Skin Horse

By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
Color by Pancha Diaz
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2012-08-23
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2012-08-23

by shaenon on August 23, 2012 at 12:00 am
Chapter: Railway Children
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Discussion (41) ¬

  1. Sparks
    August 23, 2012, 1:07 am | # | Reply

    I’ve always preferred Dr. Plutonium’s nuclear baking to his atomic cooking. Man-Portable Fusion Pie, mmm, delicious.

    • Wayne Zombie
      August 23, 2012, 7:47 am | # | Reply

      When his souffle’s rose, THEY ROSE! But you needed to be in the fallout shelter in case they fell…

      • Sparks
        August 23, 2012, 11:38 pm | # | Reply

        Spinach and wild mushroom (cloud) souffle!

    • jdreyfuss
      January 21, 2020, 5:11 pm | # | Reply

      The Hawking radiation only heated the chili to lukewarm, at best.

  2. Andrew
    August 23, 2012, 1:56 am | # | Reply

    He also made wicked atomic gumdrops. They kind of look like quark particles.

    • woozy
      August 23, 2012, 8:14 am | # | Reply

      I found the lemon flavored to be charming but the cherry ones were strange.

    • Rob, Arbiter of Reality
      August 23, 2012, 12:44 pm | # | Reply

      And now matter how much you shook the box they came in, the root beer ones always wound up on the bottom, and the licorice ones on top.

      • Andrew
        August 23, 2012, 1:56 pm | # | Reply

        It got worse with his string taffy. After three of those, I found myself in an entirely new dimension altogether.

        • Darkstarr
          April 20, 2016, 8:54 pm | # | Reply

          That’s because they were superstring taffy. That’s what you get for not reading the labels!

  3. PDP15
    August 23, 2012, 2:15 am | # | Reply

    That’s the beauty of it.

  4. Werlitten
    August 23, 2012, 2:47 am | # | Reply

    Myself, I always found that none of his recipes keep well.

    • davidbreslin101
      August 23, 2012, 6:00 am | # | Reply

      It’s a problem. I made some of his Curium Hard Candy, and it was half-decayed within a month.

    • Dewy
      August 23, 2012, 8:16 am | # | Reply

      At least it’s not an Italian cookbook by H.B. Narbonic. Those thinks are wicked.

  5. Eddurd
    August 23, 2012, 3:19 am | # | Reply

    (TUNE: “Brother Love’s Traveling Salvation Show”, Neil Diamond)

    Now … late at night,
    I will get such a fright
    From the words that they write
    In this book …

    De-mand to know
    What the heck’s going on?
    Ruby asks “What is wrong?”
    Take a look!

     Letters change into
     Just a recipe!
     Not so strange if you
     Love insanity!

      So come! Sample some
      Of Doctor Plutonium’s
      Chili today!
      Injure your palate!
      Atomic Totalit-y
      Chili Supreme!
      Making you scream!
      Pain is extreme!

    • Saberbeam
      August 23, 2012, 12:51 pm | # | Reply

      By the way, thanks for the custom filk the other day. Excellent as always 🙂

  6. Patera Silk
    August 23, 2012, 3:45 am | # | Reply

    My positive work ethic has finally driven me insane. I know the feeling, Sweetheart.

    As crazy as our sales staff is, those women do know not to push it too far. No one wants me going full madboy when I have easy access to a full machine shop, several computers, a few lasers and that “Why do you have a catalog about bulk chemicals?” moment.

    It’s amazing what kind of catalogs arrive for us in the mail. It only invites mayhem and rampage.

  7. Jacob Haller
    August 23, 2012, 5:53 am | # | Reply

    Holy cow, an Archimedes Plutonium reference?

    • Dennis Paul Himes
      August 23, 2012, 6:18 pm | # | Reply

      Apparently so! I haven’t seen a reference to Archimedes Plutonium and the Plutonium Atom Totality in decades. What ever happened to him? Is he online somewhere? Is he still on Usenet? Does Usenet still exist?

      • Dennis Paul Himes
        August 23, 2012, 6:27 pm | # | Reply

        And how old could Garrity have been when Plutonium was active? Or has he remained active and I just don’t know about it?

        • Jacob Haller
          August 23, 2012, 8:14 pm | # | Reply

          Google Groups seems to think he was still posting to the sci.* USENET groups in January of 2011. Unfortunately Google has broken the groups interface enough that I don’t see any easy way to see if there are more recent posts. I had a few arguments with him on sci.math, which is not something I recommend.

          I think USENET was still something people did in the mid-to-late 90s so if Shaenon didn’t interact with Archimedes Plutonium directly then she could have run across the net.legends FAQ somewhere.

          This is all gibberish to people who didn’t go to college in the 90s or earlier, right?

          • Kay Gilbert
            August 23, 2012, 8:25 pm | #

            Yup.

          • Eddurd
            August 23, 2012, 9:08 pm | #

            I wrote some of my first filks on the sci.space.* USENET groups back in the 90’s. “Rocket Scientist” fits the meter of “Animaniacs”.

