Skin Horse

By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
Color by Pancha Diaz
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2014-04-26
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2014-04-26

by shaenon on April 26, 2014 at 12:01 am
Chapter: The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
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Discussion (42) ¬

  1. Jay Eff
    April 26, 2014, 12:09 am | # | Reply

    Scanning documents is her only joy.

    • maarvarq
      April 26, 2014, 2:49 am | # | Reply

      Not her only joy. She gets a kick out of filling them out in triplicate too.

      • Tetra Valent
        April 26, 2014, 3:07 am | # | Reply

        … in tan, lilac, and lavender, with hard-copy acknowledgement emails in steel gray, slate gray, california fog gray, pink with balloons around the edges, and freesia.

        • BrokenEye, the True False Prophet
          April 27, 2014, 3:36 am | # | Reply

          Don’t be absurd. Nobody would make carbon paper in a color as bright as freesia. Naples yellow is as bright as its gonna get, but it’ll probably end up being an offensively inoffensive beige.

          • Tetra Valent
            April 28, 2014, 6:07 pm | #

            Better tell Tip, then. (Someone hasn’t been following the hidden file story!)

  2. Shen Hibiki
    April 26, 2014, 12:22 am | # | Reply

    She’s adorable when she feels productive~

  3. Rex Vivat
    April 26, 2014, 1:14 am | # | Reply

    I like how she wrote Basement Dwellers capitalized.

  4. Brian-M
    April 26, 2014, 2:06 am | # | Reply

    No apostrophe on “Basement Dwellers”. That means Sweetheart is scanning the documents about the Basement Dwellers, and not any documents in the Basement Dweller’s possession.

    • M. Alan Thomas II
      April 26, 2014, 4:49 pm | # | Reply

      Hey, I missed the word “files” the first two times I read it and was very disturbed.

      • BrokenEye, the True False Prophet
        April 27, 2014, 3:38 am | # | Reply

        Oh good, it wasn’t just me.

        How would that even work, anyway? Is that a thing they can do?

  5. Tetra Valent
    April 26, 2014, 3:22 am | # | Reply

    They’re using Macs in that office?? No wonder they’re dysfunctional.

    (This post written on a MacBook Pro, soon to be replaced by a Debian box. At last, a PgDown key again!)

    • Andrew
      April 26, 2014, 8:37 am | # | Reply

      Debian Box? And if the only drawback for using a Mac is no page down key, I’d take it.

      • Miserichord
        April 26, 2014, 2:39 pm | # | Reply

        Debian Box – computer running Debian Linux operating system. Popular, stable open source freeware.

      • Tetra Valent
        April 26, 2014, 6:05 pm | # | Reply

        Oh, there’s much more. But for someone whose job involves editing and reading long documents, simply having convenient navigation keys is a huge time-saver. Those little usability things add up.

    • matt w
      April 28, 2014, 6:01 am | # | Reply

      I’m guessing this comment will never be seen, but “Fn-down arrow” works as page down.

      (I do feel tempted by Linux sometimes, but my work doesn’t support Linux and it’s easier for me to stick with what I know.)

      • Tetra Valent
        April 28, 2014, 6:05 pm | # | Reply

        In some applications. But it takes two hands, and I have been surprised how much it slows one down. That and the delete-that-is-really-a-backspace.

  6. mittfh
    April 26, 2014, 6:06 am | # | Reply

    Meanwhile, up on the roof (posted a few days ago but I’ve only just noticed)…
    https://nickzerhakker.wordpress.com/2014/04/23/40/

    “Poignant salamander-licking” and a punishment designed to curtail Tip’s libido 🙂

  7. Danny Sichel
    April 26, 2014, 8:02 am | # | Reply

    She’s literally pushing paper. And she’s literally doing it at the request of a sapient bee-colony, which puts her in the role of a drone.

    • Frank
      April 26, 2014, 1:05 pm | # | Reply

      What about the “government” part?

  8. Nitrox
    April 26, 2014, 8:12 am | # | Reply

    Working breed dog’s gotta work.

  9. jdreyfuss
    April 26, 2014, 9:09 am | # | Reply

    I see the Hot Goblins series is up to 23 books. And the company that puts them out is starting to run out of title ideas.

    I was gonna question why they didn’t have a scanner with a document feeder, but since Sweetheart appears to be using a pre-Intel PowerMac, I’m guessing they haven’t updated their equipment in a while.

  10. Shadowmehr
    April 26, 2014, 10:06 am | # | Reply

    Nice to see Gavotte knows her employees so well.

