Skin Horse

By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
Color by Pancha Diaz
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2014-12-17
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2014-12-17

by shaenon on December 17, 2014 at 12:01 am
Chapter: Mixed-Up Files
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Discussion (33) ¬

  1. Henry
    December 17, 2014, 12:09 am | # | Reply

    Clearly the best advice. Nothing bad will come of this.

    Actually, given sweethart’s metabolism, nothing bad will come of it.

  2. Eddurd
    December 17, 2014, 12:41 am | # | Reply

    (TUNE: “The Wall”, Pink Floyd)

    Sweetheart’s looking for an answer …
    Looking for insightful views …
    So Ira, help her if you can, sir …
    Help that lady lose the blues …
    … Hey! Ira!
    Give that girl some booze!

     Just a small emollient
     Cures it all … alcohol!

    Ira doesn’t have an answer …
    Doesn’t have insightful views …
    But he has got a mood enhancer …
    Some Galliano or Chartreuse …
    … Hey! Sweetheart!
    You could use some booze!

     Just a small emollient
     Cures it all … alcohol!

    • little Sis
      December 17, 2014, 7:34 am | # | Reply

      Am I the only one that had the chorus of kids singing the second verse?

      • Eddurd
        December 17, 2014, 10:55 am | # | Reply

        No, you weren’t. Heh heh heh …

  3. Manifesta
    December 17, 2014, 1:20 am | # | Reply

    “Fangs, Ira”? That’s low. Clever, but low.

    • Foradain
      December 17, 2014, 1:38 am | # | Reply

      It’s not actually a pun, it’s that she can’t pronounce certain diphthongs properly while holding a canteen in her mouth. ^_^

      • Robert Nowall
        December 17, 2014, 4:32 am | # | Reply

        Can you?

        • Foradain
          December 17, 2014, 7:51 am | # | Reply

          No, I can’t talk at all while holding a canteen in my mouth. Good thing I have a belt pouch for that!

      • Little Sis
        December 17, 2014, 7:32 am | # | Reply

        I’d like to see her try to say diphthongs with a flask in her mouth!

      • Bear
        December 17, 2014, 10:45 am | # | Reply

        The ‘th’ noise in ‘thanks’ (and, for that matter, in ‘diphthong’) isn’t a diphthong. It’s a lingua-dental fricative. Now, the ‘ua’ noise in ‘lingua-dental’ — THAT’s a diphthong.

        But I don’t think anyone has a reason to care, unless they needed to know what a ‘Hapax Legomenon’ was before Shaenon made it into the title of venusian royalty, and knew who Antonio Smith was based on.

        Being a language geek can be a heavy burden. Shaenon deals with it in her way, and I deal with it in mine.

  4. Robert Nowall
    December 17, 2014, 6:40 am | # | Reply

    I suppose Ira will forget he gave the flask to Sweetheart, but all will be right because he’ll forget he had the flask at all.

  5. Moe Lane
    December 17, 2014, 7:34 am | # | Reply

    I would like them to fix Ira. It’s not very nice, what’s happened to him.

    • irdburns
      December 17, 2014, 7:53 am | # | Reply

      Seconded

    • BMunro
      December 17, 2014, 6:20 pm | # | Reply

      Especially since I suspect it’s something that has been _deliberately_ done to him. He seems to remember details about who people are when he is reminded of their names, and as far as I know that’s not how amnesia works: he’s either going to retain semantic memory (simple facts unrelated to specific points in time) or not, it’s not going to come and go with prompting. He also seems to maintain memory of being an employee at Skin Horse, rather than finding himself deeply puzzled about where he is all the time, and his actual age, given that he’s not constantly looking at reflecting surfaces and screaming “Aaargh!!! How did I get so old???”

    • Robert Mitchell Jr.
      December 17, 2014, 7:01 pm | # | Reply

      Ah, Moe, what makes you think Ira is broken? Pretty sure he’s one of the “Shadow Government’s” controls……

  6. Treesong
    December 17, 2014, 9:37 am | # | Reply

    Foradain: BA in linguistics here. A diphthong is a vowel that glides from one position to another, as in ‘out’ or ‘boy’. ‘Th’ is an interdental fricative that goes all labial. And there’s no reason she can’t say ‘k’ except that ‘Fanks’ isn’t as funny.

    • Moe Lane
      December 17, 2014, 10:07 am | # | Reply

      I was going to test this, because I have a hip flask around here somewhere; only when I was rummaging around for it I instead found the whiskey bottle and my last remaining K-cup of Jamaica Blue Mountain coffee. And, hey, there’s still some whipped cream left.

