Skin Horse

By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
Color by Pancha Diaz
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2016-04-18
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2016-04-18

by shaenon on April 18, 2016 at 12:01 am
Chapter: Can't Catch Me
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Discussion (37) ¬

  1. Moe Lane
    April 18, 2016, 12:04 am | # | Reply

    We’ve all been where you are, Virginia.

    …Well. No, actually none of us have been where you are. But we sympathize.

    • OneUniverse
      April 18, 2016, 6:48 am | # | Reply

      No one has fallen in love or had a crush on a piece of machinery or “dated” a transvestite? Speak for yourself! Although, sleeping with a trans-genetic gerbil is a bit out of my comfort zone.

      • william meagher
        April 18, 2016, 7:40 am | # | Reply

        Fine
        Statistically few of us have been in your exact position

      • Moe Lane
        April 18, 2016, 3:20 pm | # | Reply

        Well, sure, if we’re limiting ourselves to just the nouns. The winnowing starts when we start sorting by modifiers like ‘sentient brain in a jar’ or ‘mojo-based teleporting.’

      • Kitirena
        September 10, 2016, 5:57 am | # | Reply

        @OneUniverse: I once had a crush on Shamisen from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, but in my defense, he is a rather handsome fellow… Besides, how often do you see a cute male calico that can discuss philosophy intelligently, anyway, nyao?

        And what, pray tell, is wrong with us transgenic animals, anyway?

        • OneUniverse
          October 22, 2021, 8:10 am | # | Reply

          If transgenic animals float your boat, more power to you: I am merely stating my tastes don’t run that way. Remember that one loves what one loves, and social training may limit your choices as well as hormones.

  2. ngmatt
    April 18, 2016, 12:09 am | # | Reply

    well she goinked tip, but lets face it so has 1/4 of the human cast.

    • Alabat Macord
      April 18, 2016, 1:23 am | # | Reply

      And Artie. The night someone forgot to be specific.

    • Persona
      April 18, 2016, 2:10 am | # | Reply

      Only 1/4? Tip should really step up his game.

      • D. Walker
        April 18, 2016, 7:18 pm | # | Reply

        I think part of the reason it’s not a larger percentage is that Tip doesn’t seem to sleep with the menfolk other than Artie.

    • Seph
      April 18, 2016, 4:34 am | # | Reply

      I don’t think either of those really count as ‘dating’, though.

    • Frank Hightower
      April 19, 2016, 12:04 am | # | Reply

      i think this may be the longest since “goink” appeared in the comments

  3. Jay Eff
    April 18, 2016, 12:14 am | # | Reply

    “Hey Bubbelth, ctheck out by bustache!”

    • Efogoto
      April 18, 2016, 1:18 am | # | Reply

      My!

      • Frank
        April 19, 2016, 12:05 am | # | Reply

        Dude, chick digs chicks, dig?

  4. Mauricio Lemos
    April 18, 2016, 1:38 am | # | Reply

    4th panel is basically Skin Horse’s elevator pitch.

    • OneUniverse
      April 18, 2016, 6:50 am | # | Reply

      Yes, you gotta leave out the *really* weird bits, or you’ll scare off the potential readers.

      • william meagher
        April 18, 2016, 7:41 am | # | Reply

        What’s an elevator pitch?

        • SVGeezer
          April 18, 2016, 8:22 am | # | Reply

          Considering the elevators in Skin Horse are likely to be like those in Hitch Hikers……..

          It should be interesting to hear. (Go for it, Tip!)

        • Dr. Steve
          April 18, 2016, 9:16 am | # | Reply

          Mostly slow balls. No curve balls.

        • Bubble181
          April 18, 2016, 10:00 am | # | Reply

          To give a serious answer: the story you can tell to convince someone of an idea or concept in the time you spend together in an elevator – a maximum-2-minutes sales pitch, basically.

        • Robert Vary
          April 18, 2016, 10:37 am | # | Reply

          Okay, so say that you have a great idea for, say, a movie. But who are you going to tell? You’ll never be able to get an appointment with a studio head! But wait, one day you get on an elevator and by chance the studio head gets on as well! They’re stuck on there with you and have to listen to your idea, but you’ve got to sum it up in ten seconds or less before they get off at the next floor.

          tl;dr, it’s the tl;dr of your project.