  11. robertnowall
    April 26, 2014, 10:21 am | # | Reply

    “I am the master of my fate / I am the captain of my soul.”

  12. Raiphin
    April 26, 2014, 11:26 am | # | Reply

    as an office drone who works next to and occasionally in the copy center my immediate thought was “AHH! On a single-page scanner?! PLEASE NO PLEASE. Get an all-in-one scanner/fax/copy machine! They’re very cheap now!”

    • roberttheaddled
      April 26, 2014, 2:14 pm | # | Reply

      Scan to PDF and the 3rd party PDF combining software are my greatest tools. DOWNSIDE is that the PDFs are not searchable. Need PDF printers to do that before merging.

      • Rex Vivat
        April 26, 2014, 2:23 pm | # | Reply

        Or run your PDF through an OCR tool.

        • M. Alan Thomas II
          April 26, 2014, 4:55 pm | # | Reply

          Y’know what I loved? Running my TIFFs of early edition copies of The Faerie Queene through a custom-coded OCR tool so it could read the old type well. (See link.)

      • JET73L
        March 14, 2015, 4:52 am | # | Reply

        Oh, man! That (and editing the resulting near-gibberish) was most of my job back when I worked for the university!

      • Sailorleo
        March 2, 2017, 11:46 pm | # | Reply

        They are perfectly searchable if you use the right software.

  13. Rob, Arbiter of Reality
    April 26, 2014, 3:18 pm | # | Reply

    What, Skin Horse couldn’t spring for a scanner with a sheet feeder‽

    • Yotz
      April 26, 2014, 4:12 pm | # | Reply

      They do. Her name is Sweetheart.

  14. Sewer Santa (ghost of)
    April 26, 2014, 5:32 pm | # | Reply

    Sweetheart deserves a huge bonus. No thumbs, no fingers, no wrists, yet she can type, pick up single sheets of paper, and push buttons. Clever dog! And, she can talk, too. (Yes, that bothered me at first, but I’d been having a rough day. Which, in retrospect, was a better day than what came after.)

  15. BMunro
    April 26, 2014, 6:38 pm | # | Reply

    Poor Sweetheart. I don’t think she’s capable of understanding the concept of “meaningless busywork.”

  16. wykstrad
    April 26, 2014, 7:52 pm | # | Reply

    I have no problem admitting that I would absolutely love doing this for several hours, so long as I was allowed headphones.

    • Rex Vivat
      April 26, 2014, 10:03 pm | # | Reply

      As long as there’s no time limit…

    • kicking_k
      April 27, 2014, 6:40 pm | # | Reply

      I have done pretty much exactly this for many hours as part of my job in a business archive. After a while you get into a rhythm…

  17. daibhidc
    April 27, 2014, 1:56 pm | # | Reply

    Is that a pin-up of Lassie next to the Goblin Brotherhood poster? Does she know Lassie was actually played by a male dog?

  18. dornbeast
    April 28, 2014, 3:04 pm | # | Reply

    (With apologies to the Beatles for doing this to Drive My Car.)

    I heard a dog say in a happy tone,
    “I’m not just a mindless drone!”
    An e-mail popped up, right on her display
    to tell her just what to do today…

    Sweetheart, you must scan these files,
    Yes, it’s gonna take a while
    Sweetheart, you must scan these files
    and keep them in order.

    She started scanning immediately
    said “I’m a captain of industry!”
    UNITY’s got coffee, she’s quite wired
    But watching Sweetheart makes her tired

    Sweetheart, you must scan these files…
    click-flip-and-scan-it, yeah!

    Sweetheart, you must scan these files…

    Before that dog had made it halfway
    A robot called her up with something to say
    The D of I had sent its best geeks
    To get files they’d needed for three weeks

    Sweetheart, you must scan these files…
    click-flip-and-scan-it, yeah! (x4, fading)

  19. Eddurd
    May 4, 2014, 8:24 am | # | Reply

    Very well done! (I don’t always get to filk on weekends, depends on how many chores the wife has lined up for me.)

  20. CyberSkull
    July 28, 2014, 10:21 am | # | Reply

    I did that kind of work at my last job. We used a Cannon scanner that could run hundreds of pages through in an hour. No way in hell any of use would have used a slow flatbed for that kind of work.

  21. darkshallfall
    August 6, 2019, 8:33 pm | # | Reply

    I had this job before, it didnt help the scanner was jamming every 5 minutes. @-@

  22. Knuckles
    January 25, 2022, 3:56 pm | # | Reply

    Gotta say, love thar calendar in the background.

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