[spoken]
[Sweetheart]
We don’t have time for this! We’re on a mission! [Unity]
But I haven’t lurched in forever! [Sweetheart]
You don’t need to go lurching! [Unity]
Awwwww … [Lead zombie]
Excuse me, but I beg to differ …
[singing]
Hey, cutie with the two-tone hair!
You’re looking under-lurched there!
No need for lurching? Au contraire,
With daily lurching,
We’re smarter in a pack! [insert zombie moans here]
The zombies here on St. Charlie train (train, train)
Don’t always need to nosh on a brain, (although it’s plain insane to say we never nosh on a brain)
‘Cause staggering ambulation
Assists mental cogitation!
With daily lurching,
We’re smarter in a pack!
I know that far and wide you may search … (search, search)
Without a pack, you’re left in the lurch! (we’ve done the research and you shouldn’t be left in the lurch)
You’re welcome to join us, come!
It’s your leader’s fault you’re dumb!
With daily lurching,
We’re smarter in a pack!
Somebody should get a couple of actors, a trained dog, and a film crew to their home town’s next zombie walk and film that as a YouTube short! I bet it would go viral right away! ^_^
Not THERE is a line that will only work on an undead. Try picking up normal women with “You are looking under-lurched, cold stuff” and see how many drinks you are wearing at the end of the night.
I wonder if other necrotic lifeforms are jealous of Unity because she’s so… well… fresh? Or if she get’s stigmatized for it, for not being ‘dead’ enough?
I don’t think the answer to either of those questions will in anyway affect Unity though.
It probably depends on the lifeform. Your average shambler sees her as just a little too “put together” to be approachable, while the Frankensteins call her “that hot chick” and arm wrestle over her (winner gets both the girl and the arm). U.N.I.T.Y. might enjoy the attention, and make snarky comments about the wrestlers over a glass of chilled formaldehyde (with lemon twist, of course).
… Loving UNITYs reaction. Blaming the puppy right away! XD
Just for you, Saberbeam …
(TUNE: “Leader Of The Pack”, The Shangri-Las)
[spoken]
[Sweetheart]
We don’t have time for this! We’re on a mission!
[Unity]
But I haven’t lurched in forever!
[Sweetheart]
You don’t need to go lurching!
[Unity]
Awwwww …
[Lead zombie]
Excuse me, but I beg to differ …
[singing]
Hey, cutie with the two-tone hair!
You’re looking under-lurched there!
No need for lurching? Au contraire,
With daily lurching,
We’re smarter in a pack!
[insert zombie moans here]
The zombies here on St. Charlie train
(train, train)
Don’t always need to nosh on a brain,
(although it’s plain insane to say we never nosh on a brain)
‘Cause staggering ambulation
Assists mental cogitation!
With daily lurching,
We’re smarter in a pack!
I know that far and wide you may search …
(search, search)
Without a pack, you’re left in the lurch!
(we’ve done the research and you shouldn’t be left in the lurch)
You’re welcome to join us, come!
It’s your leader’s fault you’re dumb!
With daily lurching,
We’re smarter in a pack!
Somebody should get a couple of actors, a trained dog, and a film crew to their home town’s next zombie walk and film that as a YouTube short! I bet it would go viral right away! ^_^
*Imagines Zombie Henchmen being sold at the Seven-Evileven by the Twin, 6 and 12-pack*
Okay, whose brilliant idea was it to stock them right next to the flamethrowers?
*SnickerSnort*
mnem
Back off, ya undead freaks! I have Febreze, and I’m not afraid to use it!
Not THERE is a line that will only work on an undead. Try picking up normal women with “You are looking under-lurched, cold stuff” and see how many drinks you are wearing at the end of the night.
I’m sorry, but why would I ever want to pick up normal women? (In either sense of the term “pick up.”)
I wonder if other necrotic lifeforms are jealous of Unity because she’s so… well… fresh? Or if she get’s stigmatized for it, for not being ‘dead’ enough?
I don’t think the answer to either of those questions will in anyway affect Unity though.
It probably depends on the lifeform. Your average shambler sees her as just a little too “put together” to be approachable, while the Frankensteins call her “that hot chick” and arm wrestle over her (winner gets both the girl and the arm). U.N.I.T.Y. might enjoy the attention, and make snarky comments about the wrestlers over a glass of chilled formaldehyde (with lemon twist, of course).
Man, Zombie romance is confusing.
Brains?
So zombies are diametrically opposite to humans, who tend to get stupider in packs such as committees or political conventions.
I think the word you are looking for is ‘marchers’ vice ‘lurchers.’
So THAT explains how Unity fell into bureaucracy- she’s perfect for the job!
Now I’m imagining Sweetheart hiring an entire horde to make sure all the filing gets done on time.