For the record, hydrogen hydroxide is mostly harmless when served at room temperature…
…although there are increasing doubts as to the safety of dihydrogen monoxide…
…but 3,7-dihydro-1,3,7-trimethyl-1H-purine-2,6-dione is completely safe (in low doses)…
Right family, wrong species. You haven’t finished living until you’ve had a chicken parmesan with atropa marinara. Sitting across from a doe-eyed beautiful lady (or gentleman, as your preference may be), your skin flushing, your heart fluttering… It’s enough to make you see heaven.
(TUNE: “Mercury Blues”, K.C. Douglas & Robert Geddins)
Fabricator thing is
Really boss!
I felt like having curry so I
Made some sauce!
‘Cause I really want some phall curry
To-o-o-o make my toungue explode …
Make my tongue explode!
I’m gonna make me some phall curry
To-o-o-o make my tongue explode!
Scientist
Said, “I will … show you fools!
I’m gonna mix and twist
Organic … molecules!
So you can make yourselves some phall curry
To-o-o-o make your toungue explode …
Make your tongue explode!
Yeah, you can make you some phall curry
To-o-o-o make your tongue explode!”
Phall is hot,
So hot it’s … really nice!
But sady, Phillips’ not!
He’ll now be … put on ice!
I bet he’d really like some phall curry
To-o-o-o make his toungue explode …
Make his tongue explode!
I’m gonna make him some phall curry
To-o-o-o make his tongue explode!
Ed, this is one time that I wish you’d list the performer, not just the writers. Alan Jackson and David Lindley don’t sing it in your rhythm. Only my third try, Steve Miller, worked.
I had the same reaction. Most of the time I still favor crediting the songwriters over the performers, and that’s what I’ve tried to do with the two or three filks I’ve posted in the past. But if there are significantly different versions of a song out there–assuming the filker *knows* this, which Ed may or may not have–maybe it’s worth making an exception?
Tip o’ the hat to Pat Chapman’s excellent “Curry Club” recipe book
Ingredients
1 1/2 lbs meat or 1 1/2 lbs poultry, chopped into 1 inch cubes
1 large onion, finely chopped
8 garlic cloves, finely chopped
1 ounce fresh ginger, finely chopped
3 tablespoons ghee or 3 tablespoons oil
14 ounces canned tomatoes
1 tablespoon tomato ketchup
1 tablespoon tomato puree
12 dried chilies or 12 fresh chili peppers
Spices
1 teaspoon cumin, ground
1 teaspoon coriander, ground
3 teaspoons chili powder (dried, ground chiles such as cayenne)
1 teaspoon dried fenugreek leaves (optional)
1 teaspoon garam masala
Directions
Fry the meat in a pan in half the ghee or oil, until sealed (5 to 10 minutes). Set aside.
Fry the onion, garlic and ginger until golden in remaining ghee or oil.
Mix the spices with a little water to make a paste.
Add to the onion mixture and cook for 10 minutes.
Add the tomato (tinned, ketchup and puree) and chilies.
Cook for a further 10 minutes.
Combine the meat and all ingredients in a casserole dish and cook in a pre-heated oven at 400 degrees F for 45 to 60 minutes. (Alternatively, add meat back to the pan with the mixture and cook covered on low heat for an hour. At this stage you can also just throw it all into the slow cooker if you prefer.).
I beg to differ matey!
The the Ghost Chile ranks a mere 1.04 mil on the Scoville heat unit scale, while the dread Trinidad Moruga Scorpion be ranking a respectable 1.2 mil.
At least, according to my wiki search….
Bad science, I know!
When you’ve got an organic compound fabricator, why bother with the complex, fruity deliciousness of natural peppers when you can sautée a couple of gallons of (6E)-N-[(4-Hydroxy-3-methoxyphenyl)methyl]-8-methylnon-6-enamide and have a little sauce with your spice?
