Um, this is the bridge of Steganographic regret we’re discussing. There’s probably a suicide note embedded in the pattern of the adze marks or something.
An easy mistake to make. We hired a steganographer to take minutes one year… took us a while to realise why our filing cabinets were filling up with newspapers with tiny pinpricks over some of the letters.
Sounds about right for A-Sig to impose even more bureacracy than any other government department… and it wouldn’t surprise me if, assuming you succeed at applying for a copy of an Org Chart, that the text is encoded in at least half a dozen different ciphers (i.e. decoding cipher 1 reveals text encoded in cipher 2, which when decoded reveals text in cipher 3…you get the idea).
Other potential requirements for asking for an org chart: write an essay on the appreciation of Vogon poetry, or write a romantic love song in Klingon. If too many requests came in, demand a PhD research paper on the Higgs Boson as well
I’ve been trying to pull the Girl Genius Higgs bo’sun reference for years, but I could never hammer it into the right shape or space. I think I need a bigger hammer.
My pet theory is that Higgs is the (missing) 8th General. The castle recognized him, he could top Ms Dupre, and has survived WAY too much casual damage w/ almost no reaction (fight w/ the fake Heterodyne (aka Pinky)).
(TUNE: “Total Eclipse Of The Heart”, Bonnie Tyler)
(Going down)
Sergio, Virginia, now put on your gear, you’re rapelling down a dirty old shaft … (Going down)
Now you’re going in, while your lazy-ass boss lady stayed upon the surface and laughed! (Going down)
Anasigma, TOTAL, are both a smaller part of a bigger and more devious plan! (Going down)
It’s so convoluted that no person on earth (save for me) could in the least understand!
(Going down, A-Sig)
Seems to me, it’s easy to see … (Going down, A-Sig)
Vi-o-let’s a witch with a Bee!
And the Moon is shining bright,
With a message on the surface!
So we don’t go left or right …
Should’ve seen the look on her face!
So we gotta go spelunking tonight …
Gee, this passage is tight!
We don’t who we work for, and no one knows why!
You’ll never understand it, so don’t even try! (don’t even try!)
There’s multilingual puzzles that you have to do …
Impossible for me, merely tricky for you!
But are we doing this right?
Or are we gonna die tonight?
I hope your brought the dynamite!
Who the bloody heck is this Vi-o-let Bee?
She’s our bloody boss, for a start …
Guess you haven’t seen
Our organizational chart!
Ghazals were a challenge, for better or verse …
Stenographic Bridge fell apart!
No, I’ve never seen
Our organizational chart!
While I’m amazed and amused by your work as always (seriously, I wish I could filk a quarter as well!), I’m having trouble singing the “gee, this passage is tight” line on the melody. DO I have to exxtend a certain vowel or some such?
Umm… the word in the balloon isn’t “stenographic” (which would have to do with taking notes in court), but “steganographic” (which has to do with writing in codes and ciphers). Makes more sense that way. I think.
Or they eventually blast their way through, only to find either:
a) SH have been and gone,
b) they end up elsewhere on the escalator,
c) they miss the escalator shaft and come down on the tube line itself.
Have you read Li’l Mell, Woozy? If you haven’t yet, go read it; you’ll thank yourself. ANTONIO SMITH is a formidable talent at identifying you from a sample of your writing, but creating fiendishly complicated puzzles like the one they’re talking about here is right up Sergio’s alley.
Geez, I forgot how much I missed that comic until I read today’s Skin Horse. Cue archive binge.
Man, Kay. That was awesome. It makes me long to write German sestinas about the Narbonic/Skin Horse universe. If only my German wasn’t so rubbish.
And Esperanto, Artie? Seriously? I knew I wasn’t the only Harry Harrison fan around.
Mi multe preferus esti intergalaksia ŝtelisto ol Anasigma oficisto.
