On the Value of Editing
Channing: Hello, lovely readers. One of the things we like to do over at our Patreon blog is compare some of my original working scripts to the final version that appears in the comic proper. As my scripts make their way into thumbnail form, jokes that don’t work so well (or, as you may notice below, are more-or-less outright repeated from elsewhere in the run of the strip) are sanded down, extraneous content is edited out, and generally the whole affair is made a lot funnier. To help you see this process in action, I’d like to show you three weeks of raw script from “Figgs and Phantoms” (corresponding roughly to weeks seven through nine) as it originally appeared before Shaenon touched it at all. Hope you enjoy! If you like this sort of thing, please consider joining our Patreon at the appropriate pledge level.
Anyway, here’s the link to that original script: Welcome to the Orchard
Hope you enjoy!
Shaenon: Over the years I’ve gotten ruthless about culling Jeff’s scripts. Sorry, Jeff! We probably could have spent a little more time at the imaginary walnut farm, but I was eager to move the story forward.
Hm.
My hypothesis that Ao was faking ignorance seems to be disconfirmed . . .
(Unless that’s what they want me to think . . . ! ! !)
All cut content is considered noncanonical, if that helps.
Also if it helps, I was under the impression, from the way Shaenon drew the strip, that Ao genuinely had no knowledge of anything outside the woods. The VR was supposed to end there.
The Boardwalk could be a separate environment that somehow got linked to the Extirpation World, as someone has theorized, or it could be, as I suspect, that Gavotte really was the bug in the system, and the Boardwalk shouldn’t have existed at all. (Or it could turn out to be something else entirely.)
“I’m a thousand mile from home…and I don’t know where I am!”
As usual there are some interesting clarifications, and none of the material is bad, but Shaenon’s editing remains on point. Especially interesting is how straightforward this is in comparison to the finished product, both in little ways (Phoebe stating her background) and in large ones (the whole conversation with Mr. Green/Dr. Ao).
I do tend to write more on-the-nose and explicit than Shaenon does, who tends to work subtly and let the themes and worldbuilding happen a bit more organically. I try to let my themes and worldbuilding happen organically but when once I notice that it’s there, rarely do I resist the temptation to run a highlighter over it like six times.
I’m just wondering what the nightwings have to do with this. 😛
Absolutely nothing, other than that my desktop screenshot reveals my nerdity du jour. Unfortunately, I am so terrible at that game.
The nice thing about Pyre is that your actual skill really doesn’t matter. The gameplay is nothing to write home about (let’s face it, it’s a glorified game of netball); it’s Supergiant’s spectacular writing that makes it worth playing.
Silt Porridge: a notorious dish that Hedwyn has perfected to the upper limits of its capacity not to be terrible.
Honestly, fear of loss was my major hurdle, and why I waited about six months from purchase to play. The lack of save/load/repeat until perfect was so hard, but once I bit the bullet and played as the devs intended (admittedly on easy mode) it was an overwhelming emotional experience and I was ugly-crying by the epilogue.