Not to mention obtain the pot, the gun, the knife, the internet access… perhaps teleportation _is_ the answer, although I remain puzzled how they recharge their electronics in the woods. Perhaps an electricitree?
MacGruff tried to warn us of the danger of strange vegetable matter. Something about pots, as I recall. Sounded scary, but I wasn’t paying full attention.
(TUNE: “Sit Down, You’re Rocking The Boat” from Guys And Dolls, Frank Loesser)
We made a stop on our drive back from Hawaii,
But backwoods lilies, they captured us somehow!
They want revenge, so they threw us in a stewpot,
And I think that we’re in hot water now!
But I said to those plants, “We’re good,
We’re good for rocking the boat!”
Bloggers like us, we should,
We should be rocking the boat!
And I tell you, we’re through with stewing,
Where potatoes, carrots, and onions float!
Here’s what we’ll do!
A-one, a-two,
A-three! We’re rocking the boat!
We said we’d help all those backwoods lily-billies,
But they said no, and they mocked us scornfully!
It used to be, they could call on Project Skin Horse,
But that bureau’s gone, and now, so are we!
Because Nera and I, we said,
We said, “We’re rocking the boat!”
Run so we won’t be dead!
Instead, we’re rocking the boat!
We’re retreating and beating feet now!
Our survival chances are quite remote!
No time for fun!
He’s got a gun!
Let’s run! We’re rocking the boat!
I want everyone to imagine the recoil from a gun that weighs about eight pounds, firing a bullet at around 2,800 ft-lbf of energy, and what that will do to a group of plants that collectively weigh less than the gun and have no thumbs or shoulders. Although cartoon physics dictates that it won’t happen, I do think that outcome would be funny.
But we also need to know either the mass or velocity of the bullet to determine the momentum and energy transfer to the gun (p = sqrt(2Em) or p = 2E/v as you prefer)! Well, no we don’t, because we can just make reasonable assumptions; for instance, it looks like 3000 fps is a typical rifle bullet speed. But I had an irrational compulsion to mention it anyway.
Anyway, it appears that the consensus is that this is a highly realistic scenario that could happen to anyone at any time, and the question of how the heroes ended up in the pot has so many straightforward answers that we can be thankful the authors did not bore us with the details.
Today’s strip was so good, I had to make it a 3-filk day. Curse you, Shaenon, for causing me to filk a disco song…
To the tune of āRock the Boat,ā by the Hues Corporation
So Iād like to know if youāve got the notion
Thatās the same as mine, to get in motion
To rock the boat, letās rock the boat baby
Rock the boat, and tip the pot over
Rock the boat, I think that weād better
Rock the boatā¦
Ever since our long road trip began
We keep finding things that make us run like the wind
Your momās car has brought us, over land, under sea
But somehow it always comes down to danger, you and me
Our road trip has gone under the ocean,
And the lack of Skin Horse led us to this cooking commotion.
So Iād like to know if youāve got the notion
Thatās the same as mine, to get in motion
To rock the boat, letās rock the boat baby
Rock the boat, and tip the pot over
Rock the boat, I think that weād better
Rock the boatā¦
So far weāve seen creatures taking every form
But this cooking pot is really getting kind of warm
I think that we can work together and pull through
We have to get away from here, or be uneaten stew
Our road trip has gone under the ocean,
And the lack of Skin Horse led us to this cooking commotion.
So Iād like to know if youāve got the notion
Thatās the same as mine, to get in motion
To rock the boat, letās rock the boat baby
Rock the boat, and tip the pot over
[repeat and fade]
This seems about right for certain areas of Kentucky, Tennessee and West Virginia, and I can say that, I live in West Virginia. Course I dont sound so “Hillbilly like” cant say redneck because that term is wrong. Rednecks were coal miners that wore red bandanas around their neck during a strike/battle for better coal mining working conditions and more money.
Plenty of ’em in Arkansas, too. We call ’em “backwoods hicks”.
And you’re right – the term “redneck” is wrong. Like the song says, “what most people call a redneck, he ain’t nothing but a working man, and he makes his living by the sweat of his brow, and the callouses on his hands,” which is a pretty good description of those coal miners.
“Backwoods” is an interesting term. Do they live at the back of the woods? How do you tell which side of the woods is the back of the woods? And if there is a back, and they live in the back, doesn’t that make them less rural than someone who lives, say, in the middle of the woods? Is there also such a thing as frontwoods? What would that even be?
Well, at our house, we got a front woods in front of the house, and a back woods behind the house. Seems them backwoods hicks spend most of their time in the back woods, and not much time going to school.
Either that, or it was supposed to be “backwards” but none of ’em knew how to spell it.
“Get chased by hill-lillies (heh) with guns” is about #5 on the list of “things to do on your epic road trip”, IIRC.
Wait, if they can’t move, how did they catch the Inept Duo and stuck them in the pot in the first place? o_O
Still a great story though š
Maybe they forced them into the pot at gunpoint?
Not to mention obtain the pot, the gun, the knife, the internet access… perhaps teleportation _is_ the answer, although I remain puzzled how they recharge their electronics in the woods. Perhaps an electricitree?
Probably thought it was a hot tub till they added the vegetables.
“aww, you flowers are so cute! yes, we’ll do anything you ask us to!”
With difficulty
Tune: On Higher Ground (I’m Pressing on the Upward Way), music by Charles H. Gabriel, original lyrics by Johnson Oatman, Jr.