    • davidbreslin101
      December 17, 2014, 1:55 pm | # | Reply

      My experiment rendered the word roughly “Aññ-khh.”
      Although… who knows what anatomical oddities Sweetheart has to allow her to talk? I recently listened to a Doctor Who audio drama involving dogs who’d had human palates and brain tissue grafted in to make them capable of speech. Happily, it looks like Cap’n Bram went the GM route.

  7. Jim Baerg
    December 17, 2014, 12:02 pm | # | Reply

    http://www.cbc.ca/quirks/2014/12/13/2014-12-13-1/
    Sweetheart should be less able to handle liquor than most humans.
    IIRC there were some Skinhorse strips that showed that.

    • GammarayCanon
      December 17, 2014, 1:47 pm | # | Reply

      On the other hand, there were strips that showed that she’s capable of drinking a blow-up swimming pool’s worth of tequila without dying, so I think she’s definitely got a higher alcohol tolerance than humans.

  8. Smithnik
    December 17, 2014, 1:49 pm | # | Reply

    I still want to know how Foradain talks through a belt pouch.
    Today’s strip led me to the horrifying conclusion that Ira’s service is Sweetheart’s only joy.
    Also, while we’re on the topic of phonic enlightenment, and the “Fangs” line really did seem like a joke rather than a possible sound, because if you do hold a flask in your mouth, but can still move your tongue, it comes out more like “Hankh, Iya,” which isn’t half as funny. You cannot make an “F” sound unless you can get the whole flask in your mouth so that you can make your lips meet, which requires really big lips or a really small flask.
    Not that I usually walk around holding a flask with my teeth, but in the interest of science some things must be done.

  9. Smithnik
    December 17, 2014, 1:54 pm | # | Reply

    I still want to know how Foradain can talk through a belt pouch.

    Is the implication here the Ira’s service is Sweetheart’s only joy?

    In the interest of phonic enlightenment, “Fangs, Ira” has to be a joke, for the simple reason that you can’t make an “F” sound as her mouth is portrayed. It would come out more like “Hanks, Iya.” To achieve “Fangs, Ira” you would need to have a lips-to-flask ratio that is much higher, and be able to maneuver your tongue well enough for the “R” sound, a difficult mix as shown.
    Not that I usually walk around with a flask in my teeth, making funny noises, but in the interest of science…

  10. Pygar
    December 17, 2014, 3:47 pm | # | Reply

    Moe, what if Ira is secretly 100% okay?

    • roberttheaddled
      December 17, 2014, 5:37 pm | # | Reply

      That’s kinda what was in my mind when I speculated yesterday this is all a Helen/Dave plot.

    • Sheik
      December 17, 2014, 6:44 pm | # | Reply

      It might explain why he still has a job.
      In fact he may be considerably brighter than he lets on.
      He was savvy enough to get a security job in a climate of paranoia, which means the powers that be will insist he hang on well after retirement age.

    • Moe Lane
      December 18, 2014, 1:59 am | # | Reply

      Oh, if he’s running a long con or something then that’s fine. Even if it’s evil.

  11. Shadowmehr
    December 17, 2014, 7:17 pm | # | Reply

    Somebody has to jump on this grenade, so here goes . . .

    In the words of the great philosopher Homer Simpson: “Alcohol. The cause of, and cure for, all our problems.”

    There, we were all thinking this, so have at me.

  12. --jt--
    December 17, 2014, 8:12 pm | # | Reply

    I’m concerned Ira has had that flask since ’89.
    Maybe Sweetheart should not partake of it.

  13. Eddurd
    December 17, 2014, 10:11 pm | # | Reply

    It probably has the same contents as this flask …
    http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp09082009.shtml

    • roberttheaddled
      December 18, 2014, 5:23 pm | # | Reply

      I remember that without even following the link. Stomach churning.

      Wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

      Then again I recall a mixed drink we called “Uncle Ferrule’s Rocket Fuel” – 1/3 Each peppermint and spearmint super schnapps (the 100 proof stuff) and the local equivalent of moonshine or grain for the remaining third.

      Can’t taste anything after the first mouthful. Trickle it down a log/board into a campfire and it burned purple….

    • roberttheaddled
      December 20, 2014, 9:30 pm | # | Reply

      Actually Eddurd – thanks for that reminder – its been a LONG time since I read SP from the beginning.

  14. purpledog39
    December 20, 2014, 3:09 pm | # | Reply

    Ira is glad to serve. Could you say that service is his only joy?

  15. OneUniverse
    November 12, 2020, 9:36 am | # | Reply

    These last few strips are more ominous given the next six years of evidence.

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