Skin Horse

By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
Color by Pancha Diaz
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2017-07-03
‹‹ First ‹ Prev Buy! Comments(32) Next › Last ››

2017-07-03

by shaenon on July 3, 2017 at 12:01 am
Chapter: Sure as You're Born
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Discussion (32) ¬

  1. Grim
    July 3, 2017, 12:27 am | # | Reply

    Scritchies are nice.

    • OneUniverse
      July 3, 2017, 12:50 pm | # | Reply

      I could use some.

  2. Robert Nowall
    July 3, 2017, 12:39 am | # | Reply

    Is he that tasty?

    • OneUniverse
      July 3, 2017, 12:50 pm | # | Reply

      Let’s find out.

    • Sheik
      July 3, 2017, 3:06 pm | # | Reply

      Depends entirely on his diet. If he rummages through the garbage forget it.
      Simply the smell of cooking him will evacuate three counties.

  3. Bruce A Munro
    July 3, 2017, 12:42 am | # | Reply

    Wait, shouldn’t that be “how many try to hunt me” or “how many try to shoot me?” People hunting possums usually don’t shout “I’m gonna put you in mah belly!” Fat bastard style. Or is this a very odd form of reality blindness?

    • Frank
      July 3, 2017, 10:42 am | # | Reply

      given that so far the only possum dishes I know are from The Beverly Hillbillies, I’d say they could be shouting quite a lot of things

      • Bruce A Munro
        July 3, 2017, 5:51 pm | # | Reply

        In Vermont they call them Mountain Men: I dunno whether they are as loudly opinionated as the more southern varieties, let alone the Beverly Hills sub-type.

    • awgiedawgie
      July 4, 2017, 3:11 am | # | Reply

      Around here, possum are just a nuisance animal. Once every few years, we get one that ventures up on the porch, and we’ve ended up needing to kill a couple of them to protect our pets. Mostly we just leave them be, since they help keep the rodent and insect populations down. There are some areas in the South where they eat A LOT of possum.

      I’ve met a few people who actually talk to the animals they’re hunting and tell them that they’re going to be their dinner – as if knowing you’re going to become someone’s next meal is supposed to assuage any regrets you may have about being shot.

  4. theysabet
    July 3, 2017, 1:01 am | # | Reply

    Urgh; possum is VERY, VERY high in saturated fats.

    • BRGR
      July 3, 2017, 12:37 pm | # | Reply

      It must be unhealthy, being a possum.

  5. maarvarq
    July 3, 2017, 1:44 am | # | Reply

    I’d certainly want to give Sweetheart scritchies.

  6. Eddurd
    July 3, 2017, 1:46 am | # | Reply

    (TUNE: “Everything Is Awesome”, Shawn Patterson, Jo Li, & The

    Lonely Island)

    Let’s all eat opossum!
    With his little lab coat and nearsighted eyes,
    Let’s all eat opossum!
    And we’ll serve him with some fries!

    In my sights, the blighter’s right there in my cross-hairs!
    All I hear is his fear, I wouldn’t want to be him!
    Let’s now fricassee him!
    And my brain won’t retain what I see,
    ‘Cause I’m blind to re-al-i-ty …

    Let’s all eat opossum!
    First we gotta shoot him, make sure that he died,
    Then we’ll eat opossum
    With a salad on the side!

    • Robert Nowall
      July 3, 2017, 2:13 am | # | Reply

      Good. It’s more contemporary than my usual picks. And it saves me the trouble of posting later in the morning—maybe Tuesday, what with my disordered schedule of late.

      • Cloudster
        July 3, 2017, 11:26 am | # | Reply

        Wait a minute. You just retired and you still have a schedule? Step 1 is supposed to be Throw Out All Alarm Clocks, or in our age, Disable All Wakeup Alarms.

        • Robert Nowall
          July 3, 2017, 1:10 pm | # | Reply

          More what I have to do tending to my mother. Last night it was her air conditioner—that’s why I was still up in the wee hours of the morning. (Though I would have been if I were still working.)

    • Manifesta
      July 3, 2017, 12:46 pm | # | Reply

      Well, that will be in my head all day! Love the song, love the filk.

    • mickeyjf
      July 3, 2017, 1:01 pm | # | Reply

      If Pogo was alive today he’d roll over in his grave.

      • Andy4Hire
        July 3, 2017, 7:20 pm | # | Reply

        I’m oddly comforted to know I’m not the only person who makes “If X were alive today he’d roll over in his grave” jokes.

    • Andy4Hire
      July 3, 2017, 7:18 pm | # | Reply

      Well done as usual, Eddurd!

      It’s pleasantly invigorating to read your filks. We miss you when you’re not here.

  7. Towering Barbarian
    July 3, 2017, 2:17 am | # | Reply

    Mind you, Sweetheart is letting her prejudices show here since it is quite possible that after enough weirdness people, particularly those in superhero universes, simply take anything new in stride without being surprised. Largo comes to mind here as an example of this. Even without bh33r he’d probably take a “Everything is normal” approach to talking possums. ^_^

    • Towering Barbarian
      July 3, 2017, 2:22 am | # | Reply

      And since this policeman has clearly talked to possums before this fable comes to mind.

      http://www.mythfolklore.net/aesopica/perry/10.htm

      The surprise would be if he *was* still fazed by talking possums. @_@

  8. Steve
    July 3, 2017, 6:02 am | # | Reply

    I wanna know how the possum’s glasses are staying on.

    • Moe Lane
      July 3, 2017, 7:19 am | # | Reply

      “Special shoes.”

    • casimir
      July 3, 2017, 11:10 am | # | Reply

      Prehensile temples.

    • Chrisn
      July 3, 2017, 12:13 pm | # | Reply

      Nah. Just superglue.

    • Robert Nowall
      July 3, 2017, 1:14 pm | # | Reply

      Borrowed ’em from Leo.

    • Bruce A Munro
      July 3, 2017, 5:44 pm | # | Reply

      Trained fleas.

  9. Robert Nowall
    July 3, 2017, 1:14 pm | # | Reply

    Appropos of this:

    “Hamster, hamster by candle light.
    Do it in a casserole is doing it right.
    When they’re in season, they’re pretty pleasin’.
    Hamster sandwich, hamster and cheese.
    Hamster sandwiches with mayoneeze,
    are delicious, and so nutritious.

    You can dice, you can slice and fillet them.
    Cut off their heads and sauté them.
    And into the oven you shove,
    smells like hamster love.”

    —not me, somebody else, but performed by Big Daddy. In fact…

    • Shadowmehr
      July 3, 2017, 7:49 pm | # | Reply

      This is deranged, depraved, and downright demented and disturbing. I love it. I may make it my ringtone.

    • Efogoto
      July 3, 2017, 7:57 pm | # | Reply

      I loved the Bog Daddy Sgt. Pepper’s! Thanks for the reminder. Their Chantmania was also a gem.

      • Robert Nowall
        July 4, 2017, 10:12 am | # | Reply

        Don’t forget to check out their last album, “Smashing Songs of Stage and Screen.”

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