If he could dominate zucchini, millions of gardeners will pay handsomely for his services. And if he can dominate kuzu, the South would elect him as general. I just hope kuzu & zucchini don’t ever cross pollinate.
(TUNE: “When I Was A Lad”, from H.M.S. Pinafore, Gilbert & Sullivan)
[GORGOTH:]
When Gorgoth was built, then him decide
That the puny humans should be terrified!
So Gorgoth going forth to dominate,
And the human population, him would subjugate!
[NERA & JONAH:]
Yes, the human population he would subjugate! [G:]
Him subjugate the world so terrible,
But now him only dominate a veg’table!
[N & J:]
He’d subjugate the world so terrible,
But now he only dominates a veg’table!
[G:]
Then superheroes (them are such a pain)
Put a microchip inside of Gorgoth brain!
And Gorgoth finding out that now him can’t
Try to dominate a human, just a puny plant!
[N & J:]
He can’t dominate a human, just a puny plant! [G:]
Now Gorgoth is a monster laughable
‘Cause him can only dominate a veg’table!
[N & J:]
Poor Gorgoth is a monster laughable
’Cause he can only dominate a veg’table!
[G:]
Now kids come visiting so fearlessly,
Them know the treachery of broccoli!
They think of something suiting Gorgoth’s style
Such as managing the supermarket produce aisle!
[N & J:]
Such as managing the supermarket produce aisle! [G:]
Now Gorgoth have a job so suitable
Where him can truly dominate a veg’table!
[N & J:]
Yes, now he has a job so suitable
Where he can truly dominate a veg’table!
So the Cleveland Mob, and this is no joke, has a lot of influence with the UFCW. It’s virtually impossible to open a non-union grocery store in that area. If that’s where they are, will he have to join both the UFCW and the Machine Union, or just one?
It seems that one of the purposes of this storyline is showing us how many things got screwed up when Project Skin Horse got shut down. I guess corrupt government assistance with a secret agenda is better than no government assistance.
Methinks you might be right, provided they don’t start their own agency altogether. Maybe a classified ads section in their blog. Not only do they report on the strange, they help them talk to each other!
Given the number of mad scientists in this world, that might be highly lucrative, come to think of it.
I’m sorry, jdreyfuss, but it is quite impossible to take a gangster seriously if he’s threatening you with an Ohio accent. Proper gangsters have to sound like they’re from the Bronx, or Jersey, or Philly. An Ohio gangster would make it sound as if you’re being threatened by Ted Koppel.
Seriously, though, agriculture is the biggest business in Ohio, so Gorgoth shouldn’t have to travel far to find plants to dominate.
The five largest industries in Ohio are, in no particular order: healthcare, energy, heavy industry, insurance, and shipping. Agriculture is somewhere around seventh.
An iron gorilla running his own landscaping and gardening company. He’d never make it in Ohio. He needs to go to California, he’d make a (figurative) killing there.
Eh, it’s all right. I think he or she jumped ship when Shaenon’s maternity leave lasted longer than two weeks, so even if downvoting was a thing, it probably wouldn’t convey any message at all. In the end, I like it that people are honest, at least!
That job at Giant Eagle is looking more interesting all the time.
what about gardening?
Gorgoth is welcome to try dominating the plants in my garden, because I sure can’t. The tomatoes are especially wanton.
I’ve got some rosemary and lavender that are downright oppressive. Can he stop by my place next?
Looks like he has a lot of demand. It’s clear now that Gorgoth just has a PR problem.
If he could dominate zucchini, millions of gardeners will pay handsomely for his services. And if he can dominate kuzu, the South would elect him as general. I just hope kuzu & zucchini don’t ever cross pollinate.
You gotta watch it. The potatoes have eyes…
And don’t bother trying to keep secrets from the vegetables. They’ll get leeked eventually.
Surely landscaping involves a lot of plant domination, and a lot of lucre, if you can serve as your own machinery like Gorgoth can.
Topiary is good, and bonsai has it all if he is patient enough — bondage, deprivation, training…
Tell him to join the Machine Union!
(TUNE: “When I Was A Lad”, from H.M.S. Pinafore, Gilbert & Sullivan)
[GORGOTH:]
When Gorgoth was built, then him decide
That the puny humans should be terrified!
So Gorgoth going forth to dominate,
And the human population, him would subjugate!
[NERA & JONAH:]
Yes, the human population he would subjugate!
[G:]
Him subjugate the world so terrible,
But now him only dominate a veg’table!
[N & J:]
He’d subjugate the world so terrible,
But now he only dominates a veg’table!
[G:]
Then superheroes (them are such a pain)
Put a microchip inside of Gorgoth brain!
And Gorgoth finding out that now him can’t
Try to dominate a human, just a puny plant!
[N & J:]
He can’t dominate a human, just a puny plant!
[G:]
Now Gorgoth is a monster laughable
‘Cause him can only dominate a veg’table!
[N & J:]
Poor Gorgoth is a monster laughable
’Cause he can only dominate a veg’table!
[G:]
Now kids come visiting so fearlessly,
Them know the treachery of broccoli!
They think of something suiting Gorgoth’s style
Such as managing the supermarket produce aisle!
[N & J:]
Such as managing the supermarket produce aisle!
[G:]
Now Gorgoth have a job so suitable
Where him can truly dominate a veg’table!
[N & J:]
Yes, now he has a job so suitable
Where he can truly dominate a veg’table!
Yes! Yes! More G&S!
So the Cleveland Mob, and this is no joke, has a lot of influence with the UFCW. It’s virtually impossible to open a non-union grocery store in that area. If that’s where they are, will he have to join both the UFCW and the Machine Union, or just one?
It seems that one of the purposes of this storyline is showing us how many things got screwed up when Project Skin Horse got shut down. I guess corrupt government assistance with a secret agenda is better than no government assistance.
Hmm. Are we are looking at two future Skin-Horse (or whatever they will call themselves if they start their own private service) recruits?
Methinks you might be right, provided they don’t start their own agency altogether. Maybe a classified ads section in their blog. Not only do they report on the strange, they help them talk to each other!
Given the number of mad scientists in this world, that might be highly lucrative, come to think of it.
I’m sorry, jdreyfuss, but it is quite impossible to take a gangster seriously if he’s threatening you with an Ohio accent. Proper gangsters have to sound like they’re from the Bronx, or Jersey, or Philly. An Ohio gangster would make it sound as if you’re being threatened by Ted Koppel.
Seriously, though, agriculture is the biggest business in Ohio, so Gorgoth shouldn’t have to travel far to find plants to dominate.
The five largest industries in Ohio are, in no particular order: healthcare, energy, heavy industry, insurance, and shipping. Agriculture is somewhere around seventh.
An iron gorilla running his own landscaping and gardening company. He’d never make it in Ohio. He needs to go to California, he’d make a (figurative) killing there.
I was hoping the Mike Lynch shenanigans would be over after a single strip… but here they are… still going… =/
Srsly, is there a way to downvote this SotiCoto sneering snobbery?
–Dave, cuz he knows not of which he talketh
Eh, it’s all right. I think he or she jumped ship when Shaenon’s maternity leave lasted longer than two weeks, so even if downvoting was a thing, it probably wouldn’t convey any message at all. In the end, I like it that people are honest, at least!