When bloggers rock out of a stew
Our boss gives orders to pursue
We try our best, but we have found
We’re planted firmly in the ground
Captives get free, we cannot run
Reluctantly, we turn to guns
We can’t give chase, our feet are bound
We’re planted firmly in the ground
(I know, it’s not much. I’m no Ed.)
Welcome to the Dark Side, young padawan.
I don’t know the tune, but “the green beret” worked just as well.
Guns don’t kill people – sentient backwoods plant life kills people.
MacGruff tried to warn us of the danger of strange vegetable matter. Something about pots, as I recall. Sounded scary, but I wasn’t paying full attention.
(TUNE: “Sit Down, You’re Rocking The Boat” from Guys And Dolls, Frank Loesser)
We made a stop on our drive back from Hawaii,
But backwoods lilies, they captured us somehow!
They want revenge, so they threw us in a stewpot,
And I think that we’re in hot water now!
But I said to those plants, “We’re good,
We’re good for rocking the boat!”
Bloggers like us, we should,
We should be rocking the boat!
And I tell you, we’re through with stewing,
Where potatoes, carrots, and onions float!
Here’s what we’ll do!
A-one, a-two,
A-three! We’re rocking the boat!
We said we’d help all those backwoods lily-billies,
But they said no, and they mocked us scornfully!
It used to be, they could call on Project Skin Horse,
But that bureau’s gone, and now, so are we!
Because Nera and I, we said,
We said, “We’re rocking the boat!”
Run so we won’t be dead!
Instead, we’re rocking the boat!
We’re retreating and beating feet now!
Our survival chances are quite remote!
No time for fun!
He’s got a gun!
Let’s run! We’re rocking the boat!
Once again the singly amazingness strikes. Has anyone considered doing an amv hell style collection of these things?
Frank Loesser would be so proud!
I want everyone to imagine the recoil from a gun that weighs about eight pounds, firing a bullet at around 2,800 ft-lbf of energy, and what that will do to a group of plants that collectively weigh less than the gun and have no thumbs or shoulders. Although cartoon physics dictates that it won’t happen, I do think that outcome would be funny.
Well, they seem to have a good stance at least, being firmly planted in place.
They appear to have greater strength than their frame should be able to provide. Also, they’re rooted in place.
But we also need to know either the mass or velocity of the bullet to determine the momentum and energy transfer to the gun (p = sqrt(2Em) or p = 2E/v as you prefer)! Well, no we don’t, because we can just make reasonable assumptions; for instance, it looks like 3000 fps is a typical rifle bullet speed. But I had an irrational compulsion to mention it anyway.
Anyway, it appears that the consensus is that this is a highly realistic scenario that could happen to anyone at any time, and the question of how the heroes ended up in the pot has so many straightforward answers that we can be thankful the authors did not bore us with the details.
I based my numbers on those typical of a .30-06 rifle.
Well, I guess they’d be doing their own picking!
If the think bloggers are just small potatoes…what would a stew be without some small potatoes?
Today’s strip was so good, I had to make it a 3-filk day. Curse you, Shaenon, for causing me to filk a disco song…
To the tune of āRock the Boat,ā by the Hues Corporation
So Iād like to know if youāve got the notion
Thatās the same as mine, to get in motion
To rock the boat, letās rock the boat baby
Rock the boat, and tip the pot over
Rock the boat, I think that weād better
Rock the boatā¦
Ever since our long road trip began
We keep finding things that make us run like the wind
Your momās car has brought us, over land, under sea
But somehow it always comes down to danger, you and me
Our road trip has gone under the ocean,
And the lack of Skin Horse led us to this cooking commotion.
So Iād like to know if youāve got the notion
Thatās the same as mine, to get in motion
To rock the boat, letās rock the boat baby
Rock the boat, and tip the pot over
Rock the boat, I think that weād better
Rock the boatā¦
So far weāve seen creatures taking every form
But this cooking pot is really getting kind of warm
I think that we can work together and pull through
We have to get away from here, or be uneaten stew
Our road trip has gone under the ocean,
And the lack of Skin Horse led us to this cooking commotion.
So Iād like to know if youāve got the notion
Thatās the same as mine, to get in motion
To rock the boat, letās rock the boat baby
Rock the boat, and tip the pot over
[repeat and fade]
Something tells me Chef Lillie doesn’t consider much of a shame at all.
This seems about right for certain areas of Kentucky, Tennessee and West Virginia, and I can say that, I live in West Virginia. Course I dont sound so “Hillbilly like” cant say redneck because that term is wrong. Rednecks were coal miners that wore red bandanas around their neck during a strike/battle for better coal mining working conditions and more money.
Plenty of ’em in Arkansas, too. We call ’em “backwoods hicks”.
And you’re right – the term “redneck” is wrong. Like the song says, “what most people call a redneck, he ain’t nothing but a working man, and he makes his living by the sweat of his brow, and the callouses on his hands,” which is a pretty good description of those coal miners.
“Backwoods” is an interesting term. Do they live at the back of the woods? How do you tell which side of the woods is the back of the woods? And if there is a back, and they live in the back, doesn’t that make them less rural than someone who lives, say, in the middle of the woods? Is there also such a thing as frontwoods? What would that even be?
Well, at our house, we got a front woods in front of the house, and a back woods behind the house. Seems them backwoods hicks spend most of their time in the back woods, and not much time going to school.
Either that, or it was supposed to be “backwards” but none of ’em knew how to spell it.