Skin Horse

By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
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2014-05-12
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2014-05-12

by shaenon on May 12, 2014 at 12:01 am
Chapter: The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
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Discussion (18) ¬

  1. Jay Eff
    May 12, 2014, 12:16 am | # | Reply

    You mean, Unity DIDN’T set the CD aflame??

    • efogoto
      May 12, 2014, 12:25 am | # | Reply

      Yet

    • codebracker
      May 12, 2014, 1:01 am | # | Reply

      I tink she did, she’s holding it right now.

  2. The Ponytrician
    May 12, 2014, 12:44 am | # | Reply

    And there’s the final piece of the puzzle.

    Sweetheart to scan the files.
    Unity to burn them to CD.
    Moustachio to distribute the CD to whomever requires it.
    Tip to write a report on the millipedes; DoI to report on the silverfish.

    Teamwork, ladies, gentlemen, and those of you yet to decide. If only they’d sat down and discussed their individual objectives first. Less entertaining for us, more efficient for them.

    • Andorxor
      May 12, 2014, 1:16 am | # | Reply

      Or a evil plan to get whatever data Unity put on the disc and distracted everyone else with the files.

      • Altarboy
        May 12, 2014, 2:36 am | # | Reply

        Unity probably forgot her objective and filled the disc with Thundercats porn.

    • Paul
      May 12, 2014, 3:14 am | # | Reply

      Yep. Gavotte probably has a second game in play of course but getting them to think and communicate is probably her greatest wish. Manipulating them into everything has to get old eventually.

      I mean, it isn’t like the DoI needs all the files and neither does Tip. Hell, Sweetheart could just scan those first and then release the physical copies and digital version to anyone that needed them.

      • Metaldude555
        May 12, 2014, 10:51 pm | # | Reply

        Gavotte probably left the specific order of the duties out on purpose so everyone would trip over each other. She probs actually wants to tell them off and get a kick out of denying them a raise.

    • Rex Vivat
      May 12, 2014, 3:16 pm | # | Reply

      Remember that the DoI doesn’t take orders from Gavotte. Still, she knew they wanted the files.

      • Paul
        May 12, 2014, 7:23 pm | # | Reply

        Not seeing what that changes. It isn’t a scheme if you just order everyone to do something and they have to comply.

  3. Eddurd
    May 12, 2014, 6:15 am | # | Reply

    (TUNE: “I Gotta Be Me”, Sammy Davis Jr.)

    So, Tip, what’s your task?
    It doesn’t look fun …
    Through files you must sort
    To write your report,
    But I’m already done!
    I burned a CD!
    I burned a CD!
    As easy as that,
    In just no time flat,
    I burned a CD!

     But who really needs
     Or actually reads
     A fifty-page brief on the mil-li-pedes?
     Through data he sieves,
     And wonders “What gives?
     What’s up with these flawed performance-based initiatives?”

    I’ve no need to steal,
    Or borrow or beg!
    I finished my task,
    Just like Gavotte asked,
    Plus sewed on a leg!
    I burned a CD!
    I burned a CD!
    With nary a hitch,
    I copy and stitch!
    I burned a CD!

  4. robertnowall
    May 12, 2014, 6:24 am | # | Reply

    Maybe if she had to print or burn a label for it…

  5. jdreyfuss
    May 12, 2014, 6:49 am | # | Reply

    50 pages in a day? Charts ahoy!

  6. Smithnik
    May 12, 2014, 3:23 pm | # | Reply

    Did anyone else notice that Unity never said WHAT CD she was burning? There’s no indication that it was the files that Sweetheart was scanning, since Sweetheart never got to finish scanning those.
    My guess is that the whole thing was a decoy to keep everyone else from noticing what files Unity was accessing.

    • Shadowmehr
      May 12, 2014, 7:08 pm | # | Reply

      Honestly, I’m expecting it to be a CD of opera music, to attract the silverfish, who will eat the files. While singing along, of course.

      • Tetra Valent
        May 12, 2014, 11:52 pm | # | Reply

        A collection of all of Eddurd’s filks, performed by the silverfish.

        • Saberbeam
          May 13, 2014, 11:42 am | # | Reply

          I’d buy that and I’m not even sure what silverfish opera would sound like (I’m imagining something like Alvin and the Chipmunks).

    • jdreyfuss
      January 24, 2020, 7:44 am | # | Reply

      My guess is they were supposed to complete their tasks in a specific order but Gavotte didn’t tell them that, nor what order they’re supposed to work in.

      1. Sweetheart scans all documents, then gives the hard copies to Tip.
      2. Unity burns the documents onto a CD to give to Moustachio.
      3. Moustachio fulfills Chris’ customer service request by giving him the CD.
      4. Meanwhile, Tip writes his report.

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