The filk depends on the perspective. In reference to someone watching, you need merely imagine “Every breath you take” – but sung in a Peter Lorre voice. OK – not a “true” filk, but what filk is really true? In reference to what madam is doing in the bushes… well… that wouldn’t be quite proper, would it?
Strangely enough, a friend of mine once performed “Every Breath You Take” in just that style. He’s still hiding from militant Sting fans, but it really is a creepy stalker song.
Even stranger, Der Schting himself said in an interview some years back that the song really is about surveillance and stalking, it’s supposed to be creepy, and he was surprised and a little creeped out at how people thought it was “romantic” and called it “our song.” Yet another form of reality blindness?
Okay, so after oneuniverse2’s comment was polluted by Dr. Steve’s remark, I couldn’t NOT do this. So, here is “Hitty’s Stalker,” to the tune of “Every Breath You Take” by The Police.
Every step you take and every squeak you make,
Every branch you shake, every quick rest break,
Something’s watching you
Every place you hide, every head that rides
While Mustachio guides, even undersides,
Someone’s watching you
How can this be? We’re in New Jersey.
Aren’t road trips fun? Even under the gun…
Every choice you make, and what Hitty breaks,
For completeness sake, every potty break
Someone’s watching you.
On the road you had almost lost my trace
But it’s hard to hide your gigantic face
There are robots one simply can’t replace
Though you’re cold I just want one iron embrace
So I long for Hitty, Hitty, please…
How can this be? We’re in New Jersey.
Aren’t road trips fun? Even under the gun…
Every choice you make, and what Hitty breaks,
For completeness sake, every potty break
Someone’s watching you.
Every step you take and every squeak you make,
Someone’s watching you.
Someone’s watching you
Every step you take and every squeak you make,
Every branch you shake, every quick rest break,
Something’s watching you
Everything each day, every brief delay
Every snake at play, every sunshine ray
No, she’s making a declarative statement that the rest stop is creepy, rather than the inquiry as to whether the rest stop is creepy that would be represented by ‘==’.
‘Dat Underside
I’m waiting for the FILK.
The filk depends on the perspective. In reference to someone watching, you need merely imagine “Every breath you take” – but sung in a Peter Lorre voice. OK – not a “true” filk, but what filk is really true? In reference to what madam is doing in the bushes… well… that wouldn’t be quite proper, would it?
Strangely enough, a friend of mine once performed “Every Breath You Take” in just that style. He’s still hiding from militant Sting fans, but it really is a creepy stalker song.
Even stranger, Der Schting himself said in an interview some years back that the song really is about surveillance and stalking, it’s supposed to be creepy, and he was surprised and a little creeped out at how people thought it was “romantic” and called it “our song.” Yet another form of reality blindness?
Not from me, I’ve already done one this week. Though I was sore tempted yesterday.
Wow. I was not expecting that.
Um, would it work the same way with robots?
What could be safer than the New Jersey Dept. Of Transportation? I’m sure there’s a Chris Christie joke in there somewhere…
There *is* something creepy watching Hitty—Moustachio!
What’s this? Pronoun use?
This is foreshadowing, right? Horrible hilarious foreshadowing?
These two are so adorable awwwwwww
Okay, so after oneuniverse2’s comment was polluted by Dr. Steve’s remark, I couldn’t NOT do this. So, here is “Hitty’s Stalker,” to the tune of “Every Breath You Take” by The Police.
Every step you take and every squeak you make,
Every branch you shake, every quick rest break,
Something’s watching you
Every place you hide, every head that rides
While Mustachio guides, even undersides,
Someone’s watching you
How can this be? We’re in New Jersey.
Aren’t road trips fun? Even under the gun…
Every choice you make, and what Hitty breaks,
For completeness sake, every potty break
Someone’s watching you.
On the road you had almost lost my trace
But it’s hard to hide your gigantic face
There are robots one simply can’t replace
Though you’re cold I just want one iron embrace
So I long for Hitty, Hitty, please…
How can this be? We’re in New Jersey.
Aren’t road trips fun? Even under the gun…
Every choice you make, and what Hitty breaks,
For completeness sake, every potty break
Someone’s watching you.
Every step you take and every squeak you make,
Someone’s watching you.
Someone’s watching you
Every step you take and every squeak you make,
Every branch you shake, every quick rest break,
Something’s watching you
Everything each day, every brief delay
Every snake at play, every sunshine ray
[repeat final six lines and fade]
That was more amusing than I thought it would be. Thanks. 🙂
I know, I know, but Hitty is a robot and using an equal sign like that does not mean what you think it means.
In programming, a single equals sign is an assigner. Hitty is effectively saying she is making the rest stop creepy.
If you wanted her to state that she thinks it is creepy, you want ==
Pedantic Pony Programmer out.
Pedantic Pony Programmer != Cowgirl Coder?
I hope…
Depends on the programming language. Maybe Hitty is programmed in Pascal.
Or maybe the mad scientist who made her came up with his/her own programming language.
No, she’s making a declarative statement that the rest stop is creepy, rather than the inquiry as to whether the rest stop is creepy that would be represented by ‘==’.
Totally unrelated to the comic, but I just had to share – hey, Shaenon! Your alma mater made this list of “10 Most Hipster Colleges” (mine did too): http://www.collegemagazine.com/10-hipster-colleges/
My first, second, and third college choices are all on there. I am such a pinko.
The Vassar campus just doesn’t look right since they cut the ivy back…
Wag station? Is that a thing people actually used to say?
_Way_-station. His font has caused ambiguity, alas.
–Dave