Skin Horse

By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
Color by Pancha Diaz
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2018-08-21
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2018-08-21

by Jeffrey C. Wells on August 21, 2018 at 12:01 am
Chapter: Figgs and Phantoms
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Discussion (70) ¬

  1. Proxiehunter
    August 21, 2018, 12:06 am | # | Reply

    Well, the cuddle pumpkin has a point about Nick’s coworkers at least.

    • Robert Nowall
      August 21, 2018, 10:58 am | # | Reply

      Who doesn’t have coworkers who get on their nerves?

      • waynezombie
        August 21, 2018, 11:28 am | # | Reply

        Most co-workers can’t tear their own arm off. order it to either strangle or tickle you, then sew the arm back on. MOST.

        • Robert Nowall
          August 21, 2018, 5:23 pm | # | Reply

          Mostly it’s body odor. Too much perfume / cologne. Or not enough.

    • Guesticus
      August 21, 2018, 12:06 pm | # | Reply

      Was just about to say that 😀

  2. thejoemoose
    August 21, 2018, 12:07 am | # | Reply

    Yeah, he does sound like a video game villain: he’s monologuing.

    And we all know what happens then!

    • Nonanymous
      August 21, 2018, 1:49 am | # | Reply

      He kills a generic but named guy you earlier did a quest wiith, after which you are instructed to recover the five shards of the infinity sword. However, you will soon get distracted by a dozen sidequets, and will only finish the main quest by the time you have done every single bit of DLC?

      • waynezombie
        August 21, 2018, 11:29 am | # | Reply

        I wouldn’t know, I didn’t buy that sequel.

    • BRGR
      August 21, 2018, 12:21 pm | # | Reply

      The hero’s resolve weakens as he finally understands whose pawn he has been all along.

  3. awgiedawgie
    August 21, 2018, 12:40 am | # | Reply

    There is something to be said for Ira’s logic. Like anyone else who tries to keep Mad scientists in check, he sees that if left to their own devices, they would destroy the entire planet and everyone on it, including themselves.

    But it’s not so much the creatures they have created that are worrisome, it’s the scientists themselves, and that is what Ira – at least for the moment – seems to be overlooking. He even had some of them contained at The Institute, and we know how well that worked out. He could have given them all the Cure, but he didn’t, and at least two of them escaped – possibly more did in the confusion. The creatures can be turned good. The SH gang themselves are proof of that. But the scientists will keep trying to create bigger and more destructive weapons of mass chaos.

    • Bruce A Munro
      August 21, 2018, 1:41 am | # | Reply

      Perhaps he’s including mad scientists in the monsters category? And while there may have still been uncured mads at that point under Asig control, they could be all neutralized by now. After all, the escape (you are referring to the breakout employing a Mad Conestoga Wagon, right?) was deliberately allowed.

      In any event, Asig, at least judging from earlier statements made by Rosenkranz/Green to dumb minions, also wants the standard Dr. Doom global dictatorship. That’s not really justifiable, nor is killing people because of footwear infractions.

      • Towering Barbarian
        August 21, 2018, 7:58 pm | # | Reply

        The question there is how sincere are such statements? Do they necessarily reflect what he thinks or are they a way of keeping dumb minions who would like to be important in the standard Dr. Doom global dictatorship happy as they continue to work towards his ends rather than theirs? o_O

    • awgiedawgie
      August 21, 2018, 2:15 am | # | Reply

      Oh, I’m not saying I agree with him. But I can appreciate some of his thought processes.

      • Bruce A Munro
        August 21, 2018, 5:32 pm | # | Reply

        Not saying you are! Come to think of it, Asig is actually dependent on the continued existence of mad scientists for super-tech to do said conquering with – and Dr. Lee, of course, to reverse engineer it into a form that can be mass produced. Indeed, the Cure itself, IIRC, was originally invented by a mad – the senior Narbonic, right?

        • awgiedawgie
          August 21, 2018, 11:19 pm | # | Reply

          Helen Beta Narbon, actually (the younger one). She was developing it to cure Dave before he went fully Mad. Of course, she didn’t make it in time. The cure that The Institute was working with was most likely Helen’s original formula that created mundanes, not her new and improved formula that her & Dave’s daughter was (will be?) considering taking. Then again, that formula may not exist yet, depending on how many years have actually lapsed in the Narboniverse.

          Yes, Ira is in a bit of a pickle. He claims to want to wipe out Mad science to prevent it from wiping out the earth, but he needs Mad science to achieve his goals.

