Skin Horse

By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
Color by Pancha Diaz
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2013-09-11
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2013-09-11

by shaenon on September 11, 2013 at 12:01 am
Chapter: My House Is Me
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Discussion (65) ¬

  1. Jabberwonky
    September 11, 2013, 12:04 am | # | Reply

    C’mon! I’d DATE her for the bragging rights…She was a real Whimsy Princess fer cryin’ out loud…

    (html experiment)

    • Chappy123
      September 11, 2013, 12:53 pm | # | Reply

      ….Huh. How’d you do that?

      • Chappy123
        September 11, 2013, 12:55 pm | # | Reply

        Oh. I see.

  2. Dave
    September 11, 2013, 12:22 am | # | Reply

    “Nice helicopter boy. I could do worse.”

    • JET73L
      March 6, 2015, 2:23 am | # | Reply

      And he’s a PROFESSIONAL. Snap up that nice pilot before he runs off with a shiksa.

  3. Manifesta
    September 11, 2013, 12:24 am | # | Reply

    tune: “Don’t You Care,” Gary Beisbier, James William Guercio & Jim Holvay, The Buckinghams, 1967

    You’re a lot like me
    So I’ll say bluntly
    It’s not that I’m into chicks
    Or have chromosomes YX

    I’m a whirl-
    ybird, not girl
    I can’t bang!
    I can’t bang!

    I know you like me
    But we can only be
    Buds, not go out on a date
    ‘Cause I’ve got blades that rotate

    I’m a whirl-
    ybird, not girl
    I can’t bang!
    I can’t bang!

    I know what happened
    You saw a princess
    I was at work
    Don’t be a jerk
    That dress
    Led to success, and now this mess

    When you’re in Balmer
    I’ll be “him,” not “her”
    Look for me high in the sky
    Can’t flock, but man, can I fly!

    I’m a whirl-
    ybird, not girl
    I can’t bang!
    I can’t bang!
    I can’t bang!
    I can’t bang!

    • Eddurd
      September 11, 2013, 2:30 am | # | Reply

      Very nicely done, Kay! I’m glad you’re filking today, ’cause I’m up at 2:30 am finishing a drawing, and I have an 8:00 meeting in the morning.

    • Tetra Valent
      September 11, 2013, 2:30 pm | # | Reply

      Great filk, and you know the correct spelling of that city near me!

      • mickeyf
        September 11, 2013, 7:38 pm | # | Reply

        Balmer Merlen?

        • Tetra Valent
          September 12, 2013, 9:39 am | # | Reply

          Yes indeedy, though “Merlin” is more common.

  4. pcj
    September 11, 2013, 12:29 am | # | Reply

    both 🙂

  5. Diane Castle
    September 11, 2013, 12:30 am | # | Reply

    Nick, that ‘Whimsy Princess’ t-shirt is not helping your case.

    And Kay, that was awesome.

    • shaenon
      September 11, 2013, 12:38 am | # | Reply

      Nick was a marginally more macho Whimsy Princess before Pancha colored the shirt hot pink. Still, free T-shirts!

      • Moor
        September 11, 2013, 12:12 pm | # | Reply

        Hey, Nick looks hecka macho.

        Just look at panel 2 — he’s doing so much with his body language, all the shirt is saying is “I really, really don’t care what you think.”

    • Manifesta
      September 11, 2013, 2:19 am | # | Reply

      Thanks. I tend to filk whatever song I’m listening to while I’m reading the strip.

  6. Dave Van Domelen
    September 11, 2013, 12:31 am | # | Reply

    Nick would be surprised and horrified at how many bangable parts a helicopter has, I suspect. Rule 34 annat.

    • Jay
      September 11, 2013, 12:47 am | # | Reply

      I think Nick would consider those “really creative”. But I’d love to see a helicopter doing a spit-take.

      (Could be Nick’s not all that creative when it comes to sex, anyway. That drone has fingers and a mouth; and I got the impression several times that that would have been enough for Violet Bee…)

    • somdudewillson
      January 10, 2023, 4:48 pm | # | Reply

      Indeed, just take a look at the dire_machine tag on e621. (NSFW warning, and also NSFW of vehicles warning if you decide to follow that advice)

  7. Moe Lane
    September 11, 2013, 12:38 am | # | Reply

    Embrace the healing power of ‘and,’ Nick.

  8. Risky
    September 11, 2013, 12:39 am | # | Reply

    He can’t hear what you are saying despite looking straight at your mouth. I’m not sure how much creativity is required here.

  9. abb3w
    September 11, 2013, 12:57 am | # | Reply

    To quote from one Spider Robinson’s “Callahan’s” series, “I can see fingers and a tongue from here; anything else is gravy”.

    • WuseMajor
      September 11, 2013, 3:38 am | # | Reply

      Yeah. Admittedly, depending on how the drone works, Nick might not be able to feel that, but the drone appears to be physically capable of BJs.

      • Tetra Valent
        September 11, 2013, 5:14 pm | # | Reply

        Does the drone actually breathe? With a voice generator she wouldn’t need to.

