I had assumed Valiant was referring to the one in Daly City, where the In-n-Out and Krispy Kreme are conveniently located in the shadow of a Cardiac Center right across the highway from Colma (where the cemeteries are).
Hm, I had assumed since they ended up at Diridon in San Jose, these were more South Bay rats. Of course it could also be the one in Union Landing off of 880.
Wait a mo: are we talking about discarded stale donuts, or actual fresh donuts meant for sale to customers? I’m happy enough to donate my garbage to the Rodent Cause [1], but this sounds like outright theft.
[1] Although less so since it became clear the Rats of DIM are possibly too stupid to live.
We’ve already established that they’re stealing bandwidth. While it would be nice to think that NHIs would be content to live in a way which has no impact on humans at all, it’s not how these rats behave. Or the gerbil, for that matter.
Artie may not have no impact on humans at all, but I would argue the impact he has is wholly positive, which is preferable.
The rats, on the other hands, seems to be having a negative impact, although it’s hard to say how much of that is their fault, and how much is their circumstances.
Listen, my rodents, and you will dream
Of the five trays of donuts from Krispy Kreme.
It was back in the time of our new tribe,
And hardly a rat is still alive
Who remembers that famous plan and scheme.
Just ‘round the corner from In-and-Out,
Spotted by long-ranging food-hunting scouts.
Eluding the rat traps and dangers outside,
A back door unguarded and open wide.
Our I. T. technicians risked terrible harm
By biting through cables to kill the alarm.
A rush of our colony straight in through the door,
And scared the employees they found in the store.
The tray liberation plan put into action,
And dug into crullers for our satisfaction.
Desire expressed, finding new-baked trays.
And rats running rampant in counter displays.
You know the rest, how the patrons ran.
And left us the trays for our helping hand,
We feasted on sugar sacks and half-baked dough
Till bloated and wasted, we staggered on slow.
Fulfilling far over a rat’s fondest dream
With the five trays of donuts from Krispy Kreme.
(Am I parodying “Paul Revere’s Ride” for a tick?
(I think I switched over to “Visit-St. Nick.”)
The robot is blazed by the tears of patriots? Does patriot mean bigoted anasigma agent?
The donut statue. Is glazed.
It is also cursed….
But it comes with a free frogurt!
However, the sprinkles are cursed.
… Can I go now?
The donut of liberty must be glazed from time to time with the tears of patriots & tyrants.
(obligatory pun)
I know that Krispy Kreme in Mountain View quite well.
I had assumed Valiant was referring to the one in Daly City, where the In-n-Out and Krispy Kreme are conveniently located in the shadow of a Cardiac Center right across the highway from Colma (where the cemeteries are).
Hm, I had assumed since they ended up at Diridon in San Jose, these were more South Bay rats. Of course it could also be the one in Union Landing off of 880.
I spent way too much time thinking about this.
Wait a mo: are we talking about discarded stale donuts, or actual fresh donuts meant for sale to customers? I’m happy enough to donate my garbage to the Rodent Cause [1], but this sounds like outright theft.
[1] Although less so since it became clear the Rats of DIM are possibly too stupid to live.
We’ve already established that they’re stealing bandwidth. While it would be nice to think that NHIs would be content to live in a way which has no impact on humans at all, it’s not how these rats behave. Or the gerbil, for that matter.
Artie may not have no impact on humans at all, but I would argue the impact he has is wholly positive, which is preferable.
The rats, on the other hands, seems to be having a negative impact, although it’s hard to say how much of that is their fault, and how much is their circumstances.
They can’t buy donuts because they aren’t recognized as customers. And they’re talking about a few donuts.
Common ground?
Listen, my rodents, and you will dream
Of the five trays of donuts from Krispy Kreme.
It was back in the time of our new tribe,
And hardly a rat is still alive
Who remembers that famous plan and scheme.
Just ‘round the corner from In-and-Out,
Spotted by long-ranging food-hunting scouts.
Eluding the rat traps and dangers outside,
A back door unguarded and open wide.
Our I. T. technicians risked terrible harm
By biting through cables to kill the alarm.
A rush of our colony straight in through the door,
And scared the employees they found in the store.
The tray liberation plan put into action,
And dug into crullers for our satisfaction.
Desire expressed, finding new-baked trays.
And rats running rampant in counter displays.
You know the rest, how the patrons ran.
And left us the trays for our helping hand,
We feasted on sugar sacks and half-baked dough
Till bloated and wasted, we staggered on slow.
Fulfilling far over a rat’s fondest dream
With the five trays of donuts from Krispy Kreme.
(Am I parodying “Paul Revere’s Ride” for a tick?
(I think I switched over to “Visit-St. Nick.”)
Bravo!
Some day they’ll make this into an off Broadway (under Broadway?) play.
“In the alley behind Broadway”
That was magnificent!
This is so good the silverfish may well turn it into an opera!