Actually, the Trinidad Moruga Scorpion has now been measured all the way up to 2 million on the Scoville scale. There are YouTube videos of people stupid enough to eat one. Apparently it has a very nice fruity taste, until the level of spice begins to eat away your insides, for several minutes after you eat it. Twelve of those in that curry recipe would do serious harm to anyone, even Unity. She would need a replacement tongue, at the very least.
2 mil is the highest measured for an individual chile: 1.2 mil is the most common score.
As for needing a new tongue…
Costly, but worth it! Unity would probably grab a new one off the her next opponent. Or obstructive bureaucrat. Or unfortunate bystander…
Considering the whole point of spicyness, from the plant’s point of view at least, is to poison animals other than the ones that will spread it, Sweetheart’s right.
Shout-out to Dave Lister and his vindaloo?
Nonsense. What do you think all the cool kids drink these days.
Unsymmetrical dimethylhydrazine?
Stay away from the 50/50. Mixed drinks will mess you up.
For the record, hydrogen hydroxide is mostly harmless when served at room temperature…
…although there are increasing doubts as to the safety of dihydrogen monoxide…
…but 3,7-dihydro-1,3,7-trimethyl-1H-purine-2,6-dione is completely safe (in low doses)…
(I’ll get my coat…)
Just don’t drink anything really nasty, like hydroxylic acid.
Phall Curry Sauce? Feh. Wait until she tries to Thai Tomato Leaves and Chicken!
Or Thai Toxicodendron Chicken! That’s what I meant to say!
Right family, wrong species. You haven’t finished living until you’ve had a chicken parmesan with atropa marinara. Sitting across from a doe-eyed beautiful lady (or gentleman, as your preference may be), your skin flushing, your heart fluttering… It’s enough to make you see heaven.
(TUNE: “Mercury Blues”, K.C. Douglas & Robert Geddins)
Fabricator thing is
Really boss!
I felt like having curry so I
Made some sauce!
‘Cause I really want some phall curry
To-o-o-o make my toungue explode …
Make my tongue explode!
I’m gonna make me some phall curry
To-o-o-o make my tongue explode!
Scientist
Said, “I will … show you fools!
I’m gonna mix and twist
Organic … molecules!
So you can make yourselves some phall curry
To-o-o-o make your toungue explode …
Make your tongue explode!
Yeah, you can make you some phall curry
To-o-o-o make your tongue explode!”
Phall is hot,
So hot it’s … really nice!
But sady, Phillips’ not!
He’ll now be … put on ice!
I bet he’d really like some phall curry
To-o-o-o make his toungue explode …
Make his tongue explode!
I’m gonna make him some phall curry
To-o-o-o make his tongue explode!
Ed, this is one time that I wish you’d list the performer, not just the writers. Alan Jackson and David Lindley don’t sing it in your rhythm. Only my third try, Steve Miller, worked.
I had the same reaction. Most of the time I still favor crediting the songwriters over the performers, and that’s what I’ve tried to do with the two or three filks I’ve posted in the past. But if there are significantly different versions of a song out there–assuming the filker *knows* this, which Ed may or may not have–maybe it’s worth making an exception?
Phall (The Hottest Curry of All!)
By Baz
Tip o’ the hat to Pat Chapman’s excellent “Curry Club” recipe book
Ingredients
1 1/2 lbs meat or 1 1/2 lbs poultry, chopped into 1 inch cubes
1 large onion, finely chopped
8 garlic cloves, finely chopped
1 ounce fresh ginger, finely chopped
3 tablespoons ghee or 3 tablespoons oil
14 ounces canned tomatoes
1 tablespoon tomato ketchup
1 tablespoon tomato puree
12 dried chilies or 12 fresh chili peppers
Spices
1 teaspoon cumin, ground
1 teaspoon coriander, ground
3 teaspoons chili powder (dried, ground chiles such as cayenne)
1 teaspoon dried fenugreek leaves (optional)
1 teaspoon garam masala
Directions
Fry the meat in a pan in half the ghee or oil, until sealed (5 to 10 minutes). Set aside.
