AUDIENCE: “You literally knitted that whole thing.”
DR. HALLER: “Yeah? Well, your Mom literally knitted *these!*”
[ DR. HALLER points toward his crotch. ]
Sounds about right.
Darn… skipped over “Puttin’ On the Ritz”.
….Wouldn’t Mad Zoologists just make their own Bigfeet? Or would that be Mad Biologists? …Hmmm… Why not just hire Mrs. Narbon? Her husband does consulting work after all.
I’m not going to say that it’s never appropriate, but there’s just something about hiring a subcontractor (posting on Craigslist, evaluating resumes, calling references, etc.) that lacks that certain … panache … that you need to really impress your mad colleagues. A mad zoologist should be able to make his own cryptids from scratch, anyway.
Hiring Helen might be a bit risky… the Mad Community seems to be pretty gossipy and word would likely get out. DIY mutation is a much better plan for a fake.
And yes – Zoologists would not normally be making things, just discovering and studying existing critters.
Plus with hiring another mad scientist, you have to give them too much creative freedom if you want anything done. Helen could make a cryptic sure, but there is about a 90% chance it is some gerbil based thing..
Mutation by radiation does not yield predictalbe results.
Genetic engineering would be a much safer option.
Discovering a new species by creating it yourself: That’s like cheating on your algebra test by making your homegrown AI do it. Not that I would know anything about that.
Genetic engeneering is only useful if you know what you are doing.
Random mutation requires much less research.
Just irradiate a bunch of critters. Take the ones that looks most like your goal and breed them.
Repeat until satisfied with the result (or the animals have lost the ability or will to procreate.)
Of course. If you don’t know what you’re doing, it’s research, not engineering.
To me randomly mutating things until something survives is neither.
Well, it’s certainly not sane science.
I had to Google Image Jacob Haller for reference. Nice cameo, but not as cuddly as the real one.
Oh, well, thanks!
Where’s Foot these days?
Dangit, so much for my idea of irradiating random areas in a forest to use to track anything that disturbed those areas. Which would in turn not only leave a ‘lit up’ trail of gamma irradiated material, but it would make whatever did the disturbing stand out to sensors. Just had to go and ruin the idea! D:
Gamma-irradiated material isn’t radioactive. That’s why it’s useful for sterilizing food and stuff.
Hey, it’s me!
Don’t scorn knitting—isn’t that how Unity got put together?
The fools at Joann Fabrics laughed at me — but who’s laughing NOW???
Obviously not a MAD knitter
You think not? Ask the poor fool in the audience who suggested I make money by selling knitted sasquatches on Etsy!!!
Might be easier than filling out all the grant forms. Cryptozoology historically has been near the bottom of funding priorities.
Mad mad more ways than one
Possibly fit for a straitjacket pun
Not sure if that counts for something or none
But certainly lots and lots of fun!
Perhaps he could pick up a Jersey Devil or two…
Those things are _scary_.
Is Mad Zoology the same as Extreme Cryptozoology? Those are the guys who are all, “Well, no sign of the Yeti yet, so let’s abseil into some ice chasms on a moving glacier. Damn thing must be here /somewhere/.”
Those guys think they’re _so_ cool. Bah.
Subset of Mad Science. Did we see any Mad Zoologists at the symposium in “Narbonic?”
I am so totally sending this link to my knitting friends.
It might be worth noting that I have in real life designed a reasonably popular knitted stegosaurus pattern, and a much less popular knitted diplocaulus pattern. (And I recently knitted a tapir.)
Interested knitters can find me on ravelry as jwgh.
That’s a very nice little Diplocaulus.
I’ve *watched* you knit that in the audience of panels for the last two years of the Annual Mad Zoologists Conference, Dr. Haller.
It’s best for everyone if I keep my hands occupied during those conferences.
With long, pointy needles?
It’s a good idea to keep those occupied, too.
My daughter knits to keep her hands busy during college lectures & airline flights. Both of Jacob’s sentiments apply to her as well. She CLAIMS to be Lawful Good, but she was exposed to Narbonic at an early age . . . . can there be a MAD anthropologist?
Mad Anthropologist? Sure. Roughly similar discipline to Zoology, only they have a better chance of being able to ask questions of the subjects.
If the Mad Zoologists are studying cryptids, I reckon the Mad Anthropologists are studying mole men (cf. Li’l Mell), lost tribes of beastmen, zombie culture and so forth. Might be some crossover there between them on the beastman front. They’d certainly cross paths with Skin Horse.
Mad Astronomers would likely be a little bit Astrological. Elder gods might be involved. Or, y’know, be all about field trips to exoplanets to study them *properly*.
I’m not entirely certain what my first thought upon reading this being “Another character I can cosplay” means.
Dr. Haller, or a knitted sasquatch suit?
Dr Baller. But the knitted sasquatch suit could be fun…
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