I haven’t much experience at writing poetry, but it looks as though the ghazal is a less restrictive, and so probably easier, form than, for instance, the sonnet or terza rima; only the even numbered lines must rhyme (except in the first couplet), and you can use any meter you like as long as you’re consistent. And Esperanto seems to be a pretty rhyme-rich language, compared to English (I don’t know about Persian or Arabic). — But because the ghazal is more obscure than most other poetic forms, and Esperanto is more obscure than most languages, they make a better punchline than, say “those Hungarian sonnets” or “those Cantonese limericks”.
Sort of off topic, but is the server clock off? These used to come out at 12:00am EST but lately, much later, and yet it still shows posting at 12:00am?
With apologies to Eddurd — but this tune choice seems kinda obvious.
(Tune: “The City of New Orleans”, Steve Goodman)
Riding on the City of Saint Charlie,
Board her at the Court of Ascension rail
One huge car with seven restless riders,
No conductors, she doesn’t carry mail.
All along this strange-bound odyssey
You’re traveling with Ms. Violet Bee
You’ll never see any houses, farms or fields.
Passin’ trains are unlikely,
But she does have satellite TV
And your safety is definitely not guaranteed.
CHORUS:
Good morning, agents — how are you?
You don’t know me, but I will never return.
I’m the train they call The City of Saint Charlie,
Climb on board, there is much for you to learn.
Busting down through twenty feet of concrete
Advantage! — Ruby’s keeping score
Pass along a sammich to Ms. UNITY,
Feel the wheels rumblin’ ‘neath the floor.
And sons of nonhuman sapients
And the sons of engineers
Ride strange science carpets made of steel.
Tip is back with Dr. Lee,
Sparks will fly, you will see!
And competition with TOTAL is what they feel.
CHORUS
Nighttime on The City of Saint Charlie,
Changing cars is just not meant to be.
No telling where we might be by morning
Through the underground darkness
Rolling down to the sea.
And all our former assignments seem
To fade into a bad dream
And the steel rails still ain’t heard the news.
Don’t sing Esperanto ghazals again,
The passengers will please refrain
This train’s got Anasigma railroad blues.
I can honestly say that’s the first I ever heard of a “ghazal.” The Wikipedia article is, umm, interesting.
Bridge of Stenographic Regret clearly crosses the gorge of the river Thai. If you’ve tried to read Thai like I have, you’ll know what I mean.
Um, this is the bridge of Steganographic regret we’re discussing. There’s probably a suicide note embedded in the pattern of the adze marks or something.
An easy mistake to make. We hired a steganographer to take minutes one year… took us a while to realise why our filing cabinets were filling up with newspapers with tiny pinpricks over some of the letters.
…you win an internet.
Wait, so a steganographer is not a dinosaur who takes dictation??
Sounds about right for A-Sig to impose even more bureacracy than any other government department… and it wouldn’t surprise me if, assuming you succeed at applying for a copy of an Org Chart, that the text is encoded in at least half a dozen different ciphers (i.e. decoding cipher 1 reveals text encoded in cipher 2, which when decoded reveals text in cipher 3…you get the idea).
Other potential requirements for asking for an org chart: write an essay on the appreciation of Vogon poetry, or write a romantic love song in Klingon. If too many requests came in, demand a PhD research paper on the Higgs Boson as well
No, the text is just meaningless dummytext, the org chart is actually encoded within the structure of the various ciphers used.
No, Higgs (http://girlgeniusonline.com/info/cast/cast07.php) is a Machinist’s Mate 3d class. Boatswain’s Mate is a different specialty entirely ^_^.
I’ve been trying to pull the Girl Genius Higgs bo’sun reference for years, but I could never hammer it into the right shape or space. I think I need a bigger hammer.
I wish you luck if you decide to attempt to steal Mjölnir
My pet theory is that Higgs is the (missing) 8th General. The castle recognized him, he could top Ms Dupre, and has survived WAY too much casual damage w/ almost no reaction (fight w/ the fake Heterodyne (aka Pinky)).