    • Frank
      August 21, 2018, 1:27 pm | # | Reply

      Now i’m wondering if Ira actually messed up the mirror world to prove his point

  4. casimir
    August 21, 2018, 1:03 am | # | Reply

    If Ira isn’t evil then why does his hair keep trying to grow horns?

    • Gyrre
      August 21, 2018, 9:52 am | # | Reply

      He’s the hero of his own story.

      Mostly though, his motivation his fear. He pretty much says so in today’s strip.

      • BRGR
        August 21, 2018, 12:25 pm | # | Reply

        I don’t believe a word he says, though.

        He is a mastermind, his views wouldn’t be so simplistic, not to mention demonstrably wrong, irreconcilable with what he himself knows.

        He is setting Nick up for something.

        • Daibhid C
          August 21, 2018, 3:30 pm | # | Reply

          If you think being intelligent makes people immune to believing simplistic nonsense, well, congratulations on managing to avoid Twitter :-).

          More seriously, this is pretty much exactly how “Violet” justified A-Sig’s actions to Tip (http://skin-horse.com/comic/focused-and/), so if it is a play, it would seem to be the only one he’s got.

          And, honestly, I’m not sure what Ira does know that tells him “Superhuman beings definitely aren’t a survival-level problem for humanity”. The Cypress nearly wiped out an entire city. GODOT could have killed us all by simply relabelling everything. Humanity only survived the Old War through sheer numbers.

          I mean, I think he is wrong, but more in an “even if that’s true, which it probably is, it doesn’t justify…” sort of way.

  5. Clifton
    August 21, 2018, 1:17 am | # | Reply

    Even so, calling him a platform seems a bit extreme.

    • Peter M Eng
      August 21, 2018, 1:41 am | # | Reply

      Well, he doesn’t meed the requirements to call him a SHOEHORN or a CANDLESTICK, so PLATFORM is probably the closest thing.

    • OneUniverse
      August 21, 2018, 12:53 pm | # | Reply

      I agree that referring to Ira as “platform” is a bit extreme, but dysfunctional app, ransomware, nor even destructive virus quite fit either.

  6. Jo Woodman
    August 21, 2018, 3:00 am | # | Reply

    I’m impressed that somehow the low detail cartoon drawing has actually taken on an evil appearance. I’m not sure how but this is not the adorable Ira of panels past.

    • This Guy I Know
      August 21, 2018, 8:42 am | # | Reply

      It’s Shaenon’s superpower. There’s a storyline in Narbonic which involves three characters temporarily taking on the same appearance. Amazingly, it was still possible to immediately tell which was which through posture and body language alone.

      • Pentrose Son of John
        August 21, 2018, 11:46 am | # | Reply

        Yeah, normally I have trouble telling characters in comics and cartoons apart but Shaenon’s so good with the body language and stuff that I don’t have trouble. And let’s not forget the drone and how the differences in posture and stuff making it possible to tell who was piloting.

        And the story line to which you refer was very well done,

      • WJS
        August 7, 2019, 5:05 am | # | Reply

        To be fair they were also wearing different outfits.

  7. David B Huber
    August 21, 2018, 3:20 am | # | Reply

    “Ladies, Gentlemen and sundry Beings, tonight on ‘New Wars for Old’ we are thrilled to be hosting a debate between Ira Rosenkrantz and H. T. on the topic ‘Resolved: Non-Humans Are An Extinction-Level Threat To Humans’. We’ll hear first from Mr. Rosenkrantz…”

    Ira: “Recent events highlight the inability of Humans and Monsters to co-exist…”
    H.T.: SLASH! ” I yield.”

    • irdburns
      August 21, 2018, 4:27 am | # | Reply

      More or less…

    • Shadowmehr
      August 21, 2018, 7:37 pm | # | Reply

      I would love to see that debate televised. Heck, I might spring for pay-per-view for it.

      • Towering Barbarian
        August 21, 2018, 8:01 pm | # | Reply

        In a way, so would I. According to the cast notes Ira survived an attempt by Unity to eat his brains. I’m willing to bet H.T. would be less of a challenge. ^_^

  8. irdburns
    August 21, 2018, 4:28 am | # | Reply

    Damn reality deviants…

    Which in this case means “those who refuse to accept the world is and always has been this weird”.

  9. EvilMidnightLurker
    August 21, 2018, 4:32 am | # | Reply

    Ira, good parents -want- their children to be smarter and stronger than they are.

