Also the real Baron insults his interlocutor every time he speaks. His virtual analogues are too stupid and/or too hardwired to try to, uh, help? sell? whatever the hell they’re doing — to insult people properly.
And of course he’s going to be surrounded with what he no doubt thinks of as totty — and by the only suitable totty for someone like him, variants of himself.
In a crazy casino
In a plain VR pocket
Nick met up with the Baron,
Who had made a quantum leap.
Nick came to where he tracked him,
In a private node and sandbox,
Nick went inside to find him,
And then began to freak.
M. said, “Nick, I want some fun,
In the great Las Vegas palace.
And I came here to gamble,
And the ladies as my prize.
But when our party got here,
It was dark and cold and empty.
The Strip was all lights-out,
Terminal demise.”
Nick had to find the Baron,
‘Cause he needed information
Baron M. was where it happened,
And he had to see what gives
There were ten thousand copies
But just one with bling and bad mouth,
With his hand around his “ladies,”
And an insult on his lips.
He really knew when to hold ‘em,
Knew when to troll ‘em,
Knew when to talk away,
And know what is fun.
We never thought it funny
That he’s ripping up unstable,
And now it’s time for hounding,
With his feelings stunned.
Vegas casinos
Needs a cool Convention Center.
It’s knowing when to charge the roof,
And knowing what is cheap.
Baron M. found a problem,
Created a solution.
They were closed and shuttered IRL,
So there’s now one he can keep.
These effed-up Baron copies,
Polite and overeager,
They blocked all the exits,
And made Nick want to bleep.
And being all around him,
They made his flesh crawl even,
But Nick Zerhakker
Always knew that Baron was a creep.
He really knew when to hold ‘em,
Knew when to troll ‘em,
Knew when to talk away,
And know what is fun.
We never thought it funny
That he’s ripping up unstable,
And now it’s time for hounding,
With his feelings stunned.
—from “The Gambler,” written by Don Schlitz, sung by Kenny Rogers.
More from academic curiosity than prurient interest, I wonder: are the “ladies” actually female versions of Baron, or merely ones cross-dressed as Bugs Bunny did occasionally?
(As a Whimsy corporate product, probably neither are all that anatomically correct unless Baron figured out how to significantly patch the avatars.)
Don’t forget to not let him live it down when this is over.
Looking more and more like Asimov’s “Little Lost Robot” …
Yep, just look for the negativity…
More like a long, cold shower…
He’s not aroused. He feels dirty just from being in close proximity with these creatures. I get the same feeling from walking next to a pig pen.
Pretty sure the idea was that the cold one would be for Baron.
I think we’ve found the real Baron.
Yeah, even without the bling, the mouth would be a dead giveaway.
Also the real Baron insults his interlocutor every time he speaks. His virtual analogues are too stupid and/or too hardwired to try to, uh, help? sell? whatever the hell they’re doing — to insult people properly.
And of course he’s going to be surrounded with what he no doubt thinks of as totty — and by the only suitable totty for someone like him, variants of himself.
His affection for Aimee must not be operating in this pocket sandbox.
Looks like even the female versions of Baron M. have that little goatee…
Dwarf unicorns.
Shipping Garrity and Pratchett isn’t canon?
Also nice games, though if they’re parodies of anything, the references mean nothing to me.
This is actually pretty handy if Nick ever wants to tell Baron to go screw himself.
I’m sure what he sees here will provide enough visual reference for him to never, ever want to use that phrase at the Baron ever again.
In a crazy casino
In a plain VR pocket
Nick met up with the Baron,
Who had made a quantum leap.
Nick came to where he tracked him,
In a private node and sandbox,
Nick went inside to find him,
And then began to freak.
M. said, “Nick, I want some fun,
In the great Las Vegas palace.
And I came here to gamble,
And the ladies as my prize.
But when our party got here,
It was dark and cold and empty.
The Strip was all lights-out,
Terminal demise.”
Nick had to find the Baron,
‘Cause he needed information
Baron M. was where it happened,
And he had to see what gives
There were ten thousand copies
But just one with bling and bad mouth,
With his hand around his “ladies,”
And an insult on his lips.
He really knew when to hold ‘em,
Knew when to troll ‘em,
Knew when to talk away,
And know what is fun.
We never thought it funny
That he’s ripping up unstable,
And now it’s time for hounding,
With his feelings stunned.
Vegas casinos
Needs a cool Convention Center.
It’s knowing when to charge the roof,
And knowing what is cheap.
Baron M. found a problem,
Created a solution.
They were closed and shuttered IRL,
So there’s now one he can keep.
These effed-up Baron copies,
Polite and overeager,
They blocked all the exits,
And made Nick want to bleep.
And being all around him,
They made his flesh crawl even,
But Nick Zerhakker
Always knew that Baron was a creep.
He really knew when to hold ‘em,
Knew when to troll ‘em,
Knew when to talk away,
And know what is fun.
We never thought it funny
That he’s ripping up unstable,
And now it’s time for hounding,
With his feelings stunned.
—from “The Gambler,” written by Don Schlitz, sung by Kenny Rogers.
Every trip inside your imagination is more amusing and harrowing than the last.
More from academic curiosity than prurient interest, I wonder: are the “ladies” actually female versions of Baron, or merely ones cross-dressed as Bugs Bunny did occasionally?
(As a Whimsy corporate product, probably neither are all that anatomically correct unless Baron figured out how to significantly patch the avatars.)
It’s a virtual world no longer under Whimsy control. They can be as anatomically correct as he wants them to be.
I’m half expecting Nick to raise his arm and declare “Reveal: Baron!”, causing the real Mistycorn’s horn to glow…