Some of us used to answer the communal phone in our dorm with that and other variations, though the only other one I can remember at the moment was, “Morey Morgue, you kill ’em, we chill ’em.”
I once answered my phone with “Kiti’s cathouse, how can we make you purr?” Fortunately it was a friend of mine on the other end, so he got the joke, nyao…
A few I’ve heard over the years:
“Roadkill Cafe: you kill it, we grill it!”
“You’ve reached the office of [insert name here], veterinarian and taxidermist. Either way, you get your dog back.”
“[Insert name here]’s whorehouse: you got the dough, we got the ‘ho!”
I answered the phone at McDonalds once with “Ronnie’s Roadkill… You kill ‘em, we grill ‘em… Specializing in raccoons and opossums.” It turned out to be our district manager on the other end of the line. He was laughing so hard that I didn’t even get in trouble, although he did ask that I not answer the phone like that any more… at least not during 1st and 2nd shift.
(TUNE: “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me”, Harry Noble)
Touching! Touching!
Hemming, hawing, at a straw I’m
Clutching! Clutching!
Tried to say that I’m OK, it’s
Touching! Touching!
Touching that he’s so concerned for me …
Drinking! Drinking!
Yes, because I fear I wasn’t
Thinking! Thinking!
Drank a lot, it seems I got quite
Stinking! Stinking!
Took a break from dull sobriety!
I learned how to teleport with my mojo …
We dined at the Taco Bell by the sea …
Such fun that I said that I wouldn’t go, no!
But smarted up when Sweetheart said she’d tell my parents on me!
Tongue fest! Tongue fest!
Tip and Artie, sexy, smart, is
One best? One best?
Now I’ve sent some brains, preventing
Unrest! Unrest!
Nick is speechless, thanks to Unity!
Unity, that’s not helping..
Unity: “Oops – that came out wrong! She actually said she tongued some drunk guys!…”
Remember how UNITY keeps trying to kill Dr. Lee? Now she is doing it more subtlety, with words
So, Brian, are you implying that she has sampled the new goods?
With UNITY around the game of Telephone only requires one hop for near total message degradation.
I used to know a guy who answered the phone with “[x’s] funeral home, you stab’em we slab’em.” Until his mother caught him. I like Unity’s version.
I might have known that guy.
Was his name Dave?
I knew a guy who did that.
Was his name Dave?
My favorite is one that I used mainly around Halloween: “[reynard61’s] Prosthetics: Where it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg to get an arm and a leg!”
Some of us used to answer the communal phone in our dorm with that and other variations, though the only other one I can remember at the moment was, “Morey Morgue, you kill ’em, we chill ’em.”
I once answered my phone with “Kiti’s cathouse, how can we make you purr?” Fortunately it was a friend of mine on the other end, so he got the joke, nyao…
One of my personal faves was to answer the phone in a bad Russian accent with, “KGB Headquarters, Agent Badenov speaking…”
Amazing how quickly that one made telemarketers hang up.
Another good one that I used once was (in a mock-Italian accent): “Corleone’s Meat Market–If your paizano’s not nice, we’ll put him on ice!” ^_^
A few I’ve heard over the years:
“Roadkill Cafe: you kill it, we grill it!”
“You’ve reached the office of [insert name here], veterinarian and taxidermist. Either way, you get your dog back.”
“[Insert name here]’s whorehouse: you got the dough, we got the ‘ho!”
My dad does that and his name is Edward.
I answered the phone at McDonalds once with “Ronnie’s Roadkill… You kill ‘em, we grill ‘em… Specializing in raccoons and opossums.” It turned out to be our district manager on the other end of the line. He was laughing so hard that I didn’t even get in trouble, although he did ask that I not answer the phone like that any more… at least not during 1st and 2nd shift.
(TUNE: “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me”, Harry Noble)
Touching! Touching!
Hemming, hawing, at a straw I’m
Clutching! Clutching!
Tried to say that I’m OK, it’s
Touching! Touching!
Touching that he’s so concerned for me …
Drinking! Drinking!
Yes, because I fear I wasn’t
Thinking! Thinking!
Drank a lot, it seems I got quite
Stinking! Stinking!
Took a break from dull sobriety!
I learned how to teleport with my mojo …
We dined at the Taco Bell by the sea …
Such fun that I said that I wouldn’t go, no!
But smarted up when Sweetheart said she’d tell my parents on me!
Tongue fest! Tongue fest!
Tip and Artie, sexy, smart, is
One best? One best?
Now I’ve sent some brains, preventing
Unrest! Unrest!
Nick is speechless, thanks to Unity!
Nick, it’s because the dating sims generally provide you with the options. It’s like how playing a rail shooter doesn’t much prepare you for a FPS.
That’s one of the best metaphors I’ve ever heard.
Yeah, but “Unity, you’re an idiot.” is something he should have picked up by now working for Skin Horse
Telephone is such a fun game.
And dozens of fanfic were born…