It would seem that St. Charlie’s zombies have abandoned the hunter-gatherer period, bypassed the agricultural and industrial periods altogether and cut right to mass consumerism.
Shaenon and Jeff have apparently heard of the old “Automat” chain — essentially, a vending-machine restaurant, where the machines held real food such as sandwiches and . I got taken to a NYC one back when I was a little kid, but AFAIK the chain folded (killed by true fast-food) and no such restaurants exist anymore (at least in the USA — Wikipedia says there are still such things in the Netherlands and Japan).
They never stopped having ’em in Japan; hot soup, onigiri (rice rolls with filling, usually), Americanized stuff like hotdogs or french fries, even takoyaki– all sorts of stuff. I saw them in Tokyo, Hiroshima, Kyoto and a bunch of smaller cities. Pretty cool and really *great* when you’re traveling!
Hence the dull Federation-mandated eating area on Deep Space Nine, which no-one goes to even though it’s presumably free because Quark’s and the Klingon restaurant are much more interesting, is the Replimat.
Automats are were you are supposed to take displaced time-travelers who show up in your office claiming it is theirs. Just don’t show them your felt-tip pens.
Theodore Sturgeon’s 1971 “Dazed” was where I first heard of the Automat. Boy that was a pretty tough google, as all I could remember was that it was a story about a time-travellor who is taken to the Automat because it would be comforting and that the time-traveler was impressed with a felt tip pen (which I hadn’t realized hadn’t been until the mid to late fifties.) I hadn’t realized the automat had closed down *20 years ago!!!!* I had eaten there once.
(TUNE: “Too Fat Polka”, Ross MacLean & Arthur Richardson)
I’m a little ebulent when I let out a moan!
Not a monotone
When I lurch alone!
But when I’m with my fellow zombies, then I’m in the zone!
When we snack,
There’s no lack!
Now listen to me groan!
Oh, yes I want it! Gotta have it!
Brain-O-Mat for me!
Far as eye can see!
Buy one, get one free!
Yes I want it! Gotta have it!
Brain-O-Mat for me!
On this train,
Can’t complain!
Brain-O-Mat for me!
Nothing’s lacking,
You can tell ’em,
When I’m snacking
On a ce-re-bel-lum!
Yes I want it! Gotta have it!
Brain-O-Mat for me!
Low in fat!
Can’t beat that!
Brain-O-Mat for me!
Basically yes! Funny thing is, I first encountered that company name not through any references to automat diners, but via the Concerto for Horn and Hardart by P.D.Q. Bach.
P.D.Q. Bach used to perform on Milwaukee every year, and I always hung out to meet him afterward. There’s a lot of stuff that I would never have heard of if not for him. Peter Schickele’s a genius!
“Calves brains cooked in a major way – Majorcan style. Braised with vinegar and chicken stock, then baked in an egg cream. Be smart – try brains. You might just fall in love.”
tip o’ the hat to allrecipes.com
Ingredients
1 pound calves’ brains
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
salt and pepper to taste
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 onion, chopped
1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
1 1/4 cups chicken stock
2 egg yolks
2/3 cup heavy whipping cream
Directions
1. Remove skin and any nasty-looking pieces from calves’ brains. Rinse in cold running water and pat dry with paper towels. Sprinkle with flour and season with salt and pepper to taste.
2. In a large skillet, heat oil over medium high heat. Add onion and saute until translucent. Add seasoned brains and brown slightly all over. Add vinegar and stock, reduce heat to low and let all simmer, covered, for 30 minutes.
3. Remove brains from skillet. Slice them and place slices in a 9×13 inch baking dish. Cook skillet juices rapidly to reduce. Meanwhile, preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
4. Strain skillet liquid. In a small bowl beat egg yolks and mix with with the cream. Whisk mixture into skillet sauce. Pour sauce over brains and heat through in the preheated oven for 10 to 15 minutes.
To the tune of “Gangsta’s Paradise”, or whatever. I heard it on a radio once. I have no idea who made it.
Though I lurch through aisles of a magical train,
I take a look at the guys, and realize we’re craving brains!
But, hey! We’re zombies, and that’s kind of our thing;
Because every day we’re eat-ing and shuf-fl-ing.
…[don’t remember this part of the song and I’m running late this morning]…
We’re left to our own device,
Living in an undead paradise!
The lurch coach is oh so nice,
Living in an undead paradise!
Eat a cerebellum
(Perfect for a zombie)
Get ’em at a discount
Next to Abercrombie!
