if someone invented a time machine, I would take the blueprints and patent it last year.
Since then someone else would do the same, the invention of the time machine would predate the invention of the wheel …
I don’t believe that’s a legal move in the game U.S. Patent No. 1. Zeno’s Paradox applied to time travel is bad enough without moving the goalposts.
Other possible outcomes of time travel exist, such as AIs that use time travel to prevent everyone else from having it so that their creation can’t be undone.
Another model is one where the universe is a fixed or “solid” four-dimensional shape with all time travel events “already” part of a fixed past-present-future and incapable of changing it: all trips in time either end up failing to change the course of history or simply end up creating the pre-existing timeline. You travelling back to the Cretaceous isn’t a new thing: it already happened 70 million years ago and is part the history leading up to you and your time machine (or portal).
There’s also a model actually where you simply can’t travel back to before the creation of the time machine. One such example that appears to actually be supported by physics is the accelerated wormhole model.
Then there is Larry Niven’s model in which someone uses the time machine in a way that prevents the invention of the time machine. Then if a time machine is invented in the new time line ‘eventually’ we get a time line in which no time machine is ever invented & that line is stable.
Cheapass Games published a game called US Patent #1 where the goal was to be the first time traveler to patent time travel, by being the first person to patent anything. It was not a great game.
Heh. I knew a guy that did pretty much this. Around twenty years ago, there was someone going around online and on radio call-in shows claiming to be a time traveler. He outlined a very elaborate and detailed future history as well as very specific information about how his time machine worked. My… acquaintance… had a pretty good understanding of the physics involved and believed that what was described might actually work. So, he worked out the physics and put together a patent application. His patent was ultimately rejected. He later stated that he had made a mathematical error, so the physics didn’t actually work out. (Of course, there’s also the possibility that it did work out and the rest was just the BTA’s cover story.)
The Precambrian is a lot earlier than the dinosaurs: but perhaps they have to deal with Elder Things and Shoggoths and such and are well equipped to deal with mere outsized pre-birds.
Data from within My vast simulation spaces indicates that there is.
It could be there’s something really nasty in the Precambrian, and the BoPD are fighting a guerilla war to hold the entire half-billion years between then and now. They only need a small office because their thousands of field agents are elsewhen.
*jaw drops*
I forgot the Department of Precambrian Defence was even a thing. I thought they were another throwaway background gag. This is Jeff and Shaenon we’re talking about; I REALLY should have known better.
At this rate we’re going to have enough bricks coming back to build a house.
Bureau of Precambrian Defense! WOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I’ve wanted to know more about them ever since we got that glimpse of their office door right back at the beginning. There are many stories within Annex 1.
Rob Nowall did not do his rhyme.
Which stinks, ’cause there’s dinosaur crime!
How’d it get on the loose?
With a wildcard excuse:
There’s some portal that messes with time.
The best use for a time portal would be to reach back to the moment of someone’s death, scoop them forward (rejuvenating them to young adulthood as well as healing any ailments in the process) and leave a duplicate corpse behind to preserve the timeline…
What if…
they tried that on a heretical religious teacher who was executed in the eastern Roman Empire a couple of thousand years ago. But he was able to escape and return to his proper timeline several days after he was known to be dead. How would his students have reacted?
(Blasphemy? Why would trying to save Hiram the Mithraist be blasphemy?)
David: So, once you’ve got your time machine, all you’d need would be (a) a large supply of corpses (which I suppose you could arrange if you can get the glowy door working), and (b) Medea.
See they sent in the wrong team to contain this dinosaur – Pre-cambrian life would be everything *before* the dinosaurs. At best they could maybe defend against some low grade cellular life.
Time is on their side!
Oh no, it’s the Bureau of Temporal Anomalies. This is gonna get interesting.
Or possibly is going to have been interesting.
Going to have become interesting.
Perhaps it once was interesting.
No, Precambrian Defense. Their logo is on this guy’s T-shirt.
if someone invented a time machine, I would take the blueprints and patent it last year.
Since then someone else would do the same, the invention of the time machine would predate the invention of the wheel …
Presumably you’d have to move the invention of the patent system back in time, as well.
I don’t believe that’s a legal move in the game U.S. Patent No. 1. Zeno’s Paradox applied to time travel is bad enough without moving the goalposts.
Other possible outcomes of time travel exist, such as AIs that use time travel to prevent everyone else from having it so that their creation can’t be undone.