          • Rob, Arbiter of Reality
            August 23, 2012, 10:10 pm | #

            I still miss Gharlane of Eddore’s postings in the rec.arts.sf hierarchy.

          • matt w
            August 24, 2012, 3:18 am | #

            I went to college in the 90s or earlier, and it’s gibberish to me, too.

          • Chemster
            August 24, 2012, 4:04 am | #

            Eddurd: that was you? I was just lurking then, but I *loved* that one!

          • Chemster
            August 24, 2012, 4:04 am | #

            (I mean, I loved that Rocket Scientists filk, sorry for vagueness)

          • David DeLaney
            August 10, 2013, 8:23 am | #

            I’m glad to hear people are still enjoying my FAQ nearly 20 years later!

            –Dave

  8. Kirt Dankmyer
    August 23, 2012, 7:53 am | # | Reply

    I have faith that the twist here is NOT that they’re in a virtual reality, especially as they’ve already done that with Nick. 🙂

    Not sure what it is, tho. Nanites? Hallucinogens? Mind-controlling cyberkittens?

    • Dewy
      August 23, 2012, 8:14 am | # | Reply

      The answer to your question is simple: SCIENCE!
      No other explaination is needed or will probably be explained to your satisfaction.
      Enjoy the ride.

    • woozy
      August 23, 2012, 8:28 am | # | Reply

      Or ruby simply opened the book to a different page.

      • Jeffrey Wells
        August 23, 2012, 8:45 am | # | Reply

        Sweetheart carefully marked the proper page with a thread of viscous drool.

        • Rob, Arbiter of Reality
          August 23, 2012, 8:48 am | # | Reply

          Not to be confused with vicious drool. That stuff will eat through the hull.

        • woozy
          August 23, 2012, 11:10 am | # | Reply

          which rules out my “pre-recorded conversation”. Which is a good thing because now I don’t have to worry about people making over-used wibbly-wobbly time-wimey references. *thank god*

  9. Rob, Arbiter of Reality
    August 23, 2012, 8:46 am | # | Reply

    Sweetheart needs to keep in mind where she is — in a community of mad scientists and some of their sentient creations, located within a subway train that’s bigger on the inside than on the outside (complete with White Castle), (pseudo-)randomly traversing (at least) the Boston subway system. That she’s under observation and that someone is either playing with the words on the pages of a book or screwing with her perceptions of it should be the least of her worries.

  10. Sheik
    August 23, 2012, 11:21 am | # | Reply

    I just don’t see how someone could get freaked over a book made with e-paper.
    E-paper that can sense the reader and has a sense of humor, but e-paper nevertheless.

    • mnementh
      August 23, 2012, 9:49 pm | # | Reply

      So you’re saying they printed a book out of The Doctor’s psychic paper?

      mnem
      Or is that psychotic paper…

  11. mnementh
    August 23, 2012, 2:20 pm | # | Reply

    WHAT?!? NO ANCHOVIES? How can you make chili without anchovies?!?

    mnem
    I’ll be right over here, shuddering along with the ghost of Carrol Shelby…

    • ysabet
      August 23, 2012, 6:52 pm | # | Reply

      They’re an optional topping, though I really prefer smoked oysters for that ‘half-life on the halfshell’ flavor. Add a few Golden Flake Cheesepuffs as garnish, put on a lead-lined vest and you’ve got a taste sensation that you’ll still be licking your lips over a year later, should you live that long. 😀

  12. The Office Pedant
    August 24, 2012, 5:25 am | # | Reply

    Atomic Canuck Chili
    by Shorty345

    tip o’ the hat to allrecipes.com

    Ingredients
    2 pounds lean ground beef
    1/2 large onion, diced
    1 tablespoon crushed red pepper
    3 tablespoons garlic powder
    1 tablespoon seasoned pepper
    2 (4 ounce) cans mushroom pieces, drained
    1 (28 ounce) can baked beans
    2 (15.25 ounce) cans kidney beans with liquid
    2 (6 ounce) cans tomato paste
    1/4 cup white sugar
    3 carrots, sliced
    3 stalks celery, sliced
    1 green bell pepper, diced
    1 red bell pepper, diced
    2 jalapeno chile peppers, diced
    1/4 cup Canadian beer
    2 tablespoons crushed red pepper
    hot sauce
    1/4 cup barbeque sauce

    Directions
    1.In a large skillet over medium heat, brown ground beef together with onion, crushed red pepper, garlic powder, and seasoned pepper. Drain off the fat, and place the mixture into a slow cooker.

    2.Stir mushrooms, baked beans, kidney beans with liquid, tomato paste, sugar, carrots, celery, peppers, beer, and barbeque sauce into the slow cooker. Season with hot sauce and more crushed red pepper.

    3.Cover, and cook on Low for 4 to 5 hours.

    • Sparks
      August 24, 2012, 9:44 pm | # | Reply

      4. Add 1-3tsp plutonium, to taste.

  13. Clifton
    February 16, 2014, 8:59 pm | # | Reply

    Holy crap, a Ludwig Plutonium reference! Are Alexander Abian and Hannu also on board? I once mocked both of them in a single sci.physics post.

    There are days I miss early ’90s Usenet sooo much.

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