this filk in a strip featuring the brainmaking machine, but now the train part of the plot seems to be over. Just post it here I suppose. I ended up rearranging the order of the verses a little.

    To the tune of “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” by the Beatles

    Down in Saint Charlie, our dear Miss Virginia Lee
    Needs to make some brains
    To feed all the rampaging zombies
    Oh, oh, oh, oh

    Her pal Sergio, says that he will have to go
    Stop them getting through
    And just maybe grab her a sandwich, too-oo-oo-oo

    But as he opens up with Alice,
    A noise comes from behind

    (Chorus)

    plip, plip
    Lots of fresh brain matter falls down onto the floor
    plip, plip
    Doc Lee’s brain machine makes more, more and more

    Now the Skin Horse team fights their way past every scheme
    GODOT can concoct
    Crocs and radiooooactive poison
    Oh, oh, oh, oh

    And so Unity, shows just how smart she can be
    By helping GODOT
    Says “My acronym should be written so-oh-oh-oh”

    But with some pencils jammed up her ears
    She won’t hear lunch galore

    (Repeat chorus)

    All is quite again. Unity ate the client again
    Sweetheart is annoyed
    Wishing she’d avoid such unpleasantrie-ie-ie-ies

    Unity has to say,
    As Tip mourns for his beret,
    That Sweetheart ought to know
    It’s just how she respects her fallen fo-oh-oh-oh-oes

    But as the crew prepares to dust off
    A noise continues on

    (Repeat chorus and synth solo)

    Lots of brain matter!

    plip, plip

    • Manifesta
      April 2, 2013, 1:56 am | # | Reply

      This filk was well worth waiting for, as it actually improves upon the original lyrics, which may have been the nadir of Paul McCartney’s creative oeuvre.

    • Daibhid C
      April 2, 2013, 8:18 am | # | Reply

      Bravo!

  5. Zap Rowsdower
    April 2, 2013, 1:30 am | # | Reply

    What boobs? Aren’t those gyroscopic stablizers?

    • The Other Mike
      February 19, 2017, 7:06 am | # | Reply

      No, they’re etheric beam locators!

  6. Forzin
    April 2, 2013, 1:54 am | # | Reply

    I wonder if Dr Lee would be capable of making him a new body using Violet’s Tech? Or at least repurposing Violet to better reflect Nick’s self-image.

    • JET73L
      March 1, 2015, 6:09 pm | # | Reply

      D’you mean the Nick Shaenon loves to draw, or the Nick with rotors? Because she already made a body for Nick that fits his current, helicoptery self-image ;p

      • WJS
        July 8, 2019, 11:16 am | # | Reply

        Him identifying as an aircraft was as a result of him being turned into one though, it’s not like he always wanted to be a helicopter and they granted his wish. If anything, it just shows his body-image to be highly flexible. I doubt he’d have any trouble going back to being human.

  7. Manifesta
    April 2, 2013, 2:04 am | # | Reply

    I’m not familiar with The Big Orange Splot, but “My house is me” must have come from Shaenon, the Daniel Pinkwater fanatic.

  8. Dave Van Domelen
    April 2, 2013, 2:11 am | # | Reply

    On the other rotor, if Nick does this, Ultra Car will accuse him of ripping off UC’s idea.

    • Kirt Dankmyer
      April 2, 2013, 12:23 pm | # | Reply

      As long as Violet doesn’t have built-in pie launchers, it should be OK.

  9. Anderson
    April 2, 2013, 2:19 am | # | Reply

    It’s even more serious. He didn’t make a comeback at Unity for her last line….

  10. --jt--
    April 2, 2013, 3:19 am | # | Reply

    Unity still sounds a little brainy to me. I’d expect her to say “boobies” instead.

    • Manifesta
      April 2, 2013, 3:49 am | # | Reply

      Unity’s now at a level of brainy where she can write for the Huffington Post.

      • VonZorch
        April 2, 2013, 10:11 am | # | Reply

        I disagree, Unity is actually making sense.

    • jdreyfuss
      April 2, 2013, 6:56 am | # | Reply

      Intelligence has nothing to do with whether or not you say “boobies.” It my be even worse than we feared. Unity may be . . . maturing.

