Skin Horse

By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
Color by Pancha Diaz
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2015-07-01
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2015-07-01

by shaenon on July 1, 2015 at 12:01 am
Chapter: Looking Glass Land
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Discussion (36) ¬

  1. Frank
    July 1, 2015, 1:25 am | # | Reply

    I thought dogs couldn’t taste SUGAR

    • heckblazer
      July 1, 2015, 1:33 am | # | Reply

      Dogs can taste sweet. Cats, however, cannot.

      • theysabet
        July 1, 2015, 1:58 am | # | Reply

        Also untrue, actually– a portion of the population can, though not the majority. It seems to be genetic in much the same way that some react to catnip and some do not.

        • Miyaa
          July 1, 2015, 9:03 am | # | Reply

          Wait, some cats can’t get high from catnip?!

          • GDwarf
            July 1, 2015, 9:21 am | #

            Mine doesn’t. Now, whether that’s because she lived most of her life in a pet store (and so has built up a large tolerance), because she’s big (20lbs), or due to genetics (or perhaps a combination) I don’t know.

      • Candace
        July 2, 2015, 12:49 am | # | Reply

        Yeah, my dog has a sweet tooth like you wouldn’t believe. I have also had two different cats who like pancake syrup. Also sweet potato.

      • Kitirena
        September 9, 2016, 12:10 am | # | Reply

        Speak for yourself, two-legs. We can taste sugar and sweet. We just prefer savory, nyao.

        Now if only I could find mouse flavor…

      • HT
        February 24, 2022, 2:31 pm | # | Reply

        No, dogs taste pretty gamy. Humans, on the other hand…

  2. B
    July 1, 2015, 1:36 am | # | Reply

    Trial by media is actually a scary power against a small or new agency or company involved in something controversial.
    What constitutes as a compassionate bathroom?

    • Frank
      July 1, 2015, 1:43 am | # | Reply

      I’m guessing whether the evaluator can use them. Are your sinks too far up? Do your toilet seats lack big enough tail holes? UNCOMPASSIONATEDIEINHELL!

      • oakandsage
        July 1, 2015, 4:20 am | # | Reply

        That would be a fairly rational assumption, but it’s also not out of the realm of possibility that the hand blowers could need a lesson in organic relations.

    • Eddurd
      July 1, 2015, 10:28 am | # | Reply

      Compassionate bathroom?? Are they taking the p*ss?

  3. Robert Nowall
    July 1, 2015, 2:22 am | # | Reply

    If it’s an older building in the DC area there might be two sets of bathrooms…

  4. BarGamer
    July 1, 2015, 4:29 am | # | Reply

    Dammit, now I’m trying to come up with a bad filk of that Maroon 5 song.

  5. Persona
    July 1, 2015, 7:18 am | # | Reply

    I am now wondering how Sweetheart got that donut in her mouth.

    • Moe Lane
      July 1, 2015, 7:38 am | # | Reply

      Intern.

    • Robert Nowall
      July 1, 2015, 8:11 am | # | Reply

      She didn’t offer H. T. any, though.

      • Moe Lane
        July 1, 2015, 11:12 pm | # | Reply

        She’s a government bureaucrat on her first day running an agency with ill-defined duties and oversight, and he’s a lobbyist for a shadowy new Super PAC with unspoken goals and a keen interest in in-your-face advocacy. Every word spoken here will eventually end up being reviewed by a Select House Investigation Committee, probably under oath. I would have counseled Sweetheart to not even SHOW H.T. the donuts.

    • Candace
      July 2, 2015, 12:52 am | # | Reply

      I expect she picked it up in her teeth, same way as normal dogs pick up things.

  6. Cyclopean Horror
    July 1, 2015, 8:39 am | # | Reply

    When did Sweetheart grow a goatee?

    • Candace
      July 2, 2015, 12:54 am | # | Reply

      Heh. I thought that at first, too. I think that’s supposed to be a strawberry-glazed doughnut.

  7. BMunro
    July 1, 2015, 9:57 am | # | Reply

    …I question the purity of their motivations.

  8. theelusivefish
    July 1, 2015, 10:15 am | # | Reply

    Look – if you were a sentient bathroom, do you think you would have a lot of compassion? I would think not.

  9. Eddurd
    July 1, 2015, 10:26 am | # | Reply

    (TUNE: “Sugar, Sugar”, The Archies)

    SUGAR …
    PAC money, sonny!
    Better take care, ’cause we
    Want ac-count-a-bil-i-ty …

    Money
    For SUGAR, sugar!
    We are just H.T.’s pawns …
    Let us now assess your johns!