(TUNE: “Total Eclipse Of The Heart”, Bonnie Tyler)
(Going down)
Sergio, Virginia, now put on your gear, you’re rapelling down a dirty old shaft …
(Going down)
Now you’re going in, while your lazy-ass boss lady stayed upon the surface and laughed!
(Going down)
Anasigma, TOTAL, are both a smaller part of a bigger and more devious plan!
(Going down)
It’s so convoluted that no person on earth (save for me) could in the least understand!
(Going down, A-Sig)
Seems to me, it’s easy to see …
(Going down, A-Sig)
Vi-o-let’s a witch with a Bee!
And the Moon is shining bright,
With a message on the surface!
So we don’t go left or right …
Should’ve seen the look on her face!
So we gotta go spelunking tonight …
Gee, this passage is tight!
We don’t who we work for, and no one knows why!
You’ll never understand it, so don’t even try! (don’t even try!)
There’s multilingual puzzles that you have to do …
Impossible for me, merely tricky for you!
But are we doing this right?
Or are we gonna die tonight?
I hope your brought the dynamite!
Who the bloody heck is this Vi-o-let Bee?
She’s our bloody boss, for a start …
Guess you haven’t seen
Our organizational chart!
Ghazals were a challenge, for better or verse …
Stenographic Bridge fell apart!
No, I’ve never seen
Our organizational chart!
While I’m amazed and amused by your work as always (seriously, I wish I could filk a quarter as well!), I’m having trouble singing the “gee, this passage is tight” line on the melody. DO I have to exxtend a certain vowel or some such?
That was awesome. Now get right over to “Monster of the Week” and write a filk for the Jersey Devil.
I may be a little biased here because I’ve always liked that song so much, but I still thought that was brilliant.
Hey, if Shaenon can refuse to apologize for her love for Paul Simon, I don’t have to apologize for my love for Jim Steinman.
Umm… the word in the balloon isn’t “stenographic” (which would have to do with taking notes in court), but “steganographic” (which has to do with writing in codes and ciphers). Makes more sense that way. I think.
Ed, this has got to be one of your best yet. And better than the original, too.
*Raises hand* Um, I was told there would be no homework in this class.
If they break through the roof of the escalator room and fall on the Skin Horse crew, that would be priceless
Or they eventually blast their way through, only to find either:
a) SH have been and gone,
b) they end up elsewhere on the escalator,
c) they miss the escalator shaft and come down on the tube line itself.
They should’ve just hired ANTONIO SMITH, FORENSIC LINGUIST to solve the puzzles for them.
Whom do you think they got to write the puzzles for them in the first place?
Sergio.
Have you read Li’l Mell, Woozy? If you haven’t yet, go read it; you’ll thank yourself. ANTONIO SMITH is a formidable talent at identifying you from a sample of your writing, but creating fiendishly complicated puzzles like the one they’re talking about here is right up Sergio’s alley.
Geez, I forgot how much I missed that comic until I read today’s Skin Horse. Cue archive binge.
Since a ghazal traditionally deals with illicit and unobtainable love, I thought this would be appropriate:
Ghazal for Virginia and Unity
How flossed that I, the mighty engine of Skin Horse,
Am like an ant to she who fit me for Skin Horse.
With microscope she watches me as I, her pawn,
With heavy heart, do heavy lifting for Skin Horse.
I bring her dog food, goblin porn and extra limbs.
I praise her work, I make her fit to be Skin Horse.
She calls me BFF, her loyal comrade, pal,
But does not see the Sweetheart waiting in Skin Horse.
I long to hold her, bend her supple flesh . . . I think—
I never had a chance to do that pre-Skin Horse.
She came to me as old, fat, white-guy Dr. Lee.
Her true form would have made me plushy for Skin Horse!
Is it too late? Could I declare my love at last?
Would she be squicked, or might she even leave Skin Horse?
If she returned my fervor, what, then, would we do?
