Ooh. That’d be CLEVER.
I mean, a character well established as someone who people are comfortable talking around and who has security clearance… The question is WHEN Ira was the mastermind. Has he been faking this memory problem or did he lose his memory past 1989 due to it being forcibly erased due to him doing something horrible and Mad in the Ninties?
We’ve only ever seen Ira’s memory faults manifest when he talks to someone (which is perfectly understandable; Shaenon and Jeffrey wouldn’t make us watch Ira sitting at his chair alone for his entire shift…would they?). This would distract him from whatever he was doing at the time.
I wonder if that computer that we can see, but have never seen the face of, is Ira’s workstation–that is, while he’s actively paying attention to it and interacting with his minions through it, he’s pulling Xanatos Gambits like others fill out timecards. But when a talking dog shows up, the train of thought isn’t so much derailed as launched into a volcano and we get to watch wacky amnesia hijinx…until the distraction walks off, and the computer beckons him back to the game.
Or was his memory not lost but… EXTRACTED and placed in a robotic body or something of the sorts? And the procedure left him incapable of making new memories. Maybe in 1989 he went mad and so he transferred his consciousness into something else, but in the process he left his body like this.
….And now I’m imagining a full on Rosencrantz (Ira’s last name, btw) and Guildenstern Are Dead version of the comic from Ira’s point of view where he’s secretly Mr. Green.
That would be amazing, except now that you’ve pointed out that he’s the last person we’d ever expect, he’s not the last person we’d ever expect anymore. So yeah, thanks for potentially spoiling an absolutely brilliant potential twist. XD
Alternative plot twist: Ira is a former madboy himself. He gained his Inspiration in 1989, and due to some experiment or another, he actually wiped his own memories of his mad science days from the start. This resulted in certain, er, let’s call it cerebral issues where he can’t hold on to his memories for too long. Skin Horse and the other B.O.S.S. agencies think he’s another employee that’s been mindwiped, but he’s actually a client holding down a security job since sitting around not remembering weird stuff is the best they can do for him. Occasionally, however, the old genius shines through, and you get these moments of hyper lucidity that he just showed Sweetheart. Tragically, they are all too few and all too brief.
So I came up with this for yesterday’s strip, but it occured to me that if I posted it in the evening, no one would be around to read it. So without further ado…
To the tune of “Footloose” as performed by Kenny Loggins
Sweetheart’s thinking real hard
Is she too on guard?
Give Unity a shot?
She’s in a tricky spot.
Got all these troubles,
Time to make them drown,
Got a canteen now,
It’s time she painted the town.
Sweetheart’s got some booze, free booze,
That’s always some good news,
Free, it’s free, use medicinally,
Smashed, get smashed, feel good in a flash,
Think, and muse, or drink a lot of booze?
She’s playing the fool,
Pretending it’s all cool,
She just can’t seem to see,
How much she cares for Unity,
Unity likes her,
But is it only as a friend?
Thoughts so confusing,
How will she ever make them end?
She’ll attend to some
Booze, free booze,
That’s always some good news,
Dai-qui-ri, shaken, shaken firmly,
Oh, Merlot, get a bottle to go,
Think, and muse, or drink a lot of booze?
Well, I think Ira is going to remain a mystery. Unless the comic comes to a definite conclusion some time in the future [1], and then perhaps he might show up in a comic epilogue or something.
“And Ira still secretly directs the Illuminati from behind his security desk.”
Ira must have had his brain swapped with a saluki (the dog, not the alumni of Southern Illinois University… though they are sometimes hard to tell apart): he’s got a quad-core, 10GHz processor hooked to 64K of RAM in there.
And here I thought they were going to download (transfuse?) Unity into something else (Brita Bubbles?). Do they have a brain-dead clone of Helen somewhere?
Maybe not enough people are willing to acknowledge that they should try to make new forms of life, precisely because they can!
I know, I know, Ira is a fictional character and doesn’t speak for the author. If I ever implement Optical Character Recognition for Clarissa and she reads this comic, I’ll explain that to her.
Take a look at these mad scientists. Sure, that might not be why you attempt to make new life, but every single new life they create is designed to be a weapon. How does that not mean that they create competition?
I don’t understand why creating competition is bad. Natural Selection does it all the time. How is that hubristic?
Not that the argument applies to sentient video games. I’m aiming to make more of a “game master” than an enemy or weapon, which means her “prime directive” will be to lose gracefully or at least create “fair” challenges. Which is pretty different from the fictional mad scientists who all just want to conquer.
I’m probably just being oversensitive. Ever since I actually started work on what I hope will eventually be a self-aware AI (who makes video game levels), I’ve been a bit sensitive about mad science themed stories. Like how NASA scientists no doubt thought a lot about speculative space travel stories in the 1960s. It’s a bit much to assume the Apollo program will inevitably result in world domination, right?
