Our CEO, who art in Orlando
Marketable be thy name
Thy strategy come, thy will be done
In our outlets as it is at our headquarters
Give us this day our daily funding
And refund us our setbacks
As we refund our customers
And lead us not into scandal
But deliver us from bankruptcy
For thine is the themepark, and the notoriety, and the funding forever
Amen.
Hey Martha! Why is that punk smashing all our pots? And how did he get in the house anyways?
Who cares? Those are the bad pots I’ve been meaning to get rid of. The one little Jimmy tried to glue back together but leaks, the one you brother borrowed but cracked, the one the dog whizzed in, and then the one you threw up in and then the dog whizzed in.
Ohh, such a service. Lets give him some gold, or just direct him to the cave with all the monsters nearby.
(TUNE: “Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite”, The Beatles)
For the benefit of Princess Nick,
There’s arrows pointing to a flick
Upon the wall!
With celluloid upon a reel,
A Whimsy Princess just might feel
A mental call!
It ain’t subtle, but I’ll bet I’ll find
A clue to what Collodi left behind …
Where the heck’s the darn projector for the film?!
A flim there in the Vault Archive
Of millimeters thirty-five
From days of old!
What secrets will the film reveal?
Will Cunningham and Nick soon feel
A shiver cold?
Now they’re hoping they will soon find out
What WhimsyCorp’s attack is all about!
Nick must save the day so he can hate them more!
I hope that isn’t a reel of safety film that’s been ruined by vinegar syndrome. Or worse, a reel of nitrate film that’s about to spontaneously combust (they used to make movie film out of the same stuff they used to make smokeless gunpowder!).
Of course that’s not as bad as it sounds; gunpowder is highly flammable but doesn’t actually explode unless you pack it in a confined space. Out in the open like that it would just burn.
Actually, it is as bad as it sounds. Old films could degrade to the point where they were still stable enough while sealed inside their cans, but as soon as they were exposed to a source of oxygen, they would ignite so fast it essentially was an explosion.
Being sealed in that room for decades, the air would be quite stale and oxygen-poor. As soon as the doors were opened and fresh air was introduced, it could have been disastrous.
There are times when a subtle puzzle works well guiding our heroes to the right conclusion while misguiding those who would waylay them from their quest.
But there is something to the mallet-to-the-face approach as well.
Our CEO, who art in Orlando
Marketable be thy name
Thy strategy come, thy will be done
In our outlets as it is at our headquarters
Give us this day our daily funding
And refund us our setbacks
As we refund our customers
And lead us not into scandal
But deliver us from bankruptcy
For thine is the themepark, and the notoriety, and the funding forever
Amen.
Win. Terrible terrible win.
Very well done, sir.
[hands Daniel a lightning rod]
Nice job! (I’d avoid thunderstorms for a while, though.)
Very well done.
*Steps away slowly…*
But I like smashing all the pots…! Maybe I wouldn’t make a very good princess. 🙁
Hey Martha! Why is that punk smashing all our pots? And how did he get in the house anyways?
Who cares? Those are the bad pots I’ve been meaning to get rid of. The one little Jimmy tried to glue back together but leaks, the one you brother borrowed but cracked, the one the dog whizzed in, and then the one you threw up in and then the dog whizzed in.
Ohh, such a service. Lets give him some gold, or just direct him to the cave with all the monsters nearby.
So, Nick’s at least trying to be Right Genre Savvy… we’ll see how that works out.
The problem with being grenre savvy is figuring out the correct genre you are currently in. It’s not always as it appears.
That comment brings me fond memories of the “belt of genre changing” from another webcomic…
(TUNE: “Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite”, The Beatles)
For the benefit of Princess Nick,
There’s arrows pointing to a flick
Upon the wall!
With celluloid upon a reel,
A Whimsy Princess just might feel
A mental call!
It ain’t subtle, but I’ll bet I’ll find
A clue to what Collodi left behind …
Where the heck’s the darn projector for the film?!
A flim there in the Vault Archive
Of millimeters thirty-five
From days of old!
What secrets will the film reveal?
Will Cunningham and Nick soon feel
A shiver cold?
Now they’re hoping they will soon find out
What WhimsyCorp’s attack is all about!
Nick must save the day so he can hate them more!
The above brought to you by:
Sarge and Jeffrey’s Skin Horse Filk Club Man.
And of course, Whennie the Horse emits ten thousand volts!
I hope that isn’t a reel of safety film that’s been ruined by vinegar syndrome. Or worse, a reel of nitrate film that’s about to spontaneously combust (they used to make movie film out of the same stuff they used to make smokeless gunpowder!).
Of course that’s not as bad as it sounds; gunpowder is highly flammable but doesn’t actually explode unless you pack it in a confined space. Out in the open like that it would just burn.
Actually, it is as bad as it sounds. Old films could degrade to the point where they were still stable enough while sealed inside their cans, but as soon as they were exposed to a source of oxygen, they would ignite so fast it essentially was an explosion.
Being sealed in that room for decades, the air would be quite stale and oxygen-poor. As soon as the doors were opened and fresh air was introduced, it could have been disastrous.
There are times when a subtle puzzle works well guiding our heroes to the right conclusion while misguiding those who would waylay them from their quest.
But there is something to the mallet-to-the-face approach as well.
Aw so Nick doesnt like Link? I love smashing pots in people’s houses looking for rupees and items.
Well Nick clearly *does* love Link, but he’s saying this *isn’t* like some video game, so Link’s rules don’t apply here.