Skin Horse

By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
Color by Pancha Diaz
  • About Us
  • Cast
  • Store
  • Extras
  • Original Art for Sale
  • Our Patreon
RSS
2014-03-19
‹‹ First ‹ Prev Buy! Comments(39) Next › Last ››

2014-03-19

by shaenon on March 19, 2014 at 12:01 am
Chapter: My Brother Sam Is Dead
Comments RSS

Discussion (39) ¬

  1. Jay Eff
    March 19, 2014, 12:04 am | # | Reply

    Don’t Google “Botflies.”

    • Norman
      March 19, 2014, 12:10 am | # | Reply

      Or wiki. Don’t wiki them, either.

      • Voyager
        March 19, 2014, 1:36 am | # | Reply

        Well, there’s my nightmare fuel for the day.

        • Blayzeing
          March 19, 2014, 5:03 am | # | Reply

          I watched a documentary about them when I was twelve. I still mhave a fear of them to this very day.

          • irdburns
            March 19, 2014, 7:10 am | #

            Reminds me of Shadow child from Digger, who hatched from a dead bird.
            “I was sad to leave it. But it was small, and the blowflies were getting awfully loud…”

    • Darkstarr
      May 13, 2016, 5:34 am | # | Reply

      I have seen worse… and no, I’m not telling what that “worse” is. Let’s just say that parasites are as imaginative in coming up with new ways to invade host bodies as they are disgusting and leave it at that.

      • Noaqiyeum
        July 11, 2016, 12:02 pm | # | Reply

        I think the figure was that around 10% of all species in existence are not parasites.

  2. The Ponytrician
    March 19, 2014, 12:36 am | # | Reply

    Why not both? You just need to dress two of those botflies as a little angel and a little devil…

    • Flah
      March 19, 2014, 2:21 am | # | Reply

      Because, if you knew what botflies are, you’d know that they’re simply the devil.

      • The Ponytrician
        March 19, 2014, 10:13 pm | # | Reply

        I know what botflies are. They are only “the devil” from the perspective of something that is not a botfly.

        • SotiCoto
          August 22, 2014, 9:03 am | # | Reply

          I can safely say that nothing in any ecosystem would miss botflies if they were systematically extincted…

          And while we’re on the topic, I call for the systematic extinction of candiru as well… and Ophiocordyceps unilateralis for that matter.

          Actually, I could go on listing various organisms I find highly objectionable AND safely disposable for ages… but I think I’ve covered some of the worst ones.

          • Darkstarr
            May 13, 2016, 5:35 am | #

            Add “kuru” to that list, if you please. If you know what it is, you probably understand why I want it eradicated.

          • jdreyfuss
            January 23, 2020, 3:09 pm | #

            Kuru isn’t an organism, it’s a transmissible mutation.

  3. Yobgod
    March 19, 2014, 2:31 am | # | Reply

    More importantly, The Emperor KNOWS botflies, and these are not botflies.

  4. BRGR
    March 19, 2014, 3:02 am | # | Reply

    It is just a young, innocent, sentient swamp looking for sustenance. KILL IT WITH FIRE!
    Or feed it Seymore. Whatever. Smart Unity preferred the herbicide option.
    Where is the hat off to? And what is it up to?

    • jdreyfuss
      March 19, 2014, 10:49 am | # | Reply

      I don’t know if I trust Smart Unity when it comes to moral decisions.She usually prefers the tactic that will most efficiently neutralize the threat, rather than the one that will end the threat with the best possible outcome for everyone.

  5. Daniel
    March 19, 2014, 3:25 am | # | Reply

    Ewww… Sweetheart, just give up on ever having sexy time with Unity. Trust me. You don’t want any of that.

    • davidbreslin101
      March 19, 2014, 9:32 am | # | Reply

      Given some of the stuff dogs’ll roll in, maybe it’s a turn-on.

  6. Manifesta
    March 19, 2014, 4:36 am | # | Reply

    tune: “Give a Little Whistle,” Leigh Harline & Ned Washington, Pinocchio, 1940

    When I think of killing,
    Though I don’t know right from wrong,
    I get a weird buzzing
    I get a weird buzzing

    Venus tried to off me
    So the urge is very strong
    Still I get a buzzing
    I get a weird buzzing

    This strange sensation is like a botfly’s bite
    If KT’s potion works, well
    That’s what we’re here for
    Right?

    Emperor Norton the First
    Says bugs aren’t in my hide
    When I get a buzzing
    I get a weird buzzing
    Instead I feel a conscience deep inside

  7. Eddurd
    March 19, 2014, 6:53 am | # | Reply

    (TUNE: “My Guy”, Mary Wells)

    What’s that in my ear?
    The buzzing that I hear
    Is botflies!
    Just ’cause I’m undead
    The noises that I hear
    Are botflies!
    When I found out that the swamp just wants some food,
    Then there’s something in me feeling … not good!
    It tells me this isn’t right!
    Though in truth, it just might
    Be botflies!

     Could the buzzing be my conscience? My moral sense?
     The dirt in here has got like zero nu-tri-ents!
     In the darkness of the sewer, it just won’t thrive …
     The poor thing simply wants to stay alive!

    Could this feeling be
    The kinder side of me,
    Or botflies?
    Spraying herbicide
    Until it all has died
    Is not wise!
    If it’s sentient, we have to help, of course!
    That’s the mission here of Project … Skin Horse!
    If we give it what it lacks,
    We both can share a snack
    Of botflies!