What life could we have, outside of our dear Skin Horse?
First Tip, and now that Sergio Mendoza fool.
What loser dudes in Anasigma and Skin Horse!
But they have johnsons, and I lost mine at her hands.
How could she ride me, when I lack my own Skin Horse?
I look at Artie. Such a stud in mannish form.
Could I take human shape, serving her and Skin Horse?
I will not rest, until I find a way to be
My love’s love. Fate made our paths collide in Skin Horse.
Nick and Sweetheart, true lovers we despite our forms,
Will bravely triumph, this we swear in name Skin Horse!
Nick and Sweetheart, true lovers we despite our forms,
o.O
“A” is pronounced “ah”, and “+” is a sum, so Kay is A+
Man, Kay. That was awesome. It makes me long to write German sestinas about the Narbonic/Skin Horse universe. If only my German wasn’t so rubbish.
And Esperanto, Artie? Seriously? I knew I wasn’t the only Harry Harrison fan around.
Mi multe preferus esti intergalaksia ŝtelisto ol Anasigma oficisto.
Well, I only had a semester of German, but I did write a Skin Horse sestina in English: http://www.webcomicsnation.com/shaenongarrity/skinhorse/series.php?view=archive&chapter=48820). I owe Shaenon and Jeff a lot of thanks, because I’d never heard of either sestinas or ghazals until I read about them here.
I haven’t much experience at writing poetry, but it looks as though the ghazal is a less restrictive, and so probably easier, form than, for instance, the sonnet or terza rima; only the even numbered lines must rhyme (except in the first couplet), and you can use any meter you like as long as you’re consistent. And Esperanto seems to be a pretty rhyme-rich language, compared to English (I don’t know about Persian or Arabic). — But because the ghazal is more obscure than most other poetic forms, and Esperanto is more obscure than most languages, they make a better punchline than, say “those Hungarian sonnets” or “those Cantonese limericks”.
Esperanto is the most popular constructed language, except maybe Klingon. Imagine having to write poetry in Lojban.
Sort of off topic, but is the server clock off? These used to come out at 12:00am EST but lately, much later, and yet it still shows posting at 12:00am?
We seem to have shifted to Pacific time. It’s a bit of a shame, I used to enjoy my early Skin-Horse fix.
A-Sig: you don’t have to be a masochist to work here, but it helps.
Why didn’t she just hire ANTONIO SMITH, FORENSIC LINGUIST? Woulda save a lot of time.
With apologies to Eddurd — but this tune choice seems kinda obvious.
(Tune: “The City of New Orleans”, Steve Goodman)
Riding on the City of Saint Charlie,
Board her at the Court of Ascension rail
One huge car with seven restless riders,
No conductors, she doesn’t carry mail.
All along this strange-bound odyssey
You’re traveling with Ms. Violet Bee
You’ll never see any houses, farms or fields.
Passin’ trains are unlikely,
But she does have satellite TV
And your safety is definitely not guaranteed.
CHORUS:
Good morning, agents — how are you?
You don’t know me, but I will never return.
I’m the train they call The City of Saint Charlie,
Climb on board, there is much for you to learn.
Busting down through twenty feet of concrete
Advantage! — Ruby’s keeping score
Pass along a sammich to Ms. UNITY,
Feel the wheels rumblin’ ‘neath the floor.
And sons of nonhuman sapients
And the sons of engineers
Ride strange science carpets made of steel.
Tip is back with Dr. Lee,
Sparks will fly, you will see!
And competition with TOTAL is what they feel.
CHORUS
Nighttime on The City of Saint Charlie,
Changing cars is just not meant to be.
No telling where we might be by morning
Through the underground darkness
Rolling down to the sea.
And all our former assignments seem
To fade into a bad dream
And the steel rails still ain’t heard the news.
Don’t sing Esperanto ghazals again,
The passengers will please refrain
This train’s got Anasigma railroad blues.
CHORUS