Oh gods. There’re gonna be Nacho-&-Cheez Flavored Brains and Low-Cal Brains and Healthy Organic Brains (more expensive, of course) and tofu ‘Braynz’ for vegan zombies and retro ‘Soylent Green’ brains (with cane-sugar!) and little high-protein individually wrapped minibrains for that Zombie On The Go, aren’t there? **DREAD**
…..I shouldn’t have written this while eating lunch. Now I’m hungry again. -__-
To quote ‘Zombies on Your Lawn’, the final tune from the ‘Plants vs. Zombies’ videogame,
Brains are quite rich in cholesterol
You’re dead so it doesn’t matter,
Unity must hate that game.
These zombies are kind of annoying. But video games have taught me EXACTLY how to handle that. (::selects Flamethrower as his Primary Weapon and Rocket Launcher as his Secondary::)
Why is there never a Brain-o-Mat around me whenever I get inspired? It would be so much easier that sending out one or more of my minions to steal brains for my latest project, that’s for sure!
It would seem that St. Charlie’s zombies have abandoned the hunter-gatherer period, bypassed the agricultural and industrial periods altogether and cut right to mass consumerism.
BrainOmat? Sounds like a place to get your brainwashing done.
Shaenon and Jeff have apparently heard of the old “Automat” chain — essentially, a vending-machine restaurant, where the machines held real food such as sandwiches and . I got taken to a NYC one back when I was a little kid, but AFAIK the chain folded (killed by true fast-food) and no such restaurants exist anymore (at least in the USA — Wikipedia says there are still such things in the Netherlands and Japan).
Correction: it seems there’s a current revival of the idea in NYC, a place called BAMN!
They never stopped having ’em in Japan; hot soup, onigiri (rice rolls with filling, usually), Americanized stuff like hotdogs or french fries, even takoyaki– all sorts of stuff. I saw them in Tokyo, Hiroshima, Kyoto and a bunch of smaller cities. Pretty cool and really *great* when you’re traveling!
We have a chain of ’em in the Netherlands as well, called FEBO.
Hence the dull Federation-mandated eating area on Deep Space Nine, which no-one goes to even though it’s presumably free because Quark’s and the Klingon restaurant are much more interesting, is the Replimat.
Automats are were you are supposed to take displaced time-travelers who show up in your office claiming it is theirs. Just don’t show them your felt-tip pens.
Theodore Sturgeon’s 1971 “Dazed” was where I first heard of the Automat. Boy that was a pretty tough google, as all I could remember was that it was a story about a time-travellor who is taken to the Automat because it would be comforting and that the time-traveler was impressed with a felt tip pen (which I hadn’t realized hadn’t been until the mid to late fifties.) I hadn’t realized the automat had closed down *20 years ago!!!!* I had eaten there once.
Well, lurching while moaning “Sammiches” doesn’t have quite the same effect…
I dunno. After all, sammiches require bread. And bread is made from
GRAAAAAAAAAINS…
And that pun is made of
GROOOOOOOOANS…
I apologize if my puns are causing PAAAAAAAAAINS.
But what a sandwich zombie really needs is… BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
Bad Sparks! No cookies!
vegetarian zombies?
Did they prank call evil inc?
Zombie plumber unplugs your draaiins.
Zombie Water Dept. service man checks your MAAAAAAAAAINS…
Zombie engineer drives your TRAAAAAAINS.
Zombie pilot flies your PLAAAAANES.
The Great Brain Robbery!
(TUNE: “Too Fat Polka”, Ross MacLean & Arthur Richardson)
I’m a little ebulent when I let out a moan!
Not a monotone
When I lurch alone!
But when I’m with my fellow zombies, then I’m in the zone!
When we snack,
There’s no lack!
Now listen to me groan!
Oh, yes I want it! Gotta have it!
Brain-O-Mat for me!
Far as eye can see!
Buy one, get one free!
Yes I want it! Gotta have it!
Brain-O-Mat for me!
On this train,
Can’t complain!
Brain-O-Mat for me!
Nothing’s lacking,
You can tell ’em,
When I’m snacking
On a ce-re-bel-lum!
Yes I want it! Gotta have it!
Brain-O-Mat for me!
Low in fat!
Can’t beat that!
Brain-O-Mat for me!
the last panel makes me incredibly happy
Is that an authentic Horn and Hardart Brain-o-mat?
