I don’t know…H.T.’s probably not that big on the idea of a turtle killing him in his sleep. I mean, killing prey while it’s sleeping is just not sporting.
I’m going to say neither, the training’s deficient because the turtles don’t realize A) they are not capable of what they intend, and will have to make do with mere insect-murder and B) that stating your intentions is counterproductive even if you are capable.
Probably also C) the turtle doesn’t have a proper adorable little voice but instead the sort of innocence that makes you go on red alert.
A) They’re genetic creations. What’s to say they aren’t capable of what they say? Maybe it’s the others who don’t realize that the turtles are capable of it.
B) Stating your intentions is only counter-productive if your intended victim actually believes you are capable of what you say. Sometimes actually telling people what you’re planning can be more useful than hiding it if your victims won’t believe it anyway.
And of course there’s also the possibility that their victims will believe they’ll kill them in their sleep, the result of which belief could be either A) the victim will eventually kill themselves with sleep deprivation, which is actually pretty difficult because B) the victim will go without sleep long enough to finally fall into a sleep so deep they cannot awaken to fight back (but either way with sleep deprivation leading up to their ultimate demise).
Because it’s obvious. Turtle ninjas work by infiltration, not by going up and telling them what they’re going to do. It would be kind of difficult to sell these to every home in America if the turtles sound like Michael Myers.
Given what H.T. could do with these turtles in that circumstance, maybe we should encourage Tony’s efforts.
Is it wrong that I’d totally prefer that turtle to one that spews cutesy stuff? I mean, provided that it doesn’t actually mean it; I do have some self-preservation left.
What really sells this is just how gosh-darn proud Tony is of his murder turtle.
Tiny mutant cutesy turtles,
Tiny mutant cutesy turtles,
Tiny mutant cutesy turtles,
Housepets in a half-shell,
Turtle power!
They’re housepets trained by possums and H.T.
(I want to kill!)
They’re trained to be adorable, you see.
(I wish you ill!)
But the one that’s trained by Tony,
(Die! Die! Die!)
Thinks being loved is just baloney.
Tiny mutant killer turtles,
Tiny mutant killer turtles,
Tiny mutant killer turtles,
Killers in a half-shell,
Murder power!
I think the turtles are supposed to be an army of voters for whatever H.T. wants, assuming the referendum passes. I don’t think H.T. wants murder-turtles.
While his short-term plans are painfully transparent, I can’t figure his long-term strategy. Nothing we’ve seen from him suggests he’s remotely prepared for a war with humanity, yet he’s doing his very best to set one off.
His long-term goal is to replace the human-only government with an NHS-only government. That’s why he wants to flip the current paradigm from NHS’s wanting to integrate into human society but humans being mostly resistant to change to one where humans want to integrate NHS’s but NHS societies are mostly controlled by separatists.
HT’s plan is to train the turtles to subliminally influence election results in order to push his agenda of replacing the current human-only US government with a NHS-only government he can control. That’s why he doesn’t want murder turtles. The dead don’t vote and those remaining would have a well-founded anti-NHS bias.
Obligatory:
http://lh4.ggpht.com/-jQpY0tu5e8k/UxaaQLjRRuI/AAAAAAAAfBE/QqwuapIaLJQ/MANS-LIFE-May-1957.-Cover-by-Wil-Hul.jpg?imgmax=800
Its just so beautiful…thank you.
I had no idea i needed this in my life, but I clearly do!
That … Looks like … Yertle’s pond…
SUrely you cannot mean Salama-sond?
Internet winner!
Tony’s really pushing his chance of HT finding out how tasty he really is…
Hmmm…. H.T. showing a sane façade. This does not bode well. He’s up to something.
I don’t know…H.T.’s probably not that big on the idea of a turtle killing him in his sleep. I mean, killing prey while it’s sleeping is just not sporting.
And it just ruins his marketing efforts, too.
Is the training deficient because they’re killers or deficient because it’s obvious?
I’m going to say neither, the training’s deficient because the turtles don’t realize A) they are not capable of what they intend, and will have to make do with mere insect-murder and B) that stating your intentions is counterproductive even if you are capable.
Probably also C) the turtle doesn’t have a proper adorable little voice but instead the sort of innocence that makes you go on red alert.
I’d say A is debatable: they’re Mad Science products, they might have adorable little neurotoxin injectors in their beaks or something.
A) They’re genetic creations. What’s to say they aren’t capable of what they say? Maybe it’s the others who don’t realize that the turtles are capable of it.
B) Stating your intentions is only counter-productive if your intended victim actually believes you are capable of what you say. Sometimes actually telling people what you’re planning can be more useful than hiding it if your victims won’t believe it anyway.
And of course there’s also the possibility that their victims will believe they’ll kill them in their sleep, the result of which belief could be either A) the victim will eventually kill themselves with sleep deprivation, which is actually pretty difficult because B) the victim will go without sleep long enough to finally fall into a sleep so deep they cannot awaken to fight back (but either way with sleep deprivation leading up to their ultimate demise).
They could just be happy little
They could just be happy little house pets… That were built to help remove or weaken reality blindness.
Because it’s obvious. Turtle ninjas work by infiltration, not by going up and telling them what they’re going to do. It would be kind of difficult to sell these to every home in America if the turtles sound like Michael Myers.
Given what H.T. could do with these turtles in that circumstance, maybe we should encourage Tony’s efforts.
Is it wrong that I’d totally prefer that turtle to one that spews cutesy stuff? I mean, provided that it doesn’t actually mean it; I do have some self-preservation left.
This is how they get you.
What really sells this is just how gosh-darn proud Tony is of his murder turtle.
Tiny mutant cutesy turtles,
Tiny mutant cutesy turtles,
Tiny mutant cutesy turtles,
Housepets in a half-shell,
Turtle power!
They’re housepets trained by possums and H.T.
(I want to kill!)
They’re trained to be adorable, you see.
(I wish you ill!)
But the one that’s trained by Tony,
(Die! Die! Die!)
Thinks being loved is just baloney.
Tiny mutant killer turtles,
Tiny mutant killer turtles,
Tiny mutant killer turtles,
Killers in a half-shell,
Murder power!
It’s not a teenager yet.
Also… “Good eating on a Turtle”.
I think the turtles are supposed to be an army of voters for whatever H.T. wants, assuming the referendum passes. I don’t think H.T. wants murder-turtles.
Good point. He did mention wanting to elect officials who would legalize eating humans.
While his short-term plans are painfully transparent, I can’t figure his long-term strategy. Nothing we’ve seen from him suggests he’s remotely prepared for a war with humanity, yet he’s doing his very best to set one off.
His long-term goal is to replace the human-only government with an NHS-only government. That’s why he wants to flip the current paradigm from NHS’s wanting to integrate into human society but humans being mostly resistant to change to one where humans want to integrate NHS’s but NHS societies are mostly controlled by separatists.
That one’s for Bubbles’s family. They need a safe house pet.
aaaaaand I was wrong
Upset about the mania, or the honesty? Hmmm…
So the turtles have the soul of a house cat. What’s the big deal?*
*(Well, what do you THINK goes through a cats mind all day?)
Yup! I’ve definitely had cats like this. You have to keep them pacified with treats.
HT’s plan is to train the turtles to subliminally influence election results in order to push his agenda of replacing the current human-only US government with a NHS-only government he can control. That’s why he doesn’t want murder turtles. The dead don’t vote and those remaining would have a well-founded anti-NHS bias.
#12?