Another model is one where the universe is a fixed or “solid” four-dimensional shape with all time travel events “already” part of a fixed past-present-future and incapable of changing it: all trips in time either end up failing to change the course of history or simply end up creating the pre-existing timeline. You travelling back to the Cretaceous isn’t a new thing: it already happened 70 million years ago and is part the history leading up to you and your time machine (or portal).
There’s also a model actually where you simply can’t travel back to before the creation of the time machine. One such example that appears to actually be supported by physics is the accelerated wormhole model.
Then there is Larry Niven’s model in which someone uses the time machine in a way that prevents the invention of the time machine. Then if a time machine is invented in the new time line ‘eventually’ we get a time line in which no time machine is ever invented & that line is stable.
Cheapass Games published a game called US Patent #1 where the goal was to be the first time traveler to patent time travel, by being the first person to patent anything. It was not a great game.
Heh. I knew a guy that did pretty much this. Around twenty years ago, there was someone going around online and on radio call-in shows claiming to be a time traveler. He outlined a very elaborate and detailed future history as well as very specific information about how his time machine worked. My… acquaintance… had a pretty good understanding of the physics involved and believed that what was described might actually work. So, he worked out the physics and put together a patent application. His patent was ultimately rejected. He later stated that he had made a mathematical error, so the physics didn’t actually work out. (Of course, there’s also the possibility that it did work out and the rest was just the BTA’s cover story.)
The Precambrian is a lot earlier than the dinosaurs: but perhaps they have to deal with Elder Things and Shoggoths and such and are well equipped to deal with mere outsized pre-birds.
There’s always A Colder War
Data from within My vast simulation spaces indicates that there is.
It could be there’s something really nasty in the Precambrian, and the BoPD are fighting a guerilla war to hold the entire half-billion years between then and now. They only need a small office because their thousands of field agents are elsewhen.
They took a vote, and “precambrian” sounded cooler than all the other options.
make it sound like some kind of chess yoga move
Which came first – the Department of Temporal Anomalies or the Bureau of PreCambrian Defense?
(P.S. – I miss Kitirena… and blame the Feline Trauma Project!)
I kind like the ring of “Silurian Defense Squad” myself.
*jaw drops*
I forgot the Department of Precambrian Defence was even a thing. I thought they were another throwaway background gag. This is Jeff and Shaenon we’re talking about; I REALLY should have known better.
At this rate we’re going to have enough bricks coming back to build a house.
Bureau of Precambrian Defense! WOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I’ve wanted to know more about them ever since we got that glimpse of their office door right back at the beginning. There are many stories within Annex 1.
That’s not “where” it came from, that’s “when.”
“Time portal” answers both the “where” and the “how”. He never actually said “when” it came from.
“Damn it, Rivers! I’ve told you before: always open the portal from the future side, not the dinosaur side!”
Sort of like “now” in the Spaceballs sense.
Rob Nowall did not do his rhyme.
Which stinks, ’cause there’s dinosaur crime!
How’d it get on the loose?
With a wildcard excuse:
There’s some portal that messes with time.
I do have a life, you know. And see below in a minute or so. I’m not online all day, I do break away to shop and to eat and to go.
Sorry, man. No offense meant.
I just thought it was funny.
Tip gets a head butt on his skull. Precambrian Defense to annul. The time portal’s active, so they are reactive. Their “had-and-will” argument’s dull.
This reminds me of Douglas Adams’ argument that the greatest problem with time travel is how it affects grammar.
Now is irrelevant when you have a Time Portal…
The best use for a time portal would be to reach back to the moment of someone’s death, scoop them forward (rejuvenating them to young adulthood as well as healing any ailments in the process) and leave a duplicate corpse behind to preserve the timeline…
What if…
they tried that on a heretical religious teacher who was executed in the eastern Roman Empire a couple of thousand years ago. But he was able to escape and return to his proper timeline several days after he was known to be dead. How would his students have reacted?
(Blasphemy? Why would trying to save Hiram the Mithraist be blasphemy?)
David: So, once you’ve got your time machine, all you’d need would be (a) a large supply of corpses (which I suppose you could arrange if you can get the glowy door working), and (b) Medea.
Thats the best excuse I’ve ever heard.
See they sent in the wrong team to contain this dinosaur – Pre-cambrian life would be everything *before* the dinosaurs. At best they could maybe defend against some low grade cellular life.