Reactor Victor has, I think, been licked!
Now it’s time to make GODOT go down!
Someone’s birthday cake is causing pain!
How it makes its victims scream-y
‘Cause the frosting is so creamy!
And they’re using too much coconut again,
No doubt!
considering I can think of several ways to kill with birthday cake – I am not reassured.
Methodology ranges from: Poison (includes lacing the cake w/ allergens if they had say – a major shellfish allergy), Bombing (in the cake), Suffication (holding their face embedded in the cake), induced choking hazard (something in the cake), Electrocution (wires embedded in the cake to make contact while cutting the cake), immolation (flammible frosting and a magnesium rigged candle).
And note than none of that is even the extremely exotic real world stuff – A few years ago there was a russian politician poisoned w/ dioxin. Another diplomat w/ a radiosotope (polonium). East German secret police used to dust the ground w/ radiosotopes and follow the radioactive footprints of suspects.
Well, of course everything is trying to kill you, it’s a given. There is, for example, a substance that’s been slowly killing you since you were born: Oxygen.
I love it when the dihydrogen monoxide stories make the news. I recall something about 5 years or so ago about a town passing a law banning it within city limits – THEN they were let in on the joke just before it went into effect – but AFTER then news got ahold of the story.
The scariest part of those stories is the fact that many of the legislators who make such blatant gaffes are usually the sort who feel that science is “Satanic” because it contradicts their precious Bible.
“God, we’re a gullible breed.” –Agent K, Men In Black
Ah yes, but how many of those still work if it’s already been sliced? The bombe surprise might be a classic recipe, but it does become rather obvious when cut open.
Or, of course, there’s Douglas Adams’s mindbreaker, the Total Perspective Vortex. Granted, it’s traditionally done with a piece of fairy cake, but I’m sure birthday cake would suffice.
These are mad scientists, remember. They wouldn’t use the normal methods for killing people with cake. They would use quantum analysis on a slice of cake to determine the placement, social and economic histories of all the planets in the universe, and then download that information directly into the minds of their victims, causing their minds and souls to implode from the precise knowledge of how insignifigant they are.
Thats precisely why I am not reassured. If I (of dubious madness and decidedly NOT genius) can think of several EASY methods – I will never look at a birthday cake the same way again.
If I recall correctly, it was to symbolize the entirety of the universe as a whole. Been a while since I last read those novels, though.
As an aside, when I first got myself a Kindle, I immediately bought a case for it and put “Don’t Panic” on the cover in stick-on letters. Some people have even got the joke! ^_^
“Elaine, do you know what happens to buttercream frosting that’s been sitting in a poorly ventilated British basement for 50 years? Well, I suspect that what you’re about to go through is punishment enough . . .”
Poor Marcie. I want to eat that cake out of her hair, but if the frosting is creamy from dairy it would wreak havoc on my insides. …Also, Chris would probably not appreciate me pulling a FiM-Pinkie Pie on his girlfriend, depending on when that flashback takes place.
(Aside from the “orally cleaning food off of an attractive person” aspect, I also love coconut and maraschino cherries… though I believe I have yet to try them together.)
Try chocolate syrup and maraschino cherries. VERY tasty. (Just be sure to put a towel under your significant other beforehand, because chocolate syrup can stain sheets.)
Um, Past Me, I don’t think that’s Marcie, and since Ruby’s there, it’s definitely not a flashback. I can totally see why you we- er, why I was mistaken, though. The cake between the icing and the St. Charliean’s actual hair does look kind of like Marcie’s pre-makeover hair.
Darkstarr, thanks for the suggestion. Maybe I’ll try it someday.
And lactose intolerant too. Curse my Asian genes!
(TUNE: “MacArthur Park”, Jimmy Webb)
Reactor Victor has, I think, been licked!
Now it’s time to make GODOT go down!
Someone’s birthday cake is causing pain!
How it makes its victims scream-y
‘Cause the frosting is so creamy!
And they’re using too much coconut again,
No doubt!
Finally, that song makes sense.
considering I can think of several ways to kill with birthday cake – I am not reassured.
