Skin Horse Application by Jesse Berg
Shaenon: Jesse Berg sent us this extremely accurate piece of SH departmental paperwork. Thank you so much!
Channing: The #1 response in “Justification,” on a lateral review of all extant filed copies of this form, is “It was a complicated situation.”
In other happy news, the Skin Horse 6 Kickstarter is now closed, topping out (as of this writing) at a record-breaking $23,125. Thanks to all 374 backers for making that possible, and thanks to absolutely everyone for reading, whether you backed or not. It is flattering and humbling to have your support. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, and the top of it, and all portions of the heart in between.
Headcanon accepted!
And, congrats on the KS guys. 🙂
Awesome, I love it!
One minor nitpick, it asks for Acceptable Causalities. That’s for the Department of Precambrian Defense,.
Only when it pertains to matters Precambrian and the defense therefrom and/or thereof
I find myself worried about what, exactly, you’re putting the Demihuman Sauce (TM) on.
IANAL, but I think it would in fact be a trademark rather than a copyright suit if it involves a single word or phrase.
I don’t think demi-human is the most inclusive way to express the option, even if the legal challenge fails. What would you put on the form if someone approached you on the basis that he was 2/3 god?
This is all nit-picking, though.
Unless you hail from a species in which the mechanics of biological gender and reproduction are radically different from any living organism known to exist on earth, I’m pretty sure being 2/3 anything is a mathematical and biological impossibility. Although I suppose exceptions can be made for Island of Doctor Moreau-style surgically constructed composite creatures.
We usually take desscent as being a question of mixing up DNA. I know scientists in this world have been looking into using DNA from three “parents”, but I don’t know how far they’ve got.
Scientists in Skin Horse’s world can be much more creative, so I think this is something the team can expect to encounter sooner or later.
As for Gilgamesh, I don’t think the details of his conception were ever spelt out.
Remember, incest among gods is very much a thing. So if one set of your grandparents was brother and sister, then you’ve only got 6 great grandparents. If 4 of them were gods, then you’re 2/3rds god, no DNA meddling involved.
Um, no. That’s not how math works. See, if one set of your grandparents are brother and sister, they don’t count as a single being. Amount of great grandparents means nothing, humans are still half the ancestry of one parent and half the other.
I’m not sure that’s the case. If incest is involved, you are twice as closely related to someone as you would be otherwise. If for instance your paternal grandparents are brother and sister, and gods, while your maternal grandparents are unrelated humans, you would still be half human and half god — not one-third god.
If Helen spliced selected bits of human and god DNA in her lab, of course, all bets are off. You needn’t sum inverse powers of two in that case.
“We do a lot of heroic things, but if we don’t fill out the paperwork nobody will ever know about it.” —paraphrase of “Barney Miller” line.
“An Abomination Against All That Is Holy”
Wait, so I qualify for services from Skin Horse? I didn’t know that!
So we’re both going to the “Rampage Minimization Training” classes? See ya there!
You DO realize if you take proper notes – a Rampage Minimization class can be modified into a Maximization class…..
Hence the 32% effectiveness
I kind of want to see the seal/logo of the Department of Shadow Government now
You already saw it. It’s a subliminal logo.
I would ask who the Secretary of Shadow Government is, but that’s probably classified information.
(and maybe the title of the position is actually Lurker General)
Is a trans-human like a transsexual? Humans who used to be animals, animals who used to be human, and beings in transition?
And what is a meta-human? People aware they are living in a web comic? Or people who are also abstract concepts?
I’ve seen “metahuman” used for superhero/supervillain types in a few places.
Aren’t there other departments for that kind of thing, though? I’m surprised that either of them made the checklist.
As far as I understand:
Trans-human is, indeed, someone who transformed (or transforms) to or from a human state.
Meta-human is someone who has trascended humanity, whether by accident of birth or achievement.
Demi-human is someone who is partially human, but has non-human traits.
There may be some overlap between them (for example, I believe Deadpool would qualify as all three).
Transhumanism is actually an real movement revolving around the goal of using science to become “more than human” via such methods as genetic modification, cybernetic augmentation, brain uploading, super serums, gamma radiation, power armor, being chosen as the avatar of a major pagan deity, discovering absurd loopholes in the laws of physics, archery practice, etc.
It should be noted that while there are plenty of transhumanists, there has yet to be an actual transhuman. Also, it’s possible that I’m confusing transhumanists with the Avengers
cau·sal·i·ty
/kôˈzalədē/
noun: causality
1. the relationship between cause and effect.
2. the principle that everything has a cause.
So, would Skin Horse be the Cause or the Effect? Or the relationship?
“I ‘ship your effects?”
Where do I file this damn thing anyway??
In all seriousness, “migratory range” should be an option for humans.
Where do they stand on Parent to an abomination against all that is holy? I’m asking for a “friend”
Nearly every parent (with a few exceptional exceptions) – generally around 14 to 16 years after becoming a parent – fits the category of “Parent to an abomination against all that is holy”, but if they’re doing their job as a parent, that status only lasts for a very short time, so that’s sort of a moot point.
And the category of “Abomination against all that is holy” should be a sub-category, or really a separate question altogether, since it can also apply to humans. And if a sapient being is not in one of the hyphen-human categories above, then the only category left is “human”, in which case, they are not eligible for Skin Horse services.
Psst!
Awgiedawgie, you there?
Always.
This is my modest contribution (if modest isn’t too grandiose a word) to Skin Horse fan art. You will see, my views on paperwork are not newly come to.
Anybody who is anybody loves a bit of paperwork. It keeps the busybodies busy, and most everyone else confused, thereby freeing those few others of us to actually get something done once in a while.