    • the1trueian
      September 11, 2013, 7:07 am | # | Reply

      Amen, plus We don’t know that the reality filter wouldn’t interpret outercourse as intercourse If the lady in question doesn’t have Fun bits.

  10. Tetra Valent
    September 11, 2013, 1:15 am | # | Reply

    “I was a Whimsy Princess and all I got was this T-shirt … and 10,000 rads.”

    • Robert The Addled
      September 14, 2013, 4:55 pm | # | Reply

      They’d have been sick long before they got to watching the film, and dead within 2 days.

      1 Gray = 100 Rem = 100 Rad.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_radiation_syndrome

  11. TheSexyMenhir
    September 11, 2013, 1:38 am | # | Reply

    Wow, I just realized how much fridge horror the whole “reality filter” thing introduces.

    Just imagine the following:
    A single ‘abnormal’ person in a community full of blockers. Everytime he tries to live a normal live, he has to ignore all the strange stuff happening; everytime he lives abnormaly, everybody arround him starts to ignore him, starting from his girlfriend, to in the end his parents…

    • Altarboy
      September 11, 2013, 2:59 am | # | Reply

      Hmm. A closet where the world is the one in denial is still a closet.

      • Altarboy
        September 11, 2013, 3:01 am | # | Reply

        Or maybe a ghetto.
        Uneditable comments

    • BMunro
      September 11, 2013, 4:09 am | # | Reply

      Well, weirdness doesn’t seem _that_ common: if you live in, say, an unimportant mid-sized city, you probably wouldn’t see much strange stuff save for the occasional mad scientist projecting his (or her) image onto the ionosphere.

      Perhaps this has been addressed before, but what about crazy people? Can the filter somehow tell, when somebody claims they are a government-constructed cyborg, whether they are telling the truth or just crazy, and block or not block accordingly? Are blockers unable to perceive the babbling of crazy people, if they are crazy enough? Could an utter loony get away with all sorts of crap in a community of blockers?

      • eddddd the mad genius
        September 11, 2013, 5:28 am | # | Reply

        you sir have the makings of a great scientist
        not a mad one, but a good one

        Furthermore, since unity and nick are both creations of dr. lee, who is not a mad scientist, merely and irresponible one, i belive that means they could be understood/recreated by a normal person, right? which makes them not mad technolagy, just advanced technolagy.
        Which means the filter blocks any advanced technolagy as well, or in other words someone with the filter in 1950 would not have been able to see an iPhone

        true/false?

        • =Tamar
          September 11, 2013, 6:39 am | # | Reply

          In 1950, Nick would have been perceived as a pretty girl, no matter what he said, and the t-shirt would have meant he worked for WhimsyCorp, since that was before people wore t-shirts with words on them for fun – they were strictly work shirts. Unity would have been perceived as an actor dressed up for a monster movie. An iPhone would have been seen as a prop from some science fiction movie. But I don’t think it’s the reality filter in today’s comic, I think it’s the “Nobody’s perfect” reaction. (If you don’t understand, find a copy of “Some Like It Hot” and watch it.)

          • maarvarq
            September 11, 2013, 8:55 am | #

            Ah yes, possibly the greatest closing line in cinematic history, and how they got away with it in 1960 I do not know.

    • Nix
      September 11, 2013, 6:24 am | # | Reply

      This is, of course, the premise of Neil Gaiman’s _Neverwhere_.

    • davidbreslin101
      September 11, 2013, 7:55 am | # | Reply

      Thank you. Recognition at last!

  12. Alexander Hammil
    September 11, 2013, 2:19 am | # | Reply

    Wait a minute. Flannel, glasses, oblivious interest in impossible women… Clone Dave!

    • OneUniverse
      September 11, 2013, 5:20 am | # | Reply

      I would say clone MELL, but UNITY already has some of her genetics incorporated in her make-up.

  13. Ogden Wernstrom
    September 11, 2013, 2:40 am | # | Reply

    So my date last night told me we have a lot in common, I’m like her, and I’m really creative.

    • Selki
      September 12, 2013, 9:12 pm | # | Reply

      LOL

  14. Axel
    September 11, 2013, 5:59 am | # | Reply

    Poor Nick, after all the growth he’s had, he has to deal with the spectre of his former self. And it won’t take no for an answer easily.

  15. Nix
    September 11, 2013, 6:25 am | # | Reply

    I note that when Nick is being really serious and trying to convince, he stops swearing.

  16. =Tamar
    September 11, 2013, 6:32 am | # | Reply

    I notice that Nick is having to live through the experience of at least one person he apparently tried to date, since he recognizes the “won’t stop pestering” behavior as his own! karma!

  17. the1trueian
    September 11, 2013, 7:00 am | # | Reply

    Nick runs on ethanol/diesel, if you can fit a gas pump you can fit a man.
    He Is supposed to be a geek he ought to know this.
    He may not be able to enjoy it as much as someone with nerve endings in their parts , but he is still capable of receiving of physical intimacy.

