Skin Horse

By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
Color by Pancha Diaz
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2015-11-26
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2015-11-26

by shaenon on November 26, 2015 at 12:01 am
Chapter: Looking Glass Land
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Discussion (38) ¬

  1. BMunro
    November 26, 2015, 12:31 am | # | Reply

    Invade a friendly neighboring country [1] just to correct a niggling worry about strict legality? Yeah, she’s the acting President all right…

    [1] As far as she knows, anyway. I suppose Canada might be an poutine-fueled Evil Empire in this reality.

    • s854
      November 26, 2015, 8:35 am | # | Reply

      Would any government which wasn’t a poutine-fuelled Evil Empire want to be friendly with a USA run by Sweetheart and the Cypress?

      • BMunro
        November 26, 2015, 2:13 pm | # | Reply

        Isn’t “friendly” Canada’s default mode?

        • LearnedFool
          November 26, 2015, 5:44 pm | # | Reply

          Depends on the Prime Minister and those he appoints, the last one was a bit of an ass (Example: He tried to make taking in Syrian refuges contingent on him remaining PM), waiting to see what the new one is like.

    • Gyrre
      November 29, 2015, 2:40 am | # | Reply

      That reminds me, there’s some scandal involving the RCMP (The Mounties) right now/recently, isn’t there? I forget what it was. Possibly an excessive use of force charge, or was it supplying domestic terrorists with funds and materials FBI style during a sting operation (or was that the one in Britain/Austalia)?

  2. GMan003
    November 26, 2015, 12:36 am | # | Reply

    … would that actually work? If we conquered Canada would natural-born Canadian citizens be retroactively counted as natural-born American citizens? The only similar precedent I can find is the case of Barry Goldwater, born in the Arizona Territory prior to its statehood, who ran against Johnson. There was apparently only minor controversy over that, but that was someone born in an incorporated territory, not a foreign country later conquered. But it could be used as precedent that changes to the territorial status can retroactively grant natural-born status.

    Of course, the real issue is the age requirement. I really doubt even the Genetically-Engineered Super Battle Dog breed lives to be thirty-five. Has Sweetheart even resided in the United States for fourteen years?

    • M. Alan Thomas II
      November 26, 2015, 1:02 am | # | Reply

      Haven’t you ever heard of Dog Years?

    • EvilMidnightLurker
      November 26, 2015, 3:17 am | # | Reply

      Anyone living in territory at the time it becomes a State is treated as a natural-born citizen.

      Thus, as a resident of the Oregon Territory, Optimus Prime is eligible to be elected President.

      • Robert Nowall
        November 26, 2015, 5:34 am | # | Reply

        There were millions of Filipinos who were thus eligible when the Phillipines were US territory…probably still many elderly ones who still are.

      • Steven
        November 26, 2015, 6:44 am | # | Reply

        Er, no. Where’d you get that idea?

        Per the Insular cases, people born in incorporated territories are automatically citizens for having been born in the United States and subject to the jurisdiction thereof under the 14th Amendment; those born in unincorporated territories are not unless Congress has specifically extended birthright citizenship to the territory (now applying to all unincorporated territories except American Samoa).

    • Nentuaby
      November 26, 2015, 3:42 am | # | Reply

      If natural-bornness weren’t retroactive, nobody whatsoever would’ve been qualified to stand for the first nine presidential elections…

      • Steven
        November 26, 2015, 6:44 am | # | Reply

        Um, no. Natural-born-ness isn’t retroactive; the Constitution instead has a specific clause allowing “a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution” to become President.

        • Petra
          November 26, 2015, 6:23 pm | # | Reply

          Otherwise there’d have been no presidents!

    • Robert Nowall
      November 26, 2015, 5:35 am | # | Reply

      Two elections ago, one of the candidates was born in the Panama Canal Zone.

      • John Campbell
        November 26, 2015, 9:03 pm | # | Reply

        And, strangely, he’s not the one people are still insisting isn’t really an American citizen.

  3. M. Alan Thomas II
    November 26, 2015, 1:03 am | # | Reply

    So the original plan was to invade the U.S. from Canada, but finding herself in charge of the U.S., clearly the only option is to invade Canada instead.

    • Candace
      November 26, 2015, 1:18 am | # | Reply

      This. ^

    • Rex Vivat
      November 26, 2015, 6:28 am | # | Reply

      Huh. I didn’t even realize that this Sweetheart actually fulfilled her purpose.

    • darkstarling
      November 26, 2015, 11:04 am | # | Reply

      Ha! She is designed to conquer isn’t she. I always forget this too.

  4. Thelonereader
    November 26, 2015, 1:04 am | # | Reply

    XD Thank whatever deity you worship that I wasn’t the only one who thought the biggest problem was she was born in Canada.

  5. Frank
    November 26, 2015, 1:38 am | # | Reply

    Does annexation involve more brib… I mean, throwing down goat carcases?

    • greenknight32
      November 26, 2015, 2:33 am | # | Reply

      By now, they may need only tell Unity what they want Congress to do.

      • Frank
        November 26, 2015, 9:23 pm | # | Reply

        Ah, but will that work on the Canadian congresss?

    • Seph
      November 26, 2015, 7:25 am | # | Reply

      The goat carcasses were a bribe? I assumed they were voting members of Congress.

      • Frank
        November 26, 2015, 11:51 am | # | Reply

        Remember this congresss is “friends” with a tiger and goes “aroo”

      • John Campbell
        November 26, 2015, 9:04 pm | # | Reply

        Bribing your supporters with the carcasses of your opponents is just efficiency.

  6. Warren Terra
    November 26, 2015, 4:34 am | # | Reply

    “I don’t like it. We should annex Canada just to be sure”

    Oh, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve said that …

    • Robert Nowall
      November 26, 2015, 10:28 am | # | Reply

      Every time they’ve tried it ended in a draw. Though Canadians flock to southern climes, it appears they want to remain Canadian…

    • oneuniverse2
      November 26, 2015, 3:23 pm | # | Reply

      Shouldn’t we be annexed by Canada instead? Their system seems to work better.

  7. Robert Nowall
    November 26, 2015, 5:36 am | # | Reply

    Ooh. I can just feel the romantic tension. Why don’t they just get a room?

    • darkstarling
      November 26, 2015, 11:05 am | # | Reply

      So I’m not the only one thinking that? Good.

  8. Guesticus
    November 26, 2015, 8:16 am | # | Reply

    “Oh, we already did that!”

  9. Robert Nowall
    November 26, 2015, 12:58 pm | # | Reply

    Y’know, you need two thirds of the states to approve amendments, too. Or have they stopped asking for the approval of what’s outside the Beltway? (Oh, wait a minute, haven’t they already?)

    • oneuniverse2
      November 26, 2015, 3:22 pm | # | Reply

      The only approval they need nowadays is from corporate boardrooms.

    • Seph
      November 26, 2015, 7:29 pm | # | Reply

      I doubt you‘d find anything resembling a state government anywhere outside the walls of DC. Two thirds of zero is zero.

  10. Miyaa
    November 26, 2015, 1:18 pm | # | Reply

    So lobbyist prefer goat to sheep? Good to know.

    • Foradain
      November 27, 2015, 4:13 am | # | Reply

      They tried sheep. But Congress thought they were trying to pull the wool over their eyes.

  11. Kanta
    July 29, 2021, 1:44 am | # | Reply

    The congressional supermajority is one thing; they’re all in DC.
    How on earth did she get the states to ratify it?

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