Skin Horse

By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
Color by Pancha Diaz
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2014-03-08
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2014-03-08

by shaenon on March 8, 2014 at 12:01 am
Chapter: My Brother Sam Is Dead
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Discussion (32) ¬

  1. Jay Eff
    March 8, 2014, 12:07 am | # | Reply

    Oh man, herbicide!

    Now I’m getting flashbacks of the herbicide commercials that air during the local news around here…

  2. Dave
    March 8, 2014, 12:20 am | # | Reply

    Oh no, poor Unity has to go back in and kick more butt. 🙂

  3. BarGamer
    March 8, 2014, 1:51 am | # | Reply

    Her foes all died, her rake steady at her side,
    “You LOST the guide?”, Unity goes back inside.
    Alas, her Fatality move featuring herbicide
    supply has dried, while KT uses Hide.
    This she abides, if she wants to ride.
    (Forgive me, I’d rather not be pied.)

  4. Warren Terra
    March 8, 2014, 1:55 am | # | Reply

    Oh, man, the beginning of that poem could not possibly be more apt:

    Hard seeds of hate I planted
    That should by now be grown,—
    Rough stalks, and from thick stamens
    A poisonous pollen blown,
    And odors rank, unbreathable,
    From dark corollas thrown!

    • oneuniverse2
      March 9, 2014, 12:55 pm | # | Reply

      Thanks for posting that link; it saved time hunting “Blight” down 🙂

  5. daibhidc
    March 8, 2014, 5:42 am | # | Reply

    Tune: Suicide is Painless

    Through icky sewer sludge I see,
    A target for fatality,
    She ripped me up in New Orlea,
    And pretty soon she’s gonna see,

    That herbicide ain’t painless,
    Kills mangroves and hydrangeas,
    But I forgot to save some for KT.

    My Agent O is hard to spray,
    I had to spray it anyway,
    I used it all with no delay,
    And now there’s none to rescue K.

    ‘Cos herbicide ain’t painless,
    Kills mangroves and hydrangeas,
    But I forgot to save some for KT.

    KT is missing deep within,
    The sewer where this did begin
    Am I the only smart one in,
    The black ops group called Horse of Skin?

    ‘Cos herbicide ain’t painless,
    Kills mangroves and hydrangeas,
    But I forgot to save some for KT.

    A helicopter just told me,
    That I can’t fly so easily,
    But when it comes to killing trees,
    Well, all I’ll say is just watch me,

    ‘Cos herbicide ain’t painless,
    Kills mangroves and hydrangeas,
    But I forgot to save some for KT.

    • oneuniverse2
      March 9, 2014, 12:58 pm | # | Reply

      Bravo!

  6. jdreyfuss
    March 8, 2014, 7:32 am | # | Reply

    Come on, Tip; you’re a psychologist. Proper communication is key to avoiding situations that piss off the bioweapons.

  7. Eddurd
    March 8, 2014, 7:44 am | # | Reply

    Well, if we’re on a poetry kick today …

    (Based on “Daffodils” by William Wordsworth)

    I wandered through a noxious cloud
    Of fumes beneath the Colma hills,
    To give the payback I had vowed
    To this damned cypress swamp that kills;
    With chain saw, chemicals, and rake,
    My violent revenge I’ll take.

    Then I emerge into the day,
    Reciting lines that seem quite apt.
    And Artie says, “How nice. Millay.”
    But when Tip speaks, my temper snapped —
    You say our friends inside remain?
    Oh, brother, here we go again …

    I go now to the evil night,
    Not gently, with my patience tried …
    For I have not the pow’r of flight,
    And done ran out of herbicide.
    But my chest engine fills with slow rage …
    There ain’t no rhyme for “Agent Orange”.

  8. Eddurd
    March 8, 2014, 7:46 am | # | Reply

    Bravo, Daibhidc!

  9. chicgeek
    March 8, 2014, 8:20 am | # | Reply

    ooh, I hope her extra brain power doesn’t wear off while she’s back inside!
    Wait, this is Unity. Going to kick ass. She’ll be fine. She may forget about kt and end up bonding with the cypress over hats, but she’ll be fine.
    Nicks should start using rhymes for swears. The filter won’t block them, because they’re innocent words,yet his meaning will be perfectly clear.
    Nah, not now when he’s learning new swears from Dr.Lee.

    • oneuniverse2
      March 9, 2014, 12:59 pm | # | Reply

      What happened to the Shakespearean cussing?