Basically yes! Funny thing is, I first encountered that company name not through any references to automat diners, but via the Concerto for Horn and Hardart by P.D.Q. Bach.
P.D.Q. Bach used to perform on Milwaukee every year, and I always hung out to meet him afterward. There’s a lot of stuff that I would never have heard of if not for him. Peter Schickele’s a genius!
Majorcan Style Brains
by Penny
“Calves brains cooked in a major way – Majorcan style. Braised with vinegar and chicken stock, then baked in an egg cream. Be smart – try brains. You might just fall in love.”
tip o’ the hat to allrecipes.com
Ingredients
1 pound calves’ brains
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
salt and pepper to taste
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 onion, chopped
1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
1 1/4 cups chicken stock
2 egg yolks
2/3 cup heavy whipping cream
Directions
1. Remove skin and any nasty-looking pieces from calves’ brains. Rinse in cold running water and pat dry with paper towels. Sprinkle with flour and season with salt and pepper to taste.
2. In a large skillet, heat oil over medium high heat. Add onion and saute until translucent. Add seasoned brains and brown slightly all over. Add vinegar and stock, reduce heat to low and let all simmer, covered, for 30 minutes.
3. Remove brains from skillet. Slice them and place slices in a 9×13 inch baking dish. Cook skillet juices rapidly to reduce. Meanwhile, preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
4. Strain skillet liquid. In a small bowl beat egg yolks and mix with with the cream. Whisk mixture into skillet sauce. Pour sauce over brains and heat through in the preheated oven for 10 to 15 minutes.
Just because you never can have enough pedantry…and yes, I’m in an office too, right now…
Just remember there’s enough cholesterol in brains to make every cardiologist within a 5 mile radius get the twitches.
What if there’s nothing left after I remove all the nasty-looking bits?
Yeah, I Google Imaged “calves brains.” Ain’t no not-nasty-looking, nowhere, nohow.
I’ve had Rocky Mountain Oysters. Calves’ brain sounds much tastier.
Braaaaains… Braaaaised…
To the tune of “Gangsta’s Paradise”, or whatever. I heard it on a radio once. I have no idea who made it.
Though I lurch through aisles of a magical train,
I take a look at the guys, and realize we’re craving brains!
But, hey! We’re zombies, and that’s kind of our thing;
Because every day we’re eat-ing and shuf-fl-ing.
…[don’t remember this part of the song and I’m running late this morning]…
We’re left to our own device,
Living in an undead paradise!
The lurch coach is oh so nice,
Living in an undead paradise!
Eat a cerebellum
(Perfect for a zombie)
Get ’em at a discount
Next to Abercrombie!
[got called to leave. This is all I have. Sucks.]
Coolio, “Gansta’s Paradise.”
But I much prefer Stevie Wonder’s “Pastime Paradise.”
Much more approprate is Wierd Al Yankovich’s “Amish Paradise”.
With any luck, we’re about to get a dose of smart!Unity! There is absolutely no way this can go wrong.
…traaaaaains…
Funny, I was thinking U.N.I.T.Y. with extra brains would (*not*) end well, especially with the way she was about to get them.
You totally should have a Casey and Andy cameo here!
I second the motion! This is the perfect setting for them.
In the style of C&A, the “Brain-O-Mat” would be either:
1. A cerebral vending machine, or
2. A plain ol’ brain with the words, “Brain-O-Mat” on it.
Oh gods. There’re gonna be Nacho-&-Cheez Flavored Brains and Low-Cal Brains and Healthy Organic Brains (more expensive, of course) and tofu ‘Braynz’ for vegan zombies and retro ‘Soylent Green’ brains (with cane-sugar!) and little high-protein individually wrapped minibrains for that Zombie On The Go, aren’t there? **DREAD**
…..I shouldn’t have written this while eating lunch. Now I’m hungry again. -__-
To quote ‘Zombies on Your Lawn’, the final tune from the ‘Plants vs. Zombies’ videogame,
Brains are quite rich in cholesterol
You’re dead so it doesn’t matter,
Unity must hate that game.
These zombies are kind of annoying. But video games have taught me EXACTLY how to handle that. (::selects Flamethrower as his Primary Weapon and Rocket Launcher as his Secondary::)
! Isthisleadingtozombiesex.
Why is there never a Brain-o-Mat around me whenever I get inspired? It would be so much easier that sending out one or more of my minions to steal brains for my latest project, that’s for sure!
Brains–not just for zombies any more!