Phenol? That would definitely give a kick…..although judging by the symptoms (Instant death), I assume he has some kind of wound….Phenol only does that if you INJECT it. Otherwise it gives horrific 2nd or 3rd degree burns and you get to scream while it reacts away the fat in your flesh. Yummy!
….Maybe I know a little too much about these things than is healthy for a student of ecology.
…..odd that he only keeled over, rather than screaming loudly. I’ve seen lab accidents with nicer stuff, and people tend to be kinda louder….
Hmm. Maybe I know a little too much about poisons and their effects for a first year ecology student who failed chemistry in high school…
Perhaps he downed a large quantity of liquid phenol? Given Sweetheart says it was molten phenol, that indicates that either (a) it was the raw stuff, heated to over 40°C (since that’s it’s melting point), or (b) it wasn’t phenol itself but a phenolic compound (which may have a significantly higher melting point, therefore more likely to cause severe damage)…
There might be some kind of compound that has the neurotoxic effects without the “horribly caustic” part of it…..I’m an ecology student who failed chemistry in high school though, so I don’t know of it. I do know a few neurotoxin recipes from high school (A rather “Unique” teacher), but I don’t think any of them contained phenol….it’s a nasty enough chemical that I wouldn’t rule it out though.
…Personally, I think either:
1. GODOT changed the labels in someones head when the machine was being filled
2. GODOT change the label in phillips’ head when he went to tweak his drink
OR
3. Phillips is just that stupid.
One odd thing would be: Why make Phillips go for the phenol, when it would be at least as easy to change everyone’s perceptions so they all poison themselves at once? With something far less noticeable? Maybe GODOT has a limited ability to alter perceptions…only X people, or something like that. Or the ‘Just that evil’ hypothesis where the one-by-one killings with horrific methods is the whole POINT of the matter.
Still. All GODOT needs to do is mislabel something important, and people will kill themselves.
Have you considered what happens when you have 2nd and 3rd degree burns to your Layrngopharynx?
No air, so no screaming. Maybe a few seconds to a minute of grasping your throat, then you collapse. And of course that assumes it doesn’t break through to the carotid, at which point bleeding out is even quicker.
I’m guessing that GODOT made Phillips see the synthesizer sign as something like “YUMMY YUMMY BEER” or maybe “20-YEAR-OLD GLENMACHLOIGHPHANBURGIE SINGLE MALT.”
In other news: Berkeley has declared Sept. 23 to be Bisexual Pride and Bi Visibility Day. Tip and Sergio, will you join me at the party? We can hoist a Glenmachloighphanburgie in celebration.
[CHORUS:]
P to the H to the E to the NOL, phenol!
P to the H to the E to the NOL, pheeee-nol!
Phenyl group an’ hydroxyl ion
Leaves you dead and your mama cryin’,
P to the H to the E to the NOL, phenol!
We were all aboard the crazy train
The security was laughin’, sayin’
That nothing happens in this sector!
They don’t need no sober protector …
Next thing we knew, he was on the floor,
He took a drink and just keeled o’er!
We probably won’t see him no more …
What the heck did the cartoonist introduce him for?? [repeat CHORUS]
Of course, this is what I immediately thought of when I read Unity’s last line.
(Based on “Gunga Din”, Rudyard Kipling)
You may tell heroic tales
Where the hero never fails,
Beats the evil boss, and gets a girl or three …
But among the body count,
You find the most amount
Are the guys and gals who work Security.
Now aboard this crazy train
We met Phillips, who was sayin’
That this sector’s safe, there’s nothing to beware!
Now this guy we met before
Is laid flat out on the floor
With his fingers clenched and feet up in the air.
For he’s dead, dead, dead!
He should not have said the silly things he said!
Had a fatal gin and tonic,
Now his death is quite ironic!
Yes, he laughed at Fate, and no surprise, he’s dead!
He was living to the hilt
In his party hat and kilt,
Showing off his shapely legs and sexy knees …
Molten phenol was on tap,
Took a sip and said, “Oh cr*p,”
Now he’s on his back, his butt is in the breeze.
Yes, poor Phillips has expired,
He was liked and much-admired,
Had a family and friends, and dreams and hopes …
Though he died without a fight,
You can bet, by nine tonight,
That this page will get a link from TV Tropes.
