Paperwork, Paperwork,
Hand it to wastepaper clerk.
Feed the bloated bureaucracy,
It’s fun to them, just between you and me.
Because the clerks are really right on their ball,
Filling those forms with illegible scrawl.
Desk jobs, windows,
They’d better bring the office round!
The way of L-I-F-E life in DC town!
Oh, the layman and the novice and the people of this place,
How did they die? From Paperwork!
They went fidgitin’ and shoutin’ and they’re mumblin’ in disgrace,
How did they die? From Paperwork!
All the clerks stayed hip to their partisanship,
They all know how to bring them down.
‘Cause they’ve got themselves a private club,
The pencil-pushers rule this town!
Give ‘em a push!
Give ‘em a shove!
And see it’s you the clerks will make fun of!
Come on, it’s Paperwork, Paperwork
Hand it to wastepaper clerk.
Feed the bloated bureaucracy,
It’s fun to them, just between you and me.
Because the clerks are really right on their ball,
Filling those forms with illegible scrawl.
Desk jobs, windows,
They’d better bring the office round!
The way of L-I-F-E life in DC town!
—I’m leaving the tune as an experiment to the reader.
So who wants to bet that the paperwork isn’t just not present, but has never actually been made yet. That would make it a test in creative bureaucracy (is that an oxymoron?)
If so, Sweetheart is going to have to grab the notes about the secretary and flawlessy create the proper forms on the other side.
I’m willing to bet that the forms are in a locked filing cabinet in an unused bathroom in a basement somewhere with the sign “Beware Of The Leopard” nailed to the door.
The hard part would be climbing down where the stairs used to be to get there.
The Great Unity and the President are spoken of separately… for all I know, Oz may be that human-obsessed bird… Or a Cuddle Cobra. Fearless Leader is *good* at surprises…
Phil was a Mynah, actually. Yesterday I went back and looked through the If I Ran the Zoo arc. Phil believes he is human, so would probably protest the ‘bird’ part of the sign, unless this Phil is different. I don’t think this is any Phil though- the head is too big and the beak is wrong.
Bribe your way in with a handful of seed, Unity. Now is no time to let the little guys throw their weight around! You’re headed straight for the top!
I get the feeling, even with how simple distracting a bird with seeds should be, Sweetheart will find the paperwork easier to do.
As soon as she finds the paperwork that is.
Is this an attempt at a “Jim Crow” law?
Oz sees no one! Not nobody, not nohow!
Oh sweetheart, you didn’t bring the entrance form? Clearly, you must go all the way back to Boston and retrace your steps
All the previous Oz references have disoriented my Oz-o-meter to the point where I’m not sure if this is one or not.
Love the doggy coat with pockets for all the tools of Sweetheart’s trade.
Agreed
*nodnod*
Paperwork, Paperwork,
Hand it to wastepaper clerk.
Feed the bloated bureaucracy,
It’s fun to them, just between you and me.
Because the clerks are really right on their ball,
Filling those forms with illegible scrawl.
Desk jobs, windows,
They’d better bring the office round!
The way of L-I-F-E life in DC town!
Oh, the layman and the novice and the people of this place,
How did they die? From Paperwork!
They went fidgitin’ and shoutin’ and they’re mumblin’ in disgrace,
How did they die? From Paperwork!
All the clerks stayed hip to their partisanship,
They all know how to bring them down.
‘Cause they’ve got themselves a private club,
The pencil-pushers rule this town!
Give ‘em a push!
Give ‘em a shove!
And see it’s you the clerks will make fun of!
Come on, it’s Paperwork, Paperwork
Hand it to wastepaper clerk.
Feed the bloated bureaucracy,
It’s fun to them, just between you and me.
Because the clerks are really right on their ball,
Filling those forms with illegible scrawl.
Desk jobs, windows,
They’d better bring the office round!
The way of L-I-F-E life in DC town!
—I’m leaving the tune as an experiment to the reader.
quothe the raven paper-more
Yeah, shouldn’t the clerk be perched on the marble head of Athena?
Thought it was a pallid bust of Pallas…
That’s what he just said 😉
Sweetheart looks at the gatekeeper, and she’s all like “Caw at me, bro.”
So who wants to bet that the paperwork isn’t just not present, but has never actually been made yet. That would make it a test in creative bureaucracy (is that an oxymoron?)
If so, Sweetheart is going to have to grab the notes about the secretary and flawlessy create the proper forms on the other side.
Unless the paperwork has a control number it is not illegal to counterfeit forms, and I’d bet Sweetheart can make them better than the originals.
I’m willing to bet that the forms are in a locked filing cabinet in an unused bathroom in a basement somewhere with the sign “Beware Of The Leopard” nailed to the door.
The hard part would be climbing down where the stairs used to be to get there.
Looking at that note…
…Oh, hell. It’s President Unity, isn’t it?
The Great Unity and the President are spoken of separately… for all I know, Oz may be that human-obsessed bird… Or a Cuddle Cobra. Fearless Leader is *good* at surprises…
I’m hoping it’s Mel.
Is everyone forgetting that poor sentient magpie framed for attempting to blow up the conference?
He was delivered by Artie to Helen and Dave IF my faulty memory is accurate.
Phil was a Mynah, actually. Yesterday I went back and looked through the If I Ran the Zoo arc. Phil believes he is human, so would probably protest the ‘bird’ part of the sign, unless this Phil is different. I don’t think this is any Phil though- the head is too big and the beak is wrong.
The one I just mentioned? Love to see him again…
Phil, yes. His name is Phil.
Not sure if this is him, though. In addition to talking as opposed to cawing, Phil had a lighter-colored patch behind his eye that’s missing on this bird.
So…she borrowed Twilight Sparkle’s saddlebags?