Skin Horse

By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
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2015-05-06
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2015-05-06

by Jeffrey C. Wells on May 6, 2015 at 12:01 am
Chapter: Mixed-Up Files
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Discussion (42) ¬

  1. Anderson
    May 6, 2015, 6:29 am | # | Reply

    I assume this particular madblood went mad from people continually asking him how to pronounce his name.

  2. nealbirch
    May 6, 2015, 6:37 am | # | Reply

    madbloods reproduce?

    • Valerie Kaplan
      May 6, 2015, 8:52 am | # | Reply

      Somehow, yes. (It is known from one of the short stories that Lupin Madblood’s father was Felix Madblood and was also a killer-robot man.) The fact that the Helens Narbon have traditionally cloned themselves and therefore taken the need for relationships out of the equation is actually LESS disturbing.

      • John Campbell
        May 6, 2015, 4:52 pm | # | Reply

        And we did, of course, meet Lupin’s mom in Narbonic.

  3. Sorcyress
    May 6, 2015, 7:15 am | # | Reply

    Oh yes, I am pleased by this development!

  4. irdburns
    May 6, 2015, 7:30 am | # | Reply

    So do we get the Victorian Narbon Dave and Mel too? Hmm? Do we? Please?

    • Mike
      May 6, 2015, 7:42 am | # | Reply

      Is this before or after Mars?

      • Darwinskeeper
        May 6, 2015, 9:04 am | # | Reply

        I don’t know to what degree Shaenon intended the trip to the moon story to be canon. If it is, it may not be Professor Madblood (from the trip to the moon) but one of his descendents or ancestors. If it was after Mars, I’d have to wonder how he got back.

        • daibhidc
          May 6, 2015, 9:39 am | # | Reply

          I’ve just checked. and Victorian Madblood gives his name as Professor Lupin “Wolf” Madblood in Chapter Seven. So this isn’t him.

          Statistically speaking, Victorian Lupin is more likely to succeed Ximes than precede him, since there was only 14 years of the Victorian era prior to the Great Exhibition, and 50 years afterwards.

          • roberttheaddled
            May 6, 2015, 5:14 pm | #

            Count Ximes may be his title, rather than his name.

            So Lupin is still a possible.

          • DanD
            March 20, 2016, 11:03 pm | #

            It almost definitely is a title. John Churchill, Duke of Marlborough is pretty much the standard format. The only time you get the name and title aligning is when the peerage was created for the individual, and either the territory was as well (rare), there is no territory, or other similar cases.

            However, I can’t imagine any Madblood not claiming all titles to which he was entitled every time he introduced himself. So this Madblood being Count Ximes doesn’t exclude him from being the same as the serial, but the fact that the serial Madblood never referred to himself as a count rather does.

  5. Eraser820
    May 6, 2015, 7:56 am | # | Reply

    Hmm, I have an idea but I don’t know if I’ve got time today to wade through enough narbonic to confirm or deny it. What are the chances the bus that Dave’s undead head got left on was a SEPTA bus? Because the combined Hitty/Moustachio think they might be headed for Pennsylvania and if so they could be on their way to a Lupin Madblood that is somehow now under employ of A-Sig.

  6. David Albert Toboz (@Zobot257)
    May 6, 2015, 8:49 am | # | Reply

    …this makes WAY too much sense.

    • Michael Brewer
      May 6, 2015, 3:51 pm | # | Reply

      I was gonna say that it explains more than it doesn’t.

      …Heh. Moustachio got grandfathered into the Machine Union in several ways!

  7. eddurd
    May 6, 2015, 8:50 am | # | Reply

    (TUNE: “Onward Christian Soldiers”, Baring-Gould and Sullivan)

    Awesome moustache soldered!
    Handlebar, with curls!
    This is how Victorian
    Robots get the girls!

     Madblood, greatest genius
     Of, perhaps, all time!
     See how he has craf-ted
     Facial hair sublime!

    Awesome moustache soldered!
    Smashing, shout “Pip pip!”
    Rather seems a shame, though …
    I don’t have a lip!

    • daibhidc
      May 6, 2015, 9:42 am | # | Reply

      Applause!

  8. theelusivefish
    May 6, 2015, 10:03 am | # | Reply

    I think the only apt thing to say at this point is… (deep inhale)

    ♫ From the West to the East
    From the greatest to the least
    Ev’ry creature, man and beast,
    Bow before him!
    All ye kings of the lands
    From the tundra to the sands
    Crawl upon your knees and hands
    And implore him: ♫

    “O my liege! Here you go!
    Take my country! Seize control!
    We are beaten- BY YOUR IRON DOGS OF WAR!”

    ROBOT ARMY, at this point, just Mustachio (Chorus):
    Hail to the name of the Robot King!
    Loudly our synthetic voices ring!
    Singing the verse he programmed us to sing –
    The mighty mighty Madblood!