Fry the onion, garlic and ginger until golden in remaining ghee or oil.
Mix the spices with a little water to make a paste.
Add to the onion mixture and cook for 10 minutes.
Add the tomato (tinned, ketchup and puree) and chilies.
Cook for a further 10 minutes.
Combine the meat and all ingredients in a casserole dish and cook in a pre-heated oven at 400 degrees F for 45 to 60 minutes. (Alternatively, add meat back to the pan with the mixture and cook covered on low heat for an hour. At this stage you can also just throw it all into the slow cooker if you prefer.).
Yes, but to make it the hottest curry in the world, you have to specify Scotch bonnets or habaneros.
Quite right. Welcome to my tribe, fellow pedant.
Truly, I am not worthy to touch the podium beneath your feet and behind your lectern.
The legendary heat of the Habanero has been eclipsed by the Ghost Chile
I beg to differ matey!
The the Ghost Chile ranks a mere 1.04 mil on the Scoville heat unit scale, while the dread Trinidad Moruga Scorpion be ranking a respectable 1.2 mil.
At least, according to my wiki search….
Bad science, I know!
The Carolina Reaper is the one you want to point at. 1.5m SHU average, with individual specimens measuring up to 2.4m.
When you’ve got an organic compound fabricator, why bother with the complex, fruity deliciousness of natural peppers when you can sautée a couple of gallons of (6E)-N-[(4-Hydroxy-3-methoxyphenyl)methyl]-8-methylnon-6-enamide and have a little sauce with your spice?
Actually, the Trinidad Moruga Scorpion has now been measured all the way up to 2 million on the Scoville scale. There are YouTube videos of people stupid enough to eat one. Apparently it has a very nice fruity taste, until the level of spice begins to eat away your insides, for several minutes after you eat it. Twelve of those in that curry recipe would do serious harm to anyone, even Unity. She would need a replacement tongue, at the very least.
2 mil is the highest measured for an individual chile: 1.2 mil is the most common score.
As for needing a new tongue…
Costly, but worth it! Unity would probably grab a new one off the her next opponent. Or obstructive bureaucrat. Or unfortunate bystander…
My immediate reaction to the last panel was to try composing a filk entitled “Ride of the Phall Curries,” based on a certan Wagner tune.
Which, admittedly, might be easier if I’d ever heard a version with lyrics that I could write a filk of….
In this case I would call it “Bride of the Phall Curries”.
Why need a pre-existing set of lyrics? Adapt the recipe above to fit the tune 😀
Well, there’s this… I learned it at an SCA event years and years ago, and it scans quite nicely to ‘Ride of the Valkyries”:
“We fly through the night skies
Flashing our white thighs,
Picking up dead guys;
You call this a job?
You take the blond one,
I’ll take the redhead;
Oops, he’s not dead yet–
Let him go.” **SPLAT!!!**
😀
“Kill da taste buds, kill da taste buds…”
What
Shall
I
Make
For
Supper now, Supper Now
Supper Now, Supper Now
I’m so Bored, I’m so Bored
With Food that’s Plain and Bland
I’ll kill my taste buds,
Kill my taste buds, kill my taste buds
With Phall curry.
Sear the meat in some
Heated ghee. heated ghee
Seal the flavor.
Onion, gar
lic, ginger, Onion, garlic
Ginger heated
in some Ghee
Cooked to gol
den, cooked to
Golden pure.
Blend in the spices
Blend the spices, blend the spices
To a thick paste.
Add to the onions,
to the onions, t0 the onions
Cook for minutes ten.
Just the intro, then
5,4,4,5
5,4,4,5
3,3,4,3
3,3,4,3
5,4,4,5
5,4,4,5
then it gets complicated
Considering the whole point of spicyness, from the plant’s point of view at least, is to poison animals other than the ones that will spread it, Sweetheart’s right.