I was about to say something similar. Tip seems to have forgotten that gardening equipment is what saved him from this particular threat last time. Of course, they were out in the open that time…
Hey, if horror movies have taught us anything, gardening tools can be used for a wide variety of purposes, some of them related to lawn care. Dr. Lee is probably right to be worried about U.N.I.T.Y. getting near the things.
(TUNE: “If I Were A Rich Man” from Fiddler On The Roof, Bock & Harnick)
With a rotomulcher,
Chugga lugga logga choppa chippa whippa whappa wham!
Zombie swamp things, I would plow through them
With a rotomulching tool!
I’d … send ’em back to Nature!
Chugga lugga logga choppa chippa whippa whappa wham!
If I had a hundred-RPM Motor-farming rotomulching tool!
With just a 10-horsepower mulching attachment,
Zombies are very soon deceased!
And chlorophyll is splattered across the wall!
And with some anaerobic microbes to mulch them,
There’s be no CO2 released!
And that would be the greenest thing of all!
With a rotomulcher,
Chugga lugga logga choppa chippa whippa whappa wham!
The would soon be ve-ge-ta-ble Spam,
With a rotomulching tool!
I’d … xylem and I’d phloem!
Chugga lugga logga choppa chippa whippa whappa wham!
I would grind those greenies all to hell!
That would be a tale for all to tell!
I just might get sammiches, as well …
With a rotomulching tool!
A roto mulcher is something that most people couldn’t use without a tractor. It’s an attachment used for clearing land. I don’t know which would be worse, Unity driving a tractor with one attached, or pushing on by hand because it’s easier than learning how to drive the tractor.
I don’t for one second believe that Nick, an avid gamer, doesn’t read Goblins. He should know that if they kill the root the voracious, zombifying plant mass will wither.
Michael Palin, as talk-show host: “Hello, good evening, and welcome to another edition of ‘Blood, Devastation, Death, War, and Horror’…and later on, we’ll be talking with a man who DOES gardening.”
OK, now I’m envisioning some Bruce Campbell/Evil Dead-style action involving Unity, an undead shrubbery, and some gardening power tools. 😀
Evil Dead? I’m expecting Dead Alive. (warning: link contains extreme over-the-top gore)
You call THAT over the top!?! Good grief, it’s just a splut-fest of tomato sauce! I doubt that even counts as body horror!
Hey, Gardening accidents kill. Just ask Ian Jermaine, Ola Brunkert, and John “Stumpy” Pepys.
<AllCaps>OKAY NICK, LET’S SEE YOUR AERIAL TREE-TRIMMING APPARATUS!</AllCasp>
I was about to say something similar. Tip seems to have forgotten that gardening equipment is what saved him from this particular threat last time. Of course, they were out in the open that time…
Hey, if horror movies have taught us anything, gardening tools can be used for a wide variety of purposes, some of them related to lawn care. Dr. Lee is probably right to be worried about U.N.I.T.Y. getting near the things.
(TUNE: “If I Were A Rich Man” from Fiddler On The Roof, Bock & Harnick)
With a rotomulcher,
Chugga lugga logga choppa chippa whippa whappa wham!
Zombie swamp things, I would plow through them
With a rotomulching tool!
I’d … send ’em back to Nature!
Chugga lugga logga choppa chippa whippa whappa wham!
If I had a hundred-RPM
Motor-farming rotomulching tool!
With just a 10-horsepower mulching attachment,
Zombies are very soon deceased!
And chlorophyll is splattered across the wall!
And with some anaerobic microbes to mulch them,
There’s be no CO2 released!
And that would be the greenest thing of all!
With a rotomulcher,
Chugga lugga logga choppa chippa whippa whappa wham!
The would soon be ve-ge-ta-ble Spam,
With a rotomulching tool!
I’d … xylem and I’d phloem!
Chugga lugga logga choppa chippa whippa whappa wham!
I would grind those greenies all to hell!
That would be a tale for all to tell!
I just might get sammiches, as well …
With a rotomulching tool!
Another Eddurd win!
For once I agree, since, for once, I am actually familiar with the tune.
Rotomulcher hell, I wouldn’t like to encounter Unity armed with so much as a strimmer. A trowel, even.
I wouldn’t like to see Unity with arms at all. Or legs, for that matter.
Shades of mercedes Lackey’s “Oklahoma Weedwhacker Massacree” filk…
yup. She’s snapped
…on second thought… they are fighting leaves, aren’t they?
Panel 2: Gotta love Unity on the phone with a brain snack in the other hand.
Aren’t the crew missing someone?
Okay, I have to ask: what’s a rotomulcher?
A roto mulcher is something that most people couldn’t use without a tractor. It’s an attachment used for clearing land. I don’t know which would be worse, Unity driving a tractor with one attached, or pushing on by hand because it’s easier than learning how to drive the tractor.
Unity in an aircraft with one attached, clearly.
I don’t for one second believe that Nick, an avid gamer, doesn’t read Goblins. He should know that if they kill the root the voracious, zombifying plant mass will wither.
Michael Palin, as talk-show host: “Hello, good evening, and welcome to another edition of ‘Blood, Devastation, Death, War, and Horror’…and later on, we’ll be talking with a man who DOES gardening.”
Good sequence, Shaenon and Jeff, funny horror riffs. Andrew, it’s too bad Mark Evanier is not handy to answer your question about mulching. 🙂
I stand corrected. Unity, Nick and an aerial roto mulcher would be much worse for the world at large.
I mean let’s be fair, we know what happened when she got her hands on a pickaxe.