    • daibhidc
      May 6, 2015, 10:14 am | # | Reply

      Great minds…

    • Jeffrey C. Wells
      May 6, 2015, 1:47 pm | # | Reply

      Hee hee! I’m so pleased you remember that…

      • John Campbell
        May 6, 2015, 4:49 pm | # | Reply

        I’ve got the version you recorded, that Shaenon put up on the Narbonic site, in my big MP3 random-play list. I’ve gotten some pretty weird looks and “what the hell is that?”s a few times when it’s come up when I had people over.

        And I’m going to have it stuck in my head all day now.

        • roberttheaddled
          May 6, 2015, 5:13 pm | # | Reply

          Now I’m going to have to go searching for said MP3.

          • John Campbell
            May 6, 2015, 11:52 pm | #

            There’s a link in the Narbonic commentary here.

        • GammarayCanon
          May 6, 2015, 5:52 pm | # | Reply

          It really gets harder and harder not to laugh the more times you hear it. I think that last time, I managed to get halfway through it before cracking up.

  9. daibhidc
    May 6, 2015, 10:12 am | # | Reply

    (Tune: The Official Madblood Battle Anthem, Jeffrey Wells)

    From the near to the far,
    From Earth to the distant stars,
    They will fear the handlebar,
    Of Moustachio!
    All will now learn their place,
    Once it’s welded to his face,
    He will swallow those who chase,
    Like pistachio.

    “Oh, good heavens! It’s not fair!
    Automatons with facial hair!
    We are beaten by THE MIGHTY HANDLEBAR!”

    Hail to the man who soldered my ‘tache!
    Whose greatness is stored in my memory cache!
    Hail as the Crystal Palace I smash!
    For mighty Ximes Madblood!

    • oneuniverse2
      May 6, 2015, 4:50 pm | # | Reply

      What singer did you have in mind for this?

  10. GammarayCanon
    May 6, 2015, 12:23 pm | # | Reply

    I’m oddly dissapointed by this, despite being a Madblood fan. I think it’s the hat.

  11. Dave
    May 6, 2015, 1:34 pm | # | Reply

    Woo! Get ready for some pontification!

  12. Michael
    May 6, 2015, 1:36 pm | # | Reply

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  13. butsuri
    May 6, 2015, 2:31 pm | # | Reply

    The phrasing “Madblood, Count Ximes” is rather odd: I’m not sure whether this is Count Ximes Madblood, and Moustachio is referring to him like an index entry, or the Count [of] Ximes, and Moustachio has omitted his personal name but not his surname. In the latter case he could still be “Lupin Madblood, nth Count Ximes”.

    • Jeffrey C. Wells
      May 6, 2015, 10:40 pm | # | Reply

      The last is technically correct, but it became a victim of the dreaded panel space economy.

  14. RoofPig
    May 6, 2015, 4:19 pm | # | Reply

    How do you pronounce “Ximes”?

    • Robert Nowall
      May 6, 2015, 7:26 pm | # | Reply

      Never been certain, ask the late Clark Ashton Smith.

    • theelusivefish
      May 6, 2015, 9:58 pm | # | Reply

      I believe it’s pronounced, “Throat Warbler Mangrove” but then again it may be the accent throwing me off.

  15. Shadowmehr
    May 6, 2015, 7:49 pm | # | Reply

    Pass the popcorn, people. This is going to be goooood.

    (Would this make Foot and Mustachio cousins, great-grandnephew and -uncle, or some stranger relation?)

  16. Frank
    May 6, 2015, 8:10 pm | # | Reply

    I started reading this with the regular voice i use for Madblod, then had to remind myself this one’s the English one

    …what?

  17. s854
    May 6, 2015, 9:12 pm | # | Reply

    I’m not sure he is the English one, given that “Count” isn’t an English title. He may talk just like Bela Lugosi, for all I know.

  18. Delta Echo
    May 6, 2015, 9:18 pm | # | Reply

    Correct – the British (and Irish) equivilant is an Earl.

    (Although the Earl’s wife would still be a Countess, go figure.)

    I’d suspect (based on where the title of Count was used) that this particular Madblood is French, which could well explain why he was so eager to have his creation RAMPAGE! through a British exhibition…

    • M. Alan Thomas II
      May 6, 2015, 9:47 pm | # | Reply

      Weirdly, the term “Count” is an English translation of a variety of titles, none of which are spelled or pronounced exactly like it. The equivalency and translation of noble titles is even weirder than that of military titles, despite both having historical needs for interoperability.

  19. Darwin Smith
    May 6, 2015, 9:23 pm | # | Reply

    I cannot state how humorous I find it to be that a Madblood was behind the construction of the Thinkonium.

    • Pygar
      May 6, 2015, 11:06 pm | # | Reply

      Probably after a Narbon did all the hard work… with some capable help!

      • Darwin Smith
        May 7, 2015, 8:23 am | # | Reply

        I’m not sure a Narbon would be involved. After all, the Narbons we know are mad biologists. Sure, there was the trip to the moon, but we don’t know if Victorian Helen Narbon is canon. And the modern Madblood has definitely demonstrated his chops at the construction of unstoppable robotic monsters.

  20. WJS
    July 26, 2019, 12:16 am | # | Reply

    So Moustachio was created by (a) Madblood? Nice.

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