Skin Horse

By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
By Shaenon K. Garrity & Jeffrey C. Wells
Color by Pancha Diaz
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2014-06-10
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2014-06-10

by shaenon on June 10, 2014 at 12:01 am
Chapter: The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
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Discussion (28) ¬

  1. ngmatt8652
    June 10, 2014, 12:31 am | # | Reply

    WTH sweetheart

    • Candace
      June 10, 2014, 12:51 am | # | Reply

      I’m afraid poor Sweetheart may have snapped. Must have been the absence of a strong authority figure.

  2. BRGR
    June 10, 2014, 1:16 am | # | Reply

    Both tasks can be executed simultaneously and without interference.
    No dining philosophers need to starve.

    • Jay
      June 10, 2014, 3:27 am | # | Reply

      Well, Bubbles might get burned alive fixing their stuffup. But she doesn’t need to eat, that *is* true…

      • jdreyfuss
        June 10, 2014, 6:45 am | # | Reply

        That’s a military drone. I’m going to assume it’s fairly heat resistant, possibly even fireproof.

        • ZReporter
          June 10, 2014, 9:22 am | # | Reply

          Only it’s a large object that can’t fit inside the building.

          • jdreyfuss
            June 10, 2014, 9:50 am | #

            Bubbles, not Nick. Late of the water cooler, now inhabiting the Violet Bee drone.

    • Frank Hightower
      June 10, 2014, 9:49 am | # | Reply

      unless bubbles is a 3-laws robot. By saving the files she’d be “through inaction, allowing a (few dozen) human(s) to come to harm”

      • Beacuzz
        June 10, 2014, 10:36 am | # | Reply

        I seriously doubt she is a three laws robot. Remember all she did as violet

        • Rex Vivat
          June 10, 2014, 10:43 am | # | Reply

          Violet was a human piloting a drone, and thus her (his?) behavior doesn’t imply anything. Whether Bubbles has to obey the 3 laws is most probably set in her AI, not in her new body.

  3. Dave
    June 10, 2014, 3:39 am | # | Reply

    I don’t think Bubbles is fireproof, Sweetheart.

    -_-

  4. robertnowall
    June 10, 2014, 4:01 am | # | Reply

    Bubbles is the water cooler. Let her put out the fire with her water.

  5. Seph
    June 10, 2014, 4:47 am | # | Reply

    If the basement is on fire, doesn’t that mean that the basement-dwellers are dying in their hundreds, or at any rate are in such a changed situation that the files are no longer relevant in any case?

    I guess I suck at thinking like a bureaucrat.

    • jdreyfuss
      June 10, 2014, 6:46 am | # | Reply

      They’re not in that sub-basement. They’re in a different level that houses the building’s tire recycling plant.

      • davidbreslin101
        June 10, 2014, 9:02 am | # | Reply

        Perhaps this horrendous massacre of the colonists in the Overhead Territory of Tire-Recycling-Plantia will be the provocation that leads to war.

  6. Eddurd
    June 10, 2014, 6:44 am | # | Reply

    (TUNE: “We Didn’t Start The Fire”, Billy Joel)

    Poor Gavotte, she’s such a mess!
    Sexed herself to silliness!
    Gave a task, so we ask,
    “Can we get a raise?”
    Sweetheart, Tip, and Unity,
    Orders contradictory!
    Weapon sonic! Catatonic!
    Chris is in a daze!
    Sweetheart knows Zerhakker can’t
    See inside the rubber plant …
    But the scanner goes on strike,
    Telling her to take a hike!
    Unity persuades us gently!
    Door is open! Incident’ly,
    Building’s gonna burn down!
    Help we cannot turn down!

     We gotta save the files!
    &emsp:Gotta stop our fighting, ’cause they’re all igniting!
     We gotta save the files!
     It’s a grave concern, they soon will burn
      And burn and burn and burn and burn ….

  7. Wdot
    June 10, 2014, 9:40 am | # | Reply

    I don’t always comment, but when I do it’s usually because Eddurd has made me laugh at a filk. Seriously, Sweetheart is focused like a laser on this mission. Does she even NEED money?

    • Shadowmehr
      June 10, 2014, 1:07 pm | # | Reply

      It’s not about the money. It’s about duty, and performing the tasks assigned to her with the utmost of efficiency as befits a bureaucrat of her stature. That reality might have different requirements does not alter her priorities.

    • Miserichord
      June 10, 2014, 3:24 pm | # | Reply

      It’s not so much the raise, it’s the promotion that’s important. Being recognized for doing well, the equivalent of “Good doggy! You are such a good doggy, yes you are!”

  8. Guesticus
    June 10, 2014, 10:45 am | # | Reply

    Sweetie is so focused on that promotion/raise, that she is going to leave people at risk?

    Seriously Sweetie, you have a lot of work redeeming yourself

    • Rex Vivat
      June 10, 2014, 12:15 pm | # | Reply

      Sweetheart seems to be very skilled at seeming contrite about doing bad things yet not learning anything from the experience.
      …And yet, now that I think about it, that’s a very doggy thing to do.

      • mickeyf
        June 10, 2014, 7:40 pm | # | Reply

        The essence of dogginess.

  9. Daniel
    June 10, 2014, 11:13 am | # | Reply

    Way to keep the streak alive, Sweetheart. For a moment, I thought you would finally exhibit a redeeming quality.

  10. Smithnik
    June 10, 2014, 1:53 pm | # | Reply

    Daniel, Sweetheart has lots of redeeming qualities. Unfortunately, they are redeeming qualities in relation to her background, which is a canine developed by a Canadian mad scientist. If you parse her actions based on “canine,” “Canadian” and “mad science,” then everything she’s done is on the up-and-up.
    Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean she’s doing things for those whose basic structure is “human” and “not-mad,” not to mention the whole “not-Canadian” thing.
    People focus on Canadian politeness, but in fact there’s a whole alternate reality going on in Canadians heads. These are a people who once wanted to build a railway across Canada, but have the actual tracks in the U.S., because it was too difficult to build IN Canada…and don’t even mention poutine.

    • Sevendeer
      June 10, 2014, 7:45 pm | # | Reply

      You have caused me to cackle loudly.

  11. Pygar
    June 10, 2014, 4:16 pm | # | Reply

    We can hope that the tire area can be sealed off… IIRC the 12th floor was sealed off, apparently permanently, over something Unity did to it… You’d have to be governmentally stupid to store masses of tires inside an occupied structure… which they appear to have done.

    And Sweetie is just doing her job to the best of her ability- what do you expect? She’s not human, and was clearly raised so that only being a Good Dog got rewarded… no unconditional love.

    • Danny Sichel
      June 10, 2014, 5:48 pm | # | Reply

      Once it’s sealed off, it will become Strong Badia (population: Tire).

  12. tremor3258
    June 10, 2014, 5:44 pm | # | Reply

    So… Sweetheart, all that time in a government office and it’s never quite connected that if the office looks bad, it doesn’t matter how well you do? Her fixation in this case seems… off from her previous fixations.

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