Five, four, three, two, one,
Tip is firing it up, now the plan’s begun!
We need Ginny back, that’s a fact, can’t lose her,
We need supplies to surprise and seduce her!
Candlelit dinner is a winner; did I mention
We need stuff to put Artie in detention?
Now here’s the gist of the list, and all that
Will regain the dame and Brain-O-Mat!
We need a little table set by the sea,
And drape it with a tablecloth daintily,
A couple of candles for sexy glow,
Some bacon-wrapped figs, arranged just so!
A sturdy set of cuffs, of steel, not gold!
A little bit of ether to knock him cold!
A handgun of the caliber thirty-eight …
For Unity, a typical dinner date!
At least with U.N.I.T.Y., when a relationship ends, she always retains something special from the experience. A memento, so to speak, to remember the guy by. Why, her last boyfriend contributed what is now her left knee! She’s a sentimental ghoul for sure.
I’m surprised that the possibility that ARTIE is the target of seduction. The detention supplies are part of the foreplay, and Ginny is the one to get gassed. Of course, Jeff and Shaenon wouldn’t write it that way. :\
Tip is annoyed at them both. He hasn’t said that either of them will leave this situation without an ether-nap. My head-canon is fully prepared to see Tip bring an adorable gerbil and scientist back one after the other, only for Artie to wake up just before nomming happens.
The only thing better than a handgun… Two handguns! Maybe he’s planning to challenge Artie to a duel over Virginia, the choice of weapons being handguns or therapy puppets?
Say… is that the Widow Norton? He is quite the queen. Can’t quite place the others of the retinue… Also… it seems to me that these are well-fed (i.e. reasonably cogent) zombies. What is their current source of brains?
..Tip, darling, you’re cute but you obviously have a LOT to learn…
First: leather shackles, preferably fur-lined, and the cute little heart-shaped padlocks to go with them. Less likely to chafe or leave nasty red marks.
Second: chloral hydrate or nitrous oxide. Ether is highly flammable, and rohypnol is illegal in most places.
Third: chocolate-covered bacon. Trust me–the savory saltiness of the bacon complements the sweetness of the chocolate amazingly well, and the chocolate is a known aphrodisiac, whereas dates, while healthy, aren’t.
{trying to look innocent, but not quite making it} Not that I would know anything about those sorts of things, nyao. Not kinky at all, oh, no, not little old me… {quickly hiding LARGE steamer trunk filled with BDSM gear in Storage Closet #5}
Are the bacon-wrapped figs part of the dinner setup or the detention supplies?
‘Cause, you know, Artie’s non-meat-eating status.
Also, Cholesterol..
Little known fact: Bacon wrapped figs were what the devil tempted Eve in the garden.
Well we knew it wasn’t rumaki.
(TUNE: “Mambo Number 5”, Lou Bega)
Five, four, three, two, one,
Tip is firing it up, now the plan’s begun!
We need Ginny back, that’s a fact, can’t lose her,
We need supplies to surprise and seduce her!
Candlelit dinner is a winner; did I mention
We need stuff to put Artie in detention?
Now here’s the gist of the list, and all that
Will regain the dame and Brain-O-Mat!
We need a little table set by the sea,
And drape it with a tablecloth daintily,
A couple of candles for sexy glow,
Some bacon-wrapped figs, arranged just so!
A sturdy set of cuffs, of steel, not gold!
A little bit of ether to knock him cold!
A handgun of the caliber thirty-eight …
For Unity, a typical dinner date!
That’s what she does on dates? Still sounds Worth it.
Almost any other character, and I would assume that “your boyfriends don’t last” meant “your boyfriends break up with you really quickly”
At least when UNITY breaks up,she pulls (and sews) herself together quickly.
Just remove the words “up with you” and it’s accurate.
At least with U.N.I.T.Y., when a relationship ends, she always retains something special from the experience. A memento, so to speak, to remember the guy by. Why, her last boyfriend contributed what is now her left knee! She’s a sentimental ghoul for sure.
I’m surprised that the possibility that ARTIE is the target of seduction. The detention supplies are part of the foreplay, and Ginny is the one to get gassed. Of course, Jeff and Shaenon wouldn’t write it that way. :\
Tip is annoyed at them both. He hasn’t said that either of them will leave this situation without an ether-nap. My head-canon is fully prepared to see Tip bring an adorable gerbil and scientist back one after the other, only for Artie to wake up just before nomming happens.
I’ve been married and out of the dating scene so long I can’t remember who gets tied up any more.
Doesn’t Tip have his own handgun? Or doesn’t it go with that dress?
The cuffs won’t work on Artie if he hiccups.
The only thing better than a handgun… Two handguns! Maybe he’s planning to challenge Artie to a duel over Virginia, the choice of weapons being handguns or therapy puppets?
As a gentleman Of taste tip would know that Pearl handled derringers Go with everything. Especially a little black dress like his.
Say… is that the Widow Norton? He is quite the queen. Can’t quite place the others of the retinue… Also… it seems to me that these are well-fed (i.e. reasonably cogent) zombies. What is their current source of brains?
Ether? Handcuffs? Bacon-wrapped figs?
..Tip, darling, you’re cute but you obviously have a LOT to learn…
First: leather shackles, preferably fur-lined, and the cute little heart-shaped padlocks to go with them. Less likely to chafe or leave nasty red marks.
Second: chloral hydrate or nitrous oxide. Ether is highly flammable, and rohypnol is illegal in most places.
Third: chocolate-covered bacon. Trust me–the savory saltiness of the bacon complements the sweetness of the chocolate amazingly well, and the chocolate is a known aphrodisiac, whereas dates, while healthy, aren’t.
{trying to look innocent, but not quite making it} Not that I would know anything about those sorts of things, nyao. Not kinky at all, oh, no, not little old me… {quickly hiding LARGE steamer trunk filled with BDSM gear in Storage Closet #5}