[CHORUS:]
Now keep the chatter in tight, ’cause we can’t tell nobody!
Doctor Collodi was a weird schlemiel!
But you can talk ’bout the movie with mermaids …
The Internet ain’t real!
Whimsy movie coming soon,
In twenty-sixteen, it gets released!
But if Gavotte we end up telling
What Doctor C. was yelling,
Our chance to live that long decreased! [repeat CHORUS]
Any news we’re leaking out
Is getting lost in the rants and jokes!
Instead of going in our casebook,
We’re posting it on Facebook,
‘Cause web cartoonists ain’t real folks! [repeat CHORUS]
Yeah, it’s not like anyone’s going to believe Nick when he posts that the unicorn told him what the next movie was going to be about while he was undercover as a Whimsey princess.
They’re going to be all like, “Yeah, right, Zerhakker. You’re a cyborg helicopter. Where’d you get a frilly pink ballgown to fit an Osprey?”
Probably the same place Tip got a radiation-proof dress.
When you have connections to a secret world where dinosaurs like to wear nail polish, I can’t imagine finding a decent formal in any size is all that terribly hard.
Or some of the hyper-inflationary theories of cosmology, where the universe is so stupendously vast that it’s CERTAIN that somewhere there’s an exact duplicate of the Earth ruled by sentient chipmunks.
This is a terrifying possibility. If such is the case, then either: A. the Internet-entity is a deranged, schizophrenic sociopath, and now we have to live with it, or: B. the Internet-entity is a reasonably well-adjusted creature, which raises the possibility that perhaps my component cells are comparing each other to Hitler over “original Cloud versus Advent Children Cloud” and/or viewing fetish porn that would make the Marquis de Sade shudder.
Yeah, that’s a classic example of a Plan A. As soon as someone points that out, Sweetheart will go to Plan B, “don’t tell anyone other than Moustachio”. They will go to further plans as circumstances require.
Also, how are they going to keep it a secret when Unity can be bribed (or at least distracted) with sammiches, Tip could possibly be bought with enough fashionable clothing and even Sweetheart may reveal the info to someone waving around the correct paperwork. They may need a contingency plan.
Could they link Nick somehow so that he could read the memory drum instead of having to risk Moustachio’s reaction? I realize this is a rhetorical question.
I really want to see Whimsy mermaids. Not as they would appear in the movie, but as they surely must be in the Little House.
Hey, just because I’m on the internet doesn’t mean I’m not a real person…. or does it?
*Insert dramatic music*
Is that you Eliza?
Says the BOLO with the OGRE avatar…
Well, I’m on the internet and I’m not a real human, nyao, but I suppose super-intelligent housecats posing as catgirls online don’t count… >^_-<
(TUNE: “Another Saturday Night”, Sam Cooke)
[CHORUS:]
Now keep the chatter in tight, ’cause we can’t tell nobody!
Doctor Collodi was a weird schlemiel!
But you can talk ’bout the movie with mermaids …
The Internet ain’t real!
Whimsy movie coming soon,
In twenty-sixteen, it gets released!
But if Gavotte we end up telling
What Doctor C. was yelling,
Our chance to live that long decreased!
[repeat CHORUS]
Any news we’re leaking out
Is getting lost in the rants and jokes!
Instead of going in our casebook,
We’re posting it on Facebook,
‘Cause web cartoonists ain’t real folks!
[repeat CHORUS]
Oi! I resemble that assertion!
No real people. The Internet is populated by fragments of my imagination, and many of them are smarter and more talented than I.
I find that is the case for myself as well.
Yeah, it’s not like anyone’s going to believe Nick when he posts that the unicorn told him what the next movie was going to be about while he was undercover as a Whimsey princess.
They’re going to be all like, “Yeah, right, Zerhakker. You’re a cyborg helicopter. Where’d you get a frilly pink ballgown to fit an Osprey?”
Probably the same place Tip got a radiation-proof dress.
When you have connections to a secret world where dinosaurs like to wear nail polish, I can’t imagine finding a decent formal in any size is all that terribly hard.
It’s like one of those giant top-secret warehouses in Indiana Jones or The X Files, only it’s full of fashion.
That warehouse would be Tip’s new Quest. Or perhaps he has magical access to it already.
So that’s where all the Men’s Formal Wear, that’s both comfortable and good looking, are kept.
SyFy can start Warehouse 14 next year, with Tim Gunn as the mysterious warehouse keeper.
“It fit my drone body, the one I was wearing at the Star Trek thing with my hot, Asian girlf- Oh, for [Kirk’s] sake, you were THERE, you MET her!”
C’mon, guys. You know that what you post on the Internet is probably a lie, anyhow.
“world according to myth” concept means that somewhere, somewhen, in this universe or several parallels over – It IS real.
If you are not familiar with that concept – Heinlein’s “Number Of The Beast” and even the book/movie “The Neverending Story” both touch on it.
I just find RAH’s multiverse more entertaining.
Why not try on Robert Anton Wilson’s universe on for size? fnord
Or some of the hyper-inflationary theories of cosmology, where the universe is so stupendously vast that it’s CERTAIN that somewhere there’s an exact duplicate of the Earth ruled by sentient chipmunks.
“You can tell the Internet, but no real people” is my new favorite Skin Horse quote.
HE KNOWS THE TRUTH
After what we just saw with Whimsy corp., how do we know that the Internet isn’t, a real person?
That is a very real, and very disturbing, possibility.
In case that’s a real life example, Internet, we come in peace. Mostly.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wake_(Robert_J._Sawyer_novel)
This is a terrifying possibility. If such is the case, then either:
A. the Internet-entity is a deranged, schizophrenic sociopath, and now we have to live with it, or:
B. the Internet-entity is a reasonably well-adjusted creature, which raises the possibility that perhaps my component cells are comparing each other to Hitler over “original Cloud versus Advent Children Cloud” and/or viewing fetish porn that would make the Marquis de Sade shudder.
Terrifying.
In either case – you should be worried. This is the internet – Rule 34 applies, and probably Rule 63 as well.
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/rules-of-the-internet
The Internet is sufficiently complex to develop emergent phenomena.
Has anyone ever collected the first letters of the comments to see what they spell?
Jabberwonky: I think Skin Horse would know about that already.
And what are they planning to do with the memory drum, if it’s not supposed to leave their little clique?
Yeah, if anyone would know if the internet was a person, it’d be Zerhakker. He’d have called it a MONKEY LICKER by now…
Yeah, that’s a classic example of a Plan A. As soon as someone points that out, Sweetheart will go to Plan B, “don’t tell anyone other than Moustachio”. They will go to further plans as circumstances require.
Also, how are they going to keep it a secret when Unity can be bribed (or at least distracted) with sammiches, Tip could possibly be bought with enough fashionable clothing and even Sweetheart may reveal the info to someone waving around the correct paperwork. They may need a contingency plan.
You could get Sweetheart to reveal everything just by calling her a bad dog.
What if the Plan Bee doesn’t like the plan?
Suggestion- remove Moustachio’s arms before letting him run his old memory drum… Just a thought.
Could they link Nick somehow so that he could read the memory drum instead of having to risk Moustachio’s reaction? I realize this is a rhetorical question.
Nick, who can travel, might not be as good an idea. It should be easy to render Moustachio totally ‘armless.
Ha Ha! Good one Sweetheart. 🙂
…
…
HEY!!!
*angry face*
Can’t believe nobody said this:
So the movie really will kick fish, then.