Methodology ranges from: Poison (includes lacing the cake w/ allergens if they had say – a major shellfish allergy), Bombing (in the cake), Suffication (holding their face embedded in the cake), induced choking hazard (something in the cake), Electrocution (wires embedded in the cake to make contact while cutting the cake), immolation (flammible frosting and a magnesium rigged candle).
And note than none of that is even the extremely exotic real world stuff – A few years ago there was a russian politician poisoned w/ dioxin. Another diplomat w/ a radiosotope (polonium). East German secret police used to dust the ground w/ radiosotopes and follow the radioactive footprints of suspects.
And yes children – Your fruits and veggies are trying to kill you: http://www.futurity.org/science-technology/a-dash-of-cyanide-with-those-beans/
Well, of course everything is trying to kill you, it’s a given. There is, for example, a substance that’s been slowly killing you since you were born: Oxygen.
And let us never forget the toxic properties of Dihydrogen monoxide!
http://www.dhmo.org
I love it when the dihydrogen monoxide stories make the news. I recall something about 5 years or so ago about a town passing a law banning it within city limits – THEN they were let in on the joke just before it went into effect – but AFTER then news got ahold of the story.
They got a member of the New Zealand parliament fooled at one point. That was a good day.
The scariest part of those stories is the fact that many of the legislators who make such blatant gaffes are usually the sort who feel that science is “Satanic” because it contradicts their precious Bible.
“God, we’re a gullible breed.” –Agent K, Men In Black
Ah yes, but how many of those still work if it’s already been sliced? The bombe surprise might be a classic recipe, but it does become rather obvious when cut open.
Or, of course, there’s Douglas Adams’s mindbreaker, the Total Perspective Vortex. Granted, it’s traditionally done with a piece of fairy cake, but I’m sure birthday cake would suffice.
These are mad scientists, remember. They wouldn’t use the normal methods for killing people with cake. They would use quantum analysis on a slice of cake to determine the placement, social and economic histories of all the planets in the universe, and then download that information directly into the minds of their victims, causing their minds and souls to implode from the precise knowledge of how insignifigant they are.
Thats precisely why I am not reassured. If I (of dubious madness and decidedly NOT genius) can think of several EASY methods – I will never look at a birthday cake the same way again.
So when your building lands, go out the window rather than the door. Only then is it safe to eat your cake.
I can’t recall the function of the cake – prior to its being eaten. Quantum energy source?
I really don’t think that St.Charlie is a simulation however. Pocket universe perhaps to obtain its non-Newtonion geometry.
If I recall correctly, it was to symbolize the entirety of the universe as a whole. Been a while since I last read those novels, though.
As an aside, when I first got myself a Kindle, I immediately bought a case for it and put “Don’t Panic” on the cover in stick-on letters. Some people have even got the joke! ^_^
And always remember your towel! ^_^
The cake is a DIE!
“Elaine, do you know what happens to buttercream frosting that’s been sitting in a poorly ventilated British basement for 50 years? Well, I suspect that what you’re about to go through is punishment enough . . .”
Touché!
So, does this qualify as an Analogy Failure, or is there some other trope that fits it better?
So, Fusion Cake instead of Fusion Pie. U.N.I.T.Y. was almost right ^_^.
…is that DAVE under that frosting?!
Poor Marcie. I want to eat that cake out of her hair, but if the frosting is creamy from dairy it would wreak havoc on my insides. …Also, Chris would probably not appreciate me pulling a FiM-Pinkie Pie on his girlfriend, depending on when that flashback takes place.
(Aside from the “orally cleaning food off of an attractive person” aspect, I also love coconut and maraschino cherries… though I believe I have yet to try them together.)
Try chocolate syrup and maraschino cherries. VERY tasty. (Just be sure to put a towel under your significant other beforehand, because chocolate syrup can stain sheets.)
Um, Past Me, I don’t think that’s Marcie, and since Ruby’s there, it’s definitely not a flashback. I can totally see why you we- er, why I was mistaken, though. The cake between the icing and the St. Charliean’s actual hair does look kind of like Marcie’s pre-makeover hair.
Darkstarr, thanks for the suggestion. Maybe I’ll try it someday.
Hey! WHERE’S THE CREME FILLING?
What? Someone had to say it!
The cake is a lie!
Considering the chapter is nowhere near done and the Zombie Apocalypse is still active, i have my doubts.