For he’s dead, dead, dead!
With a metaphoric shirt of purest red!
Though, alas, we barely knew you,
By the Garrity that drew you,
You’re a deader man than I am, Phillips, dead!
So when Unity speculates that Phillips dropped dead from drinking “Jäger”, does she mean Jägermeister, the herbal liquor, or does she mean the Jägerdraught from Girl Genius?
Despite some confusing evidence in this case, I’m going in on this. A
security guard who dies with his boots on (at least figuratively)
deserves every benefit of the doubt.
I never met Officer Phillips, but he was my brother. You may say the
man tempted fate, but I tell you that tempting fate is the job of
every security professional. “Fate,” we say, “try picking on someone
your own size, who can bench press 235 pounds.” Every day, he guarded
his personal Pass of Thermopylae against unspeakable eldritch horrors
and employees who forgot their badges in their cubicles the previous
night. The eldritch horror won this day, but a score of 2300-1 —
Phillips was a 10-year man, I believe — is nothing to be ashamed of.
I believe Phillips did what he did for a reason. Maybe he felt he
needed to stand toe to toe with the forces of chaos before he lost his
edge. When the forces of good eventually win this fight, and I believe
they will, history will decree that Phillips’ brave stand was the
turning point. So tonight, let us all solemnly drink a beer — no, a
daquiri! — in Phillips’ honor.
Phenol? That would definitely give a kick…..although judging by the symptoms (Instant death), I assume he has some kind of wound….Phenol only does that if you INJECT it. Otherwise it gives horrific 2nd or 3rd degree burns and you get to scream while it reacts away the fat in your flesh. Yummy!
….Maybe I know a little too much about these things than is healthy for a student of ecology.
…..odd that he only keeled over, rather than screaming loudly. I’ve seen lab accidents with nicer stuff, and people tend to be kinda louder….
Hmm. Maybe I know a little too much about poisons and their effects for a first year ecology student who failed chemistry in high school…
Correction: Inject, or otherwise get it in your bloodstream.
And once again my delete button is broken. I need to wipe out the National Electronics Corporation some time for making this machine……
Perhaps he downed a large quantity of liquid phenol? Given Sweetheart says it was molten phenol, that indicates that either (a) it was the raw stuff, heated to over 40°C (since that’s it’s melting point), or (b) it wasn’t phenol itself but a phenolic compound (which may have a significantly higher melting point, therefore more likely to cause severe damage)…
There might be some kind of compound that has the neurotoxic effects without the “horribly caustic” part of it…..I’m an ecology student who failed chemistry in high school though, so I don’t know of it. I do know a few neurotoxin recipes from high school (A rather “Unique” teacher), but I don’t think any of them contained phenol….it’s a nasty enough chemical that I wouldn’t rule it out though.
…Personally, I think either:
1. GODOT changed the labels in someones head when the machine was being filled
2. GODOT change the label in phillips’ head when he went to tweak his drink
OR
3. Phillips is just that stupid.
One odd thing would be: Why make Phillips go for the phenol, when it would be at least as easy to change everyone’s perceptions so they all poison themselves at once? With something far less noticeable? Maybe GODOT has a limited ability to alter perceptions…only X people, or something like that. Or the ‘Just that evil’ hypothesis where the one-by-one killings with horrific methods is the whole POINT of the matter.
Still. All GODOT needs to do is mislabel something important, and people will kill themselves.
Maybe he was mainlining his phenol daiquiri?
Remember kids, don’t do this at home!
Have you considered what happens when you have 2nd and 3rd degree burns to your Layrngopharynx?
No air, so no screaming. Maybe a few seconds to a minute of grasping your throat, then you collapse. And of course that assumes it doesn’t break through to the carotid, at which point bleeding out is even quicker.
I’m guessing that GODOT made Phillips see the synthesizer sign as something like “Yummy yummy beer
Oops and drat! Really, was that fake Adidas spam so bad?
I’m guessing that GODOT made Phillips see the synthesizer sign as something like “YUMMY YUMMY BEER” or maybe “20-YEAR-OLD GLENMACHLOIGHPHANBURGIE SINGLE MALT.”
