So… Sweetheart’s giving the neuroscience prodigy whose greatest talent is the reverse engineering of mad science for sane scientists to use… unrestricted access to beverages the entire office staff drinks?
“Well, efficiency seemed down what with the move to Daylight Savings Time and a lasting sense of depression that may be Seasonal Affective Disorder or simply a reaction to setbacks along the way, so I figured I would counteract the effect with a combination of modafinil, methylphenidate, and milnacipran, which I blended alongside a series of flavoring agents and monosodium glutamate to pair a sense of umami with the natural nuttiness of the brew.”
“DOCTOR LEE! NO ONE IN THE DEPARTMENT HAS SLEPT FOR FOUR DAYS! DOCTOR ENGLEBRIGHT JUST WROTE A THREE NOVEL SERIES ABOUT INSECT PORN IN THE LAST NINETEEN HOURS! AND YOU MANAGED TO INSTILL GREATER FOCUS AND CONFIDENCE–”
I’d imagine a hyper-perfectionist Sweetheart, too busy cursing herself over possibly-misused Oxford commas in every form she’s ever filled to keep an eye on a hyper-hyperactive Unity, as well. Not pretty.
In Sweetheart’s defense, coffee is one the most vital sections of any modern office culture. And Dr. Lee is good, but it’s unlikely she could “improve” the coffee to Agatha Heterodyne levels.
The coffee culture of the modern office includes more than just the liquid, for sure, and Agatha had a few clanks to help her out. But the key is what to “improve” coffee means – she could have a delivery system through the cheeks that saves time and keeps the fluid coming.
I give her 3 hours before she trys to brain someone
A whole *three* hours!? Optimistic.
Sir! How dare you insult the lady’s dignity!
She’s a professional, she will succeed in braining someone. There will be no trying.
I give her 2 before she tries to *debrain* someone
Dr. Lee: “So.. do I operate on the coffee maker’s brain? It has a brain, right?”
“… Actually I’m Not sure, the water fountain used to, but it was removed… Maybe?”
Didn’t it go out on strike with the other machines that time?
So Lee is now Chekov’s Coffeemaker?
Apparently Sweetheart doesn’t realize how dangerous it is to let Virginia get bored. 😀
Fubar?
F*** Up Beyond All Recognition.
Or Repair, depending on the situation.
So… Sweetheart’s giving the neuroscience prodigy whose greatest talent is the reverse engineering of mad science for sane scientists to use… unrestricted access to beverages the entire office staff drinks?
Sweetheart is really bad at this.
“What did you do?”
“Well, efficiency seemed down what with the move to Daylight Savings Time and a lasting sense of depression that may be Seasonal Affective Disorder or simply a reaction to setbacks along the way, so I figured I would counteract the effect with a combination of modafinil, methylphenidate, and milnacipran, which I blended alongside a series of flavoring agents and monosodium glutamate to pair a sense of umami with the natural nuttiness of the brew.”
“DOCTOR LEE! NO ONE IN THE DEPARTMENT HAS SLEPT FOR FOUR DAYS! DOCTOR ENGLEBRIGHT JUST WROTE A THREE NOVEL SERIES ABOUT INSECT PORN IN THE LAST NINETEEN HOURS! AND YOU MANAGED TO INSTILL GREATER FOCUS AND CONFIDENCE–”
“…well, that doesn’t sound so bad–”
“IN TIP!”
“…oh God, I am a Monster….”
Wouldn’t Tip have to call a physician after 4 hours?
No, Tip would just have to nudge one.
I’d imagine a hyper-perfectionist Sweetheart, too busy cursing herself over possibly-misused Oxford commas in every form she’s ever filled to keep an eye on a hyper-hyperactive Unity, as well. Not pretty.
(applause) Bravo, sir. Bravo.
For those that read the Narbonic series, remember all the weird substances that wound up in their coffee.
Still not sure what the point of the plesiosaur DNA was. Outside of a retrovirus it’d have no real effect.
And inside of a retrovirus, it’s too dark to read.
“Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.”
Yeah. Good old Narbonic style evil coffee.
Does no one remember what happened when they let Agatha Heterodyne near the coffeemaker? This will not end well!
But… it was perfect! SO perfect!
So perfect was the problem; no one wanted to drink ordinary swill again!
Except to compare it to The Good Stuff (TM) and then immiedietly go back to drinking agetha’s brew
Oh lee, you made one critical mistake: you told them you were a temp
Actually, she’s not a temp. It’s worse than that, she’s a volunteer. Volunteers (and interns) do whatever jobs the paid folks are too expensive to do.
Maybe she’ll irradiate the coffee. Just to catch us all offguard.
The Department of Irradiation usually handles that…
Because we have an irradiator
Can’t rely on those energy drinks to keep the staff less than torpid…
Service is NOT her only joy.
“I can’t be sexist, I’m female myself!”
In Sweetheart’s defense, coffee is one the most vital sections of any modern office culture. And Dr. Lee is good, but it’s unlikely she could “improve” the coffee to Agatha Heterodyne levels.
Probably.
The coffee culture of the modern office includes more than just the liquid, for sure, and Agatha had a few clanks to help her out. But the key is what to “improve” coffee means – she could have a delivery system through the cheeks that saves time and keeps the fluid coming.
Mad coffee mixology is sorely under-appreciated in the world of mad science