A gentleman always asks, whether the lady is armed or not. Mind you, she has such a cute little nose that I’d take my time getting to the bustier anyway.
Decades ago, the big public market in Baltimore had a guy on the night staff whose job was rat control. He would bicycle around the inside at night with a flashlight and a .22 taped to the handlebars. It was aligned so that when he lit up a rat, he just pulled the trigger. Best. Job. Ever!
I feel like this might turn into a “demon hunter Seth” thing where she keeps offering to tell everyone about her secret pain but no one is ever listening.
(TUNE: “Seasons In The Sun”, Jacques Brel & Rod McKuen, sung by Terry Jacks)
Hello to you, sir, Captain Tip!
I’m here to help assist you while on this trip!
I’ve got the firepower that you lack …
When the zombie hordes attack,
I will shoot them in the back!
Now come on, Captain, move with speed!
Up to the drive room now, it’s you they need!
With all the boffins waiting there …
Not a moment left to spare!
I’ll protect your derriere!
Here to help, here to aid,
I’ll go shooting in my shades!
As we run through the train,
I’ll reveal my secret pain!
Now shut your cakehole, Violet Bee!
Your attitude is simply annoying me!
We’re going to leave you far behind,
For the zombies all to find;
If they eat you, I won’t mind!
Now come on, Captain, move with haste!
If zombies block our way, their butts I’ll waste!
I’ll blow their shambling shapes to slime!
Man, this job is just sublime,
Though I don’t get paid a dime!
Here to help, here to aid,
I’ll go shooting in my shades!
Yeah, my pain is so cool,
’Cause my vengance it will fuel!
Not knowing the song you parody, the 2nd set of verses i’m mentally hearing in the voice/melody from the spoken portions of the old comedy song “homecoming queen’s got a gun”
It’s less an earworm than a crime against nature. I liked Rod McKuen and I worshipped Jacques Brel—until I heard this drivel. And it would only be better in French if you understood no French at all. I can only wish they had meant it as a joke, but I’m quite sure they didn’t.
I’m guessing she reads Hot Goblin Brotherhood, which will influence her relationship with Sweetheart and Unity, should she live long enough to meet them.
So, was she just hanging out on the train in expectation that the zombies would go berzerk at some point, or did she have some sort of regular St. Charlie madsci job and this was just her lucky day? And is she a mad scientist, a minion, or someone’s creation? (She doesn’t _look_ like a freak of nature, but sometimes you can’t tell)
My first thought is still Suzie Shooter.
Note that both other people in that room are still alive. That’s how you know it isn’t Suzie Shooter.
“Hired?” – Oh, how I want her job! Don’t think I could pull off the bustier, though.
Don’t try pulling off the bustier without asking first, she’s armed.
Also, she’s doing this pro malo.
A gentleman always asks, whether the lady is armed or not. Mind you, she has such a cute little nose that I’d take my time getting to the bustier anyway.
For the apple?
I don’t know. How do you want her job?
Apparently she wants her job too.
Tip can pull off the bustier.
Yes and no – he’s admitted to padding for certain outfits – For the Monty-Python effect he’d need LOTS – and it’d show.
I think as a point of pride not to leave any give-aways.
I think woozy was going for a different meaning of “pull off” the bustier.
I try to make a point of going off in other directions. It keeps people confused. Gotta keep things surreal.
Woozy, I work in an office building. It’s infested with zombies.
Decades ago, the big public market in Baltimore had a guy on the night staff whose job was rat control. He would bicycle around the inside at night with a flashlight and a .22 taped to the handlebars. It was aligned so that when he lit up a rat, he just pulled the trigger. Best. Job. Ever!
OddManOut: Too voluble, even publically articulate. On the other hand, John Taylor could probably sort this train out pretty quick….
I feel like this might turn into a “demon hunter Seth” thing where she keeps offering to tell everyone about her secret pain but no one is ever listening.
I *was* wondering how badly it would hurt her feelings if someone said “no”
I think that it’s more a case of how badly she would hurt you if you said no.
Actually… This is the Narbonverse. I’m guessing she *is* Seth.
Maybe that’s why Tip isn’t showing any attraction.
(TUNE: “Seasons In The Sun”, Jacques Brel & Rod McKuen, sung by Terry Jacks)
Hello to you, sir, Captain Tip!
I’m here to help assist you while on this trip!
I’ve got the firepower that you lack …
When the zombie hordes attack,
I will shoot them in the back!
Now come on, Captain, move with speed!
Up to the drive room now, it’s you they need!
With all the boffins waiting there …
Not a moment left to spare!
I’ll protect your derriere!
Here to help, here to aid,
I’ll go shooting in my shades!
As we run through the train,
I’ll reveal my secret pain!
Now shut your cakehole, Violet Bee!
Your attitude is simply annoying me!
We’re going to leave you far behind,
For the zombies all to find;
If they eat you, I won’t mind!
Now come on, Captain, move with haste!
If zombies block our way, their butts I’ll waste!
I’ll blow their shambling shapes to slime!
Man, this job is just sublime,
Though I don’t get paid a dime!
Here to help, here to aid,
I’ll go shooting in my shades!
Yeah, my pain is so cool,
’Cause my vengance it will fuel!
Not knowing the song you parody, the 2nd set of verses i’m mentally hearing in the voice/melody from the spoken portions of the old comedy song “homecoming queen’s got a gun”
This is what YouTube is for. Mind you, the song is kind of an earworm, so beware …
It’s less an earworm than a crime against nature. I liked Rod McKuen and I worshipped Jacques Brel—until I heard this drivel. And it would only be better in French if you understood no French at all. I can only wish they had meant it as a joke, but I’m quite sure they didn’t.
And I should add, Ed, that your lyrics are 100 times better than the original. Still stuck with the organ-grinder melody, though.
The “Hired?” line reminds me of Soldier from Team Fortress 2. He’s fought in at least five different wars and no one even asked him!
You mean they actually get paid for shooting zombies?
Uh… no.
I’m guessing she reads Hot Goblin Brotherhood, which will influence her relationship with Sweetheart and Unity, should she live long enough to meet them.
If Manifesta and Fiddlerbird are right, she may write Hot Goblin Brotherhood.
Of course, she doesn’t know about Tip’s named guns. (Alice?)
Jdreyfuss: That’s the only reason it’s still a “secret” pain. On the other hand, Tip is a shrink, no way could he pass up that line.
Why do I get the feeling if someone actually asks for her secret pain, she’ll just go “psych!”
Some people don’t need a backstory; they just enjoy the job.
Her secret pain is that she doesn’t really have any secret pain.
So, was she just hanging out on the train in expectation that the zombies would go berzerk at some point, or did she have some sort of regular St. Charlie madsci job and this was just her lucky day? And is she a mad scientist, a minion, or someone’s creation? (She doesn’t _look_ like a freak of nature, but sometimes you can’t tell)
Hmm. Think she and Unity will get on like a house on fire.
…
With all the running and the screaming and the burning…
I ship her and Seth now.
Wow, angry sex that isn’t hatesex!
St. Charlie hired someone to shoot their own citizens? ”
Most cities have police, Tip.
That’s what I was thinking.
“St. Charlie hired someone to shoot their own citizens?”
“They’re called ‘Police’, Tip.”
Ohhhhhh, SHE’s the female Seth!