sooooooooooo, that was it? no huge thing to get in the way? no thing comeing out of left field? thats it, no incident? for this team that is NOT a good sign.
I hope it leaves the one tapioca milk tea place that uses real canned lychee fruit instead of powder and got adopted by a stray cat that sits on people’s laps if they sit outside… 🙁
Do you mean Hydration or a different Milk tea place with a friendly stray cat in San Jose? I wouldn’t be surprised if there were more than one with that criteria.
Unfortunately, considering the current political climate, he or she would probably lose. No, let the idiots and bloviators among us dance their demented minuet in the hive of scum and villainy that is Politics. The world is far better served by Shaenon and Jeff doing exactly what they’re doing now.
If it made it all the way to Santa Clara, what would the 49ers do? I mean, I know the Raiders would just move to LA again, but would the 49ers just give up on leaving Candlestick?
Will the swamp monster eat San Jose?
If the plan were to go wong.
(And the likeliehood’s strong),
Then the headlines would say,
That swamp monster just ate San Jose.
Venus is all you would find,
No more mankind,
In San Jose.
Venus is a great big swamp thing,
Put a waste pipe down as a free bar
As the sewage flows through there’ll be no need to spar,
Down the pipe it runs to the plant mass,
And Venus consumes all there is,
Metabolising and passing gas.
Will the swamp monster eat San Jose?
Unity’s now thinking “Wait,
It would be really great,
For the headlines to say,
That swamp monster just ate San Jose.”
Venus is all you would find,
No more mankind,
In San Jose.
Norton I says it’s a good plan,
Venus is angry and far from home,
Seperate from New Orleans she feels so alone.
Unity’s trying a nicer way,
Make Venus feel she’s got a friend,
And no more zombies will she slay.
Will the swamp monster eat San Jose?
Unity’s plan should work out okay,
Missed chance for headlines in San Jose
Now we’re back to the Unity we know and love.
Still, it would be unfortunate if we lost Milpitas as collateral damage to the monster eating San Jose. Losing an entire town of computer hardware companies and Asian restaurants would be truly terrible.
San Jose is far too dry for a swamp monster’s meal. It would be dried out before it even started on the suburbs. Altarboy is much closer to the mark. It could have Drawbridge for an appetizer.
Since Emperor Norton believes that the people of Colma desire democracy, I think that Empress Unity is not a likely possibility (which is too bad, cause that would be boss). However, if Emperor Norton does step down, he could make a great consultant for the Skin Horse team.
I certainly hope they’re not going to just ignore that it killed dozens of people.
And before any clever-dick says “But it was only hungry!” that mitigates theft, not mass-murder.
…I do not want Zombie Emperor Norton I to go away.
Seconded.
thirdeded
Sad part is that if Shaenon lived in Seattle, she’d probably have added a Zombie Ivar Haglund to this story arc as well!
Now that would be awesome, even for someone like me who feels that zombies have been totally done to death!
sooooooooooo, that was it? no huge thing to get in the way? no thing comeing out of left field? thats it, no incident? for this team that is NOT a good sign.
There’s still time for Unity to get back into character and make that headline come true.
Wait for it…
I come from the future bearing “Good News!”
Having been to San Jose…it deserves to be eaten.
There are other towns that deserve it more, but, from what I remember SJ is a good candidate.
I hope it leaves the one tapioca milk tea place that uses real canned lychee fruit instead of powder and got adopted by a stray cat that sits on people’s laps if they sit outside… 🙁
Do you mean Hydration or a different Milk tea place with a friendly stray cat in San Jose? I wouldn’t be surprised if there were more than one with that criteria.
A place with that many milk tea cats can’t be that bad. Best reset your sights towards Milpitas.
Jeff and Shaenon: I implore whichever one of you came up with
“All I did was try to be nice instead of mean.”
“It’s remarkable how few leaders aspire so high”
to run for public office.
Unfortunately, considering the current political climate, he or she would probably lose. No, let the idiots and bloviators among us dance their demented minuet in the hive of scum and villainy that is Politics. The world is far better served by Shaenon and Jeff doing exactly what they’re doing now.
More likely it would be “Swamp Eats Alviso.”
And nobody would be the wiser.
Alviso would be more nutritious, if you were a swamp.
If it made it all the way to Santa Clara, what would the 49ers do? I mean, I know the Raiders would just move to LA again, but would the 49ers just give up on leaving Candlestick?
I say, “Nazi-Acquired Buddha Statue Came From Space” is an even better headline.
“Nazi-Acquired Space Buddha Eats San Jose”
I think today’s file name “and the taupe” would be an even better headline.
(Tune: Do You Know The Way To San Jose?)
Will the swamp monster eat San Jose?
If the plan were to go wong.
(And the likeliehood’s strong),
Then the headlines would say,
That swamp monster just ate San Jose.
Venus is all you would find,
No more mankind,
In San Jose.
Venus is a great big swamp thing,
Put a waste pipe down as a free bar
As the sewage flows through there’ll be no need to spar,
Down the pipe it runs to the plant mass,
And Venus consumes all there is,
Metabolising and passing gas.
Will the swamp monster eat San Jose?
Unity’s now thinking “Wait,
It would be really great,
For the headlines to say,
That swamp monster just ate San Jose.”
Venus is all you would find,
No more mankind,
In San Jose.
Norton I says it’s a good plan,
Venus is angry and far from home,
Seperate from New Orleans she feels so alone.
Unity’s trying a nicer way,
Make Venus feel she’s got a friend,
And no more zombies will she slay.
Will the swamp monster eat San Jose?
Unity’s plan should work out okay,
Missed chance for headlines in San Jose
I knew someone would use that song!
Hey, wait. K.T. is still in the pipe. Is she experiencing the “burns coming out” portion of her Agent Orange cocktail?
Daibhidc, I was going to use that same tune. That’s what I get for sleeping in on Saturday.
Now we’re back to the Unity we know and love.
Still, it would be unfortunate if we lost Milpitas as collateral damage to the monster eating San Jose. Losing an entire town of computer hardware companies and Asian restaurants would be truly terrible.
San Jose is far too dry for a swamp monster’s meal. It would be dried out before it even started on the suburbs. Altarboy is much closer to the mark. It could have Drawbridge for an appetizer.
I suspect Emperor Norton is hinting at plans to install Unity as the new emperor, with his leader remark there.
Since Emperor Norton believes that the people of Colma desire democracy, I think that Empress Unity is not a likely possibility (which is too bad, cause that would be boss). However, if Emperor Norton does step down, he could make a great consultant for the Skin Horse team.
Just got reminded how homocidal fruit already took out San Jose in the late ’70s
“Swamp Monster eats Hanford” just seems much more likely.
I certainly hope they’re not going to just ignore that it killed dozens of people.
And before any clever-dick says “But it was only hungry!” that mitigates theft, not mass-murder.