In other news: Berkeley has declared Sept. 23 to be Bisexual Pride and Bi Visibility Day. Tip and Sergio, will you join me at the party? We can hoist a Glenmachloighphanburgie in celebration.
While you do that, I’ll invite Unity to join me at the Ambiguous Sexuality Convention for a GuldenDraugr.
We need a good beer run song here. Any suggestions?
Just for you, Andrew …
(TUNE: “Beer Run”, Todd Snider)
[CHORUS:]
P to the H to the E to the NOL, phenol!
P to the H to the E to the NOL, pheeee-nol!
Phenyl group an’ hydroxyl ion
Leaves you dead and your mama cryin’,
P to the H to the E to the NOL, phenol!
We were all aboard the crazy train
The security was laughin’, sayin’
That nothing happens in this sector!
They don’t need no sober protector …
Next thing we knew, he was on the floor,
He took a drink and just keeled o’er!
We probably won’t see him no more …
What the heck did the cartoonist introduce him for??
[repeat CHORUS]
LOL. Classic, Ed.
Of course, this is what I immediately thought of when I read Unity’s last line.
(Based on “Gunga Din”, Rudyard Kipling)
You may tell heroic tales
Where the hero never fails,
Beats the evil boss, and gets a girl or three …
But among the body count,
You find the most amount
Are the guys and gals who work Security.
Now aboard this crazy train
We met Phillips, who was sayin’
That this sector’s safe, there’s nothing to beware!
Now this guy we met before
Is laid flat out on the floor
With his fingers clenched and feet up in the air.
For he’s dead, dead, dead!
He should not have said the silly things he said!
Had a fatal gin and tonic,
Now his death is quite ironic!
Yes, he laughed at Fate, and no surprise, he’s dead!
He was living to the hilt
In his party hat and kilt,
Showing off his shapely legs and sexy knees …
Molten phenol was on tap,
Took a sip and said, “Oh cr*p,”
Now he’s on his back, his butt is in the breeze.
Yes, poor Phillips has expired,
He was liked and much-admired,
Had a family and friends, and dreams and hopes …
Though he died without a fight,
You can bet, by nine tonight,
That this page will get a link from TV Tropes.
For he’s dead, dead, dead!
With a metaphoric shirt of purest red!
Though, alas, we barely knew you,
By the Garrity that drew you,
You’re a deader man than I am, Phillips, dead!
Splendid, and a double-header, too. Bravissimo!
Ed, had I not been spayed I’d be offering to have your babies. That one was GREAT.
God, Ed. That was good. I’m going to need to change my pants now.
So when Unity speculates that Phillips dropped dead from drinking “Jäger”, does she mean Jägermeister, the herbal liquor, or does she mean the Jägerdraught from Girl Genius?
Either will do, under the right (or wrong) circumstances…Me, I prefer Barunjaeger, a honey liqueur–think mead with a serious attitude problem.
UNITY, you’re not even a man. Not entirely, anyway.
I guess that explains why GODOT is not responding: he’s too busy changing the text on vending machines!
Eulogy for Phillips
Despite some confusing evidence in this case, I’m going in on this. A
security guard who dies with his boots on (at least figuratively)
deserves every benefit of the doubt.
I never met Officer Phillips, but he was my brother. You may say the
man tempted fate, but I tell you that tempting fate is the job of
every security professional. “Fate,” we say, “try picking on someone
your own size, who can bench press 235 pounds.” Every day, he guarded
his personal Pass of Thermopylae against unspeakable eldritch horrors
and employees who forgot their badges in their cubicles the previous
night. The eldritch horror won this day, but a score of 2300-1 —
Phillips was a 10-year man, I believe — is nothing to be ashamed of.
I believe Phillips did what he did for a reason. Maybe he felt he
needed to stand toe to toe with the forces of chaos before he lost his
edge. When the forces of good eventually win this fight, and I believe
they will, history will decree that Phillips’ brave stand was the
turning point. So tonight, let us all solemnly drink a beer — no, a
daquiri! — in Phillips’ honor.
Thank you.
A daquiri salute to both Mr. Phillips and Mr. Wernstrom.
To Phillips!
One would have expected to toast Phillips with a screwdriver, but no, Phillips was a daiquiri man to the end.