      • Kirt Dankmyer
        April 2, 2013, 12:24 pm | # | Reply

        This is a scary concept. I hope you’re right. 🙂

      • Smithnik
        April 2, 2013, 2:17 pm | # | Reply

        You mean our dear little zombie is going to be all grown up soon? Awww…
        Seriously, I’ve been wondering if her brain overdose might have long term effects. It could be interesting if she had flashbacks of smartness, or occasional outbursts of being erudite.
        I think Nick is lonely, even by his geek gamer standards. He could have just watched the Star Trek episodes on Hulu, but the experience is different if you’re surrounded by other fans.

  11. Eddurd
    April 2, 2013, 6:37 am | # | Reply

    (TUNE: “I’ve Got Sixpence”, traditional)

    Nick makes good sense!
    Unexpected good sense!
    Nick makes good sense
    To be inside the droid!
    He gives reasons he should;
    His reasons are good,
    They’re reasons that Sweetheart can’t avoid, a-void!

    With the field team he can de-fend!
    And renegade machines he can be-friend!
    And then he’ll go and spend the wee-eek-end
    And watch a Star Trek marathon!

    Marathon … marathon …
    Kirk and Spock and McCoy, on and on, on, on, on!
    Driving Violet Bee,
    He’ll go out with Doctor Lee!
    But will he try to get it on?

  12. Robert The Addled
    April 2, 2013, 8:16 am | # | Reply

    I think he’ll develop/train the one-mind two bodies thing a-la Paratwa (obscure SF trilogy w/ clones w/ quantum entangled brains)

    • Glenn
      April 3, 2013, 3:27 pm | # | Reply

      Not THAT obscure, was it? I mean, yes, it was really annoying to have to wait for all those books after the first but wasn’t that long ago was…oh, wow. Yes, it was.

  13. Midwestmutt
    April 2, 2013, 12:17 pm | # | Reply

    Dr. Lee should change the appearance of the stolen avatar for her own protection from A-sig. It can’t look too much like Nick either since he is officially dead. Whether he might also have gender identity issues I can’t say as a fanatic gamer may not be too concerned about that and may see advantage to the disguise.

    • Shadowmehr
      April 2, 2013, 7:08 pm | # | Reply

      You mean have Tip give the V-Bee droid a makeover?

      I can hear the squeeing from his direction already.

  14. drbrain
    April 2, 2013, 12:27 pm | # | Reply

    remember that violet’s last driver failed to seduce dr lee. but with nick in there i’d give him at least a snowflake’s chance 🙂

  15. Pigtail Guy
    April 2, 2013, 3:33 pm | # | Reply

    Since Nick identifies as a helicopter, there may be a quick fix to some of the more pronounced discomfort incurred by controlling a humanoid body again: Have the drone wear one of those cute caps with a small propeller on top! \o/
    Even better, wire it with a small electric motor and hook it up to the drone so that Nick can control the propeller as well. It may not be ideal, but it should help him feel a bit more at home.

    • bigbearseviltwin
      April 2, 2013, 11:33 pm | # | Reply

      how about a pilots uniform with a hurmongous set of wings either on the front or on the hat. He can just set it at the controls with a pleasant blank expression like the auto pilot in Airplane

    • WJS
      July 8, 2019, 11:18 am | # | Reply

      He identifies as a helicopter because that’s what body he was put in. That just shows he’s flexible. I don’t think he’ll have any trouble adapting to being human again.

  16. hilljohnny
    April 8, 2013, 5:10 pm | # | Reply

    ummm, stick on nipples anybody?

    • Storel
      November 10, 2017, 3:07 am | # | Reply

      Do they make Lee Press-On Nipples?

  17. SotiCoto
    August 21, 2014, 9:41 am | # | Reply

    Why does it feel like I’ve heard this plot before?

    Oh yeah… Mass Effect 3.
    Hostile gynoid chassis salvaged following destructive event. Vehicular intelligence takes interest in the chassis and requisitions it so as to be more involved in ground operations.

    • Brian R Whitacre
      September 22, 2018, 5:17 pm | # | Reply

      Oh boy! By this point in my re-read, I was starting to think that you had gone away, and that I wouldn’t get to look forward to reading your putdowns of a comic that for some reason you still read, even though you don’t seem to enjoy it.

      • maarvarq
        January 3, 2021, 3:06 am | # | Reply

        Except that somehow, their grumpy posts all went up on the same day, i.e. August 21, 2014.

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