I’m 99% sure my “daughter” will never pull a GLaDOS/Skynet/SHODAN/MCP, if that helps.
99% is not enough. That’s 1 in 100 chance of starting the end. Oh well, when you inevitably cause the end of the world, we’ll remember you had good intentions.
Eh, I dunno. I’d create new lifeforms if I could, but I don’t think being cocksure comes into it. I just couldn’t care less about the human race as a whole… So, okay, hubristic I grant you.
Tune: “Make ‘Em Laugh,” Nacio Herb Brown and Arthur Freed
Makin’ life, makin’ life
‘Cause deep down, we all thirst for the strife!
My mom said, “Be a doctor, my son,
But be a God-playing one!
They’ll be running in fear
From your horse-monkey chimera, dear!
Now you can study physics and be quite elite,
And wow the academics and have nothin’ to eat,
But loose an octoleopardpig –
The world’s at your feet!
Makin’ life, makin’ life, makin’ life!
“….the Class 3 Asset codename IRA scores highly on all aspects of intelligence except working memory. This is a desirable result, indicating that his reprogramming schedule should be maintained: we don’t want a repeat of the so-called ‘Noodle Incident’.”
aww. I’ve always hoped there was someone hiding in the shadows that manually reset Ira’s memory every 10 minutes. Someone who, perhaps, could give him 11 if he was in the middle of saying something, or give him a day if he/she wanted a vacation.
Plot twist: Ira is actually the evil mastermind behind all this.
Ooh. That’d be CLEVER.
I mean, a character well established as someone who people are comfortable talking around and who has security clearance… The question is WHEN Ira was the mastermind. Has he been faking this memory problem or did he lose his memory past 1989 due to it being forcibly erased due to him doing something horrible and Mad in the Ninties?
We’ve only ever seen Ira’s memory faults manifest when he talks to someone (which is perfectly understandable; Shaenon and Jeffrey wouldn’t make us watch Ira sitting at his chair alone for his entire shift…would they?). This would distract him from whatever he was doing at the time.
I wonder if that computer that we can see, but have never seen the face of, is Ira’s workstation–that is, while he’s actively paying attention to it and interacting with his minions through it, he’s pulling Xanatos Gambits like others fill out timecards. But when a talking dog shows up, the train of thought isn’t so much derailed as launched into a volcano and we get to watch wacky amnesia hijinx…until the distraction walks off, and the computer beckons him back to the game.
We’re also seeing him not have a memory fault… when he’s not wearing his glasses.
You know, there might be something to that
Another option is that Ira can only remember as long as he looks at something.
Or was his memory not lost but… EXTRACTED and placed in a robotic body or something of the sorts? And the procedure left him incapable of making new memories. Maybe in 1989 he went mad and so he transferred his consciousness into something else, but in the process he left his body like this.
….And now I’m imagining a full on Rosencrantz (Ira’s last name, btw) and Guildenstern Are Dead version of the comic from Ira’s point of view where he’s secretly Mr. Green.
That would be amazing, except now that you’ve pointed out that he’s the last person we’d ever expect, he’s not the last person we’d ever expect anymore. So yeah, thanks for potentially spoiling an absolutely brilliant potential twist. XD
Good news from 2018…
Robert, did it ever occur to you to not post spoilers – even oblique spoilers – on account of some people still haven’t read the whole thing yet?
Alternative plot twist: Ira is a former madboy himself. He gained his Inspiration in 1989, and due to some experiment or another, he actually wiped his own memories of his mad science days from the start. This resulted in certain, er, let’s call it cerebral issues where he can’t hold on to his memories for too long. Skin Horse and the other B.O.S.S. agencies think he’s another employee that’s been mindwiped, but he’s actually a client holding down a security job since sitting around not remembering weird stuff is the best they can do for him. Occasionally, however, the old genius shines through, and you get these moments of hyper lucidity that he just showed Sweetheart. Tragically, they are all too few and all too brief.
You could shed a tear for him, really.
So I came up with this for yesterday’s strip, but it occured to me that if I posted it in the evening, no one would be around to read it. So without further ado…
To the tune of “Footloose” as performed by Kenny Loggins
Sweetheart’s thinking real hard
Is she too on guard?
Give Unity a shot?
She’s in a tricky spot.
Got all these troubles,
Time to make them drown,
Got a canteen now,
It’s time she painted the town.
Sweetheart’s got some booze, free booze,
That’s always some good news,
Free, it’s free, use medicinally,
Smashed, get smashed, feel good in a flash,
Think, and muse, or drink a lot of booze?