    • TFC
      September 11, 2013, 10:47 am | # | Reply

      Ouch!

    • Zap Rowsdower
      September 11, 2013, 12:38 pm | # | Reply

      Sperm in the gas tank cannot possibly be good for his engine. Remember, unlike organics, cybernetic beings like him take their fuel in directly, pre-processed, so it can’t be broken down to usable by digestion like with meatbags.

    • Tetra Valent
      September 11, 2013, 2:20 pm | # | Reply

      The Osprey runs on liquid fuel, but the drone is electric.

      • the1trueian
        September 11, 2013, 8:32 pm | # | Reply

        TFC I’d like to direct your attention to
        http://textfiles.com/sex/sex-cars.faq

        Zap That’s nothing that can’t be avoided by using protection.

        Tetra I was of course thinking of Nick’s real body rather than the drone, I’ve already mentioned that in a Reply higher up.

        • the1trueian
          September 11, 2013, 8:33 pm | # | Reply

          Link might be N S F W Unless you work at an auto repair shop.

  18. DReagan
    September 11, 2013, 7:07 am | # | Reply

    Just realized that Nick went through an entire strip without hitting the profanity filter.

  19. WAKnight
    September 11, 2013, 7:24 am | # | Reply

    And why might he be going to Baltimore? I feel like it’s Otakon and not the Ravens home opener or something.

  20. Kirt Dankmyer
    September 11, 2013, 11:18 am | # | Reply

    “No Bangable Parts” is my new Front Line Assembly cover band.

  21. Merle
    September 11, 2013, 11:27 am | # | Reply

    Nick…if you’re talking about your “real” body, I don’t think that’s the one this guy is interested in.

    If you’re talking about the humanoid frame, it’s got a mouth with enough tongue dexterity to speak. And clever little fingers.

    And if you really wanted to try to change that, you do work for, with and alongside mad scientists…I’m sure they could always install a few upgrades to the chassis.

  22. Joanna
    September 11, 2013, 12:08 pm | # | Reply

    Okay, is anyone else looking at panel three and sighing?

  23. Ysabet
    September 11, 2013, 4:02 pm | # | Reply

    Given some of the guys I’ve met via gaming and at cons, the chance to bang a fully-weaponized mecha (even a non-humanoid one) would make them extremely, extremely happy. Same for us women too; yup. Where there’s a will…..

    • Ysabet
      September 11, 2013, 4:04 pm | # | Reply

      Rats; screwed up the html. Meh.

    • OneUniverse
      September 11, 2013, 5:54 pm | # | Reply

      Typing about women that like big guns, have you read Shaenon’s NARBONIC series, yet? Mell is one girl that is always packing.

  24. TPRJones
    September 11, 2013, 4:57 pm | # | Reply

    Straight up banging is not the end-all-be-all. I can see plenty of reasons to date Nick.

    Heck, I want to date Nick at this point.

  25. Shadowmehr
    September 11, 2013, 7:35 pm | # | Reply

    This not going to end well.

    Amusingly, yes. But not well.

  26. mnementh
    September 11, 2013, 11:59 pm | # | Reply

    I dunno. For a brain in a jar, definitions of male & female must be abstract at best; but bottom line is there’s just nothing in it for HIM, even if he found maershmallow boy even maerginally attractive.

    I can see his point; this is headed on rails towards what will probably be an encounter make of sqwick for him, and no possibility of rewards. I’m filled with “Bleah” (elevated from “Meh” to a point of nonspecific distaste roughly equivalent to the smell of wet sheep) just thinking about it.

    Personally, I think Nick would get more from locking the drone in a bedroom and fondling its breasts in front of a mirror. At least then he could IMAGINE getting some practice.

    mnem
    “No Bangable Parts”… I am totes gonna write that song.

  27. Wogglebug
    September 12, 2013, 12:34 am | # | Reply

    Looks to me like Nice Jewish Boy really is nice: he enjoyed talking with Nick and would like to talk again.

  28. Darekun
    September 12, 2013, 5:23 am | # | Reply

    We saw Nick do the full VR thing from his first introduction. All they need is a total conversion cyborging for Remy too, and they can get their no-holds-barred full-duplex freaky on in avatars of each other’s choice.

  29. Shane
    September 15, 2013, 2:28 pm | # | Reply

    I now find myself wondering what the vocal synthesizer on the femdroid sounds like. Female, presumably to go with the look? There’s no way to tell just by the font!

  30. mrtt
    December 21, 2013, 3:52 am | # | Reply

    Didn’t we get informed earlier that the remote cybernetic humanoid interface currently being used DOES have bangable parts?

    • WJS
      July 9, 2019, 7:32 pm | # | Reply

      No, it was the opposite. It’s not entirely explicit, but I feel pretty confident interpreting “Way too low-res” as meaning “Not ‘fully functional'”.

  31. Storel
    November 22, 2017, 6:47 am | # | Reply

    He’s not that desperate, he’s just that creative!

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