  10. Shadowmehr
    March 8, 2014, 10:01 am | # | Reply

    She’s not the only useful member of the team. She’s just the only one who’s useful right now. Nick and the rest will be useful later.

  11. Moe Lane
    March 8, 2014, 12:40 pm | # | Reply

    I think that I shall never see
    A swamp as fierce as U.N.I.T.Y.

    A swamp (to mangle terms) is ‘blessed’
    With noxious zombies to contest

    The human foes that come by day,
    And act as food with which to play;

    And though prey runs in sudden scare
    All up and down the swamp’s new lair;

    And leave behind those now thought slain;
    Intimates, all, to fear and pain.

    But look: the former fool they see!
    With fear of God. Well, U.N.I.T.Y.

  12. Andrew
    March 8, 2014, 1:57 pm | # | Reply

    All that’s missing is a bawdy limerick. And I can’t write poetry worth a bucket from nantucket.

    • Manifesta
      March 8, 2014, 4:08 pm | # | Reply

      Well, it’s not bawdy, but

      There once was a rev’nant named Unity
      Who murdered a swamp with impunity
      Then went back, you see,
      To rescue KT
      While shaming the Skin Horse community

      • Manifesta
        March 8, 2014, 4:15 pm | # | Reply

        Okay, here’s one that’s just a wee bit bawdy:

        When Artie would no longer give it
        To Tip, he threw rather a big snit
        In Colma, they snark
        Through daylight and dark
        And, poor Ginny, neither will that hit

        • Manifesta
          March 8, 2014, 4:26 pm | # | Reply

          Wait, I can up the bawd rate:

          ‘Neath Colma, while batt’ling the undead,
          A sudden sight fills them with such dread
          Tip says “We should now run—
          That’s ‘one really big one'”
          And Artie replies, “That’s what he said”

          • il biggo
            March 11, 2014, 8:39 pm | #

            8D *clap!*

  13. Pygar
    March 8, 2014, 2:15 pm | # | Reply

    So now UNITY is a herbicidal maniac?

  14. commodorejohn
    March 8, 2014, 2:59 pm | # | Reply

    Looks like she’s goin’ back for Newt.

  15. Saberbeam
    March 8, 2014, 3:36 pm | # | Reply

    Here’s hoping sewer maintenance has some cargo-loading exosuits handy. Not that Unity would need one, but it’d be pretty awesome 😀

  16. BMunro
    March 8, 2014, 3:53 pm | # | Reply

    Wait. Unity reads in Edna Vincent Millay in _normal_ mode? Because an IQ boost doesn’t give you an automatic knowledge of literature.

    • Sheik
      March 8, 2014, 4:10 pm | # | Reply

      Technically Unity is a nanobot collective that assembles and animates body parts. I have no doubt that she can access the Internet at will so long as she has radio access.
      In her present state of hyper-intelligence she probably has to make an effort to keep from crashing any server she has contact with.

      • BMunro
        March 9, 2014, 5:53 pm | # | Reply

        Perpetual internet streaming? May partially explain her short attention span…

  17. Jason Hartwig
    March 8, 2014, 8:13 pm | # | Reply

    Unity kinda gets tetchy when she’s smart.

  18. Sewer Santa (ghost of)
    March 8, 2014, 9:29 pm | # | Reply

    Why the hell wasn’t Unity in the group in the first place? Maybe my demise would have been postponed. Certainly K.T. wouldn’t have been lost. Who’s in charge of these Skin Horse people again?

    • Jason Hartwig
      March 9, 2014, 10:59 am | # | Reply

      Chaos. Entropy. Random chance. All of the above?

  19. Bernard
    March 9, 2014, 9:09 pm | # | Reply

    The really frightening thing is, certain formulations of herbicide can be pretty easily turned into homebrewed explosives. Knowing Unity, I have no doubt that she knows this, and has no fear of brewing them because she can stitch fingers back on when necessary.

  20. Pygar
    March 10, 2014, 12:41 pm | # | Reply

    … a bucket of bees that thinks it’s Mary Poppins?

  21. Pygar
    March 10, 2014, 12:43 pm | # | Reply

    That was meant for Jason’s comment above, sorry!

  22. JET73L
    March 12, 2015, 9:02 am | # | Reply

    Two roads diverged in a brownish pipe.
    And I, sad that I could not take both,
    Mixed my particularly violently reactive herbicides to take out the whole gorram place.
    And that has made all the difference.

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