She’s playing the fool,
Pretending it’s all cool,
She just can’t seem to see,
How much she cares for Unity,
Unity likes her,
But is it only as a friend?
Thoughts so confusing,
How will she ever make them end?
She’ll attend to some
Booze, free booze,
That’s always some good news,
Dai-qui-ri, shaken, shaken firmly,
Oh, Merlot, get a bottle to go,
Think, and muse, or drink a lot of booze?
Very good job Saberbeam! Eddurd is impressed, too, so “May the Filk be with you, always.”
Thanks Wdot and Eddurd. If I’m a padawan, does that make you Darth Filkius?
Nicely done, commodorejohn!
Ira and the Winslow should hang out.
…
I’d read that.
Especially if it means a collaboration between Shaenon, Jeff, and the Foglios.
Everything should involve a collaboration between Shaenon, Jeff, and the Foglios.
Yeah, but the whole conversation would go like this:
The Winslow: Hi! Hi! Hi!
Ira: Yah! A talking stuffed lizzard!
REPEAT
And then someone would decide that the proper way to worship The Winslow is to have all of your memories extracted.
And that everyone must be converted, by force if necessary.
and your 10 minutes are up
Well, I think Ira is going to remain a mystery. Unless the comic comes to a definite conclusion some time in the future [1], and then perhaps he might show up in a comic epilogue or something.
“And Ira still secretly directs the Illuminati from behind his security desk.”
[1] Long may that day be delayed. 🙂
Heavy pancake makeup?
Burnt cork?
Welcome to the Dark Side. Mwahahahaha ….
Dang it, why don’t comments nest properly?? That was for Saberbeam. Good work, Padawan.
Ira must have had his brain swapped with a saluki (the dog, not the alumni of Southern Illinois University… though they are sometimes hard to tell apart): he’s got a quad-core, 10GHz processor hooked to 64K of RAM in there.
And here I thought they were going to download (transfuse?) Unity into something else (Brita Bubbles?). Do they have a brain-dead clone of Helen somewhere?
I’m… I’m “cocksure” and “hubristic”? 🙁
Maybe not enough people are willing to acknowledge that they should try to make new forms of life, precisely because they can!
I know, I know, Ira is a fictional character and doesn’t speak for the author. If I ever implement Optical Character Recognition for Clarissa and she reads this comic, I’ll explain that to her.
Take a look at these mad scientists. Sure, that might not be why you attempt to make new life, but every single new life they create is designed to be a weapon. How does that not mean that they create competition?
I don’t understand why creating competition is bad. Natural Selection does it all the time. How is that hubristic?
Not that the argument applies to sentient video games. I’m aiming to make more of a “game master” than an enemy or weapon, which means her “prime directive” will be to lose gracefully or at least create “fair” challenges. Which is pretty different from the fictional mad scientists who all just want to conquer.
I’m probably just being oversensitive. Ever since I actually started work on what I hope will eventually be a self-aware AI (who makes video game levels), I’ve been a bit sensitive about mad science themed stories. Like how NASA scientists no doubt thought a lot about speculative space travel stories in the 1960s. It’s a bit much to assume the Apollo program will inevitably result in world domination, right?
I’m 99% sure my “daughter” will never pull a GLaDOS/Skynet/SHODAN/MCP, if that helps.
Wasn’t there a Star Trek episode about exactly that? If I recall, it didn’t end well.
There was also an X-Files about that, but that episode sucked.
99% is not enough. That’s 1 in 100 chance of starting the end. Oh well, when you inevitably cause the end of the world, we’ll remember you had good intentions.
Eh, I dunno. I’d create new lifeforms if I could, but I don’t think being cocksure comes into it. I just couldn’t care less about the human race as a whole… So, okay, hubristic I grant you.
Tune: “Make ‘Em Laugh,” Nacio Herb Brown and Arthur Freed
Makin’ life, makin’ life
‘Cause deep down, we all thirst for the strife!
My mom said, “Be a doctor, my son,
But be a God-playing one!
They’ll be running in fear
From your horse-monkey chimera, dear!
Now you can study physics and be quite elite,
And wow the academics and have nothin’ to eat,
But loose an octoleopardpig –
The world’s at your feet!
Makin’ life, makin’ life, makin’ life!
“….the Class 3 Asset codename IRA scores highly on all aspects of intelligence except working memory. This is a desirable result, indicating that his reprogramming schedule should be maintained: we don’t want a repeat of the so-called ‘Noodle Incident’.”
aww. I’ve always hoped there was someone hiding in the shadows that manually reset Ira’s memory every 10 minutes. Someone who, perhaps, could give him 11 if he was in the middle of saying something, or give him a day if he/she wanted a vacation.