    Skin Horse must be more compassionate and humbler now …
    (Skin Horse must be humbler now …)
    If you don’t comply, we’re going straight to Tumblr now!
    (Going straight to Tumblr now …)
    Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!

    SUGAR’s gonna make a little audit!
    SUGAR’s making trouble and you caught it!
    (We’ve got a sobriquet so sweet … yeah yeah yeah!)
    Don’t try to snow H.T. because he knows all!
    We’ve got a lot of force at our disposal!
    (We’re gonna send a nasty Tweet! Yeah yeah yeah!)
    Go on, have a donut, SUGAR bought it!

    Oh, SUGAR!
    PAC money, sonny …
    (la la la la la la … la la la la la la …)

    • daibhidc
      July 1, 2015, 10:39 am | # | Reply

      Applause!

  10. daibhidc
    July 1, 2015, 10:35 am | # | Reply

    Tune: Leader of the Pack, Shangri-Las

    (Did she really go out with the tiger before he was arrested?
    (There she is, let’s ask her.)
    (You ask her; I’ve heard she bites!)

    I met him at the Maragda,
    He turned around and smiled at me, get the picture?
    (Yes, we see.)
    That’s when I learned that,
    The tiger runs a PAC.

    It was a while since we took him down,
    (Down, down, down,)
    WIth the help of Artie in Ohio town.
    (With the help of a gerbil they took him down.)
    We all knew that he was bad.
    Even for products of science mad,
    Now he’s in my office,
    The tiger runs a PAC.

    It was so great making them all wear suits,
    Even dealing with Dr E from the Institute.
    (She was dealing with Dr E from the Institute).
    That woman makes me want to cry,
    But I kept her out of HT’s eye,
    You still shouldn’t eat her,
    The tiger runs a PAC.

    He sort of smiled, at least bared his teeth,
    His hunger was starting to show,
    As he described the power he held,
    With his new NGO.
    What he might do, I didn’t know,

    Watch out! Watch out!

    I felt so helpless, what could I do?
    They could post on Tumblr, and Facebook too.
    H.T. sees us all as meat,
    But his opinions get a retweet,
    I know we can’t trust him,
    The tiger runs a PAC.

    • Tom Flapwell
      July 1, 2015, 1:23 pm | # | Reply

      I hear a tiger growl in place of a revving motorcycle.

    • Miyaa
      July 1, 2015, 2:23 pm | # | Reply

      You beat out Ed for best filk of the day by a packet of nutrasweet™. Well funded!

  11. =Tamar
    July 1, 2015, 11:39 am | # | Reply

    S.U.G.A.R. better watch out… Sweetheart eats sugar for breakfast.

  12. chrisn
    July 1, 2015, 12:42 pm | # | Reply

    A powerful PAC representing a (fairly) small portion of the population. A PAC which can receive unlimited funding from secret sources. Wow, HT really IS evil.

    • BMunro
      July 1, 2015, 10:42 pm | # | Reply

      Go to Tumblr? That seems a risky move: isn’t Skin Horse a secret agency now affiliated with A-Sig, which probably is Secret Ruler of the Interwebs and is notoriously quick to rub people out?

      Perhaps it’s a separate for non-humans Tumblr?

      • David DeLaney
        September 9, 2015, 10:56 pm | # | Reply

        Rumblr, of course.

        –Dave, don’t ask don’t squeal

  13. soft
    July 1, 2015, 6:17 pm | # | Reply

    So, I have to say… I’m really liking Tip’s outfit. I’m jealous of him being able to find gloves that stay up one the arms, though….

    • soft
      July 1, 2015, 6:21 pm | # | Reply

      Typo fail… *on* the arms

  14. Shadowmehr
    July 1, 2015, 7:11 pm | # | Reply

    Well, Tip got the lady (and fox) and Sweetheart got the tiger.

    Why do I get the feeling the truth is actually the reverse?

  15. Kitirena
    September 9, 2016, 12:13 am | # | Reply

    @Miyaa–Yes, some cats are immune to catnip. It’s a genetic thing, just like how Ozzy Osbourne has a literally superhuman tolerance to drugs.

    Sometimes I wish I were one of those cats… It’s so embarrassing having to explain why my roommate’s finch population went down by a third after the occasional catnip binge, nyao…

    What? Don’t you get the munchies after…? {blush} Err, never mind…

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