    • Eddurd
      March 19, 2014, 8:49 am | # | Reply

      Drat drat drat … that line is supposed to be, “Juat ’cause I’m undead, the noises IN MY HEAD …”

  8. Dr. Steve
    March 19, 2014, 8:56 am | # | Reply

    It may be that UNITY is simply against any solution where she doesn’t get the fun of combat!

  9. Guesticus
    March 19, 2014, 9:26 am | # | Reply

    No, Unity realized that the swamp is just like any other zombie: looking for brains in the drains to survive

    Been reading for only a month or so, finally decided to start commenting 😀

    • Saberbeam
      March 19, 2014, 7:37 pm | # | Reply

      @Guesticus: I read “looking for brains in the drains to survive” and thought “It’s the eye of the tiger!” 😀

    • Tetra Valent
      March 19, 2014, 9:00 pm | # | Reply

      Unity and the swamp both remember their lessons well:

      “The brains to obtain are mainly in the drains”.

  10. Rex Vivat
    March 19, 2014, 10:42 am | # | Reply

    Uh oh. I hear consciences are contagious.

    • oneuniverse2
      March 19, 2014, 12:45 pm | # | Reply

      And so are things that kill consciences.

  11. grantwhy
    March 19, 2014, 11:10 am | # | Reply

    hmmm …. zero nutrients?

    So if they could give the Swamp some nutrients, it might stop attacking people?

    Now, if only there was a large supply of fertilizer around that they could use?

    Maybe in (underground) ponds, or even better, just flowing nearby and some could be diverted to where the Swamp needs it 🙂

    Ah, but alas, where are they going to find anything like that in a sewer?

    😉

    • Shadowmehr
      March 19, 2014, 3:44 pm | # | Reply

      Y’know, I was going to ask about that. It would seem that there might be too many nutrients in that area. Ah, well, mad science stories trump logic.

  12. Smithnik
    March 19, 2014, 1:24 pm | # | Reply

    This may not be as easy as it sounds. If you feed the sewer zombie nutrients, it will grow, needing a larger supply of liquid and nutrients. Simply feeding it the sewage doesn’t solve the problem, just postpone it until you’ve got a sewer zombie that is even bigger.
    No, the real solution is to transplant it into a big pot, so that it won’t keep growing. You could even trim it decoratively. No, really.
    Wouldn’t a bonsai sewer zombie be really amazing?

    • Manifesta
      March 19, 2014, 2:34 pm | # | Reply

      Bonsai creeps me out. It’s the plant equivalent of foot binding. I wouldn’t wish that seven on Venus.

  13. Manifesta
    March 19, 2014, 2:35 pm | # | Reply

    “even on Venus.” Poop.

  14. freddiefreelance
    March 19, 2014, 4:25 pm | # | Reply

    What if they mulched brains from the Brain-O-Mat, would that be the perfect fertilizer for a Zombie Swamp?

  15. Pygar
    March 19, 2014, 4:48 pm | # | Reply

    I was gonna do a filksong about botflies, but the only music I could think of was the theme song from the old Adam West “Batman” show… so I gave up. Consider yourself fortunate…

  16. Tetra Valent
    March 19, 2014, 9:42 pm | # | Reply

    Not the song that follows the “rain in Spain” line, of course, but the one that jumps up to be filked. This is the Swamp’s moment.

    (Tune: “Wouldn’t It Be Loverly”, Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe)

    All I want is some soil somewhere,
    Far away from this fetid air,
    With nutrients to spare,
    Now, wouldn’t that be swamperly?

    Lots of zombies for me to eat,
    Lots of sun making lots of heat.
    Warm roots, warm trunks, warm peat,
    Now, wouldn’t it be swamperly?

    Now, so swamperly sittin’ abso-bloomin’-lutely still.
    I would never budge ’till you crept o’er a nearby hill.

    Some undead hanging from a tree,
    Lurching onward where they can see,
    Who take commands from me,
    Now, wouldn’t it be swamperly?

    Note: I’m pretty sure that Lerner and Loewe made up the word “loverly”. So I can make up “swamperly”.

  17. Tetra Valent
    March 19, 2014, 9:48 pm | # | Reply

    Eddurd, how are you getting indentation in your filks? Everything I tried got me a silly “Invalid security token” error message. Thanks.

  18. woozy
    March 19, 2014, 11:42 pm | # | Reply

    Hey, she *did* claim the feeling was “weird”. If she felt botflies were *normal* that’d be something else.

  19. Guesticus
    March 20, 2014, 8:08 am | # | Reply

    Yeah, more of the “Rains in Spain fall mainly on the plains” than “Eye of the Tigger” 😀

  20. Waffle Sorter
    March 25, 2015, 7:55 pm | # | Reply

    It occurs to me to wonder how much of what’s going on here may be part of A-Sig’s inscrutable plan. A-Sig is the only entity that we know had some sample of Cypress, and they’re also behind U.N.I.T.Y…. Artie feels responsible, for unclear reasons, for things going “wrong” above, but superintelligent or not he could be mistaken…

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

More by Jeff

  • The Scrivnarium

More by Shaenon

  • Horror Every Day
  • Li'l Mell
  • Monster of the Week
  • Narbonic
  • Shaenon.com
Creative Commons License
Skin Horse by Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://www.skin-horse.com.

©2007-2022 Skin Horse | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