    • Sheik
      August 21, 2018, 3:04 pm | # | Reply

      But the whole point is to continue the species. If weaker and dumber accomplishes that while smarter and stronger ensures extinction then so be it.

  10. Robert Nowall
    August 21, 2018, 10:36 am | # | Reply

    Who’d Nick meet who’s smarter? Always seemed none of the non-humans they met went back for a second helping of brains. (Except maybe Unity.)

    • Adam
      August 21, 2018, 11:20 am | # | Reply

      H.T. Is both deadly and smart, and Nick would have probably at least heard of him.

    • Ogden Wernstrom
      August 21, 2018, 12:53 pm | # | Reply

      Also in the super smart category, I think: Gavotte, Pavane, Artie, Whimsy, and the Jennifer Connelly AI. Moustachio/Hitty is mad scientist smart in evil mode, and not easy to crush with your thumbnail.The swamp is powerful and seems to have been nearly that smart before being damaged. The mad acronymizer was smart and dangerous while it lived. And are we absolutely sure we’ve plumbed the bottom of the water cooler? So, a fair number of entities that could go on quite the rampage if not for the vigilance of our modest hero.

      • Robert Nowall
        August 21, 2018, 2:45 pm | # | Reply

        I don’t know if I’d put Lovelace in that category, largely ’cause of her atrocious taste in men. Princess Whimsey was last seen selling dangerous VR tech to Anasigma. Pavane we only saw in a VR simulation. Artie Narbon keeps having clueless lapses. As for Ms. Waters, service is her only joy.

        Gavotte…well, yes.

        • awgiedawgie
          August 21, 2018, 3:32 pm | # | Reply

          You can’t discount Lovelace simply because of her taste in men. I have an IQ over 160, and yet have made atrocious decisions where women are concerned. Besides, Madblood created her, so it’s not like she had a choice with him (and she did eventually get herself emancipated from him). And Dave was a nice guy. Sure, he went Mad and deleted her, but once he came back down from his breakthrough, he apologized, and they parted amicably. So really, her choices in men haven’t been even as bad as my own choices in women.

          Whimsy is greedy, but that doesn’t mean she’s not dangerously intelligent. And being dangerously intelligent and greedy is a terrifying combination.

          Artie has his serious flaws, but he does have an IQ of 250, which makes him dangerous in itself, despite his stated desire to make the world a better place.

          Bubbles is the mystery contestant. With her limited vocabulary, it’s really hard to gauge just how smart she really is. There are autistic individuals who have trouble communicating, and yet they are exceptionally gifted in other areas. So I’m hopeful for her being instrumental in saving the day soon.

          ——

          As for Gavotte, I’m beginning to wonder if her plan all along has been to stop Mr. Green and his machinations, and she left Skin Horse voluntarily because she figured out who he was, and decided it would be easier to work against him if he wasn’t sitting right downstairs from her all day.

          Yet at the same time, I wonder if she has been working with him all along, and it was actually her that we saw in Sweetheart’s VR hell, impersonating her daughter (who, it might turn out, may not even exist).

          • Robert Nowall
            August 21, 2018, 5:27 pm | #

            With the short comment—I’ve run into some of the biggest idiots I’ve ever met at Mensa meetings (no, I’m not a member). High IQ doesn’t mean horse sense.

            (Plenty of idiots with low IQs out there, too.)

    • Candace
      August 22, 2018, 1:58 am | # | Reply

      I’m pretty sure the person speaking in the third panel is “Ira”/Mr. Green, not Nick. He’s trying to sell Nick on his master plan, and apparently thinks this could still work, even though he started off by calling Nick a freak, because, you know, name-calling is a great way to get people on your side.

  11. Towering Barbarian
    August 21, 2018, 11:36 am | # | Reply

    The interesting thing here is that he’s trying to justify himself to Nick. Either there are limits to what the code phrases can do and he thinks he needs to be on Nick’s good side soon or else he’s hoping to recruit Nick willingly. @_@

    • JET73L
      August 21, 2018, 11:56 am | # | Reply

      I think he might think of Nick as still human, and thus worthy/capable of giving snd receiving sympathy.

      • JET73L
        August 21, 2018, 12:05 pm | # | Reply

        *and

        (He calls Nick a freak, but it can be interpreted as “a human who was regrettably twisted into a freak for my glorious purposes” rather than fully dehumanizing him.)

