I actually posted a filk yesterday, but it somehow got deleted (along with some other folks’ comments) when Shaenon and Jeff added their commentary. Anyway, I can’t promise I’ll be here every day, but I’m getting back to something approaching normal. Anyway …
(TUNE: “We Didn’t Start The Fire”, Billy Joel)
Sweetheart in the Institute,
All dressed up and looking cute!
Wearing heels and pantyhose,
Stupid door, it will not close!
If the latch will not engage,
Conflagration then may rage,
Spreading through the edifice,
You’ll know something is amiss!
Sweetheart must obey the rule!
Starting now to lose her cool!
It would then be all her fault!
Holy smoke and oy gevalt!
On the phone, her doctor date
Understands why she is late!
Patience only makes it worse!
Time for chorus, end of verse!
[CHORUS]:
We cannot stop the fire!
It could spread so far, because the door’s ajar!
Oh, we cannot stop the fire!
Watching Sweetheart fret,
Though there’s no fire yet,
Not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet …
Okay, I thought of one. From “Five O’Clock World,” the Vogues.
Up in the stairwell I can’t close the door,
I’ve gotta block this exit, it’s a tug-of-war.
Phone call echoes deep inside my brain.
And I fight a lost cause again, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it’s a five alarm fire when the sirens start,
No one but us two have a clue.
And there’s a five alarm fire inside my heart,
Finding I no longer feel blue, yeah…
If I don’t spend the time everybody will burn,
Just because I hurried and I showed my concern.
Making my slow way to the dining hall,
And I’m listening just for his call, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
But it’s a five alarm fire, that’s what worries me.
I know it’s not part of the plan.
‘Cause every time Dr. Ao smiles at me,
I know I can do what I can, yeah…
I don’t know how much I can add to the welcome back/condolences party. May your wife’s spirit grace you the remainer of your days, and may she grant you the permission to be the world’s sexiest eligible webcomic bachelor again. At the very least, the most interesting filker in the world?
Ed – Life is a series of “new normals.” Sometimes they suck; sometimes they don’t. I hope your new normal moves from left to right on the ‘suck spectrum’ sooner than later. Glad to have you back; you were missed.
I’m not sure if this makes it better or worse, but I’m 90% certain he’s running her through a well-disguised psychology maze to gauge her reactions. And that this is merely Step 1.
I don’t remember how all of this goes down, but I suspect it will either end with Sweetheart being stuck in the fire escape well, or the building burning down.
Because that’s how the universe seems to treat her when she’s trying to indulge herself.
That is a strange fire door. It looks like the bar in front of it is attached to the doorframe.
I thought that as well – unless the dark grey strips are actually part of the door. Even so, it looks as though the door’s already closed…
I actually posted a filk yesterday, but it somehow got deleted (along with some other folks’ comments) when Shaenon and Jeff added their commentary. Anyway, I can’t promise I’ll be here every day, but I’m getting back to something approaching normal. Anyway …
(TUNE: “We Didn’t Start The Fire”, Billy Joel)
Sweetheart in the Institute,
All dressed up and looking cute!
Wearing heels and pantyhose,
Stupid door, it will not close!
If the latch will not engage,
Conflagration then may rage,
Spreading through the edifice,
You’ll know something is amiss!
Sweetheart must obey the rule!
Starting now to lose her cool!
It would then be all her fault!
Holy smoke and oy gevalt!
On the phone, her doctor date
Understands why she is late!
Patience only makes it worse!
Time for chorus, end of verse!
[CHORUS]:
We cannot stop the fire!
It could spread so far, because the door’s ajar!
Oh, we cannot stop the fire!
Watching Sweetheart fret,
Though there’s no fire yet,
Not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet …
It’s good to have you back, Ed, and not just because your lyrics make a whole lot more sense than Billy Joel’s.
Yeah, definitely, as it spares me from trying this morning. (Unless I think of something in the next few minutes.) Welcome back.
I considered trying out a “We Didn’t Start the Fire” parody one morning—it was playing on my iPod—but couldn’t get an angle on it.
Okay, I thought of one. From “Five O’Clock World,” the Vogues.
Up in the stairwell I can’t close the door,
I’ve gotta block this exit, it’s a tug-of-war.
Phone call echoes deep inside my brain.
And I fight a lost cause again, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it’s a five alarm fire when the sirens start,
No one but us two have a clue.
And there’s a five alarm fire inside my heart,
Finding I no longer feel blue, yeah…
If I don’t spend the time everybody will burn,
Just because I hurried and I showed my concern.
Making my slow way to the dining hall,
And I’m listening just for his call, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
But it’s a five alarm fire, that’s what worries me.
I know it’s not part of the plan.
‘Cause every time Dr. Ao smiles at me,
I know I can do what I can, yeah…
I don’t know how much I can add to the welcome back/condolences party. May your wife’s spirit grace you the remainer of your days, and may she grant you the permission to be the world’s sexiest eligible webcomic bachelor again. At the very least, the most interesting filker in the world?
It’s good to hear from you again Eddurd.
And that filk is 100% on point.
Ed – Life is a series of “new normals.” Sometimes they suck; sometimes they don’t. I hope your new normal moves from left to right on the ‘suck spectrum’ sooner than later. Glad to have you back; you were missed.
Agreed.
In the words of Michael Stevens form Vsauce, “There is no ‘the end’, only ‘the and’.”
*from*
I hope that doesn’t sound nihilistic or cold. And I apologize if it does.
It didn’t. Well said.
And now, by the Laws of Narrativium, there WILL DEFINITELY be a fire.
Will it be set or spontaneous combustion between Ao and Sweetheart?
If a fire there must be – It should be the result of Sweetheart’s latest *rampage*!
Look, Sweetheart, hang on to this guy. He could be the father of your puppies…
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves…
Can you have puppies that way?
With mad science anything is possible.
Welcome back Ed. My condolences for your loss.
If this guy ISN’T playing her, he’s really starting to creep me out.
Agreed.
If he is crazy, I wonder what the diagnosis would be.
Well, if he isn’t playing her, he could have been sarcastic, and Sweetheart didn’t realize. Then it’s not that bad… (well, it’s bad, but not creepy.)
I’m not sure if this makes it better or worse, but I’m 90% certain he’s running her through a well-disguised psychology maze to gauge her reactions. And that this is merely Step 1.
It’s good to hear from you, Ed. My condolences and best wishes.
I don’t remember how all of this goes down, but I suspect it will either end with Sweetheart being stuck in the fire escape well, or the building burning down.
Because that’s how the universe seems to treat her when she’s trying to indulge herself.