Skin Horse

By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
Color by Pancha Diaz
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2017-08-28
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2017-08-28

by Jeffrey C. Wells on August 28, 2017 at 12:01 am
Chapter: Sure as You're Born
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Discussion (37) ¬

  1. Robert Nowall
    August 28, 2017, 12:06 am | # | Reply

    How much lettuce?

    • OneUniverse
      August 28, 2017, 12:10 am | # | Reply

      I’m sure it’s a *huge* amount, the best lettuce!

  2. casimir
    August 28, 2017, 12:10 am | # | Reply

    Was that a clockwork pigeon?

  3. Maria Cline
    August 28, 2017, 12:23 am | # | Reply

    Can’t Unity just pose as HT with those ears and hand all the turtles lettuce to sway them? Also, maybe draw some turtles wearing bandanas and carrying around tiny weapons.

  4. Schism
    August 28, 2017, 1:03 am | # | Reply

    I can just imagine those tiny turtles eating raspberries. (The end appearance is rather horrific.)

  5. Darkstarling
    August 28, 2017, 1:17 am | # | Reply

    AH, and there’s the plan.

    • davidbreslin101
      August 28, 2017, 6:54 am | # | Reply

      There’s a similar scam in “Accelerando” by Charles Stross- the post-human AIs create thousands of duplicates of historical figures and send them to the human colony on Saturn to sway election results.

    • Ken
      August 28, 2017, 1:32 pm | # | Reply

      Called it! http://skin-horse.com/comic/break-room/#comment-221741

  6. Bruce A Munro
    August 28, 2017, 1:39 am | # | Reply

    Winning national elections is going to requite millions of turtles. That’s a lot of lettuce.

    • Bruce A Munro
      August 28, 2017, 1:40 am | # | Reply

      Require, I mean.

    • Jay
      August 28, 2017, 4:00 am | # | Reply

      I suspect the Skin Horse universe has just as many issues with gerrymandering as ours.

      Really, I think the limiting factor is going to be residency and ID *paperwork* rather than lettuce…

  7. joycemelton
    August 28, 2017, 1:43 am | # | Reply

    Romaine or leaf lettuce, I hope. Iceberg is tasty but does not have enough nutrients for turtles.

    • Seph
      August 28, 2017, 3:57 am | # | Reply

      Iceberg lettuce is objectively non-tasty.

      • Pentrose Son of John
        August 28, 2017, 10:00 am | # | Reply

        The only thing iceberg lettuce is good for is acting as a vehicle for salad dressing.

        • Chrisn
          August 28, 2017, 8:35 pm | # | Reply

          Crunchy.

    • Mental Mouse
      August 28, 2017, 9:42 pm | # | Reply

      Iceberg lettuce does not have enough nutrients, period. Or taste. It is biologically-produced cardboard without the useful planarity.

      • Anson
        August 28, 2017, 11:43 pm | # | Reply

        I heard you didn’t like vegetables, so we took the vegetable out of your vegetables, so you don’t have to eat vegetables while eating your vegetables.

        I apologize for the memes, but it seemed appropriate.

  8. Rick Mangekian
    August 28, 2017, 8:17 am | # | Reply

    I foresee one minor hitch. You still have to be 18 years old to vote.

    To have any significant effect many sentients would have to have to live significantly longer than their non-sentient cousins, or only be able to vote in their final years. Then again seniors have better voter turnout.

    Would they qualify for AARP? (In Sweetheart’s case would it be … no, never mind.)

    • stevemnd
      August 28, 2017, 8:44 am | # | Reply

      Under the new sapient legislation, it may be different for non-humans, based on the age at which they are deemed to be ‘adult.’ Since many animals develop out of their adolescence a lot quicker than humans do, that may still work in H.T.’s favor.

    • Robert Nowall
      August 28, 2017, 8:46 am | # | Reply

      Turtles can live into their two hundreds—what they don’t vote for now they’ll vote in later.