        I wonder what Green would think of Nick’s safeguards being compared to the limiters in *Harrison Bergeron*. Insulted? Complimented? Confused by someone comparing something as disparate as apples and orange safety vests? I very much hope that there’s a parallel between that story and how the safeguards are affecting Nick.

    • Robert Nowall
      August 21, 2018, 2:46 pm | # | Reply

      Actually I think he likes him. Maybe we’re headed for a big reveal. “Nick…I am your father…”

      • Micher
        August 21, 2018, 3:25 pm | # | Reply

        Hmm. He saved Nick’s life by getting him transferred to SH. The obvious assumption is that he thought Nick would be useful to him; but there are other possible motives.

      • awgiedawgie
        August 21, 2018, 3:35 pm | # | Reply

        Hmmm…. if it turns out that Ira is Nick’s father, how would Nick react?

        • Robert Nowall
          August 21, 2018, 5:24 pm | # | Reply

          With a string of censored obscenities, no doubt.

    • George the Archon
      August 21, 2018, 6:23 pm | # | Reply

      Well, we _have_ seen Nick escape from the full ‘Whirligig’ lobotomy-brsinwahing in the mirror universe – and this version seems less extreme (while possibly being more cruel in the longer term).

      To be specific, we’ve seen him be _annoyed_ back into self-control. By the aggravating assertions of his pilot, no less.

  12. JET73L
    August 21, 2018, 11:54 am | # | Reply

    > Reality is more complex than your video games.
    > Nonhuman sophonts are monsters and an inherent threat to humanity, no exceptions.

    Video games surpassed the moral complexity of your reality decades ago, Green.

    • BRGR
      August 21, 2018, 12:38 pm | # | Reply

      An argument can be made there. Sure, dividing people into monsters and humans seems manichaean, deontological even, but it is not necessarily so.

      What Ira may be getting at is that talking animals like cute turtles or hungry tigers will drive humanity to extinction just because they can, perhaps even unintentionally but inevitably, as in Vernor Vinge’s story Victory by Default, to the detriment of everyone involved.

      In such a scenario the question is not whether human rights should apply to non-humans, but how humans can retain any rights at all.

      Although the impression I get is that what Ira is getting at is that he wants to preserve the status quo, in which men like him are the undisputed masters, and monsters are at their mercy. To the detriment of everyone involved.

    • OneUniverse
      August 21, 2018, 12:58 pm | # | Reply

      And yet some people still treat reality as less morally complex than video games, and their followers follow like a cult, despite evidence to the contrary.

  13. MauveCloud
    August 21, 2018, 12:49 pm | # | Reply

    Nick, maybe you should remind him of that saying about those who fight monsters.

    • awgiedawgie
      August 21, 2018, 1:27 pm | # | Reply

      Would that be “The way to catch a monster is to be a bigger monster”?

  14. Ogden Wernstrom
    August 21, 2018, 3:05 pm | # | Reply

    Breaking news — I just happened upon the character sheet from book one, and I noticed the “observer” lets drop a lot of information about himself. Reading between the lines, he’s Mr. Green, and he’s also older, American, ex-military, and commonly present at Annex One. That leaves Shelby, Ira, or some rando, and the third possibility would have been unsporting. I’m starting to think Ira might be Mr. Green.

    • awgiedawgie
      August 21, 2018, 3:46 pm | # | Reply

      Glad you could join us. Would that character sheet look like the cast page here on the website, by chance?

      “starting to think”…?

  15. Moe Lane
    August 21, 2018, 3:05 pm | # | Reply

    The banality of evil, on full display. I expected more out of you than slightly less glowy Illusive Man rants, Ira*. And if reality blindness is so damned wonderful, why didn’t you take a dose of killjoy yourself?

    I know the answer, of course: the Cause. Bad men always use that excuse to not practice what they preach. Including the ones who formally protest that they’re not bad.

    *Not complaining about the writing, of course.

    • WJS
      August 7, 2019, 5:12 am | # | Reply

      Wow, that’s one hell of a misinterpretation! How on earth do you figure he thinks reality blindness is a good thing or would ever want it himself?

  16. Robert Nowall
    August 21, 2018, 6:27 pm | # | Reply

    I’m not the bad man!
    But there’s some moral complexity.
    I’m not the bad man!
    But there’s some moral complexity.

    Back at Skin Horse Annex One,
    They’re together and they’ve conferred.
    They’ll say they want to say I’m guilty
    For the stealing of a whirlybird.
    For the sake of a whirlybird, but I say,

    I’m not the bad man!
    But I swear my reasoning was good.
    I’m not the bad man!
    But they didn’t understand just where I stood.