        • DonRCamp
          April 18, 2016, 10:55 am | # | Reply

          Imagine you’re in an elevator with a venture capitalist, and you have until the doors open on his/her floor to pitch your startup. What do you say?

          • Marisa Mockery
            April 18, 2016, 11:35 pm | #

            “Please give me money, I won’t waste it”

  5. Seph
    April 18, 2016, 4:32 am | # | Reply

    How does Alfie speak while he has his tongue out like that?

    • mickeyjfmickeyf
      April 18, 2016, 12:33 pm | # | Reply

      Wiff gleat dithiculthy.

      • Sheik
        April 18, 2016, 1:16 pm | # | Reply

        Not necessarily. Since he’s not human he may be using a speech technique akin to how parrots “talk” and it’s all done in the throat.

      • Sheik
        April 18, 2016, 1:18 pm | # | Reply

        His big problem is his tongue drying out.

  6. Nok Nok
    April 18, 2016, 5:40 am | # | Reply

    Dr. Lee’s love life is still better than mine.

  7. bellringer187868
    April 18, 2016, 6:30 am | # | Reply

    Get one of the Hipster ones….

  8. Robert Nowall
    April 18, 2016, 8:08 am | # | Reply

    At least someone stepped up to offer Alfie some romantic advice…

  9. Robert Nowall
    April 18, 2016, 6:19 pm | # | Reply

    When Alfie lost his girl, the robots called him to their side,
    They said, “Lad, you handle romance in a way we can’t abide…”

    And then they said, “Getting girls is a good deal of work, lad,
    You’ll have no luck when you act like a jerk, lad,
    You cannot act like you’re going berserk, lad,
    Please behave with a smile, not a smirk, lad.”

    The robots told him, “You’d better stomp it down. (Stomp, stomp.)
    Oh, yeah, you’d better stomp it down. (Stomp, stomp it down.)”

    Aha, there are things that you just shouldn’t do now.
    You are not in some kind of a zoo, now.
    The women here know you haven’t a clue, now.
    Make one more pass, and you’ll find yourself through, now.

    The robots told him, “You’d better stomp it down. (Stomp, stomp.)
    Oh, yeah, you’d better stomp it down. (Stomp, stomp it down.)”

    Oh, yeah, you’re pretty wrong about romance, son.
    Girls are not here so that you can have some fun.
    Don’t think of love as a petty diversion,
    Tryin’ to connect up with that certain special person.

    Before you try romance and give it a whirl now.
    Make sure she’s a quality girl, now.
    Make sure she’s a gem and a pearl, now.
    She wouldn’t want to know a cad and a churl, now.

    The robots told him, “You’d better stomp it down (stomp, stomp),
    Aha, don’t be hooked up on Bubbles,
    Oh, now, ‘cause she’s got her own set of troubles.
    Aha, before you let loose something rash, ah, yeah, yeah, no tongue for mustache,
    Before you take her by the hand, young lad,
    Keep it planned, young lad, take a stand, young lad, you’ve got no hands, young lad…”

    —from “Shop Around,” The Miracles.

    • Manifesta
      April 19, 2016, 6:07 am | # | Reply

      This is wonderful!

      • Robert Nowall
        April 19, 2016, 8:40 am | # | Reply

        It wasn’t easy coming up with four rimes for some of these things—‘specially when Smokey Robinson already used the best ones…

        • Robert Nowall
          April 19, 2016, 1:45 pm | # | Reply

          “Rimes?” “Rhymes!”

          • oneuniverse2
            April 19, 2016, 3:00 pm | #

            Blasted spell-check! 🙂 Anyway, we need to get some of these recorded on a “Best of Skin-Horse” album. Good job!

  10. Shadowmehr
    April 18, 2016, 7:27 pm | # | Reply

    Poet, philosopher, receptionist, rampaging engine of destruction (retired), advisor on etiquette and romantic subtleties, collector of amusing popcorn tins, Mustachio is shaping up to be quite the Renaissance robot. I hope that Alfie realizes what a resource he has here.

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