Reminds me of Shadow child from Digger, who hatched from a dead bird.
“I was sad to leave it. But it was small, and the blowflies were getting awfully loud…”
I have seen worse… and no, I’m not telling what that “worse” is. Let’s just say that parasites are as imaginative in coming up with new ways to invade host bodies as they are disgusting and leave it at that.
I can safely say that nothing in any ecosystem would miss botflies if they were systematically extincted…
And while we’re on the topic, I call for the systematic extinction of candiru as well… and Ophiocordyceps unilateralis for that matter.
Actually, I could go on listing various organisms I find highly objectionable AND safely disposable for ages… but I think I’ve covered some of the worst ones.
It is just a young, innocent, sentient swamp looking for sustenance. KILL IT WITH FIRE!
Or feed it Seymore. Whatever. Smart Unity preferred the herbicide option.
Where is the hat off to? And what is it up to?
I don’t know if I trust Smart Unity when it comes to moral decisions.She usually prefers the tactic that will most efficiently neutralize the threat, rather than the one that will end the threat with the best possible outcome for everyone.
What’s that in my ear?
The buzzing that I hear
Is botflies!
Just ’cause I’m undead
The noises that I hear
Are botflies!
When I found out that the swamp just wants some food,
Then there’s something in me feeling … not good!
It tells me this isn’t right!
Though in truth, it just might
Be botflies!
Could the buzzing be my conscience? My moral sense?
The dirt in here has got like zero nu-tri-ents!
In the darkness of the sewer, it just won’t thrive …
The poor thing simply wants to stay alive!
Could this feeling be
The kinder side of me,
Or botflies?
Spraying herbicide
Until it all has died
Is not wise!
If it’s sentient, we have to help, of course!
That’s the mission here of Project … Skin Horse!
If we give it what it lacks,
We both can share a snack
Of botflies!
This may not be as easy as it sounds. If you feed the sewer zombie nutrients, it will grow, needing a larger supply of liquid and nutrients. Simply feeding it the sewage doesn’t solve the problem, just postpone it until you’ve got a sewer zombie that is even bigger.
No, the real solution is to transplant it into a big pot, so that it won’t keep growing. You could even trim it decoratively. No, really.
Wouldn’t a bonsai sewer zombie be really amazing?
I was gonna do a filksong about botflies, but the only music I could think of was the theme song from the old Adam West “Batman” show… so I gave up. Consider yourself fortunate…
It occurs to me to wonder how much of what’s going on here may be part of A-Sig’s inscrutable plan. A-Sig is the only entity that we know had some sample of Cypress, and they’re also behind U.N.I.T.Y…. Artie feels responsible, for unclear reasons, for things going “wrong” above, but superintelligent or not he could be mistaken…
Don’t Google “Botflies.”
Or wiki. Don’t wiki them, either.
Well, there’s my nightmare fuel for the day.
I watched a documentary about them when I was twelve. I still mhave a fear of them to this very day.
Reminds me of Shadow child from Digger, who hatched from a dead bird.
“I was sad to leave it. But it was small, and the blowflies were getting awfully loud…”
I have seen worse… and no, I’m not telling what that “worse” is. Let’s just say that parasites are as imaginative in coming up with new ways to invade host bodies as they are disgusting and leave it at that.
I think the figure was that around 10% of all species in existence are not parasites.
Why not both? You just need to dress two of those botflies as a little angel and a little devil…
Because, if you knew what botflies are, you’d know that they’re simply the devil.
I know what botflies are. They are only “the devil” from the perspective of something that is not a botfly.
I can safely say that nothing in any ecosystem would miss botflies if they were systematically extincted…
And while we’re on the topic, I call for the systematic extinction of candiru as well… and Ophiocordyceps unilateralis for that matter.
Actually, I could go on listing various organisms I find highly objectionable AND safely disposable for ages… but I think I’ve covered some of the worst ones.
Add “kuru” to that list, if you please. If you know what it is, you probably understand why I want it eradicated.
Kuru isn’t an organism, it’s a transmissible mutation.
More importantly, The Emperor KNOWS botflies, and these are not botflies.
It is just a young, innocent, sentient swamp looking for sustenance. KILL IT WITH FIRE!
Or feed it Seymore. Whatever. Smart Unity preferred the herbicide option.
Where is the hat off to? And what is it up to?
I don’t know if I trust Smart Unity when it comes to moral decisions.She usually prefers the tactic that will most efficiently neutralize the threat, rather than the one that will end the threat with the best possible outcome for everyone.
Ewww… Sweetheart, just give up on ever having sexy time with Unity. Trust me. You don’t want any of that.