    No one at Skin Horse suspected me.
    They saw a brainless schmo.
    Every time that they talked to me
    They thought that I didn’t know.
    They thought that I didn’t know, I say,

    I’m not the bad man!
    But there’s some moral complexity.
    I’m not the bad man!
    But there’s some moral complexity.

    Party at the base
    And I gave my balloon to Tip.
    All of a sudden I was taking a trip.
    Time now to make a skip.
    It was time, was time to skip, I say,

    I’m not the bad man!
    But there’s some moral complexity.
    I’m not the bad man!
    But there’s some moral complexity.

    Buttermilk pancakes got control of him.
    Rice Krispies took out his free will.
    Whispering honey to a two-headed cat
    But some day the filter will run out.
    Yes, some day the filter will run out, but I say,

    I’m not the bad man!
    But there’s some moral complexity, oh, yes.
    I’m not the bad man!
    But there’s some moral complexity, oh, yes.

    —from “I Shot the Sheriff,” Bob Marley

  17. Robert Nowall
    August 21, 2018, 6:28 pm | # | Reply

    Darn. Forgot part of a line. “Party at the base got the better of me.”

  18. Shadowmehr
    August 21, 2018, 7:43 pm | # | Reply

    Mr. Green, Mr. Rosencrantz, Mr. whomever-you-are-this-week, if I may offer a bit of advice – when trying to get people to follow your Grand Plan, it helps not to call them “freak” to their face plates. Just a suggestion. Take it as you will.

    • awgiedawgie
      August 21, 2018, 11:28 pm | # | Reply

      With that simple comment to Nick, he could be betraying that he thinks of any non-humans – no matter how useful they may be at the moment – as less than human.

      It could prove useful for Nick to remember that little detail.

      • Robert Nowall
        August 21, 2018, 11:52 pm | # | Reply

        Nick is human, or was once. Despite his disgusting choice of lifestyle and behavior, he was once a human being. (And being transmogrified into a helicopter doesn’t change that.)

        • Candace
          August 22, 2018, 2:22 am | # | Reply

          Nick has come to self-identify as as VTOL aircraft. Although he was once human, and runs on a human brain, he made it very clear to Panoptica that he no longer considers himself human. (She basically ignored him, probably because he was far too valuable an asset for them to lose.)

          • Towering Barbarian
            August 22, 2018, 4:32 am | #

            More like brainwashed into thinking of himself as a helicopter. He’s still in love with Ginny and that’s not going to work out if he doesn’t learn to get past the brainwashing. It’s possible that Ira arranged for that brainwashing as a way of getting rid of a rival, I suppose. @_@

          • Towering Barbarian
            August 22, 2018, 7:01 am | #

            Although I suppose one way to handle it if Nick doesn’t want to stop being a vehicle would be to hack Ginny’s brain out of her body, give her the same brainwashing Nick got and then put her in a matching aircraft so they could be together that way. But while that would be justice in a way since Ginny’s the reason Nick doesn’t have a human body anymore I still think that might be a bit rough on her! >_>

          • Robert Nowall
            August 22, 2018, 9:36 am | #

            I just read that the Cairo Zoo painted zebra stripes on a donkey and identified it as a zebra. Just ’cause somebody says something is so doesn’t make it so.

          • awgiedawgie
            August 22, 2018, 11:30 am | #

            Regardless of how he got that way, Nick IS a helicopter, and he identifies HIMSELF as a helicopter. It’s not the same as a zoo saying that a donkey is a zebra. The donkey still thinks it’s a donkey. The only living organism left is Nick’s brain. But he has been integrated into the entire craft – the whole helicopter IS Nick. Even though the brain CAME from a human, you really can’t say that HE is human any more.

  19. Darwin Smith
    January 26, 2019, 1:55 pm | # | Reply

    Nick’s right. Ira’s totally channeling The Illusive Man right now.

  20. Rejutka
    March 15, 2021, 11:00 am | # | Reply

    Ira: “Monsters are a fundamental threat to mankind.”
    Can I get a “Well, duh?”
    The only problem I see here is that he tries to imply that being part of mankind automatically means you’re not a monster.
    While the truth is that being a monster is more a state of mind rather than body.

    We *know* that humans can be monsters (even if we’d like to pretend they were demons in disguise). And in this comic we’ve seen enough non-human sapients who are anything but monsters.

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