    • Gemma
      August 28, 2017, 3:08 pm | # | Reply

      Originally, I thought that the problem would be solvable by granting voting rights at the equivalent development point, but then I realized that such a point would be difficult to determine due to many creations of mad science being unique or altered so much so that what we do know would be hard to apply (not to mention that we’re still learning about how the human brain develops with age). You could administer intelligence tests, but requiring passing a literacy test to vote was a significant method of withholding voting rights from minorities, so it would probably end up as a repeat of old hurdles.

      • WJS
        August 2, 2019, 10:33 am | # | Reply

        I think the only solution would be to re-examine proficiency tests for voting. Anything else would open the door completely to exactly this kind of manipulation, and effectively be the end of meaningful democracy.

    • Aevylmar
      August 28, 2017, 6:30 pm | # | Reply

      Yeah. I don’t know how the authors are getting around the question of the voting age. Anything like literacy tests or intelligence tests would be highly unreliable for the reasons you specify above; on the other hand, granting transgenics, unlike all other citizens, the special right to vote below 18 years of age would be problematic – it might result in the whole thing getting struck down in court.

      I don’t know what the solution will be, or even if this is something that would be solved, instead of something the authors are planning to quietly ignore.

    • Trivena
      August 28, 2017, 10:36 pm | # | Reply

      I know a story where the genetically-engineered “biorgs” were ruled to be minors regardless of age or model: “Reduced volition, ignorant of social contexts” etc. In an airport, for example, they have to be booked in through the Accompanied Passengers desk.

  9. Robert Nowall
    August 28, 2017, 9:11 am | # | Reply

    This here’s a story about voting rights and seeing through
    Gummit workers with plenty better to do
    Than take time off, to preach the multitude
    And here is what happened, when they invented an excuse

    They found a group there, ooh, and they polled them
    Pickin’ up the line, that Skin Horse has sold them
    Goin’ to the polls, vote how H. T. told them
    Turtles there ate the lettuce for fun

    Go on, eat the lettuce for fun
    Go on, eat the lettuce for fun
    Go on, eat the lettuce for fun
    Go on, eat the lettuce for fun

    —from “Take the Money and Run,” Steve Miller Band.

  10. Dr. Steve
    August 28, 2017, 10:02 am | # | Reply

    no capital letters allowed for tiny turtles

  11. EvilMidnightLurker
    August 28, 2017, 10:29 am | # | Reply

    Does the legislation include ways to interpret what will happen to voting demographics for the benefit of the one in five Americans who will be completely unable to understand where all these new votes are coming from?

    • EvilMidnightLurker
      August 28, 2017, 10:31 am | # | Reply

      Human Americans, I should have said.

      …is there any such thing as a sapient creation of Mad Science that is itself weirdness-blind, or is that only an issue with baseline humans?

      • BRGR
        August 28, 2017, 12:07 pm | # | Reply

        Sounds like a challenge.

        To the lab!

      • D. Walker
        August 28, 2017, 4:20 pm | # | Reply

        Well, there’s that one bird that thinks he’s a human. Although, he’s aware that there are non-human sapients. Does he qualify?

  12. eternalfarnham
    August 28, 2017, 11:56 am | # | Reply

    Wisdom and lettuce. Hell, he’s got my vote.

  13. awgiedawgie
    August 28, 2017, 6:08 pm | # | Reply

    It occurs to me that any of those sapient turtles that have been purchased as pets would actually be considered slaves, and would need to be released… or adopted as dependents.

  14. mickeyjf
    August 28, 2017, 6:56 pm | # | Reply

    “There’s an awful lot of lettuce for the fellow who can get us there…”

  15. Shadowmehr
    August 28, 2017, 7:15 pm | # | Reply

    Politics being decided by whoever can spread the most lettuce around. Some would say that’s business as usual. Others might be cynical about the process.

  16. gyrre
    August 28, 2017, 8:29 pm | # | Reply

    And there’s the trick of the matter. Puppet politicians.

    I guess next H.T. will start a corrupt multi-national corporation.

  17. WJS
    August 2, 2019, 10:27 am | # | Reply

    It’s really taken them this long to figure this out? I think all the readers saw this coming as soon as we saw H.T. was mass-producing them.

  18. jdreyfuss
    January 30, 2020, 2:58 pm | # | Reply

    I assume those turtles are still under 18, and also haven’t reached whatever the accepted age of maturity is for turtles.

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