After “There is Nothing Like a Dame”
By Rogers and Hammerstein
He’s got attitude to spare.
He’s completely free of guilt.
with a nasty reputation
that he plays up to the hilt.
He’s just a bit meshuga,
Though he comes off rather sane.
Word of advice:
Don’t cross The Dane!
He rides a ninja bike
And he sports a black goatee.
He’s got oodles of charisma
That makes everybody squee.
He’s got homicidal urges
Kept inside his steely frame.
Take my advice:
Don’t cross The Dane!
Claire and Zombie Ben,
They thought that a truce was called for…
But truce is a word
That The Dane has absolutely no use at all for.
Don’t be messin’ with The Dane.
Buddy, take my word.
Anyone with half a brain
Keeps a healthy distance from The Dane.
You know…he’s (at least known as) a Mad, and he wants to eliminate the Mads.
Now…who does that remind me of? Hm…
Hm…
Ah!
They’re Othar and The Dane
Othar and The Dane
Both possessed of mad genus
And wholly insane!
Their goal for today
Is ‘make Mad Science go away’
Because it’s a pain-
They’re Othar and The Dane, Dane, Dane, Dane
Dane, Dane, Dane, Dane-
There is literally no other explanation as to why or how Zombie Ben Franklin would refrain from eating The Dane for this long into the fight. His zombie mad scientist brain must be using ALL of its resources to override its every natural impulse, logic, and all common sense. He must be internally chanting the mantra “because the script says so because the script says so because the script says so” to keep himself from eating The Dane for this long.
Stop killing off characters just to make Unity or Captain Beyond or whoever look good when they finally take out The Dane. It’s hack writing. You’re supposed to be better than this. These fictional characters had lives and families and you’re throwing all that away in a lame attempt to make a villain seem worse. What exactly are you trying to do, make Man of Steel here?
Y’know… they could be going somewhere with this. Not to mention the ample methods of escaping death that mad science provides. Have faith dear reader.
Also, the Dane is probably a better fighter than our zombie friend, plus he has a lightsaber, so it was probably a foregone conclusion. And there’s no saying that he’s dead… er, deader.
I think he’s one of those characters where ‘Mary Sue’ is LITERALLY their superpower :p
More seriously, they’re going somewhere with this. And decapitated zombie? Superglue. Stabbed with a light saber? Self cauterizing wound. And the gun pulls to the left all the time…
Oh, wait. Superior intelligence. Natural ungodly charisma that draws people into their orbit. Able to accomplish the Impossible with ease, and without explanation, in ways others can’t replicate, by sheer power of AWESOME.
‘Mary Sue as a Superpower’ is just ‘Mad Scientist’ isn’t it :p
Except Mad Scientists are usually original. Mary Sue, at 15 the youngest lieutenant in Star Fleet, effortlessly exceeds all the main characters at their respective speciality, and has no speciality of her own. Every mad scientist needs a gimmick of their own that can only be reproduced by themselves and Mary Sue.
*holding Dead Tom’s body*
“Tom Tom TOOOM! Dead Tom’s DEAD! Long John SHOT him!”
“But…but Dead Tom’s always been dead. That’s why he’s called Dead Tom.”
“Oh”
*unceremoniously drops skeleton*
He speaks the truth! Half of me wants to strangle him. The other half of me’s saying “well, at least he’s honest…”
The trouble is people who treat honesty like the prime virtue. Sure he killed all those folks, but he wasn’t a HYPOCRITE about it. That’d be WRONG.
Point taken.
Looking at the year this was posted, I can tell how this mindset changed over time.
After “There is Nothing Like a Dame”
By Rogers and Hammerstein
He’s got attitude to spare.
He’s completely free of guilt.
with a nasty reputation
that he plays up to the hilt.
He’s just a bit meshuga,
Though he comes off rather sane.
Word of advice:
Don’t cross The Dane!
He rides a ninja bike
And he sports a black goatee.
He’s got oodles of charisma
That makes everybody squee.
He’s got homicidal urges
Kept inside his steely frame.
Take my advice:
Don’t cross The Dane!
Claire and Zombie Ben,
They thought that a truce was called for…
But truce is a word
That The Dane has absolutely no use at all for.
Don’t be messin’ with The Dane.
Buddy, take my word.
Anyone with half a brain
Keeps a healthy distance from The Dane.
Bravo!
Double Bravo!!
You know…he’s (at least known as) a Mad, and he wants to eliminate the Mads.
Now…who does that remind me of? Hm…
Hm…
Ah!
They’re Othar and The Dane
Othar and The Dane
Both possessed of mad genus
And wholly insane!
Their goal for today
Is ‘make Mad Science go away’
Because it’s a pain-
They’re Othar and The Dane, Dane, Dane, Dane
Dane, Dane, Dane, Dane-
NARF!
Actually he reminds me of OTHAR TRYGVASSEN, GENTELMAN ADVENTURER!
Except this one is no gentelman.
Alas poor Dan, he never got any respect. Even after he grew the mustache.
Pass the superglue.
But he was already dead when you cut his head off!
Seriously.
Mary. Sue. Written. By. Joss. Friggin’. Whedon.
There is literally no other explanation as to why or how Zombie Ben Franklin would refrain from eating The Dane for this long into the fight. His zombie mad scientist brain must be using ALL of its resources to override its every natural impulse, logic, and all common sense. He must be internally chanting the mantra “because the script says so because the script says so because the script says so” to keep himself from eating The Dane for this long.
Stop killing off characters just to make Unity or Captain Beyond or whoever look good when they finally take out The Dane. It’s hack writing. You’re supposed to be better than this. These fictional characters had lives and families and you’re throwing all that away in a lame attempt to make a villain seem worse. What exactly are you trying to do, make Man of Steel here?
Y’know… they could be going somewhere with this. Not to mention the ample methods of escaping death that mad science provides. Have faith dear reader.
Also, the Dane is probably a better fighter than our zombie friend, plus he has a lightsaber, so it was probably a foregone conclusion. And there’s no saying that he’s dead… er, deader.
I think he’s one of those characters where ‘Mary Sue’ is LITERALLY their superpower :p
More seriously, they’re going somewhere with this. And decapitated zombie? Superglue. Stabbed with a light saber? Self cauterizing wound. And the gun pulls to the left all the time…
Oh, wait. Superior intelligence. Natural ungodly charisma that draws people into their orbit. Able to accomplish the Impossible with ease, and without explanation, in ways others can’t replicate, by sheer power of AWESOME.
‘Mary Sue as a Superpower’ is just ‘Mad Scientist’ isn’t it :p
Except Mad Scientists are usually original. Mary Sue, at 15 the youngest lieutenant in Star Fleet, effortlessly exceeds all the main characters at their respective speciality, and has no speciality of her own. Every mad scientist needs a gimmick of their own that can only be reproduced by themselves and Mary Sue.
And Dan wasn’t even the one who claimed to have some sort of protection because of “narrative laws”, whatever they are.
Is The Dane patterned after Evil Commander Riker or am I projecting?
Nah…Dopple Riker wasn’t nearly as much of a tool as hamlet over there.
*holding Dead Tom’s body*
“Tom Tom TOOOM! Dead Tom’s DEAD! Long John SHOT him!”
“But…but Dead Tom’s always been dead. That’s why he’s called Dead Tom.”
“Oh”
*unceremoniously drops skeleton*
I daresay that for that well placed reference you, sir, have won the Internet for today 😀
Does the Dane always speak of himself in the third person?
It occurs to me that The Dane is basically the embodiment of The Man. It isn’t a matter of authority, but of attitude.