Given some of the stuff dogs’ll roll in, maybe it’s a turn-on.
tune: “Give a Little Whistle,” Leigh Harline & Ned Washington, Pinocchio, 1940
When I think of killing,
Though I don’t know right from wrong,
I get a weird buzzing
I get a weird buzzing
Venus tried to off me
So the urge is very strong
Still I get a buzzing
I get a weird buzzing
This strange sensation is like a botfly’s bite
If KT’s potion works, well
That’s what we’re here for
Right?
Emperor Norton the First
Says bugs aren’t in my hide
When I get a buzzing
I get a weird buzzing
Instead I feel a conscience deep inside
(TUNE: “My Guy”, Mary Wells)
What’s that in my ear?
The buzzing that I hear
Is botflies!
Just ’cause I’m undead
The noises that I hear
Are botflies!
When I found out that the swamp just wants some food,
Then there’s something in me feeling … not good!
It tells me this isn’t right!
Though in truth, it just might
Be botflies!
Could the buzzing be my conscience? My moral sense?
The dirt in here has got like zero nu-tri-ents!
In the darkness of the sewer, it just won’t thrive …
The poor thing simply wants to stay alive!
Could this feeling be
The kinder side of me,
Or botflies?
Spraying herbicide
Until it all has died
Is not wise!
If it’s sentient, we have to help, of course!
That’s the mission here of Project … Skin Horse!
If we give it what it lacks,
We both can share a snack
Of botflies!
Drat drat drat … that line is supposed to be, “Juat ’cause I’m undead, the noises IN MY HEAD …”
It may be that UNITY is simply against any solution where she doesn’t get the fun of combat!
No, Unity realized that the swamp is just like any other zombie: looking for brains in the drains to survive
Been reading for only a month or so, finally decided to start commenting 😀
@Guesticus: I read “looking for brains in the drains to survive” and thought “It’s the eye of the tiger!” 😀
Unity and the swamp both remember their lessons well:
“The brains to obtain are mainly in the drains”.
Uh oh. I hear consciences are contagious.
And so are things that kill consciences.
hmmm …. zero nutrients?
So if they could give the Swamp some nutrients, it might stop attacking people?
Now, if only there was a large supply of fertilizer around that they could use?
Maybe in (underground) ponds, or even better, just flowing nearby and some could be diverted to where the Swamp needs it 🙂
Ah, but alas, where are they going to find anything like that in a sewer?
😉
Y’know, I was going to ask about that. It would seem that there might be too many nutrients in that area. Ah, well, mad science stories trump logic.
This may not be as easy as it sounds. If you feed the sewer zombie nutrients, it will grow, needing a larger supply of liquid and nutrients. Simply feeding it the sewage doesn’t solve the problem, just postpone it until you’ve got a sewer zombie that is even bigger.
No, the real solution is to transplant it into a big pot, so that it won’t keep growing. You could even trim it decoratively. No, really.
Wouldn’t a bonsai sewer zombie be really amazing?
Bonsai creeps me out. It’s the plant equivalent of foot binding. I wouldn’t wish that seven on Venus.
“even on Venus.” Poop.
What if they mulched brains from the Brain-O-Mat, would that be the perfect fertilizer for a Zombie Swamp?
I was gonna do a filksong about botflies, but the only music I could think of was the theme song from the old Adam West “Batman” show… so I gave up. Consider yourself fortunate…
Not the song that follows the “rain in Spain” line, of course, but the one that jumps up to be filked. This is the Swamp’s moment.
(Tune: “Wouldn’t It Be Loverly”, Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe)
All I want is some soil somewhere,
Far away from this fetid air,
With nutrients to spare,
Now, wouldn’t that be swamperly?
Lots of zombies for me to eat,
Lots of sun making lots of heat.
Warm roots, warm trunks, warm peat,
Now, wouldn’t it be swamperly?
Now, so swamperly sittin’ abso-bloomin’-lutely still.
I would never budge ’till you crept o’er a nearby hill.
Some undead hanging from a tree,
Lurching onward where they can see,
Who take commands from me,
Now, wouldn’t it be swamperly?
Note: I’m pretty sure that Lerner and Loewe made up the word “loverly”. So I can make up “swamperly”.
Eddurd, how are you getting indentation in your filks? Everything I tried got me a silly “Invalid security token” error message. Thanks.
Hey, she *did* claim the feeling was “weird”. If she felt botflies were *normal* that’d be something else.
Yeah, more of the “Rains in Spain fall mainly on the plains” than “Eye of the Tigger” 😀
It occurs to me to wonder how much of what’s going on here may be part of A-Sig’s inscrutable plan. A-Sig is the only entity that we know had some sample of Cypress, and they’re also behind U.N.I.T.Y…. Artie feels responsible, for unclear reasons, for things going “wrong” above, but superintelligent or not he could be mistaken…